as requested, for those that do not already know, my birth story

(177 Posts)
StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 12:19:53

This crops up a lot on various threads, and I feel terrible for hi-jacking threads.

I didn't know I was pregnant until I had DD. That sounds absurd, and I still don't really believe it myself.

I was a first year uni student so you can only begin to imagine my lifestyle, kebabs every week, binge drinking, weed, fags, the lot. I'm sure I don't have to spell it out to you.
I have ibs and was on the pill, and whilst on the pill when you have a break from the pill you have what is called a 'ghost bleed' this is not an actual period.

This may be the time to mention that I left my XP when I started uni and met my current DP (had DD after 4 months of being with DP)

I gave birth on the Friday, I was out clubbing on the Wednesday, had what I thought a horrible hang over on the Thursday morning with chronic stomach pain and vomiting (not the first time I've had a hangover like this) anyway the pain didn't stop all day so I had an early night. Friday morning my pain was still there, so thinking my ibs was playing up I rang for a doctor's appointment but there were non till Monday, fine I'll wait. It got to 6pm and I curled up for a sleep with a hot water bottle and popped 2 paracetamol, I woke at 9 grabbed my car keys to drive to a&e but was in too much pain to make it past the front door. Dropped keys and went to the toilet, it was about 9.55 and DP turns up for no reason at all.

When he arrived I was doubled over my bed, unable to move or speak, he asks me what's wrong and I said something like call an ambulane I'm dying. He says what? Then suddenly my pain changes from all down my back to round my fanjo and something inside me screams 'you are having a baby' DP calls 999 and is told to 'look' he yanks my bottoms down and shouts FUCK IT'S THE TOP OF A HEAD!! so he is on loudspeaker to paramedics, tells me to lie on my back and push, he the delivers dd, and I will remember to this day they asked on the phone 'is it breathing' his response 'no its blue' he then for a couple of minutes rubbed and patted her, and she took her first breaths just as the ambulance arrived to cut her cord.

I am strapped to a chair and carried downstairs with DP by my side and my friend, who had emerged just as the ambulance arrived carrying DD, they whisked me to hospital where they examined me and found no tearing and a perfect baby. She was born 6lbs 10ozs back to back with no pain relief.

DP stayed with me, didn't leave my side for 2 days until I sent him home to shower and tell his parents, and he has stayed ever since. He delivered, revived and has bought up a child that is not biologically his. And without him she wouldn't be here now.

I didn't look pregnant at all, I am a size 10 now and a stone fatter than I was when 9months pregnant.

saffronwblue Wed 04-Apr-12 12:21:49

OMG! Made the hairs stand up on my neck reading that. You must have been in some level of shock for months if not years.

TheLaineyWayIsEssex Wed 04-Apr-12 12:24:33

shock incredible story. What an amazing dp you have too

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 12:24:44

It took me nearly a year to love her, want to hold her, or want her anywhere near me.

getagoldtoof Wed 04-Apr-12 12:25:17

How did you come to terms with suddenly having a child - I cannot get to grips with how you could manage this. I still felt shocked after knowing for 9 months!

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 12:25:46

Note I did, not because I wanted to but because I felt I had to.

AFuckingKnackeredWoman Wed 04-Apr-12 12:26:55

I cant imagine the shock! I knew and was still floored by ds1's arrival

nickelhasababy Wed 04-Apr-12 12:29:14

that made me cry.

thanks for sharing it.
I wonder if some of your other "hangovers" were to do with the pregnancy.

How did you cope in that year?
do you think you had PND or PTSD?
(don't answer if you don't want to)

covermeup Wed 04-Apr-12 12:32:40

Wow that is shocking. What an amazing story! And of course what a wonderful DP you have smile

I have read your story before, and it's totally amazing to read it again. Thanks for sharing! The human body is incredible and wondrous isn't it (both yours and your DD's)???

BerryMenlove Wed 04-Apr-12 12:35:11

I'm not surprised you felt like you were dying with full blown contractions, not realising what they were.

spiderlight Wed 04-Apr-12 12:36:21

Wow - amazing, and thank heavens your DP arrived when he did! My mum didn't know she was pregnant until 6 weeks before I was born (they'd tried unsuccessfully for 14 years, she was 46 and her GP had told her I was the menopause hmm ).

IAmBooyhoo Wed 04-Apr-12 12:38:27

how long ago was it SB?

i think a huge part of my PND was to do with the fact that ds2 was very much unplanned and i got pregnant with him immediately at the start of the relationship. i cannot imagine how difficult it would be not having those 8/9months to prepare for the idea.

LadyBeagleEyes Wed 04-Apr-12 12:39:01

I've read this before too Stranded.
It's an amazing story, and it sounds like you're an amazing mum too.
How utterly life changing it must have been.

ovaltine Wed 04-Apr-12 12:40:35

bloody hell! Thats just mental. Did DP bring up DD for the first year? I would still be tripping out about it, found it hard to believe i gave birth and had an actual baby and had 8 months to get used to the idea first. How old is DD now?

How terrifying for you and your DP and how brave the both of you were.

MadamFolly Wed 04-Apr-12 12:47:29

Wow, thats mad, I don't know how your or your DP coped, does her Biodad see her at all?

hackmum Wed 04-Apr-12 12:47:46

I did read the story when you posted it on a thread about women not realising they were pregnant, but enjoyed it even more this time. Especially "FUCK IT'S THE TOP OF A HEAD!!"

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 12:48:46

Well I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep her for the first few days, the first thing she would have heard me say is 'get that thing away from me' but after my mum persuaded me I decided to keep her, and I am SO glad i did now.

Because we were in halls, I had to move out and live with my nan (about 30minute drive away) but I still saw DP on weekends and on odd days he wasn't in uni or working. I had to take a 9month break from studying to get my head around stuff.

