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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if this would put you off using the childminder?

212 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 02/10/2014 19:30

Me and DH are currently in the process of searching for a childminder ready for when I return after Maternity. Depending on when I go back DS will be 9 or 12 months of age.

I met two childminders last week and neither of them felt right and the idea of leaving DS with them made me feel quite anxious. I told my DH I didn't want to use either of them. There was nothing specific about them that I didn't like but my gut instinct was that they weren't right for DS.

Tonight we met a 3rd one (and her husband and children) and she was really lovely. I instantly warmed to her, the house was really child friendly and there were toys everywhere and lots of stimulating games and activities and I just felt really comfortable talking to her and being in her company, as did my DH.

However, before we left she mentioned she had 6 dogs Hmm There are two poodles, two shnausers (no idea how to spell it) a Doberman and a Bulldog. She showed me where they are kept and they have their own area which although is part of the house they are caged in so don't have access to the main house. It's a nice big space, lots of beds and underfloor heating and they have their own door that leads to their own fenced off and secure part of the garden - they are not able to access the main garden area.

Am I being unreasonable to feel uneasy about the dogs and not send DS to her because of them even though she is perfect in every other way?

My DH thinks I'm worrying too much and he'd have no problem sending DS there. But I just don't know.

OP posts:
scarlettsmummy2 · 02/10/2014 22:13

Haven't read all the posts but it would put me off. I just don't think I would take the risk, there are too many of them.

Purpleroxy · 02/10/2014 22:17

I'd look at some nurseries.

I do love dogs. But I don't understand how she can care for 6 dogs and perhaps 3-4 children.

stareatthetvscreen · 02/10/2014 22:22

how did she ever get approved as a cm with this set up?

PunkrockerGirl · 02/10/2014 22:35

Wouldn't touch her with a barge pole. I think the fact that you've voiced your concerns on here gives you your answer.

InaPuckle · 02/10/2014 22:39

The dogs have under-floor heating? Shock WTF! Is this even normal?

MyOneandYoni · 02/10/2014 22:44

No way.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 02/10/2014 22:46

The whole house has under floor heating Grin Grin

OP posts:
Nancery · 02/10/2014 22:46

Wouldn't bother me. She may also have a dog walker or other arrangements for the dogs during the day. Speak to her about your concerns, if everything else was great don't write her off!

SunshineAndShadows · 02/10/2014 22:48

It sounds like a well-thought out set up and she's taking good care if the dogs with social contact and exercise opportunities. I'm not sure why the number of dogs matters? 1 is just as likely to escape and bite as 6. Ditto the breed -most dog bites in the UK are from Labradors, not any if the breeds mentioned. Also dogs will generally only bite as a last resort and when provoked or frightened. From MN you'd think they were all slavering hounds just waiting for a chance to feast on children.

From the OP's description they seem calm and well behaved so are clearly getting enough stimulation/training and exercise and are used to the separation.
From a child's point of view, early contact with pets is beneficial both from an emotional and immunological viewpoint (not that contact us likely to occur) The childminders seems professional, organised and well-prepared.
I'd suggest chatting to the parents of existing minders to set your mind at rest but it sounds fine to me

TooMuchCantBreath · 02/10/2014 22:49

Tbh it sounds like an excellent set up. Whether you want your ds around dogs is a personal choice and only you can answer that but she clearly doesn't allow dogs and children to mix willy nilly and the dogs sound like a well behaved bunch. The set up for the dc sounds really well thought out and shows good attention to detail.

I suspect she tells people about the dogs at the end because she's well used to reactions like the above. She clearly has a lot to offer your ds, you wouldn't be thinking about it otherwise, you'd just have said no outright. Sleep on it, visit again, visit some more cm. You don't have to decide now Smile

ispentitwithyou · 02/10/2014 22:52

Absolutely no way,i would worry all day everyday.

jellybeans · 02/10/2014 23:23

It would put me off. At least two of those dogs are big powerful dogs. Also in a pack. Not worth this risk to me. One dog as a pet I would consider but would prefer none. Sounds dodgy.

