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AIBU?

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Original poster

To feel sorry for this woman?

297 replies

Mammanat222 · 05/10/2014 20:01

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2781377/BREAKING-NEWS-Internet-troll-targeted-McCanns-dead-hotel-room-days-fleeing-home.html

OK so her hobby of internet trolling (and her subjects!!) was a bit dodgy BUT I cannot help to feel quite sorry for how she was treated??

AIBU

OP posts:
Mumtums · 05/10/2014 21:17

'It's not worth the kind of backlash..'

This was a bully of the highest order, targeting parents who have already been through utter devastation and beyond. She deserved to be confronted over what she did!

temporaryusername · 05/10/2014 21:20

She deserved to be confronted over what she did!

But Mumtums are you not worried that people could be confronted or targeted when the media have actually got the wrong person? Do you not think that while justice should have been carried out, we need laws and a legal system rather than vigilante media organisations to carry it out?

I seriously doubt this is an outcome that the McCanns would have wanted.

hormonalandneedingcheese · 05/10/2014 21:21

temporaryusername Yes, I agree it should have been left to the Police, this sort of thing should purely in case of mistaken identity and to avoid witchhunts. I do believe that if people are found to be guilty then it should be reported after though and people then have to deal with their actions.

I still feel sorry for her family but not for her though. We have no idea if the McCann's were her only target for trolling, who knows how many lives she- like other trolls- could have damaged.

Sky acting as a witchhunt is bad, it should be down to the police but Sky or anyone else naming afterwards is right.

JohnFarleysRuskin · 05/10/2014 21:22

I don't know what to think.

It reminds me a little of the case with the poor nurse who answered the phone to the Australians and then killed herself, only she didn't do anything wrong of course.

In this case, this woman is an outright bully - but not a very robust one at that - but then we have the media acting as a bully. I thought the media were meant to be "self-regulating". It seems both in this, and the Brooke penis-case, they are more concerned about making news than reporting it. That's not a good thing.

perfectstorm · 05/10/2014 21:23

If someone breaks the law by posting something online, then it's going to be rape threats, or seriously horrible personal attacks. Why would I feel sorry for someone who thought they could allow their hidden spitefulness out to play without any chance of being identified, when they found they were wrong? I don't feel sorry for those trolls jailed for making rape threats, either.

Online venom on this scale is a form of abuse. The anonymity allows people a sense of power, because the victim hasn't the first idea who they are dealing with and will inevitably worry away at it. It's very different to the sort of bullying you see on MN sometimes (not that that is edifying, but it isn't maliciously targeting someone with the sole intent of causing harm - it's genuine, if overly invested, disagreement). It's a form of harassment and abuse.

I'm sorry anyone feels they have no option but to take their own life, but it seems to me that this woman basically liked being nasty to people, and only social pressures and the desire to be respected and liked stopped her. Online, those pressures were absent and her true self came out. I do feel sad she felt she had no options left, but plenty of people are hurt and humiliated by the media who haven't done much, if anything, wrong. She had. The media didn't make her post those things to a pair of parents suffering unimaginably. She chose to. She then couldn't bear the thought of people knowing about it.

The net is a lot less anonymous than people seem to think it is. And I don't think that is necessarily bad, either.

MidniteScribbler · 05/10/2014 21:24

I'm very uncomfortable with any trial by media. It is not the role of journalists to play judge and jury about every hint of a story they may find. This should have been dealt with by the legal system. Journaliststs just seem to have forgotten they are dealing with real people in their desperation for what counts as news these days.

perfectstorm · 05/10/2014 21:25

It reminds me a little of the case with the poor nurse who answered the phone to the Australians and then killed herself, only she didn't do anything wrong of course.

That's the sort of person I feel sorry for. And the McCanns, who were also harassed by the media. (And no, I'd never leave small kids alone - wouldn't leave my 6 year old alone, never mind smaller - but hadn't they paid a high enough price already!)

Loveloveloveher · 05/10/2014 21:26

I feel sorry for her family but would she have felt bad if her trolling had led Kate McCann to suicide? She was a nasty bully.