It still sometimes feels weird saying 'that's my daughter' but sometimes you have to take the bull by the horns and do what you have to do.

Massive PND and PTSD, it took me a long time to get over it. And I still feel totally robbed of my pregnancy and get upset when thinking that I have no scan pictures or anything sad It took over a year to pull myself out of PND, and again it was DP that helped me through that.

DD has just turned 2 years old!

BusinessTrills Wed 04-Apr-12 12:50:02

I think you should get this moved to a topic that doesn't get deleted (Childbirth?) and bookmark it so you can just link people to it whenever it comes up.

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 12:50:41

Yes I rang XP from the hospital at about 10.30pm, he thought I was playing some sick joke hmm He never came to see her though at hospital, I was in over the weekend and he never came. His mum did but he didn't bother.

He has seen her every other weekend since she was 3 weeks old and has paid HA! CSA since she was 9 months old

Lulumama Wed 04-Apr-12 12:50:43

wow ! your DP is a prince amongst men ! WHat a roller coaster for you and for DD. glad things are good now

Calamityboo Wed 04-Apr-12 12:54:23

Omg shock stranded you are one brave lady, that really is amazing, your dp is amazing too. Well done. You must be so proud of yourself!

Faverolles Wed 04-Apr-12 12:54:43

If/when you have more dc (I've read before that you'd like more, so I hope this isn't insensitive to say!) do you think you wouldn't be visibly pregnant?
Were you ever given a reason for not looking pregnant?

(again, ignore if you don't want to answer it!)
I've read your story before, and seen your photos. Thankyou for writing it again - it's amazing smile

BooMagoo Wed 04-Apr-12 12:55:19

That's an amazing story,especially as you were a size 10!
I didn't find out that I was pregnant until I was in my third month with DS2. Oddly enough,I was being fitted for a bridesmaids dress (outing myself as below par in looks) and had put on 3 inches.

nobutyeahbut Wed 04-Apr-12 12:55:45

Stranded i have commented before on what a wonderful sounding man your dp is and that was before knowing this.

He sounds like an angel and you are all very very lucky to have each other.

OMG! shock that is amazing. Can I ask a few questions, please? <nosey old bag>

How old is DD now?
Will you tell her about this when she's old enough?
Have you managed to carry on with your studies?

Also, what does "back to back" mean?

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 12:59:29

Boo I am a size 10 NOW, I was a size 6/8then, I have the pair of jeans I was wearing (comfortably) on the Thursday, and I cant get them half way up my legs now <sob>

Apparently my placenta was weird (not sure how) which meant she was lying up my back opposed to sideways? Also I did/do cheerleading, which was obviously very intensive exercise and I had a 6pack, which I can still feel under my layer of flab so that was probably holding her in too.

I want LOTS more at least 4 children, though I think that is because I am craving a pregnancy more than another baby IYSWIM

Snowboarder Wed 04-Apr-12 13:01:04

Wow Stranded , that is quite possibly THE most amazing story I have ever heard. You must be an incredibly strong person (your DP too) to have coped with that. Thanks for sharing! smile

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 13:01:41

Claire DD is 2, just. Yes I have just got my HND distinction thanks for asking and have another year before I get my full degree. And if DD asks then yes I will tell he, or I might use it as an example that you can still do whatever you want to even if things seem complicated.

Doyouthinktheysaurus Wed 04-Apr-12 13:02:26

OMG that's an amazing story.

And your dd is still only 2, you must still be coming to terms with it all!

Moved me to tears too and I'm far too old and post childbirth stuff to cry at birth stories anymoregrin

Your DH sounds like a star op, I hope you all have a wonderful life together.

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 13:04:19

Your DH sounds like a star op, I hope you all have a wonderful life together He is but lets keep that quiet, we don't want it going to his head grin

BooMagoo Wed 04-Apr-12 13:04:24

Wow! Your DP sounds exceptional too. A gem.

Amazing Stranded. You're an inspiration! Seriously impressed by the whole thing!

scottishmummy Wed 04-Apr-12 13:06:00

that's a remarkable story
and a remarkable man
lump in throat reading "is it breathing"...."no it's blue"

I find birth stories so dull and never read them but this one I was drawn to and so glad I read.
Truly amazing and I also had a tear brought to my eye. Your dd will love telling people when she is older, celebrate it as a fantastic entrance to the world.

AwkwardMary Wed 04-Apr-12 13:09:18

It's very amazing....I bellieve you. I had no idea I was pregnant with my DD until I was 6 months gone. I was very, very thin at the time and very fit....I already had extremely random periods and so thought nothing of missing them. I was so shocked when I found out. I went for a scan and when I saw her there I cried and cried...I felt so worried...I had been in a play for a good portion of the pregnancy and had worn a massive 18th century dress with corset and layers of petticoats. When I had a fainting fit one day in rehearsal I thought it was the corset! My DD was born fine at 9llb by c section...I have the pelvis of a male in its width. Even a small baby couldn';t be born naturally.

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 13:10:02

back to back means she was facing upwards when she was born. So she was spine to spine, babies are meant to come out the other way up.

I wouldn't be 'impressed' by it, really. Shocked but nothing that I've done is any more impressive than anyone who would have known. I just did what anyone else would have done.

I do feel really bad though that I didn't really hold or cuddle her when she was a baby, which is why I think she doesn't like cuddles now sad

ScrambledSmegs Wed 04-Apr-12 13:10:20

Bloody hell! You must have been in shock for ages! Such an amazing story.

I do think you're pretty fantastic for keeping a baby that you had no idea you were pregnant with. It must have been the most traumatic experience of your life, and the urge to run away as far as possible would have been overwhelming for me. And it goes without saying that your DP is a star too.

