To just give up on my baby sleeping in the day?

[Writerwannabe83]

I'm seriously at the end of my tether with listening to my 6 month old shattered baby just grizzle, moan and cry but refuse to go to sleep.

As soon as I see his cues for being tired I start the process of trying to get him to nap but it's so pointless

Sometimes I purposefully breast feed him as it's the most likely to make him sleep but when he falls asleep as he feeds he wakes up 20 minutes later.

I try putting him in his cot when he's sleepy and he just cries and cries.

I try rocking him to sleep but he just squirms around in my arms and it gives me backache. It doesn't work anyway.

I go into a darkened room and rock him in his car seat - it just irritates him.

I take him for walks and I usually have to walk around for at least an hour before he drops off and then he wakes up again as soon as I get back home.

I will admit that I have gone on drives for the sole purpose to get him to sleep - I dread to think how much petrol I get through just going nowhere.

I'm just tired of it and the issue is seriously stressing me out.

So far he's been awake 4.5 hours and only 'napped' for 15 minutes. His record is about two hours of broken sleep in a 14 hour period.

He's so tired, his constant grizzling is going right through me and I just don't know what to do anymore.

AIBU to just think fu*k it and if he won't go to sleep then I'm not going to try and force it because it's making things seem so much worse.

Does anyone else have a sleep refusing baby and just accept it?

How does he sleep at night?

My DS was similar at that age and would only sleep in my arms or with me snuggled up next to him. I just went with it. I always fed him to sleep (I still do and don't see the harm) and if he wakes just 20mins later then I feed him right back to sleep. I've always followed the old adage of sleep when the baby sleeps.

I wouldn't give up on a daytime nap, no. Rocking/singing/white noise etc never helped my DS. The Boob was the only thing that did it.

God that sounds horrendous. Don't give up - he NEEDS sleep, that's why he's so unhappy. Is he able to self soothe? Once we cracked this the daytime naps followed naturally

Bottle... I just was so tired I gave in and tried a bottle. It was brilliant. By the second day I thought she had died, she slept for 17 hours with only waking up for an hour at 7am. She eventually settled down to around 14 hours, 12 at night and two late morning.

Sorry to hear this is still a problem, I remember your previous threads about it.

I think I've told you all the tricks I used with my ds to get him sleeping during the day, so I can't help, I just wanted to post in support because I know how shit it is spending hours trying (and failing) to get a tired baby to go to sleep.

for you.

My DD was like this. I have so much sympathy, it's horrible.

DD hated being held but she liked if I lay down next to her and stroked her nose or her hand.

I will be honest, things didn't really improve until we cracked night time sleeping.

I've asked my DH to take him for a walk just up give me some respite. I just find myself getting so stressed which DS picks up on and then Nap Time becomes an unbearable experience for us both

He used to be able to self settle but over the last few months things have just deteriorated on that score.

He's teething at the moment do his sleep has been a bit crappy over the last few nights but in general he's pretty good overnight. He will sleep 19.30-03.00 and then wake for a feed. He's usually back asleep by 04.00 and then wakes again at about 07.30-08.00.

Only thing that helped mine was seeing an extremely good, experience craniel osteopath. Saved my sanity!!!

Can you just feed him to sleep and hold him? Or feed him to sleep lying down and nap with him?

Neither of my 2 napped for more than 15 minutes once a day, twice if I was lucky, always after a feed or in the pram. They did however get 12 hours at night, (still up for a feed or two). However when they started walking I started to get a 1hr-1 1/2 hr nap consistently.

Do what makes you both happy.

Sounds familiar. 20min tops, maybe two or three times a day. I have no real advice. I feed to sleep when desperate for that 20min and keep DC occupied with 'a new thing' when needed so there is less crying/moaning. It'll get better soon. I think. I hope.

Be thankful you have the car. Best advice I ever got: do what you need to do now without worrying about later. Worry about later later. So, forget about the petrol. If it gives you some time off now and gets your DC to sleep, just go with it.

I think the problem I have is that everyone in RL who has a baby loves telling me how their baby self settles in their cot and it makes me feel pretty shit that I haven't achieved it. I know motherhood isn't a competition but it's hard to accept that when I'm the one falling behind the other mothers.

Thank you everyone for your sympathies

You sound like feeding to sleep is your last resort, but really that's the most obvious and natural way of settling a baby.