JohnFarleysRuskin · 05/10/2014 21:27

Yes, I think I agree with you Perfect Storm, only I am uncomfortable with Sky news being our new moral guardian.

temporaryusername · 05/10/2014 21:29

You're right about the internet seeming more anonymous than it really is perfect. I hope that this incident, while it is very sad and has been badly mishandled, at least makes other trolls realise they could be uncovered and made to account for themselves.

CrotchMaven · 05/10/2014 21:33

I'm not sure how I'd cope with being continually doorstepped by sky news and I think I'm relatively mentally healthy.

The problem is that most people aren't always very nuanced in their thinking (I know I'm not always). So, if you get someone who is perpetually so, hence their spouting, they are not well equipped for dealing with exaggerated repercussions.

Thank crikey MNers are not so identifiable. There are some on here who would struggle to be so robust when confronted in real life.

WannaBe · 05/10/2014 21:37

So people think that the consequence of having an opinion about the mccanns should be death? Because by spouting your "no sympathy" responses that is essentially what people are saying here.

Do people seriously think that all it takes to drive someone to suicide is being challenged on their behaviour? In which case the ibu boards must be a psychiatrist's bread and butter in the making.

It's one thing to say that she deserved to be brought to account for tweeting what she did, it's quite another to essentially say she deserved to die. This happened over a few days. you don't just decide to use suicide as a way to get away from Kay Burley (or whatever hack they sent to track her down), someone who chooses suicide is desperate - and not thinking rationally - but do carry on gloating over the death of a woman you know nothing about.... Hmm

Nancy66 · 05/10/2014 21:39

was she 'continually doorstepped' ?

Viviennemary · 05/10/2014 21:41

The Murdoch empire is not in charge of justice in this country. Even though they may they are. They have massively overstepped the mark here.

Mumtums · 05/10/2014 21:43

temporary to have been through what they (McCanns) have and then have someone spewing the type of bile that this woman was throwing at them? It was reported that she was sending them 50 texts a day!

Yes, of course, in a civilised society you need legal systems. However, when it is proved 100% that a person has trolled so severely, then I have absolutely no problem with them being confronted by media.

If she then can't live with what she herself has done, then that's her problem.

Nerf · 05/10/2014 21:44

I've just followed the links to her tweets and can't see anything directly to the McCanns or threatening them? More just accusing them? Same as all the shite on here once the klaxon calls them. Here, they get deleted quickly.

BustiKate · 05/10/2014 21:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WannaBe · 05/10/2014 21:47

also, I find it ironic that people very quickly say that "yes the mccanns made a mistake but they have paid a high price for it and deserve nothing but sympathy," in reference to people who have a view on the fact the children were left alone in the apartment (not something which fwiw I want to bring up for discussion just use as reference) yet this woman sent one tweet and people say that death was her choice? Hmm

How high a price has she paid for her "mistake" then? Hmm

BustiKate · 05/10/2014 21:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nanny0gg · 05/10/2014 21:48

But Mumtums are you not worried that people could be confronted or targeted when the media have actually got the wrong person?

That also happens when the legal system has the wrong person.

She admitted that she had done it. Very sad that she committed suicide and I feel very sorry for her family, but I don't think it was wrong that she was approached by reporters.

Redglitter · 05/10/2014 21:50

People are so brave when they hide behind a screen name. Her comments to and about the McCanns were awful. I've no sympathy for people like her who are outed. Typical bullies can dish it out but not take it.

saying that my heart goes out to her kids who have list their mum. A horrible situation for anyone

JohnFarleysRuskin · 05/10/2014 21:51

She sent only one tweet?

Were the police investigating this? Why was Sky news so involved?

wanttosinglikemarycoughlan · 05/10/2014 21:52

The nurse was a tragic case, I feel so sorry for her and her family but this is a little ironic, she was happy for trial by social media for others

PetiteRaleuse · 05/10/2014 21:53

It was not Sky news' job to name and shame her. End of. It should have been a police matter.

I hope the family sue.

She might have been an arse, but she was treated v badly by the press too (the same press who have said/insinuated plenty about the McCanns)

BustiKate · 05/10/2014 21:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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