Your DD is gorgeous by the way (sneaky look at profile photos, sorry!), must get it from you!

LulaPalooza Wed 04-Apr-12 13:11:24

Wow, that's an amazing story and thanks for sharing, stranded.

I had a ruptured EP last year and didn't even know or suspect that I was pregnant until it ruptured and I ended up in hospital. I had had no real signs or symptoms and had two normal periods at exactly the right time. I was always slightly suspicious of women with stories like yours, but I now fully understand and appreciate how easily it can happen.

So glad to hear that you and DD are now bonded and happy, and your DP sounds an absolute star and a half.

Onwards and upwards for you x

VeniVidiVisa Wed 04-Apr-12 13:11:32

Thankyou for sharing your story SB. I've known people question whether it is possible to "not know" you are pregnant until the baby is born but I am familiar (through work) with another couple of cases. As it happens, they were also young, very slim students who put some of the side effects of pregnancy down to their lifestyle.

Thank goodness (and, of course, your DP) that you & your dd got through the birth safely. I am not surprised that it took your mind longer to catch up with the reality though.

ScrambledSmegs Wed 04-Apr-12 13:12:42

PS My DD (precisely 2 as well) hates cuddles, and she got loads when in her first year! I think it's to do with being an independant little thing, nothing to do with you. Don't worry.

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 13:14:50

photos of me 'pregnant' if anyone is interested smile

scottishmummy Wed 04-Apr-12 13:15:02

my mum didn't know pg with me until painful and push
I've worked a&e when women have came in labour no idea pg, youngest was 15yo and terrified

I knew I was pg from the off
felt different, nausea, just knew

so I grew up hearing mum recount story if having me

youarenotbeingserious Wed 04-Apr-12 13:16:45

Wow amazing story. I have often heard people say 'you really did not know you were pregnant?' to an old friend.

She didn't, same senario to you but working as an entertainer - lifestyle etc the same. She was about to be taken into surgery for appendectomy when the head appeared.

Sadly she couldn't bong with her DS and when he was 2yo moved to the UK leaving him with her parents. So you should be extra proud of yourself for learning to love your DD. You have been through a lot and come out the other side.

nickelhasababy Wed 04-Apr-12 13:17:19

actually, knowing that you're pg in those photos, you can see it.
your waist at the front is rounded and goes through your waist rather than stopping at it.

i know i can't tell you're pg! i just mean i recognize the shape change.

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 13:20:25

I look at them and think 'I can see a belly' but I have chosen the photos that I look the most pregnant. And with IBS I always have frontward bloating on and off. I still get it now, which puts the shitters up me I tell yo!

Bit of a personal question, but didn't you notice your boobs changing (e.g. areolas getting bigger / darker?)

CointreauVersial Wed 04-Apr-12 13:22:34

Wow, what a story. What a shock.

I have to say, I thought women who didn't realise they were pregnant until delivery were either in denial, very young and naive, or extremely overweight - you are clearly none of those!

My friend's baby was delivered on the bathroom floor by her DH because she didn't know she was in labour - I found that hard to believe (lucky woman!) but at least she knew she was pg.

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 13:22:35

Nope, nothing. No leakage, no change.

DP made me go for a pregnancy test when I was about 8months because I demanded ice cream at 9pm on a night it was snowing hmm but the bugger walked to the shop for me and got some blush Was negative though.

nickelhasababy Wed 04-Apr-12 13:22:43

claire - my boobs got slightly bigger, but my areolae didn't change at all.

Kayzr Wed 04-Apr-12 13:23:06

Stranded, no matter how many times I read this it always amazes me.

cutegorilla Wed 04-Apr-12 13:24:08

Wow that's some story! I can't even begin to imagine how traumatic and shocking that must have been for you sad. Your DP does sound like a diamond though smile, and it sounds like you've done amazingly well getting back to your studies smile.

I do feel really bad though that I didn't really hold or cuddle her when she was a baby, which is why I think she doesn't like cuddles now

My babies were lavished with cuddles but by about 8 months all three became far more interested in playing than cuddling. They will let me cuddle them but rarely seek out a cuddle apart from at bedtime (the older 2, the baby I sneakily cuddle while he's asleep and not fighting to get down and play). Please don't worry about that.

LaVitaBellissima Wed 04-Apr-12 13:24:08

Wow what a story! In the early days of breast feeding, I used to be addicted to an American programme about unknown pregnancies, I think it was aptly named "I didn't know I was pregnant" grin
Your DP is a star thanks

OMG so you POAS @ 8 months and got a negative? How come?

BooMagoo Wed 04-Apr-12 13:25:36

I wonder if a test would have shown positive with a boy? Male hormones?

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 13:26:42

When you are so far through your pregnancy your hormones plateau and tests are pointless. I think a HCP told me at about 6 months you are more likely to get a -ive test than a +ive.

BooMagoo Wed 04-Apr-12 13:28:26

Learning as we go,here smile

Stranded was there any kind of support group to help you in that first year, you know, other mums who had gone through the same thing?

BertieBotts Wed 04-Apr-12 13:32:11

HCG tails off after 12 weeks or so, you can only get a positive pregnancy test in the first trimester.

It's an incredible story. Were you on MN before? (Guessing not!) Just wondered if you posted anything about it at the time?

UnChartered Wed 04-Apr-12 13:32:18

also, if you're taking the contraceptive pill whilst pregnant, that messes up your test result too

how do i know?

another 7monther here!

maras2 Wed 04-Apr-12 13:32:44

Welling up here Stranded.Lovely story.All credit to you and DH. Mx.

FriggFRIGG Wed 04-Apr-12 13:33:21

shock those,just,wow...

You are amazing.

