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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

You would know if you were pregnant SURELY?

170 replies

Gwladgwlad · 05/10/2014 21:31

Heard one of those stories today- friend of a friend out on a friday night as normal, next day gets tummy pains & has a baby! No bump, no symptoms, out of the blue!?
SURELY you would suspect? Both my dc's were lively in my tummy, my belly moved a lot and I felt them constantly. Its not like having bad wind or something.
SURELY you would know!? Suspect things werent as per normal!
Aibu - it just leaves me amazed!!

OP posts:
Permanentlyexhausted · 05/10/2014 22:54

Serenity - the lady I know went to A&E with excruciating stomach cramps and came home with a baby.

BrightSunshineyDay · 05/10/2014 22:55

dontlaugh That's interesting. Apologies if I'm being thick here but what is the difference between concealed pregnancy and denial of pregnancy? I would say I had both, yet in someways, neither in my case. I denied it to one person who asked me outright. When I was on my own at home I admitted it to myself and looked and walked like I was pregnant. But outside of my home I was very different.

PongPongPlease · 05/10/2014 22:59

My DM was 40, been sterilised and went to the GP as she though she was anaemic. Nope! DB popped out 3 months later.

ddubsgirl77 · 05/10/2014 23:07

Yabu a tilted womb causes bump to go up rather than out

Tapirbackrider · 05/10/2014 23:20

My MIL went to the dr because her period had become irregular, only to discover that she was actually 7 months pregnant. There was no bump, periods had continued during pregnancy, and she'd felt no real movements.

BrightSunshineyDay · 05/10/2014 23:21

Also, bear in mind there are many women like me. I may be your friend of a friend who was adamant they didn't know. Since giving birth I have spoken to my healthvisitor and socisl services (despite knowing I was pregnant I went into shock after delivering my baby and gave him up - subsequently got him back Grin ) & it is more common than we think for women 30+, already with children, to go into denial.
Again I am not suggesting for one moment anyone here has done that. Just talking about my own experience.

Becca19962014 · 05/10/2014 23:32

I worked with someone who was diagnosed by a doctor as going through an early menopause and was sent for a scan to confirm why. She was devastated as she had not long got married and had longed for a baby and was now facing that never happening.

When she had the scan it showed she was over seven months pregnant. She was majorly shocked as was her husband. They were prepared for every possible reason for the early menopause including cancer by the GP. Definitely not prepared for a baby though!

Her weight hid her bump, she had no periods but the pregnancy test she did was negative and GP didn't bother doing one, or I suspect doing any blood tests for menopause, they just referred for this scan which took months (luckily it happened before she gave birth!!)

Luckily her daughter although born early (so not much time to prepare!) was fine and is now many many years later somewhat of a handful!! Smile

soapboxqueen · 06/10/2014 00:20

I had no symptoms with either of my pregnancies. No morning sickness, I have pcos so can often go a year without a period, I'm on the heavy side and carry much of my weight on my tummy, neither moved around much so could easily have called movements up to wind. They were both early too.

If I hadn't been trying to get pregnant and so obviously knew that I was, I could have been one of those women.

Littleroobe · 06/10/2014 00:53

I always thought this until I had DD. Although there was no mistaking I was pregnant as I was huge! She rarely moved. I literally had to stop for up to 2 hours morning and night to make sure she was still ok! It was only when I concentrated I was fully aware of her moving as they were so tiny even though she was a bigger baby. After this I realised it is possible not to know for so long.

bright was it you that had the adoption thread? If so hope you're doing ok. I often wonder about you Smile

Sorry to hijack there!

MissYamabuki · 06/10/2014 01:03

Tight stomach muscles would make a baby bump more noticeable not less IMO.

The only symptom I'd find it hard to ignore or explain away is the feeling of fullness in your abdomen esp when lying / turning in bed or bending down to do up your shoes etc

CheerfulYank · 06/10/2014 01:12

I think it's possible!

With the placement of the placenta, you could not feel the kicks.

MidniteScribbler · 06/10/2014 01:28

If I hadn't had fertility treatment I probably could have overlooked my pregnancy. Even when I went in to hospital in labour the staff in the emergency room (where I had to enter through) wouldn't believe that I was pregnant until they looked up my file as I didn't look visibly pregnant. A lot of people didn't even know I was pregnant until I put a picture of DS up on facebook, and even then, a lot asked me if I had adopted.

Tinkerisdead · 06/10/2014 01:32

There was an MN regular who this happened to and she'd be asked repeadedly to tell her story, its already 1.30am and now her username is gonna bug me and keep me awake.

