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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if this would put you off using the childminder?

212 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 02/10/2014 19:30

Me and DH are currently in the process of searching for a childminder ready for when I return after Maternity. Depending on when I go back DS will be 9 or 12 months of age.

I met two childminders last week and neither of them felt right and the idea of leaving DS with them made me feel quite anxious. I told my DH I didn't want to use either of them. There was nothing specific about them that I didn't like but my gut instinct was that they weren't right for DS.

Tonight we met a 3rd one (and her husband and children) and she was really lovely. I instantly warmed to her, the house was really child friendly and there were toys everywhere and lots of stimulating games and activities and I just felt really comfortable talking to her and being in her company, as did my DH.

However, before we left she mentioned she had 6 dogs Hmm There are two poodles, two shnausers (no idea how to spell it) a Doberman and a Bulldog. She showed me where they are kept and they have their own area which although is part of the house they are caged in so don't have access to the main house. It's a nice big space, lots of beds and underfloor heating and they have their own door that leads to their own fenced off and secure part of the garden - they are not able to access the main garden area.

Am I being unreasonable to feel uneasy about the dogs and not send DS to her because of them even though she is perfect in every other way?

My DH thinks I'm worrying too much and he'd have no problem sending DS there. But I just don't know.

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 02/10/2014 20:42

I don't know how she got past OFSTED, tbh.

Dogsmom · 02/10/2014 20:43

Wouldn't bother me but we have 5 dogs ourselves so dd is perfectly happy around them.

One of the resasons in chose my first cm was because she had a dog who was part of the family and I like the idea of kids and dogs being brought up together but realise I'm in the minority on mn.

I can understand your concerns with there being 6 but they are kept away from the kids so shouldn't be a problem, as someone else said why not get back in touch to talk about your concerns.
Out of interest what was it that put you off?

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 02/10/2014 20:48

Hi op.

Ex cm here and going back soon.

I didn't get the dog dd craved as I felt it was too much responsibility to protect the mindees.

We have 2 dopey cats who steered well clear.

As a parent it would be a massive red flag to me and as an animal lover it sounds ridiculous and cruel.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 02/10/2014 20:48

It put me off because I instantly worried about them attacking DS Sad

OP posts:
NickyEds · 02/10/2014 20:49

I'd find someone else. 6 dogs are a LOT of work for her and I just can't see how they could be taken care of alongside children. I would also be worried about the hygiene aspect of it too. Just curious but why would she imagine you'd visit without your son? Everyone I know has taken their baby to meet potential childminders/nursery staff when going on visits

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 02/10/2014 20:50

She knew I would bring my son but she was surprised to see he was a baby as opposed to a toddler or child.

OP posts:
CheerfulYank · 02/10/2014 20:50

I would actually put off note by smaller dogs. In my experience they are much more likely to nip or be snappy.

My big dog has never even growled at a child.

CheerfulYank · 02/10/2014 20:51

*more

CheerfulYank · 02/10/2014 20:52

He's actually having to be a dragon now, poor old boy. :) The five year old is wearing a knight costume from the dress up box and pretending to vanquish him. (By petting). The dog is loving it though, wagging tail and all.

Fairywhitebear · 02/10/2014 20:53

Yes. Would put me off.

She can't possibly look after the kids and the dogs.

So one or the other are getting ignored!

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 02/10/2014 20:54

She's either neglecting the dogs or neglecting the mindees.

It's impossibly to please both.

divingoffthebalcony · 02/10/2014 20:56

It would be a deal breaker, personally. One dog I could probably handle, two at a push, but SIX? It just doesn't sound like the dogs have a particularly good deal, being shut away for such a large part of the day. And again, there's SIX of them.

I would also have issues with hygiene dog smells in the house, which I absolutely cannot abide.

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 02/10/2014 20:58

Didn't she ask you about the age of your child and the days you wanted over the phone?

How strange op.

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 02/10/2014 21:01

You could have totally wasted both of your time as spaces are predicated by the age if the child and the days you have free.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 02/10/2014 21:03

She knew I needed shift work and I'm 99% sure my advert had the age of my son on - though I'm going to have to go back and check now Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 02/10/2014 21:07

My advert said I needed someone to mind my 1 year old. I meant it in that he'd be 1 when I returned to work next year but she may have thought I meant he was 1 now.