No wonder you thought you were dying,I did,and I knew I was in labour!

Calamityboo Wed 04-Apr-12 13:33:49

I knew about the hormones as we tried to play an April fool on a friends DH and I was asked to POAS (7mth pg at the time) I was quite shocked to get a negative!! I have had a real good nosey quick glance at your pics, I am not surprised you did not realise shock You are so brave! Your DD will not be against cuddles because of what happened, my ds never wanted cuddles as a baby, I thought there was something wrong, then he had a phase of loving a cuddle, now, he is 2.6, not so much again!

BarryStar Wed 04-Apr-12 13:35:46

Thanks for telling that story, I had heard talk of it before, but hadn't read it.

What did your parents say when they heard? Had you been seeing them regularly in your pregnancy.

It must have been such a huge shock - I think it would have taken me far more than a year to get over it, so hats off to you (and your wonderful dp).

Stranded, you are amazing smile

Didn't quite get to 9 months, but did only find out I was pregnant at about 16 weeks

I had awful suspected listeria when about 7 weeks and the GP told me I could expect to feel dizzy and sick for months...and I did

Vividly remember going for what I thought was my 12 week scan to be told I was was 21 weeks

Did shock a lot and then panicked about having spent the non listeria weeks happily boozing and smoking

DD is small for her age and I have awful guilt that that had something to do with it.

I had a friend when I was about 17 who did not know she was pregnant until 5 months and I used to be very hmm about how she could not have known

More fool me smile

Pootles2010 Wed 04-Apr-12 13:36:16

Amazing story but I'd think twice about linking to your facebook profile on here. But yes, you and your dp are both amazing - your dd is very lucky.

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 13:36:55

I miss that body sad It'll never come back now <sob>

Faverolles Wed 04-Apr-12 13:38:56

I'm sure you've answered this before, but did you feel baby movements?

Hobs Wed 04-Apr-12 13:39:18

Wow. That's amazing. You and your DP are fabulous!

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 13:39:31

Pootles, I am out and proud on here. I have nothing to hide and gave up trying to be incognito a long time ago

YoullLaughAboutItOneDay Wed 04-Apr-12 13:39:44

Wow OP, what an amazing story. You and your partner both sound amazing - for everything you have achieved since this must have rocked your world!

Please don't blame yourself re cuddles. My DD1 was held and cuddled all the time as a small baby (wouldn't be blooming put down!) and now, aged nearly 3, she isn't that fond of cuddles at all. For a long time she would push us away if we tried to hug her, and went through a phase of saying she was 'busy'. Just in the last month or so she has started to appreciate them more. It may well just be how your DD is.

tara0202 Wed 04-Apr-12 13:39:59

What an amazing story, I am 8 months pregnant now and the size of a house. You are very brave and your DD is so gorgeous. Can't imagine a much bigger shock than that!

BooMagoo Wed 04-Apr-12 13:40:09

Your body will come back as you have good basic muscle tone. Mine did. Don't sob!

CrockoDuck Wed 04-Apr-12 13:42:03


And you look to be very fair skinned, which is why you didn't get that brown line going down your tummy which so many women (75%?) get. I didn't either - although I was mahoosive with my boy.

CroissantNeuf Wed 04-Apr-12 13:42:39

What an amazing story! Fascinating too.

Can I ask Stranded, what was your body/stomach like straight after you gave birth?

Its just that with visibly, obviously pregnant stomachs that have been stretched to humongous sizes (or was that just me? wink) once the baby has been born it goes from solid to flabby, loose rolls IYSWIM. As yours had changed so minimally through the 9 months did it look much different after?

bleedingheart Wed 04-Apr-12 13:43:45

What an amazing story, gave me a a shiver! Thank goodness your DP popped 'round when he did! I can't imagine the shock for both of you!

CroissantNeuf Wed 04-Apr-12 13:46:58

Sorry, just thought of another question....did you ever have problems bending forward to do things?

Its just that I reached a point midway through pregnancy where the bump/baby makes it difficult or uncomfortable to bend over eg. to tie shoelaces.

Did you get any restrictions like that or was your DD lying in such a way that you didn't feel a thing?

Sorry -you don't have to answer these questions its just so fascinating how the human body does random things like this. smile

Doyouthinktheysaurus Wed 04-Apr-12 13:47:02

StrandedBear my ds1 was a very cuddled baby who now scarpers whenever I come anywhere near him for a hug. He hates it!

DS2 who was less cuddled as I really struggled through his first year is cuddly as a cuddly thing!

There is no rhyme or reason, children are all different.....

bemybebe Wed 04-Apr-12 13:50:10

Wow, what a story. If I read it somewhere else, I would not believe it because my body changed so much with every pg, i could not miss have it (nausea alone is enough but also much MUCH bigger boobs B=>DD and of course the baby kicking...)

Don't worry about the body, I was also 6/8 and doing Pilates for a few years and it is amazing how some of the muscles spring back after a long break. <hopes they will spring back after the current pg just as before>

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 13:50:22

No problems bending forward. I was at cheer training the Monday previously jumping around, touching my toes, being thrown around. I still shudder when I think of that, what if they had dropped me or I had fallen?

My stomach was a little loose, my pac wasn't visable anymore but I was still in same clothes etc

bemybebe Wed 04-Apr-12 13:51:04

sorry for the typos blush

Thanks so much for posting this (and the link to your pregnant pictures!). I've seen your story mentioned on other threads numerous times and have wondered... now I know!

CroissantNeuf Wed 04-Apr-12 13:59:33

shock at Cheerleading the week before when most of us would be struggling to get out of an armchair at that stage grin.

RobinSparkles Wed 04-Apr-12 13:59:34

I have read your story before and still find it amazing!