Anyway she went into labour unexpectedly and her NEW partner of just a few months had to deliver this shock baby and they stayed together etc. i'll see if I can find her story it was brill.

JamaicanMeCrazy · 06/10/2014 01:34

I found out with dc3 at 32 weeks. She was born 3 weeks later.

I had an anterior placenta and she was back to back so I looked normal, in fact I actually lost 2st when pregnant with her Confused

I have fibromyalgia so many of the symptoms were pretty normal to me and it honestly never occurred to me, after being told when I had dc 2 that I would never have another, that I was pregnant.

I get obstetric cholestasis in pregnancy and knew my liver was failing so went to the gp. She took bloods and palpated my abdomen and listened with a stethoscope, but never picked up the pregnancy herself.

It was only when I had a liver scan in the hospital that I found out, and it was a bloody huge shock. I had a panic attack.

Three weeks later I had a beautiful little girl, who will be turning 2 in a few weeks Smile

Tinkerisdead · 06/10/2014 01:38

Ah Jamaican thats a great story, i hated pregnancy did you feel you missed out or best pregnancy ever as it was so quick for you?

STRANDEDBEARS fab birthstory here

Serenitysutton · 06/10/2014 06:02

A lot of posters are ignoring Brights posts where she is saying she was in denial and people she knows believe that she was unaware of her pregnancy. My point is, all those insistent their friends had surprise babies could be exactly like brights friends- well intentioned but don't know the reality of the situation

EvilRingahBitch · 06/10/2014 06:52

I think Stranded's birth story was revealed to be untrue.

For the person who asked, a concealed pg is where the woman knows she's pg but conceals it from others, and pg denial is where she wilfully ignores obvious symptoms and refuses to acknowledge the pg to herself. There could be an element of both in some of the second-hand stories on this thread, but that doesn't mean that there's no such thing as a genuinely unknown pg - all the necessary factors are sufficiently common that you'd expect to see a fair few women tickîng every box each year.

CheerfulYank · 06/10/2014 06:56

I thought Stranded herself was revealed to be not what she seemed, but the birth story was true?

GoodboyBindleFeatherstone · 06/10/2014 07:01

I can absolutely guarantee that my mum is who she is and was NOT in denial and NOT concealing her pregnancy. She genuinely didn't know she was pregnant because her GP told her she wasn't!

BalloonSlayer · 06/10/2014 07:04

If someone has a very small/invisible bump it makes perfect sense for them to feel no movement from the baby as it hasn't got room to move.

I am 50, have unaccountably put on ½ stone in the last 4 months despite eating the same as I always do, am still having periods although not quite the same as always (but hey! I'm 50 so that's to be expected). I looked at myself in the mirror yesterday and thought "Ugh! I look pregnant! MUST lose weight." Do I think I am pregnant? Of course bloody not - DH has had the snip! It's just middle-aged spread.

Should I suddenly produce a baby it would not be denial on my part, it would just be bloody unlikely.

My great-grandmother had a baby at 48 - must have been her 6th or 7th. She went to the Doctors with a "growth" in her stomach - she thought she had cancer - and came home Blush

You get to an age when you just don't expect things any more.

FamiliesShareGerms · 06/10/2014 07:05

StrandedBear's photos of her pregnant (part way down the thread linked to above) demonstrate how it's possible not to have a bump...

BikeRunSki · 06/10/2014 07:07

With Ds I knew I was pg, but I barely had a bump. He was footling breech. Head was in my ribs, feet were practically in my knickers.

LizzieMint · 06/10/2014 07:14

My mum didn't know she was pregnant with me until she was 6 months. She'd got pregnant very quickly after another baby (like, within a few weeks!) so hadn't had periods, was still losing baby weight. She had put on 4 stone with my sister, started weightwatchers and lost 2 stone while unknowingly pregnant with me. She started to suspect when her weight started going up again, despite dieting.
I was huge with all of my pregnancies and would definitely not miss one of those! The churning stomach and having hands or feet sticking out of my stomach are quite unmissable for me!

sleepywombat · 06/10/2014 07:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chipsandpeas · 06/10/2014 07:24

I just don't buy it, sorry. No sickness, no tiredness, no cravings, no aversions, no movements, no pelvic pain AND no bump? I think these women must be in denial.

in the past 3months ive had sickness and nausea, i am tired all the time, i get various cravings at the moment its peanut butter and i also go off some foods and drinks
movements i put down to gut ache and the sicky feeling

i am deffo not pregnant - a lot of the symptons could be put down to something else - kinda like people sympton spotting in the 2ww - the symptons they are looking at can be down to something else
so i believe it is entirely possible