I just worry about getting into that habit I think. A friend of mine has an 11 month old baby who wakes up for a feed 10-12 times a night and will not sleep without one. My friend is exhausted poor thing and can't see how she can ever address it.

I just worry about getting into that habit I think. A friend of mine has an 11 month old baby who wakes up for a feed 10-12 times a night and will not sleep without one. My friend is exhausted poor thing and can't see how she can ever address it.

Ah my DD was similar at that age, I sympathise . To be honest I just kept trying. Every nap I would try and put her down in the cot. If it didn't work I would take her out in the pram. Eventually (and it took a very long time!) I could get her down for one nap a day in her cot. Then she would have two in there. They were still only 30-40 mins at this point. Then one day she slept an hour and a quarter in her cot, it was bliss! She will now have half an hour in her cot in the morning and an hour and a half in there in the afternoon at nearly 11 months. I think her starting to crawl at 8 months made a huge difference as she never stops moving and is exhausted. Now if only I could get her to sleep at night .

I could have written your exact post a few months ago. My life was one long nap battle and like you, it was sending me close to breaking point.

I used to worry so much about the detrimental effects of how little sleep DS was getting during the day, convinced it would affect his development.

Listening to friends talk about their babies napping for hours at a time used to make me green with jealousy and convinced I was doing something fundamentally wrong.

I wasn't. Babies are just all different.

Please give yourself a break. You are doing your absolute best. I can completely empathise with how you feel.

I slowly began to realise that nothing I could do was going to 'make' him sleep. And I tried bloody EVERYTHING. I tried to take a more relaxed approach and not let it wind me up so much.

DS is now 14 months and he has naturally begun to sleep for longer periods in the day without any intervention from me. He just needed time.

At the risk of sounding like an sma advert, you ARE doing great. Babies are just bloody hard and sometimes they will only do things when they're good and ready.
Sending you
Good job they're so bloody gorgeous

Thank you shattered - I felt tears in my eyes reading your reply - that's how upset I am about the whole thing

1. Your baby is sleeping brilliant at night for his age so maybe doesn't need loads of naps in the day

1. Don't worry about self settling. Such a load of old guff is spoken about it. Some kids do it and some kids just won't and they're all alright. Just boob him to sleep, it's honestly fine. 'Self settling' isn't a milestone anyway, is it?! Never heard that one. Although I didn't read the books...

I had 3 great sleepers/nappers and one very difficult one, it was horrendous and it did nearly break me.

I really didn't care about my 4th labour/birth - I just wanted a non-screamer!!!

Just try and go with the flow, once he's more mobile it's highly likely it will improve.

Oh and agreed with shattered above, they all do things in their own time. My DS self settles now (well, not for me but for DH, nursery and grandparents!) but was much older than your DS when he did. Think over one at least.

You poor thing

If you really need a break and have tried and tested ways that work~ feeding to sleep or going out in the car, just do it!
Don't listen to those who tell you you're making a rod for your own back, blah,blah,blah...... you do what you've got to do to keep you sane.

Then celebrate that nap, who cares if it's in the car? Its one in the bag! There was a time when DS would only be fed to sleep (then sleep for an epic 30 minutes.....) or only nap in the car.

Its all I could do and I tried to accept it.

As other posters have said, you might just find when he becomes more mobile and active it may induce longer, easier naps.

Hang in there, it WILL get better xxx

Ha! Just as I posted this DS has woken up from his nap after 35 minutes!

My husband has just sent me a text message to say that DS has fallen asleep in his pushchair. I feel so much relief. I love my DS to pieces but sometimes I get so angry with myself for getting frustrated with him because he won't sleep. It's horrible.

Sympathies OP. My DD is just 8 months and has never napped for longer than apx 20/25 mins at a time. Maybe 2 or max 3 times a day. Until 2 days ago! For the last 2 days she has taken 1 and a half hour naps mid morning. Happy days

I'm doing nothing different, and i really hope this is a new routine she has sorted for herself. In other words - things can and probably will change. Once baby starts crawling they get much more properly physically tired. Fingers crossed this will trigger longer nap times.

I used to get so wound up I would scare myself sometimes. You're not alone.

It all comes from a good place though. You love your baby and you want what's best for him. Nothing to feel bad about.