I can't imagine what a shock it must have been to suddenly find yourself giving birth, not knowing that you were pregnant and then having to take care of a baby that you had no plan for.

You've done amazingly.

FWIW, I had PND with my DD1 (who was planned and we'd known for 9 months that she was going to arrive) and hardly cuddled her either so she wasn't particularly cuddly as a toddler and like you I felt that it was my fault. She changed when she was three and started to demand them all the time to the point where it got annoying so your DD will probably change. Don't beat yourself up about it! My DD1 is now a very cuddly almost 5 year old!

nickelhasababy Wed 04-Apr-12 14:03:03

I was still bellydancing until my due date. grin

Mirage Wed 04-Apr-12 14:08:41

Amazing story and what a lovely DP you have.

A similar thing happened to my cousin's friend.She was a showjumper and in London for a competition when she had severe stomach pains.Cousin was jokingly blaming it on the amount of Mars Bars her friend had eaten on the trip down,but another team member was a nurse and insisted on calling an ambulance.Friend was totally shocked to be told she was in labour and was still denying it as her dd was born.The doctors said that the reason she had no bump was because of her super strong stomach muscles from all the riding she did-she was jumping huge fences the day before her dd was born.

The cousin in this story got to 4 months pregnant without realizing-she was riding,running and working on the farm and couldn't work out why she felt so rotten-she had no bump either.

Came back to this thread and checked out your pregnancy photos--wow! I'm sat here 6 days overdue with DC2 and I was feeling not too huge until I looked at your pics! wink grin

Your DD is gorgeous, too. My DD was also born back to back, which was a surprise to everyone, but I had had pain relief of G&A and a shot of meptid a few hours before she was born. So that's even more amazing that you had no pain relief at all.

I have a colleague who discovered she was pregnant at about 8 months. She also suffers with IBS (me, too), had a titchy baby who was tucked up her back and a pretty heavy going lifestyle. Weirdly once she found out she was pg she suddenly gained a load of pregnancy weight and went from looking very slightly bloated to quite obviously pregnant. Her midwife speculated it was all mind over matter.

ABigGirlDoneItAndRanAway Wed 04-Apr-12 14:18:53

Wow that's amazing, I can totally see why you didn't realise you were pregnant with that figure, a little bit of weight gain is normal in the first year of university, I know I put on loads due to living on booze and junk food. Has anyone told you that in your profile pic with the santa hat you are a dead ringer for Becky from coronation street?

GoGoBananas Wed 04-Apr-12 14:29:56

I can't conceive how you get your head round it.

I played tennis with a good friend one Thursday. She was a slim, athletic size 8/10. 3 days later she had a 7lb baby with no idea at all she was pregnant. She was happily married, even thinking about trying for a baby. She was in serious shock and didn't speak apart from to stutter '..a.... baby....' for days.

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 14:33:49

No, noone has ever said that, thanks... I think.. grin

I was the same Go DD had no name for days. I very nearly called her Pixie because that is what the nurses who were looking after her for me were calling her. she had a lucky escape

bemybebe Wed 04-Apr-12 14:45:04

stranded can you put some of this pics on your profile? i cannot see the fb (no account or it is a restricted access) and i am rather nosey

did you not put any weights at all? (i am 30 weeks and the same weight as pre-pg, so i can easily believe it)

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 14:45:32

I'll try bemy smile

bemybebe Wed 04-Apr-12 14:46:21


StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 14:50:15

Done grin I think

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 14:51:26

They don't seem to have any captions hmm

The cavegirl - 4 months
the tutu - 5 months
the geek - 8 months
the neon - 2 days before birth

I have a friend who didn't realise she was pregnant until around 3/4 of the way through the pregnancy. PCOS meant very irratic periods so not having one 'for a while' (she kinda lost track) didn't mean anything. Virtually no weight gain, no sickness/exhaustion etc, it was only when she was feeling odd movements that she went to the dr - convinced it was something awful like cancer. Quite the shock to find out she was a couple of months shy of delivering her baby!

So, this stuff to me isn't outside the realms of possibility - you know what does strike me as amazing in all this? Your DP. What a man!

bemybebe Wed 04-Apr-12 15:03:39

haha, sb you look stunning on those grin
i started 'showing' at 20-22 weeks with dd1 and, ahem, at 10wks (or earlier hmm) with dd2.
well, if i can put your mind at rest for a bit, i was absolutely freaking out with dd1 throughout the pg because she was conceived after years and years of trying that something will be wrong (and something did go wrong, but this is another story)
i was freaking out x1000 with dd2 (still i am), but everything is going well - touch wood
i cannot wait for this pg to be over and although i am enjoying bits of it (baby kicking), dh cuddling us both etc, i have told him on a many bad days that i just want to be put into induced coma and be woken up in 8 months time for the birth - it was that stressful for me. sad

HateBeingCantDoUpMyJeans Wed 04-Apr-12 15:03:58

Fuck me how have I never heard this story before confused


ThePathanKhansWitch Wed 04-Apr-12 15:08:15

Stranded OMG, you are amazing, I'm too shocked to write anything else at the moment, except your DD is darling.

RobinSparkles Wed 04-Apr-12 15:12:02

You remind me of Ellie Goulding, Stranded! smile

LaVitaBellissima Wed 04-Apr-12 15:13:45

What did all your friends and family say?

You most definitely do not look at all pregnant in the photo's!

Pinot Wed 04-Apr-12 15:20:08

Fuck me sideways.


Your DD was meant to be here, you know. For a reason <<goes all woo on you>>

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 15:23:36

Friends again thought it was a joke, until they saw status's/congrats/photos on my wall. Even when I told them in person they were hmm about it.

