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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask how old your DC were when you first put them into nursery?

137 replies

MustHaveMoreTea · 02/10/2014 07:23

Whether or not it was because you had to go back to work f/t or p/t or if just to preserve your sanity and if think it was the right thing to do, looking back?
3 months old? 6 months? 9 months? Or only at year, 2 years, 3 years? Was it very difficult to do?
The new term/school year just having started I'm having some doubts over here! Hmm I just picked the closest one to me (not many choices around here anyway) but I'm also wondering how you chose the right place for your infant/toddler?

OP posts:
biscuitsandbandages · 02/10/2014 08:17

Both of my boys went just before they were one, part time 3 days a week as I had to go back to work. It is a lovely nursery and they have thrived there. I have the odd moment of maternal guilt but we do what we have to do as a family and they loved all the staff (and still do and all about them often)

When my daughter was 2 months I was diagnosed with leukaemia and have spent most of the past 6 months in hospital so obviously we needed care for her much earlier than planned. It was a no brainer and she settled in quickly being so young and sees it as a second home. They cuddle her and care for her and she has a lovely time there. Many of the staff have become family friends and we think a great deal of them.

Of course we wish things were different but have no concerns or regrets about the childcare choices we made.

StripyBanana · 02/10/2014 08:25

At 2yrs9months. Feel very privilidged I didn't have to earlier as its been fantastic.

atticusclaw · 02/10/2014 08:29

Both started at 9 months. Both were in four days a week. I went back to work and they thrived on the stimulation so I didn't feel like it was a particularly negative thing for them.

MTWTFSS · 02/10/2014 08:42

DS1: 39mo
DS2: Will be going at 35mo but this may change if he is not ready.

WorraLiberty · 02/10/2014 08:49

The school year in which they turned 4yrs old.

It was just a few hours in the morning. I did it because it was attached to the school and so starting reception the year after, was a much easier transition.

elQuintoConyo · 02/10/2014 08:51

Aged 1yr9mo, 9-1 every day. I started back at work, afternoons, DH works from home so needed a clear 4 hours in the morning, at least, then DS' siesta time to be able to work. He did the lion's share if care every afternoon after about 3pm.
We chose the one closest because we can barely afford to run a car and we could walk to this one. He never liked it, refused to go until the last day (he was there a year), moaning and grumpy although not crying. Never said hello/goodbye to staff! But he always came home clean and holding some crafty thing they'd made.
He finished at the end of August and started 'school' two werks later (we are abroad, so this is perhaps a pre-school, attached to the school. It's optional to start before 6yo). It's called P3 and you can start if you turn 3 between Jan-Dec. DS is December born and the youngest in his class, he also speaks English at home, so is behind in his speach.
as a contrast, he LOVES school, from yesterday he goes 9-4.30 every day he is babbling away, trying to describe his day and his riends, the trachet is great, says he is integrating etc.
We are happy, DS is happy. The class has 19 pupils and he'll be there until he is 12.
My work timetable still sucks, so I see him less.
Oh, and school is free, we just pay for lunch (which is excellent).

elQuintoConyo · 02/10/2014 08:54

Speech
Teacher is great

PedantMarina · 02/10/2014 08:58

DS was c.9 months when I had to go back to work.

At first it was three days a week at childminder and and two days nursery. I wasn't too sure about that at first (thought it would be confusing for us all) but he got the best of both worlds: 1-on-1 with the childminder, and whole-group and more facilities with the nursery.

Ah the facilities! We don't have the space, time or patience to set up a wet play area, or a whole table of beads and glitter. But nurseries do.

My first day back at work, I was physically ill. I'd had the settling-in days where I went home after dropping him off, but they didn't prepare me for the reality of when I couldn't just march back up the street and demand my precious wee thing back NOW. Sad

I also had a little weird moment once: I'd arrived to collect him early and all the children were seated in their bumtubs, about to be served food. There were several children with roughly his colouring and size and I panicked because I - literally! - couldn't pick my child out of a lineup! I felt like the Word Mother Ever. And I was terrified that the nursery staff could tell. A second later, though, I rounded the corner and spotted the last seat and of course that was him.

Best of luck.

wigglesrock · 02/10/2014 09:02

Dd1 went to a crèche one day a week from the age of 4 months, she started nursery school at 3 years 2 months then started P1 the following year.

Dd2 went to a pre school at 2 years 11 months for 4 mornings a week, the nursery school at just before her 4th birthday and then P1 a year later.

Dd3 has just started nursery school at 3 years 8 months, she's in 9- 1.30 every day and will start P1 in September next year.

Out of all 3, dd3 has spent more time with me than the older two. All 3 of them settled into whatever the childcare/education situation was without any problem at all. They just went to school/nursery to be honest without a backward look.

AmberLav · 02/10/2014 09:03

Both went to nursery at 9 months, and they did 4 days a week (Wednesdays off) from 8am to about 5.15/5.30pm. It was a really good time for both them and me - they were not at the separation anxiety age yet (both mine peaked around the 1 year mark) so they were able to settle in well to their keyworkers.

3 year old DS now looks disappointed when I tell him it's not a nursery day, as he loves playing with his friends!

stargirl1701 · 02/10/2014 09:04

DD1 went to CM at 13 months and will go to nursery at 3. DD2 will do the same.

