Oh arse. I've just been ridiculous.

[Hurr1cane]

Back story, my DS has autism, disabilities, and health problems.

I had to pull over on the way home from school because he was having a seizure in the car. I managed to get him stable enough to rush him home.

I got home to find a work van parked over my drive.

I beeped a couple of times and nothing
So rather than just beeping I sat and leant on the horn for ages.

A man came out. I didn't even look at him, he moved the van, I pulled into my drive and he smiled at me so I just gave him a look of death and carried my DS in stomping as I went and slammed my front door.

Now I've calmed down.... I must have looked unhinged.

I'm forever going to be known as "that strange angry woman" aren't I?

Please tell me your stories of misdirected anger or over reactions to make me feel better.

I'm honestly usually a very calm and reasonable human being. Not a huge burning ball of rage.

During my first pregnancy I went slightly mad. One Friday evening dh (who is lovely kind thoughtful) had brought home a takeaway. We were chatting about potential names. He said he wasn't sure about one of my suggestions and I just lost it. Shouted at him that he had always hated me was undermining me stormed off into the bedroom and lay there feeling a real prat! The next day I accidentally threw my handbag into a lake. Luckily the madness only lasted a few days but was very strange...

Hahaha, how on rathe did you accidentally throw your handbag in a lake?

I've told this before and though the general consensus was that I was in the right to kick off I was utterly ashamed and furious with myself for losing control in such a manner.
I was in our local shopping centre car park with ds. Dh had gone on ahead and was already in the car. As I was putting stuff in the boot A car with five males drove past and started shouting hey there fatty fatty out of the window at me along with "yer fuckin fat cunt!" I was devastated but they were in a car. Nothing I could do. Dh didn't hear anything so didn't know what happened. As we drove around the corner I saw them parking up. I screamed at dh to stop the car and he screeched to a halt. I got out and ran over to the drivers side quickly followed by dh "Hi! I'm here! The fat cunt you so desperately wanted to get the attention of! The one that had her 2year old child by her side! Yes?! How can I be of service to you?" Then I started kicking fuck out of the car. They locked the door, wound up the windows and called the police. The driver started shouting that he was shouting at someone else and to leave them alone. There were 5 of them and they were cowering in fear. The police turned up and quickly deduced what had happened. They were encouraged to apologise and I went home and cried with mortification.

stratter you beat me to it and were much more restrained.

I'm bottling it up, I'll RM later

Manners cost nothing mamma you are right. It isn't polite to park over my drive. Not illegal no, but very very rude.

Oh and I didn't avert my eyes, I looked at him and pointedly turned away.

You need to read the definition of bully love.

Oh and my child? He was post seizure and didn't know his arse from his elbow so don't worry he didn't know.

Being a lovely nurse I did check they were OK and put them in the recovery position. I don't recall hitting them, it was more of a reflex and I 'come to' finding them lying down

I now announce the elfycat fan club open & accepting membership applications Send your details and a postal order to Garlic, Even-Tempered Aficionado of Entirely Appropriate Violence Against Molesters.

Oh piss off Po Face, aren't you the perfect one

HAHAHA!!!!! Stratter5, I love you!!

I REALLY need that "like" button now, so I can press it 1000 times for Stratters' post!

A friend of mine was having an almighty dingdong with her fiancé in the car as they were driving through the country; she got so infuriated with him that she ripped her engagement ring off her finger and flung it out the window, into a pond! It defused the row, but he refused to buy her a replacement for 25 years (they still got married - he got it for their silver wedding anniversary present)

There is a bit of a tricky junction near where I live, and due to school runs etc, I have to use it at least 10 times each week. So I know it well.

Just over a week ago, I was waiting to turn there, and the driver behind me started beeping. It wasn't safe to go.

So, after I had safely turned, I drove down the road at 20 mph. He was unable to pass. He became so frustrated, he started to lean on his horn, all the way down the road. I sailed on at 20, in righteous indignation!

It felt so good. The fucker!

Hurr1cane, I have seen you post before. I think you have incredible grace under a huge amount of pressures that life has thrown at you. The van driver was an entitled arse to park over your drive. He deserved your Paddington "hard stare"!

for you.

Oh god, I've had loads of RMMs. My children were born in two different countries in SE Asia where people will often take photos of other people's children without asking for permission... Earlier this year, we were on holiday and we were visiting an old Thai palace when a bus load of Chinese tourists arrived.

The palace was very picturesque and had wild monkeys roaming around. I was a bit nervous around monkeys as one had jumped on my head at a temple in Bali years ago and it scared the bejesus out of me!