OP posts:
FuzzyWuzzywasaWoman · 02/10/2014 21:14

I'm afraid it would be a deal breaker for me too.

thelastthneed · 02/10/2014 21:15

I went to see a CM who had a dog. The dog was caged off in the garden and barking like crazy. It really put me off. DD eventually went to a CM who had a dog and it was great. If you feel uneasy then don't send your DS. The one time I chose a CM going against my gut feeling, I regretted it...

nappyaddict · 02/10/2014 21:15

I don't get why people are worrying about the dog's welfare. They are probably fed/watered/walked in the mornings and evenings when there are no children there. Lots of people who work full time have dogs who don't get attention between the hours of 8 and 6.

It wouldn't worry me. It has been well thought out and they have free access to the garden for exercise. I would actually want my child to have access to the dogs at certain times. I think learning to care for and interacting with an animal such as a cat or dog is a lovely part of growing up.

We are considering using a local nursery for after school care which recently got outstanding in ofsted. Their handbook states "There are two family dogs at the premises called “Stitch” and “Jerry lee” they have their own garden and room in the basement during the day and room on the third floor during the night. The dogs DO NOT go onto the setting floor. If you wish your child to have animal interaction please state, and they can participate in the daily meet and greet of the family pets with the other children. We will not be offended if you wish your child not to do this as we understand not everyone is an animal person! The animals are kept clean and vaccinated and have been raised with the owners’ children and are therefore family orientated pets and love to get the fuss!"

It's a fab set up IMO as there are no age group rooms, but this is the thing that actually puts a lot of parents off from what I have gathered talking to people that have looked around, along with the fact they have 2 dogs. However for me the fact they have mentioned the dogs in the handbook, that they are in a separate area and children will only have contact with permission shows me that it is well thought out and can actually be an advantage over other settings. They accept that they are different to other settings, that some people might be wary of that, and openly ask for you to share your concerns so they can explain how and why it is run the way it is. Basically what I'm trying to say is just cos something is different to what you are used to, it doesn't mean you should cast the option aside.

It is set up like a large childminders with different rooms such as a messy room, toy room, snug room. "We do NOT have separate age rooms or baby rooms as we do not believe in separating siblings, the children do naturally form peer groups within the setting and can request to go in any of the rooms we provide for them, we therefore adapt the rooms according to the children in attendance at any one time. Our “Toy Room” is a cosy room filled with toys and resources for all ages, most resources have a learning element, but just like home we have fun toys too which you may not see in other nurseries but will most definitely have at home!! The kitchen is communal facilitating both the children and owners family, but NO children are allowed in the kitchen for safety reasons. If you have come from a previous Nursery it may take you some time to adapt to the difference, we do ask that if you have any concerns or compliment you bring them to the attention of Rachel (owner) at the first instance. We are always thriving to improve and encourage feedback from parents on a regular basis. We particularly like being told when we are doing a good job; it’s good for staff morale!"

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 02/10/2014 21:17

Gotcha.

I suppose it's personal choice but for me as a mum and a cm I would say no.

I know as a cm I couldn't possibly have tended to 6 dogs without neglecting my mindees and that was my profession.

onarailwaytrain · 02/10/2014 21:19

There is a huge, massive difference between 2 dogs and 6.

I don't think plenty of people do have a dog that gets no human interaction between 8 and 6 to be honest. I imagine most would at least get a midday visit from someone. I'd hope so anyway!

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 02/10/2014 21:22

My DH thinks it will be good for DS to grow up around dogs so as he isn't scared of them...

The bulldog was really cute.

OP posts:
Christobel51 · 02/10/2014 21:25

I had this exact same dilemma. In the end, I did choose my childminder over many others as I liked her, her home was lovely and safe and she really engaged with my two children who were 1 and 2 1/2 when they first went to her. I had reservations mainly as I don't like dogs myself but try hard not to project that onto my daughters.
She had 4 dogs and it was a similar set up to the one you describe.... A separate area of the house with a separate garden area. The dogs were well looked after and after a while my daughters had, with our permission some more interaction with the dogs and eventually went on park trips with one or two of the dogs. In fact, she did me a favour as my elder daughter used to be quite frightened of dogs ( hence some of my initial reservations) and now she is very confident and happy to approach dogs in the park and pat them (with permission). In fact, her latest favourite game is to play "doggies" where she is the dog and her sister is the owner!
I think if you are happy with the childminder in every other way, and her family and the set up, then go with her. The dogs are for her to deal with and they sound like they are well managed. If you are concerned, ask if you can speak to other parents who have used her in the past... She shouldn't mind you contacting them and they may be able to allay your fears.

Christobel51 · 02/10/2014 21:27

Oh, cross post about not fearing dogs!

andsmile · 02/10/2014 21:27

yes it would but Im not a fan of CM for childcare either and this is one of the reasons - it all looks great and secure but what happens everyday when you are not there. But I am biased as Ive always preferred nurseries.

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