Andcake · 02/10/2014 09:05

Were in week 3 with ds who is 2. He seems to love it no tears yet. He goes a few mornings a week. I just looked at the 3-4 closest to home then registered for a place with 2. And due to waiting lists only got into the one he's at. So far so good Grin

AmberLav · 02/10/2014 09:06

Oh, and please do not be surprised if you and your child are ill for the first 3 months of nursery! They will be exposed to a lot of germs in the short term, but my two are now healthy as horses, and very rarely get ill

HamishBamish · 02/10/2014 09:06

Both around 18 months, 2 days per week. Was it the right thing? Overall, yes. If I had been able to take 5 years out from my career and get back into it then I would have stayed at home full-time until they went to school. As it happened, I did take a couple of years out but by that time they were settled and enjoying nursery (and were over 3), so we kept them in.

If I had a choice, I wouldn't have sent them until they were over 3 and then just mornings or afternoons. Although I don't think they were harmed by nursery before then, I don't think they benefitted particularly.

ThatBloodyWoman · 02/10/2014 09:06

Mine went to a childminder at just under 5 months because of returning to work.
Nursery was a later progression for more social interraction and structured activity.

I think that
a) its more a case of instinctively knowing if somewhere is wrong, rather than knowing somewhere is right.
b) looking back it was an extremely positive thing for my children.

WaroftheRoses · 02/10/2014 09:07

DS1 3 months-back to work
DD 6 months-took extra maternity, back to work
DS2 6 months-by choice, did kids' independence the world of good!

cadidog · 02/10/2014 09:14

DS started 2 afternoons a week from 6 months old. He's been fine from day one with only a bit of crying at one drop off (he'd woken from his nap too early) and even when his key worker went on holiday for two weeks he was absolutely fine. He's always been a very relaxed, sociable baby mind.

littlehayleyc · 02/10/2014 09:16

Both mine started the term before they were 3. They both started off with a couple of mornings, working up to 15hrs the term after they were 3. When my eldest started, there was a lovely Montessori nursery locally so he went there. I chose it after viewing a few others because I thought the calm atmosphere would suit him. He's quite an independent boy and likes to work on a task he's chosen. Very good concentration and always building/making things. Unfortunately it closed down after a year so he then went to a mainstream nursery. This one was much busier and noisier, but helped him with the social side, and making friends. When my daughter was old enough she went there too and loved it. The main reason for choosing that nursery was because my MIL worked there. It was mostly staffed by mature ladies like her, and was basically a bit like being looked after by a team of lovely grannies :) I was lucky to be able to work 2 days a week after 12months maternity leave with both children. My mum and mother inlaw helped with childcare so there was no need to start them any sooner.

TheWanderingUterus · 02/10/2014 09:18

A week short of four years old.

I put him in to give me a break so I could study, it was over the road from the school he was going to and his sister goes to. He had a year before he was going to school and we wanted to help him prepare a bit.

He went 9am to 4pm, three days a week.

It was the most fantastic nurturing environment and perfect for him.

bauhausfan · 02/10/2014 09:29

DS1 didn't go to pre-school/nursery but always went to school perfectly happily from day 1 (now home educated).
DS2 has never been to pre-school/nursery/school (and probably never will). He goes to the mixed age Home Ed groups and is a super-confident, high-achieving and happy child.

I really feel that putting children into any form of day care before the age of 4 is potentially detrimental to the child's sense of security. Early years care has gone from something that parents used of of necessity so they could work to now being touted as the best option for children and that they will somehow be damaged if they don't go. I know that is not a popular opinion and I know that nowadays many people have no option but to use childcare however I still believe that small children are best off with a primary carer who loves them.

(Runs away from the hail of arrows).

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 02/10/2014 09:32

Both my children only went to nursery when they started at the one joined to the school, so they were 3.
This was down to the fact that we didn't need the childcare until this point. We were very fortunate when my children were very small that we worked shifts that fitted round each other, I worked 23 hours over 2 days and DH worked full time over 3 or 4 days (12 hour shifts).
Had we not been able to do this we would have needed to put the children in to either childcare sooner or one of us become a stay at home parent.
This would have been a purely financial decision.

gordyslovesheep · 02/10/2014 09:33

6mths
9mths
10mths

LittleBearPad · 02/10/2014 09:33

16 months, three days a week. It seemed to work well for us but I was lucky that I could afford to go back to work when she was that old.

serislou · 02/10/2014 09:34

DD1 9months more or less FT when I returned to work
DS1 5 months again to return to work.
DS2 is 9 months and as circumstances have changed he is still at home with me.

DS1 is still at nursery 2 mornings a week even though I'm now a SAHM as it enables me to have a bit of one on one with all the children and I feel he would miss it.
If I remain a SAHM DS2 will be joining him in the not too distant future for a morning or two both for him to have the experience and for my sanity!

Nursery was chosen on the basis that we were able to turn up whenever we wanted for a visit and when we were there all the children were happy, busy and engaged with staff that were clearly enjoying their job.

ChickenFajitaAndNachos · 02/10/2014 09:35

Ds1 went two afternoons a week at 21 months and I built it up to four monings by the time he was three.
Ds2 was 6 months and he went two afternoons. I then switched to a couple of mornings when he was two and four or five monnings at three and a bit.
They both have Summer birthdays so started part time school young.
I put them in the lovely crèche at my gym from three months so they were used to being left.