Nanny0gg · 02/10/2014 23:25

Why don't you just ask her how she manages the dogs alongside the children?

She may put your mind at rest.

Lovelydiscusfish · 02/10/2014 23:47

I wouldn't do it, and it am a dog owner/lover myself, and relaxed around dogs like you wouldn't believe. For example, we go to stay with dh's best friend twice a year, who has a territorial, child-aggressive dog. But I (or dh) are present all the time, so we can manage the situation (and believe me, we allow no risk).
Similarly my own dog, though lovely, is never alone with my dd. We just won't have that. So no, though the cm sounds like she has thought it all through and is being very careful and professional, I couldn't personally be OK with this, knowing Dh or myself wouldn't be present to supervise. Makes me sound controlling, and I'm really not - some risks just aren't worth taking.

Beautifullymixed · 03/10/2014 00:03

It's a no from me too. Six dogs, and yes those breeds do put me off.
I couldn't drop my baby off in a house with that many dogs, and go to work worry free.
Also, unless the childminder was spotless, that house must stink of dog. Especially when they're wetShock
Wouldn't want that smell on my baby.
No thanks.

CheerfulYank · 03/10/2014 02:48

I echo what others have said- I don't know anyone who goes home from work to let their dog out, etc. So if people are working their dogs are alone for those hours and I don't think it's neglectful.

So if they can get outside, they probably just entertain each other, go out when they need to.

I let mine out when the little ones are sleeping and the big ones are doing a quiet activity.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 03/10/2014 02:54

I see where you're coming from. He's the most precious thing in your life. I would not send my child somewhere where there was 1 dog let alone 6. (love dogs as I do) but I believe every dog has it it them to turn. I wouldn't take the risk. As someone else said how about a nursery.

sykadelic · 03/10/2014 04:47

Honestly, it wouldn't bother me. Simply because of the amazing sounding set-up she has.

If dogs are a concern, there are dogs out and about that aren't as controlled. Whilst out walking one could come barreling up and attack. They're not around the kids, that's important. They don't roam the house. They sound like they essentially have their own "house". So I don't think you should make the decision based on the simple fact she owns dogs.

BUT as others have said, you can only go with your gut. Your gut likes her but not her surroundings. Ultimately it's up to you.

KiwiJude · 03/10/2014 05:04

Maybe you could contact her and say you'd like to go back for a second visit and clarify a couple of things. It sounds like the dogs are very well behaved and have what sounds like a great set up.

claraschu · 03/10/2014 05:25

She sounds great. I wouldn't be worried after reading your description. In my experience dogs are always fussing and whining if separated from their people, which would make me feel sorry for them, but it sounds like these dogs are use to it and ok with it.

MidniteScribbler · 03/10/2014 05:38

I have eight dogs, and there really is a big difference between two and six/eight, but it doesn't actually mean that it suddenly becomes a full time job. A sensible dog owner understands that they are running a pack and should know how to manage them effectively and it doesn't really take that much more time than when I had two (except for bath day!). I work full time as well, just like most pet owners, and my time caring for the dogs is outside of work hours, just like everyone who works does with their cats/dogs/fish/horses/rabbits/whatever. Dogs do not need full time attention, what they need is quality attention. If the CM seems sensible, has taken all reasonable precautions, then there is actually probably less danger than someone who takes their feral little untrained dog down the park and lets them loose with the inevitable 'oh he just wants to say hi!'.

idtwinplustoddlermum · 03/10/2014 06:41

I would ask her straight up for assurance that the dogs are never allowed near the kids. Anyway your kids will always have a chance of coming into contact with dogs whenever you leave the house so I think your worries are unnecessary. Ask her for references or speak in confidence to some of her current parents.

googietheegg · 03/10/2014 06:43

I would hate this. Hate it! No way. Keep looking. If you were sure you wouldn't have posted about it.

bobbyjo · 03/10/2014 06:50

Mistakes happen. Six is a pack. I wouldn't.

HamishBamish · 03/10/2014 06:55

Yes, it would put me off. If there was one dog I might consider it, but 6 is way too many.