Anyway...some of the Chinese tourists began taking pictures of my 2 year old son. I loudly asked them to stop and stood between them and him. They stopped...briefly. One woman really wanted to take a picture of him and somehow started chasing him!! He was startled and started to run and she ran after him and basically chased him towards a large group of wild monkeys. My husband managed to overtake her and grab him before the monkeys attacked him. (The monkeys had started screaming as he was running straight at him)

I flipped out and took her iPhone from her and deleted pictures of him whilst screaming at her at the top of my voice. She was genuinely shocked that I was angry. Her sister could speak English and apologised on her behalf so I screamed at her too! My husband had to make me give the phone back and walk away. I could literally hear my heart pounding in my ears. I had been so scared that the monkeys would bite or scratch him that it took ages for me to calm down. I should add that I was pregnant at the time too so that probably added to my crazy factor!

Stratters , perfect response !

My RMM came in the middle of the Hammersmith one way system . Twice . Anyone who knows it knows that at virtually any given point it's a fucking free for all nightmare . It's like driving in Rome but with ugly people and slightly fewer mopeds . Anyhow . I'd been cut up by some pillock coming over Hammersmith bridge , who I'd then sailed past at some traffic lights , only for him to try and take the front off my car to cross 3 lanes of traffic . So I hit my horn sufficiently hard that I broke it . And it wouldn't turn off . So there was I stuck in the midst of the gyratory system with the car going "beeeeeeeEeeeeeeeeeeeep" and the entire world looking at me . In the end I had to run into Hammersmith police station and beg them for some wire cutters to turn the fucking thing off . Mortifying .

The second time , same place , was basically being pushed round the one way by an HGV who was determined to shunt me into the car in front . So I got out , stomped up to his cab , climbed up on the step , and screamed at him "my husbands not allowed that far up my arse , what makes you think you are ?" Then returning to car and driving on . I was 8 months pregnant and the size of a bus at the time . Oh well . He kept his distance thereafter !

Plomino. Every credit. I will defo be using that one next time someone is hogging the back of my car.

Massive snort at "my husbands not allowed that far up my arse , what makes you think you are ?" :o

But I properly pmsl at stratter5 and ' MOVE YOUR FUCKING CAR YOU FAT GINGER CUNT' :o :o :o

Have to think of mine... Dh's high point was shouting 'CUNT' at the top of his voice while trying to fit the bike rack on the back of our car. Then stamping on it. In front of our house and in full view of our new neighbours... Thanks dh!

Awful red mist moment at work once.

Staff bikes were kept in a room underground. To get to it there were 2 doors to open and 2 flights of stairs to get down, and one small flight of stairs back up on the other side of the second door. People parked their bikes in front of the door so you couldn't get your bike in without first carrying their bikes into the correct room for them then going back to get your bike through the door and up the stairs into the right place.

For 2 days I left polite notices saying "please don't put your bike here", then I put a note on the repeat offender's saddle saying "please don't do this".

Day 3 I saw fucking red. I picked his bike up. I threw it on the floor . I wheeled my bike over it and carried on up stairs.

I work in a gym. The guy was HUGE! I ended up paying for the repairs, he doesn't park it there any more.

My DDs fondly remember the time "mummy shouted for ages and ages at the traffic warden and she [the traffic warden] had to move her car"

The silly woman had parked over the pavement on a single yellow in order to wait to ticket another car parked on a single yellow line.

I thoroughly lost the plot walking up the road with a DD on each hand being pissed off that we had to walk in the road to go past her and when I saw she was a traffic warden completely lost it and had my RMM

I have a memory of words like "hypocritical traffic toad" and then just a sustained repeat of MOVE YOUR CAR MOVE YOUR CAR MOVE YOUR CAR at volume 11. Kids were quite bemused but now think it was hilareous.

I couldn't work out whether to be proud or ashamed.

I lost it when driving home from a day out with DH and 3 DC. It had been long, it had been stressful.

Three corners from home, DD puked her guts up into her cupped hands and all over the interior of the car, liberally splashing DS1 and DS2 and the back of my head etc So we tried to drive the last little bit briskly. Only the young lads in the car in front clearly thought I was being impatient and that my gesticulating was because I was some kind of road raging mentalist so they slowed down to a crawl. Cue more hand waving and panic from us.

In the back, DD just said, 'There's more coming..' in a horrible bubbly exorcist style voice. We pulled into the driveway on a hand brake turn ok, not really but it would have been good and DD and what seemed like 8 pints of vomit burst forth. The occupants of the other could clearly see what had happened and drove off sheepishly while I shook my fists and screamed obscenities.

May all the vomit in the world be sprayed on their heads.

