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as requested, for those that do not already know, my birth story

(177 Posts)
StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 12:19:53

This crops up a lot on various threads, and I feel terrible for hi-jacking threads.

I didn't know I was pregnant until I had DD. That sounds absurd, and I still don't really believe it myself.

I was a first year uni student so you can only begin to imagine my lifestyle, kebabs every week, binge drinking, weed, fags, the lot. I'm sure I don't have to spell it out to you.
I have ibs and was on the pill, and whilst on the pill when you have a break from the pill you have what is called a 'ghost bleed' this is not an actual period.

This may be the time to mention that I left my XP when I started uni and met my current DP (had DD after 4 months of being with DP)

I gave birth on the Friday, I was out clubbing on the Wednesday, had what I thought a horrible hang over on the Thursday morning with chronic stomach pain and vomiting (not the first time I've had a hangover like this) anyway the pain didn't stop all day so I had an early night. Friday morning my pain was still there, so thinking my ibs was playing up I rang for a doctor's appointment but there were non till Monday, fine I'll wait. It got to 6pm and I curled up for a sleep with a hot water bottle and popped 2 paracetamol, I woke at 9 grabbed my car keys to drive to a&e but was in too much pain to make it past the front door. Dropped keys and went to the toilet, it was about 9.55 and DP turns up for no reason at all.

When he arrived I was doubled over my bed, unable to move or speak, he asks me what's wrong and I said something like call an ambulane I'm dying. He says what? Then suddenly my pain changes from all down my back to round my fanjo and something inside me screams 'you are having a baby' DP calls 999 and is told to 'look' he yanks my bottoms down and shouts FUCK IT'S THE TOP OF A HEAD!! so he is on loudspeaker to paramedics, tells me to lie on my back and push, he the delivers dd, and I will remember to this day they asked on the phone 'is it breathing' his response 'no its blue' he then for a couple of minutes rubbed and patted her, and she took her first breaths just as the ambulance arrived to cut her cord.

I am strapped to a chair and carried downstairs with DP by my side and my friend, who had emerged just as the ambulance arrived carrying DD, they whisked me to hospital where they examined me and found no tearing and a perfect baby. She was born 6lbs 10ozs back to back with no pain relief.

DP stayed with me, didn't leave my side for 2 days until I sent him home to shower and tell his parents, and he has stayed ever since. He delivered, revived and has bought up a child that is not biologically his. And without him she wouldn't be here now.

I didn't look pregnant at all, I am a size 10 now and a stone fatter than I was when 9months pregnant.

saffronwblue Wed 04-Apr-12 12:21:49

OMG! Made the hairs stand up on my neck reading that. You must have been in some level of shock for months if not years.

TheLaineyWayIsEssex Wed 04-Apr-12 12:24:33

shock incredible story. What an amazing dp you have too

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 12:24:44

It took me nearly a year to love her, want to hold her, or want her anywhere near me.

getagoldtoof Wed 04-Apr-12 12:25:17

How did you come to terms with suddenly having a child - I cannot get to grips with how you could manage this. I still felt shocked after knowing for 9 months!

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 12:25:46

Note I did, not because I wanted to but because I felt I had to.

AFuckingKnackeredWoman Wed 04-Apr-12 12:26:55

I cant imagine the shock! I knew and was still floored by ds1's arrival

nickelhasababy Wed 04-Apr-12 12:29:14

that made me cry.

thanks for sharing it.
I wonder if some of your other "hangovers" were to do with the pregnancy.

How did you cope in that year?
do you think you had PND or PTSD?
(don't answer if you don't want to)

covermeup Wed 04-Apr-12 12:32:40

Wow that is shocking. What an amazing story! And of course what a wonderful DP you have smile

I have read your story before, and it's totally amazing to read it again. Thanks for sharing! The human body is incredible and wondrous isn't it (both yours and your DD's)???

BerryMenlove Wed 04-Apr-12 12:35:11

I'm not surprised you felt like you were dying with full blown contractions, not realising what they were.

spiderlight Wed 04-Apr-12 12:36:21

Wow - amazing, and thank heavens your DP arrived when he did! My mum didn't know she was pregnant until 6 weeks before I was born (they'd tried unsuccessfully for 14 years, she was 46 and her GP had told her I was the menopause hmm ).

IAmBooyhoo Wed 04-Apr-12 12:38:27

how long ago was it SB?

i think a huge part of my PND was to do with the fact that ds2 was very much unplanned and i got pregnant with him immediately at the start of the relationship. i cannot imagine how difficult it would be not having those 8/9months to prepare for the idea.

LadyBeagleEyes Wed 04-Apr-12 12:39:01

I've read this before too Stranded.
It's an amazing story, and it sounds like you're an amazing mum too.
How utterly life changing it must have been.

ovaltine Wed 04-Apr-12 12:40:35

bloody hell! Thats just mental. Did DP bring up DD for the first year? I would still be tripping out about it, found it hard to believe i gave birth and had an actual baby and had 8 months to get used to the idea first. How old is DD now?

How terrifying for you and your DP and how brave the both of you were.

MadamFolly Wed 04-Apr-12 12:47:29

Wow, thats mad, I don't know how your or your DP coped, does her Biodad see her at all?

hackmum Wed 04-Apr-12 12:47:46

I did read the story when you posted it on a thread about women not realising they were pregnant, but enjoyed it even more this time. Especially "FUCK IT'S THE TOP OF A HEAD!!"

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 12:48:46

Well I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep her for the first few days, the first thing she would have heard me say is 'get that thing away from me' but after my mum persuaded me I decided to keep her, and I am SO glad i did now.

Because we were in halls, I had to move out and live with my nan (about 30minute drive away) but I still saw DP on weekends and on odd days he wasn't in uni or working. I had to take a 9month break from studying to get my head around stuff.

It still sometimes feels weird saying 'that's my daughter' but sometimes you have to take the bull by the horns and do what you have to do.

Massive PND and PTSD, it took me a long time to get over it. And I still feel totally robbed of my pregnancy and get upset when thinking that I have no scan pictures or anything sad It took over a year to pull myself out of PND, and again it was DP that helped me through that.

DD has just turned 2 years old!

BusinessTrills Wed 04-Apr-12 12:50:02

I think you should get this moved to a topic that doesn't get deleted (Childbirth?) and bookmark it so you can just link people to it whenever it comes up.

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 12:50:41

Yes I rang XP from the hospital at about 10.30pm, he thought I was playing some sick joke hmm He never came to see her though at hospital, I was in over the weekend and he never came. His mum did but he didn't bother.

He has seen her every other weekend since she was 3 weeks old and has paid HA! CSA since she was 9 months old

Lulumama Wed 04-Apr-12 12:50:43

wow ! your DP is a prince amongst men ! WHat a roller coaster for you and for DD. glad things are good now

Calamityboo Wed 04-Apr-12 12:54:23

Omg shock stranded you are one brave lady, that really is amazing, your dp is amazing too. Well done. You must be so proud of yourself!

Faverolles Wed 04-Apr-12 12:54:43

If/when you have more dc (I've read before that you'd like more, so I hope this isn't insensitive to say!) do you think you wouldn't be visibly pregnant?
Were you ever given a reason for not looking pregnant?

(again, ignore if you don't want to answer it!)
I've read your story before, and seen your photos. Thankyou for writing it again - it's amazing smile

BooMagoo Wed 04-Apr-12 12:55:19

That's an amazing story,especially as you were a size 10!
I didn't find out that I was pregnant until I was in my third month with DS2. Oddly enough,I was being fitted for a bridesmaids dress (outing myself as below par in looks) and had put on 3 inches.

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