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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

You would know if you were pregnant SURELY?

170 replies

Gwladgwlad · 05/10/2014 21:31

Heard one of those stories today- friend of a friend out on a friday night as normal, next day gets tummy pains & has a baby! No bump, no symptoms, out of the blue!?
SURELY you would suspect? Both my dc's were lively in my tummy, my belly moved a lot and I felt them constantly. Its not like having bad wind or something.
SURELY you would know!? Suspect things werent as per normal!
Aibu - it just leaves me amazed!!

OP posts:

MrsCakesPrecognition · 05/10/2014 21:45

I have heard of several instances where the woman is a little older, family already complete, assumes she is menopausal (erratic periods, weight gain, hormonal, tired) only to discuss fp

MrsCakesPrecognition · 05/10/2014 21:47

Aggh hate typing on tablets...
Only to discover late in the pregnancy her symptoms were a baby.

IdrisElbaIsMyHusband · 05/10/2014 21:48

I didn't find out I was pregnant till I was 28weeks,I had the implant in so it just didn't enter my head that I could be

landrover · 05/10/2014 21:48

I actually don't believe that a woman doesn't know, maybe subconsciously they pretend? But no, I don't believe in the giving birth threads and they didn't know it, sorry. Im sure they have their reasons for the denial!

EBearhug · 05/10/2014 21:48

I can imagine that if you don't have very regular periods, or they're prone to stopping when you're stressed, and if you're overweight or your weight fluctuates, then you might just not realise - if I'd got pregnant round the time my father was dieing, for example (and I did sleep around a bit then,) - I lot a lot of weight quickly through stress. I wouldn't have thought much about putting it on - just one more thing I wasn't in control of. And feeling sick and so on - my sleep was all over the place, I felt awful most days. And I'm generally a pretty organised sort of person - if you lead an erratic sort of life anyway, you might not even notice your period is late, and not everyone gets much in the way of symptoms.

I can easily imagine that if you've got a lot of other stuff going on in your life, you could easily put any symptoms down to stress or whatever, and just not know.

landrover · 05/10/2014 21:51

Sorry, meant to say, I don't believe the stories where women actually give birth and say they didn't know! Obviously sometimes you can realise later, but to actually go in labour and not know? really?

BecauseIsaidS0 · 05/10/2014 21:51

My friend, who was on the pill, kept having "periods" and when she went to her GP because she wasn't feeling very well she found out she was five months gone! She had no bump whatsoever.

bassingtonffrench · 05/10/2014 21:51

I interviewed some vulnerable new mothers as part of a work project once. Quite a few of them said they didn't know they were pregnant until x months and/or they didn't know they were in labour until baby came out. I absolutely believed them but I also think that they were in denial about the pregnancy and this was driving their experiences. Some were teenagers.

landrover · 05/10/2014 21:52

Totally agree bassington, thats what my thought are x

tethersend · 05/10/2014 21:54

I was very sceptical until it happened to my best friend's sister. She even went paintballing a few days before giving birth.

MegMogandOwlToo · 05/10/2014 21:55

I feel quite sad that people are saying that there is no way that some

LiquidCosh · 05/10/2014 21:58

I actually agree with landrover I don't think it is possible to not feel different when you are pregnant. The movements, the bump, the enlarged veiny breasts, the nausea etc. Not noticing until late in the pregnancy I can sort of get as bumps can be small and barely noticeable in certain clothes but when the actual person is naked and knows their own body they MUST know, but for whatever reason are in denial.

Calaveras · 05/10/2014 22:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WD41 · 05/10/2014 22:04

I just don't buy it, sorry. No sickness, no tiredness, no cravings, no aversions, no movements, no pelvic pain AND no bump? I think these women must be in denial.

GoodboyBindleFeatherstone · 05/10/2014 22:06

My mum didn't know she was expecting my brother. She thought she might be very early on, but a doctor insisted that she wasn't. Back then, if a doctor said you weren't you didn't question it. She dismissed any movements she felt as the doctor had told her she wasn't pregnant.
So not in denial, but totally believing that the doctor knew best.

1970s btw.

SaucyJack · 05/10/2014 22:07

I don't believe it either- I think denial must be a massive part of it.

Being overweight isn't a contributing factor either really. Fat is soft and squished down when you lie on your front unlike a baby.

Serenitysutton · 05/10/2014 22:08

I think women in this situation know but are in complete denial. It's amazing what the body/ mind can hide whilst in denial. It's very powerful. She has probably convinced herself she didn't know

Noggie · 05/10/2014 22:10

I know a doctor who had a baby whilst on holiday having had no clue she was pregnant. She has a couple of older kids. I'm amazed- as is she and her family!

GoodboyBindleFeatherstone · 05/10/2014 22:11

I know it's probably a x-post, but believing a doctor is not the same as being in denial.

gordyslovesheep · 05/10/2014 22:13

YABU I know two women this happened to

houseisfallingdown · 05/10/2014 22:14

Happened to a friend. She didn't know until she was in labour. Was as nothing to do with being ' in denial'. She genuinely had no idea and her sister was pregnant at the same time so pregnancy was being talked about a lot.

RevoltingPeasant · 05/10/2014 22:15

Hmm I dunno. I am 22+6 now and have had many symptoms, but I can imagine putting them down to something else if I didn't know.

Eg, I had dreadful sickness but when it started it didn't feel like I expected MS to feel. I thought it would feel like nausea, not horrid uncontrollable vomiting! I even posted a thread on here when I was 6w because I had an antenatal appt and thought I might have D+V and was wondering if I shouldn't go to hospital with a bug.

So tbh, I can imagine just thinking I'd had an awful long drawn out tummy bug and putting fatigue, swollen tummy etc down to that.

As for movements, they also don't feel like I thought they would. They feel to me like muscle spasms and I might put that down to further gastric disturbances.

EBearhug · 05/10/2014 22:16

Being overweight isn't a contributing factor either really. Fat is soft and squished down when you lie on your front unlike a baby.

Did you know that the first time you were pregnant? There are lots of people who don't know everything about pregnancy, so might not recognise some of the symptoms.

WD41 · 05/10/2014 22:17

It always happened to a friend, never to "me"

Funny that

iwouldgoouttonight · 05/10/2014 22:18

I didn't have any symptoms, no sickness, etc and I didn't really feel either of mine move much, I was quite envious of who could see the shape of a foot or whatever moving across their belly. Also I have such irregular periods I wouldn't notice of I didn't have one for a few months. So I can understand how people could not know. I had a massive bump so, even though I didn't really have any other signs, I definitely knew.

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