My mum and dad, I don't know I didn't ring them, the midwife did. It took her over 5 minutes to convince my mum that 1) it was actually me and 2) that I had had a live baby. My mum and dad arrived at hospital the next evening after being called in the morning with EVERYTHING, it looked like they had raided mothercare and toysrus, cot, clothes, travel system, nappies, wipes, bath everything I shudder to think how much it all cost

DP's parents, he went home and told them. His mum cried, they are excellent grandparents and dote on DD smile

It did all work out for the best in the end really!

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 15:25:35

Thank you Robin blush

Pinot that has made me giggle. I love the expression 'fuck me sideways' but that seems to be what got me in this position in the first place grin I've had all that woo shite said to me before, I'd like to think she is as stubborn as me and nothing was going to stop her being here.

sweetandtenderhooligan Wed 04-Apr-12 15:29:34

Wow Stranded. Amazing story. Im welling up a bit here. Incredible.

Can I ask you, how did your parents react when you phoned to tell them?

Well done for getting through it Stranded. That first year must've been surreal.

sweetandtenderhooligan Wed 04-Apr-12 15:32:15

oops x post!

Pinot Wed 04-Apr-12 15:35:13

Yep I think she was gonna be born whether you liked it or not!! I think the same about my DS2. I bled all the way through the pregnancy, in and out of hospital, but he came out healthy - all blue eyes and ginger hair, blinking at me as if to say "well hello there mother dear". and he's a stubborn mule now just like me

Luffly smile smile

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 15:37:30

Surreal yes, like a nightmare dream. It helped that she was a VERY easy baby, exactly 4 hours between feeds, slept through at 8weeks. God knows how I would have coped with a non-sleeping velro baby!

I would like to say though to anyone reading this that has PND, there is an end to it, it might take a very long time and a lot of tears and talking but you will come out the end of it. And feeling the way you do does not make you a bad person smile It took me a very long time to work that out.

LadyBeagleEyes Wed 04-Apr-12 15:57:03

I've just looked at your photos Stranded, you're very cute and look about 12.

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 16:00:22

I am, believe it or not 22. Looking more haggard the older DD gets. All of ^ ^ this is the main reason I get so annoyed when posters say are you young in a condescending way. It blows my fuse!

MadamFolly Wed 04-Apr-12 16:00:44


Pinot Wed 04-Apr-12 16:02:06

<fixes fuse>

Hobs Wed 04-Apr-12 16:07:33

Stranded I've read it again, and I'm no less 'wow' than the first time. I've been diagnosed with ptsd and pnd after having my DS, and it feels like it's never going to end. Thanks for telling me it does smile

You're amazing. You know that, don't you?

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 16:16:44

Hobs it will end, it does feel that way but trust me when I say you will come through it smile thank you I don't really think I am and that anyone else would have done the same in my position

Yeah, but, stranded we can't know for sure what other people would do. We can't know for sure how we ourselves would react... what is known, however, is how you've taken it all on the chin, so to speak, have come out the other side with a beautiful little girl and now have the tenacity to offer hope to others who may be struggling with some of the issues you endured (albeit they will have arrived at theirs from a different angle wink). That does make you a little bit special, acktully!

everlong Wed 04-Apr-12 16:45:06

Oh wow. Thank you for telling your story. So glad everything is working out for you. What a bloody shock!!! I can just imagine your dp's face when he saw your dds head.

Hobs Wed 04-Apr-12 16:51:26

It's the way you've coped with it stranded I can't say what I would have done if I'd had a baby in your circumstances in my 1st year at uni, but I do know I wouldn't have coped with it as well as you have.

I'd probably still be in the hospital 2 years later saying "a baby? What do you mean I've had a baby? .... Yes, I know what a baby is, but how the fuck did it happen?" etc etc, over and over again grin In fact, I do that sometimes now, and I knew BabyHobs was coming!!!!

Thanks stranded

BellaVita Wed 04-Apr-12 16:54:52

Amazing story.

You are very pretty Stranded!

TheNightIsDarkAndFullOfTerrors Wed 04-Apr-12 16:59:56

Wow, great story Stranded. Wonderful how you have coped with everything smile

My (very fit, petite, martial arts champion) nineteen yo cousin was playing netball one Sunday morning and gave birth to her unexpected DS by lunchtime. Her Dad delivered him in her bedroom after she complained of indigestion. It was really sweet because apparently he had delivered her when she was born.

5inthebed Wed 04-Apr-12 17:00:37

I love your birth story, not the first time I've heard it. It's amazing.

I worked with a girl who was off one day because she had had a baby, didn't even know she was pregnant. And another one, someone had a baby in the toilets at school, again never knew she was pregnant.

bronze Wed 04-Apr-12 17:02:57

I love your parents. I mean I don't know them but theirs were the actions of good parents

I find it easy to believe. I had dd at 27+ weeks and friends hadn't even realised I was pregnant. Now I know it wasn't the same as 40 weeks but I wasn't as toned as you and had torn my stomach muscles when I had ds2. So yes I find it very believeable and unbelievable at the same time, just because it's so amazing.
i am slightly jealous of the no symptons though. Not even any stretch marks after (hopes grin )

WhoremoaneeGrainger Wed 04-Apr-12 17:09:59

Amazing, Stranded. You are blooming amazing. So is your DP.

ohanotherone Wed 04-Apr-12 17:25:32

Oh that's lovely, you are lovely.

I met my dp when we were 18, when we were at uni, we often think what if we'd had a baby then, I'm 38 now and have a 6 month old. I would have the rest of your chiildren now and then you can carry on partying when you are 40ish.

LadyBeagleEyes Wed 04-Apr-12 17:29:29

What are you studying, Stranded?

Stranded - wow!

Will second that PND does end - it took me 18 months before I could bond with DD. She was cared for, clean, fed etc but she could have been someone else's child and then all of a sudden it fell into place.

