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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just give up on my baby sleeping in the day?

94 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 05/10/2014 13:29

I'm seriously at the end of my tether with listening to my 6 month old shattered baby just grizzle, moan and cry but refuse to go to sleep.

As soon as I see his cues for being tired I start the process of trying to get him to nap but it's so pointless

Sometimes I purposefully breast feed him as it's the most likely to make him sleep but when he falls asleep as he feeds he wakes up 20 minutes later.

I try putting him in his cot when he's sleepy and he just cries and cries.

I try rocking him to sleep but he just squirms around in my arms and it gives me backache. It doesn't work anyway.

I go into a darkened room and rock him in his car seat - it just irritates him.

I take him for walks and I usually have to walk around for at least an hour before he drops off and then he wakes up again as soon as I get back home.

I will admit that I have gone on drives for the sole purpose to get him to sleep - I dread to think how much petrol I get through just going nowhere.

I'm just tired of it and the issue is seriously stressing me out.

So far he's been awake 4.5 hours and only 'napped' for 15 minutes. His record is about two hours of broken sleep in a 14 hour period.

He's so tired, his constant grizzling is going right through me and I just don't know what to do anymore.

AIBU to just think fu*k it and if he won't go to sleep then I'm not going to try and force it because it's making things seem so much worse.

Does anyone else have a sleep refusing baby and just accept it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 06/10/2014 10:02

Well after a horrendous night of us both only having one block of 50 minutes sleep between the hours of 1.30am - 5.30am I'm seriously hoping for some naps today. If he's as tired as me then he'll want to sleep the day away. He's looking pretty hyper though Confused

OP posts:
Allegorical · 06/10/2014 10:08

Seriously in the night garden was my saviour. He is in his bouncer watching it now whilst I get myself ready.

DrownedGirl · 06/10/2014 10:08

What time are you putting her down? At that age I seem to remember mine were up for a nap by 9.30 am

What time do you get up?
How about a bath together after breakfast then get into bed all snuggly with the radio on quietly and both just relax for a bit/feed. If she dozes then wakes again, feed her again.

Once she is used to a nap at a certain time, you can perhaps reduce her reliance on you a little.

DrownedGirl · 06/10/2014 10:10

Him, sorry

Have you checked his temperature? With night time disrupted like that j would suspect he is in pain.

Do you cosleep?

DrownedGirl · 06/10/2014 10:11

Try a sling?

Only1scoop · 06/10/2014 10:19

Sorry to hear you so tired....do you put him down for naps in his cot with curtains drawn etc....I used to pop dd back in her Gro bag so she knew it was nap time....

I guess you've tried all sorts it must be very draining....

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 06/10/2014 10:38

He goes down for bed really well - usually asleep by 7.30pm.

I think his problem last night was his blocked nose - I think he felt a bit scared when he was on his back as it wasn't as easy to breathe. I did keep him in bed with me and he ended up sleeping on his front and he seemed much more settled.

Normally we are up for the day at 07.30am but that obviously went out the window today seeing as we didn't get to sleep until 5.30am Confused

He's definitely teething so I'm going to try some teething gel today to keep on top of the discomfort he's probably feeling.

scoop - can you believe I haven't tried putting him in his bag for daytime naps Shock How has that not occurred to me??? I'm going to try it today!

OP posts:
minipie · 06/10/2014 10:56

Ohhhh god I remember the nap battles with DD. Bloody awful.

From everything you're saying, your DS is way overtired (as was DD).

When they're overtired they get full of adrenalin and it's even harder to get them to sleep. And then they ping awake as soon as you move or stop rocking or after a short sleep cycle (the 20 minute thing). That would be why he seems hyper too.

If you can fix, or even reduce, the overtiredness, you will likely find that things get easier. He will be a bit easier to get to sleep, less likely to wake after 20 minutes, might even go back to self settling.

The only way to fix overtiredness is to force some long naps in, for a few days, using whatever means necessary.

In DD's case what I used to do was do at least 3-4 hours of pram walking per day. So she'd get at least 3 hours of "enforced" napping in the day (as opposed to the 3x20 minutes Hmm she'd get if I didn't do the pram walking). After 2 or 3 days of this she was generally much better. I still needed to pram her to sleep but could at least stop the pram without her waking.

For some people sling or car works better - remember this is only for 2-3 days to get him "caught up" on sleep, it's not a permanent solution.

Don't worry about bad habits/self settling until you've sorted the overtiredness - it's impossible for an overtired baby to self settle, they are so wired. If you can force some more naps into him for a few days, then once he seems calmer and less tired, try the self settling again (but if it doesn't work don't be afraid to go straight back to using the buggy..!).

magicalmrmistofelees · 06/10/2014 10:56

I also use the grobag for daytime naps and it definitely helped her to sleep for longer Smile

expants · 06/10/2014 11:33

Oh Writerwannabe83 it's shit isn't it. I had a non-napping baby. His nighttime sleep was also terrible. I tried everything and it was still shit and I reached the end of my tether several times. It does a number on your mental health - I got a bit obsessive about sleep times in the end. It fixed itself after a bit. When he was 10 months old something suddenly clicked and ever since then he now sleeps a good two hours' nap every day, and 12 hours straight at night. I honestly thought it'd never happen. I think some babies are just not very good at sleeping - I don't believe there is anything you can do and those people for whom GF and those kinds of things work are just lucky to have a baby who knows how to sleep.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 06/10/2014 11:34

I put him in his bag and then started to feed him and within 10 minutes he was asleep and is still in my arms. He's a little bit twitchy and snuffly and I don't know whether to move him into his cot and possibly wake him or just leave him where he is?

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 06/10/2014 11:58

I'd pop him in cot but I never did the sleeping in arms thing....

GrinI'm cruel mamma

Only1scoop · 06/10/2014 11:59

Does he have a dummy to nap Writer?

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 06/10/2014 12:02

He started having a dummy at 4 weeks old but by the time he hit 10 weeks he refused it. Over the months we have tried to introduce it again, trying different designs but he's just not interested. I tried giving him one last night actually but he ripped it out his mouth and threw it Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 06/10/2014 12:57

Still in my arms and still sleeping - it's been 1.5 hours now! Shock

OP posts:
Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 06/10/2014 12:57

Still in my arms and still sleeping - it's been 1.5 hours now! Shock

OP posts:
minipie · 06/10/2014 13:10

Oh good, well at least that'll see him catching up some sleep and being a bit less overtired and grumpy!

Hope you have the remote to hand (with mute and subtitles button Wink)

Echocave · 06/10/2014 13:31

WriterWannabe, i really sympathise. My dd2's day time napping has just about sent me over the edge to the extent I'm looking forward to my maternity leave ending Sad.

I completely understand the worry about whether the baby's getting enough sleep but try not to worry about that. Amongst my friends who had babies at the same time as I had dd1, we've had great sleepers and no sleepers and all our 2 year olds are virtually identical development-wise. Your night times are also pretty good too.

Our naps improved a bit at 6 months when dd2 started sleeping on her front. I am on various threads whingeing about my gorgeous dd2 who seems to have possible mild reflux and has always been very windy. That has been a major bar to good naps I find.

I would not give up naps, tempting though it is. I think Baby a Whisperer is good. I have done blackout blinds, white noise, own cot at carefully timed intervals. A combination of these things has helped.

Sending you lots of supportive wishes..!

Echocave · 06/10/2014 13:34

Baby Whisperer (why does the iPhone autocorrect stick random 'a's in??)

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