Oh I have had many many rages whilst teetering on the brink of postnatal natal depression following the births of my 2 severely refluxy and difficult babies. We still have the reminder of one episode on our magnolia lounge wall from where I flung a full can of coke at my DH when he dared suggest that I was being a tad unreasonable for sobbing over some clothes I had forgotten to take out of the washing machine and now smelt musty. He then compounded my rage by saying 'well done, that's really helpful' after the coke flinging episode. I was in the kitchen by now and a tub of cream cheese was swiftly hurled in his direction. I then told him he could look after the 'baby from hell' , stormed upstairs, got my 2yo and drove us both off in the car at midnight, a sobbing mess. DH called the police as he was worried about me. I look back at that time with horror and can't believe I did such things but I really was not coping.

The angriest I have ever been where I simply lost all sense was coming home from school one day with ex H and dd on her scooter, she was 4 and tiny. She was about 6 feet ahead and ex was running to catch up with her. She scooted past two young women, looked to be in their late teens, early twenties, looked completely normal, well dressed, made up etc. As ex went past one of the women said "good job she didn't bash into me, I would have kicked her fucking head in" then looked at her mate and started laughing really nastily. Ex just said calmly "you wouldn't have done anything of the sort" and she replied "wouldn't I?" with the most awful look on her face and stepped forward at him. I was so angry I couldn't see straight, ex actually looked more frightened of me than he did of her and immediately jumped in between us. I know it doesn't make me sound good but if I had got hold of her I would have wiped the floor with her, was absolutely beyond fury, she must have seen it too, because she and her mate just started walking off really quickly up the road, while ex kept tight hold of me.

Ex said afterwards, I could see you coming and the look on your face and I just though "oh Fuck!"

I used to have the RMMs more when I was a teenager, but mostly grew out of them. The commonest trigger for them was my brother. He just loved to needle away until I exploded. Couple of times he got hit for it (by me) but I always felt guilty about that. Didn't stop him though. :(

A few years ago now, alone for the weekend, DD1 (11 months) not sleeping and at all, me exhausted. I took Mrs Cluck, the chicken shaped doorstopper and started slamming her on the floor shouting 'why won't you sleep' , probably profane words in there too. I slammed her so hard she exploded and a shower of sawdust went everywhere. I had to get the hoover out and it took me ages to clean up, all whilst DD1 smiling and cooing in her cot.

I restuffed Mrs Cluck and she is there as a reminder not to get so angry ever again.

Have name changed for this as possibly identifying.

A few years ago our ndn decided to have a bonfire and that leaving it in charge of teens age 15-19 was a great idea.

After a few hours where it was looking dangerous we called 101 for advice and they were not helpful.

At 11pm ds2 woke up as his smoke alarm had gone off. The fire had spread to a conifer hedge and was 18ft high.

Dh went next door to ask them what they were playing at and they slammed the door in his face. I heard dh yell at them as I settled ds2 and went to check on him.

I got him in the house (he was calm) and shut the door. The next thing was a youth on my drive yelling abuse at us.

I lost the plot, I went out and shouted a lot a little. Apparently there was a lot of swearing although I remember little other than telling them all to get off my property.

I backed the group halfway down the road and across to the opposite side. Dh pulled me in the house when he realised what was happening.

Apparently there were 15 of them and they still -5 years later- cross the road when they see me coming.

Thetruth

I'd have just sat in crying because I was scared! You're brave!

Thanks hurr1cane. I dont think I was brave though just fucking furious, I actually saw red.

Bloody stupid thing to do though really. The thing thats hilarious now though is although they keep away from me, they are terrified of dh and he hasnt done anything

I am better with the rm than I used to be, I used to have a proper temper and things would go flying and things would get broken.

I thought I had finally grown up when one day (not so many months ago) I got up to make a cup of tea to discover that there was no milk, just an empty milk carton. This was despite there being a 4 liter unopened bottle of milk the night before.

I am afraid it was the final straw of people helping themselves from the fridge and not telling me or replacing it.

The RM descended, I threw my milkless tea through the window (smashing it), the kettle in the sink, smashing the crockery that hadn't been washed up the night before < the shame>. I pulled the fridge freezer over and was jumping up and down on the door. I wrestled the door off , threw the jar of mayo up the wall, opened the kitchen door and threw the bent mishapen fridge freezer door up the garden.

My Dh and teenage DC's were WTF!

There is always milk for my morning cuppa now

When pregnant completely lost is DP for liking Suicide Girls pictures on fbook.

Came down on him for publicly disrespecting me (blame hormones and thus hormone driven insecurity).

Another time during pregnancy and writing our baby shopping list I mentioned the importance of socket guards ( I was just into 2nd trimester) and he said that it wasn't a priority at this point, we had bigger things e.g. a cot to get. This cued a total melt down where I accused him of not caring about baby safety and clearly he couldn't give a shit if baby was electrocuted so obviously I was going to have to do all the parenting alone.

While part of me knows I shouldn't have lost it the other part still thinks he needed to put safety higher up in his priorities!