JasperJohns Wed 04-Apr-12 17:41:32

Wow! Amazing story. I just can't imagine the shock and how you came to terms with it all.

I tend to think that when you hear of women not knowing they were pregnant, that they must have been really fat. This knocks that idea on the head!

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 17:46:22

Environmental science with geology. I wanted to do nuclear physics but didn't work hard enough at school

LetsKateWin Wed 04-Apr-12 18:10:19

I have read your story before, but I still love reading it, and it still makes me cry a little.

You're absolutely amazing and I can't imagine what it took to help you come to terms with everything.

As§others have said, I struggled with DD and she was totally planned and wanted for a squillion years.

Alambil Wed 04-Apr-12 18:18:40

bloody hell!

What an amazing woman, Stranded.

Your DD is gorgeous

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 18:22:04

DP has just told me that at one point he managed to push her head back in because the guy on the phone said 'put light pressure on the babies head' so he did and pop she went back in hmm

Swimminglikeaduck Wed 04-Apr-12 18:36:04

Wow. Just WOW. Thankyou for sharing.
My 2 year old, despite having all the kisses and cuddles from birth, now shouts at me when I enter the room " No kisses mummy". hmm Think your dd is just being 2. grin

LadyBeagleEyes Wed 04-Apr-12 19:05:59

I imagine you'll get a fab career from those subjects Stranded.
I was going to ask how you'd fit in the five children your'e planning on, but I imagine for someone like you, it'll be a walk in the park grin

birthdaygurl Wed 04-Apr-12 19:16:30

Wow, your story is amazing, as are you and your truley lovley DP. smile

Haha! So she crowned twice! Nice one, DP! hmm grin

Sorry if this has already been covered stranded, but what were your parents and familys reaction when they discovered you'd just randomly had a baby?

Ok nevermind I just read it grin what lovely parents you have!

formerdiva Wed 04-Apr-12 19:33:31

Amazing story <joins queue of people who got a bit weepy>.

If you ever get a chance to see it, Oprah once did a show on people exactly in your situation where they not only didn't know they were pregnant, they didn't even know they were in labour.

One was a nurse and (like you) a very slim woman. She'd been in a swimsuit that day at a friend's house, but started to feel ill on the journey home. Her friends pulled into a supermarket to get her some aspirin and she described suddenly feeling really Ill, before realising that there was a baby underneath the blanket.

Another lady was breastfeeding her baby on the bed (about 11 mo). Her husband went downstairs, and when he returned there was a new addition on the bed and a shell shocked mother.

Another went for some kind of gyno proceedure, and when the doctor got down to have a look he could see a head.

You should try and get a copy of the show if you can - you're joining a very exclusive club! Congratulations on adjusting to it all. Your DD's very lucky to have you and your DP.

ovaltine Wed 04-Apr-12 19:38:21

those pics are amazing. and i thought i hid my bump well ha ha ha.

ImperialBlether Wed 04-Apr-12 19:45:45

Would you think of your DP adopting your DD later, OP? He sounds just the sort of guy you want in your life.

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 19:46:19

grin I know, silly man! Best midwife ever though, and he wants to deliver our brood at home again too (if its safe etc) I am convinced that if is been in hospital I would have ended up with a section or forceps given she was clearly stressed (dead at birth) my labour was so long and she was back to back.

Its amazing that second time mothers don't know, though every pregnancy is different. I bet I get every bugger symptom next time hmm but I'd choose a terrible dollar coaster pregnancy over what happened to me, I genuinely wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 19:49:01

Imperial we want him to and he would want it more than anything but as xp sees her and is on her birth certificate we need his permission and there is no way on this earth he would say yes. He has even blocked DP having parental responsibility angry

SingingSands Wed 04-Apr-12 19:51:06

Oh wow. Just... wow! shock

That is an amazing story SB, from start to finish. The birth, your DP, your parents, his parents, your DD. You are all bloody fabulous! smile

And well done on gaining your distinction, after going through all that I think I would have shut myself in the cupboard under the stairs for 2 years!

Stranded have you thought about what if it ever happened again?

My sister heard of a woman who had 4 kids and suddenly had terrible pains, thought she was dying, couldn't walk etc, got her 8yo to ring an ambulance (phone in kitchen) and when he went back in the living room on the phone to the operater his mum had a baby.

I mean, surely after 4, even if you had no idea you were pregnant you would recognise labour pains? After 4 kids!

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 19:55:09

Spaghetti honestly I live in constant fear. I stopped the pill immediately and now have implant, if I get pregnant with this there is no bloody hope for contraception

No hope at all, if that fails you may aswell just cross your fingers! Your xp sounds like a bit of a jealous twat if I'm honest.

dogindisguise Wed 04-Apr-12 20:16:52

What an incredible birth story. Thank you for sharing it.
Did you not feel the baby move at all during the pregnancy?

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 20:20:43

Aye sounds about right.

No not that I noticed, looking back it was quite obvious but at the time any movement was followers by a bowel movement or wind.

cheesesarnie Wed 04-Apr-12 20:22:46

amazing! has it put you of having more?

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 20:25:42

Cheese we want lots more. Think of that programme 15kids and counting. That will be us!

GravyHadALumpyMashBaby Wed 04-Apr-12 20:31:32

Amazing, amazing, amazing! What an incredible little family you are! Thank you for sharing.

cheesesarnie Wed 04-Apr-12 20:38:23

grin if all pregnancies were like that i wouldnt blame you! how old is the suprise child now?

footflapper Wed 04-Apr-12 20:40:32

Amazing thanks
Don't forget to let us know when your family grows! xx

gemma4d Wed 04-Apr-12 20:45:21

Stranded ... I must confess I'm one of the cynics who rarely believes the "I didn't know" claimers; I was totally believing you until I read that your DP encouraged you to do a test at (I think) 8mo? Most women who confess to wanting ice-cream don't end up doing a preg test. Did he have suspicions at that point?

bagpuss Wed 04-Apr-12 20:49:55

That is an amazing story strandedbear. Your dp sounds brilliant, my dh couldn't even look when I was giving birth!

iliketea Wed 04-Apr-12 20:49:56

I have seen your story before but bloody hell OP!! I cannot even imagine how you coped - my dd was an absolute shock to my system, and she was very much planned and I knew I was pregnant from 5 weeks.

Also the no cuddles thing is typical toddler behaviour I reckon. My dd never wanted to be put down until she was about 6 months, wanted constant cuddles. Now at 2 1/2, I practically have to bribe her for an occasional hug!!

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 20:50:40

It was a few things, demanding ice cream and i can't believe I am about to admit this but I was peeing a lot more than normal and I accidentally peed on his bathroom floor

gemma4d Wed 04-Apr-12 20:53:22

LOL @ the pee-ing. Been there done that blush It's an either / or : baby OR bladder!

I have heard a bit of this before, I loved it then and I love it more now at least until you informed us that you wee'd on the bathroom floor grin

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 20:53:43

And I was moaning about putting half a stone on, incidentally DD was nearly 7lbs... But he demanded I do one

Inthepotty Wed 04-Apr-12 20:57:58

Bugger me Stranded, what a story. And what a fab DP!!

I didn't know I was PG until 7 months.

Similar, was horse rider previously and didn't change shape at all.

The human body is mental.

madammoose Wed 04-Apr-12 20:59:38

I can't say "perhaps I might be pregnant" would have crossed my mind in your situation, particularly if it wasn't even on my radar.

An amazing and frightening (for you) tale with a lovely ending. You haven't got scan pics, but your daughter has a truly special birth story and a fab, tenacious Mum.


puds11 Wed 04-Apr-12 21:09:32

oh goodness! stories like these strike fear in my heart! i had my DD young, and decided since then that i wasnt having any more, but im constantly freeking out that this might happen to me!
Your DP sounds freeking amazing, if that had been my DP i would have had to give birth whilst lying him down and getting him a glass of water grin
V jealous of your tiny prego tum, i looked like i was smuggling beach balls (still do).
I glad you managed to get past your PND and hope your course goes well smile

Stranded I hope you don't mind but is it OK if I ask MN Towers to stick this thread in Classics as it will go after a while and it is so incredibly interesting that it would be a shame to lose it.

<And that's coming from someone who never, ever reads birth stories and finds her own ones quite tedious>

StrandedBear Wed 04-Apr-12 21:42:17

Claire that is fine smile its not everyday you're nominated for classics blush I also dislike reading birth stories unless they are like mine wink


BooMagoo Wed 04-Apr-12 21:57:19

Going back a bit. I don't think that anyone is could ever be condescending of you,only in complete awe smile

ouryve Wed 04-Apr-12 23:14:00

Wow - had no idea I was in established labour with DS2 until he fell into the toilet, but that takes the biscuit!

StrandedBear Thu 05-Apr-12 15:26:02

Boo, I meant in general against younger people. I've had my fair share of 'looks' and utterances. The most shocking 'do you know who the dad is?' I was shock

LadyBeagleEyes Thu 05-Apr-12 20:55:14

I don't know anymore when the 'right' age is Stranded.
I had a pretty wild past, though unlike you, I didn't have a child to put me on the straight and narrow. I was 39 when I had ds and he's 16 now (you do the maths clever clogs grin.
But since I've been on MN apparently I'm the one that tuts at young mothers and looks at them in a funny way.
I think if we get on ageist threads I'll look out for you if you look out for me.

VickityBoo Thu 05-Apr-12 20:59:09

Oh I'm crying at this, then I am pregnant and hormonal.

I watch 'I didn't know I was pregnant' on Sky and it just completely amazes and fascinates me.

Tonksforthememories Thu 05-Apr-12 23:29:28

What an awesome story Stranded, your DD is adorable! Incidentally, did you go to UCLAN? Those pics look scarily like the halls i was in! grin

LadyBeagleEyes Fri 06-Apr-12 00:06:52

I'd also like to see this thread in classics.
I know it's been moved to childbirth which is good but I do feel it's not in quite the right place.

BornSicky Fri 06-Apr-12 21:07:52

you've made me sob like bastard!

I didn't know I was pregnant until I was over 6 months and went to the doctor thinking I had a serious problem with my stomach - I was thinking cancer or similar and just couldn't believe there was any chance I was pregnant. On the day I had my scan, I got in my car clutching the picture of my baby's face (he was too big to fit all of him in the scan) and drove 250 miles to show my parents. I've never been more scared in my whole life.

My little boy is gorgeous and my family just rallied round me and are incredible. I never managed to find the guy who got me pregnant and dread that chapter of my life where I will need to explain this to my son. But for now, I just know how amazing my life is with my baby boy in it and can't believe how lucky I am to have him.

Congrats to you stranded, I can't even begin to fathom just how much more terrifying it must have been to get into labour without knowing.

splashymcsplash Mon 14-May-12 16:41:21

I just saw this thread after you linked to it in the other thread. I've seen bits of your story before, but it is amazing to see it all.

Your dd is absolutely adorable.

MardyBra Mon 14-May-12 16:53:50

Thanks for the bump. I love this thread. Another belated vote for classics.

splashymcsplash Mon 14-May-12 16:57:32

So do I, it's great to read a story with such a happy ending. strandedbear do you mind me asking how much xp is involved in dd's life? Does he pay CSA?

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