Oh arse. I've just been ridiculous.

[Hurr1cane]

Back story, my DS has autism, disabilities, and health problems.

I had to pull over on the way home from school because he was having a seizure in the car. I managed to get him stable enough to rush him home.

I got home to find a work van parked over my drive.

I beeped a couple of times and nothing
So rather than just beeping I sat and leant on the horn for ages.

A man came out. I didn't even look at him, he moved the van, I pulled into my drive and he smiled at me so I just gave him a look of death and carried my DS in stomping as I went and slammed my front door.

Now I've calmed down.... I must have looked unhinged.

I'm forever going to be known as "that strange angry woman" aren't I?

Please tell me your stories of misdirected anger or over reactions to make me feel better.

I'm honestly usually a very calm and reasonable human being. Not a huge burning ball of rage.

The London tube in the rush hour is a place for red mist over the issue of a) getting on and b) sitting down.

This week on the subject of
a) getting on: dd and I were trying to get into a not overcrowded carriage but the man in the check shirt in the doorway wouldn't budge at 'excuse me' so I got on as the doors closed leaving dd on the platform. I was so angry I made silent fists at the man's back till the next stop which his friend saw and muttered something to him in a foreign language which explains why he didn't understand 'excuse me'. I got off at the next stop and got on the next train which had sensible dd on it and worried all the way home that I might have been videoed and will get done for threatening behaviour.
b)sitting down: I got onto a full train and asked a boy if he would give me his seat as I had a heart problem (true, I do). A kind young man sitting in a priority seat overheard and immediately got up and gave me the priority seat. Even so, the mother of the boy who thus remained seated, lost it, and shouted down the whole train that she didn't believe I had a heart problem and had a cheek asking her son to give up his seat so I said to her I thought she was teaching him bad manners. I didn't see the red mist but she did.

I think you definition of red mist is different to mine hurricane... You beeped someone and gave them a dirty look? That's practically being nice in my world.

My best RMM moment was when someone threw a brick through my ground floor bedroom window at Uni and climbed in to take my computer. I broke his arm and screamed obscenities at him such that my throat was sore for weeks.

I have also pummelled the tumble dryer so hard when it wouldn't open that I broke a bone in my own hand, and once kicked the shit out of an expensive brabantia bin so that it no longer closed because I couldn't recline the pushchair.

All I can say in my own defence is that I am absolutely out of control during these incidents. I am getting better.

My mum is a classic RMMer and once tipped a trolley load of tins out of her trolley into the checkout aisle of some 80s supermarket. The supermarket had to close briefly to sort it. The crime was that a checkout girl had rolled her eyes at a colleague when my mum asked her to stop talking and concentrate on scanning the shopping (she had scanned something twice whilst chatting to her mate on adjacent checkout). It's hereditary.

you broke his arm???!! Ok you scary!

I once scared a young girl in a car into rigid fear. She was backing down a very steep narrow road. No passing room at all. I was on my motorbike and she was heading directly into me. You can't reverse on most motorbikes, certainly not mine. I couldnt possibly get out of her way becuase she blocked me in from going forwards, which was the only possible escape. Plenty of room in front of her. I was actually very scared myself, damn cautious rider and having someone waving get out of my way when I couldn't, over and over, freaked me. I was making much more polite 'go forward' motions, but no way could I get the sidestand down given how steep the road was. When she finally went forward I managed with huge difficulty to just squeeze in between two parked cars to let her past. I was so angry by then I banged and banged and banged on her window with my black gloved fist and dark visor down. She was nearly crying by then.

Saw her later on the road, slowed down to check it was really her and the rigid terrified forward gaze made it clear it was. I was half-sorry half-not sorry. The 'get the fuck out of my way' gestures she made did it.

I've had a few; I bottle things up, then WHAM, explode like a pressure cooker. I'm not good at expressing my emotions. I'll add that I am thoroughly ashamed of all of them, with the exception of the last, which was a good 30 years worth of bottled up anger.

When I was younger our neighbour's (I say neighbour, she lived a good quarter of a mile away) daughter had a habit of letting herself into our house, helping herself to feed, and going into the horses field to feed them. This was a huge problem for the ponies, which were on restricted diets, plus she was actually waltzing into our house. Parents had been spoken to, parent were of the ineffectual 'my baby wouldn't do a thing like that' school.

One day I saw her do it, and a big RM descended. I snuck into the field, hopped on my pony, and when she climbed through the fence, rode full tilt at her, swerving at the last minute. She ran home sobbing, I guess I terrified the shit out of her, parents came storming round to have a go at mine, who calmly pointed out that she was actually doing exactly what they had denied. End of argument. Was quite a good outcome tbh, as she was a massive pita and never went near me again.

Second major one, and here I apologise profusely to all red heads, those of us carrying a few extra pounds (including me), and females. Went to take DD2 to a drs appointment, and discovered I couldnt get out of my drive because yet again a school run mum had parked right across it because her previous (11yo+) child couldn't walk an extra 5 yards. Asked her nicely to move, got a 'Oh I'll only be 10 minutes', followed by her winding up her window.

I lost it. Really, really lost it. In front of loads of other kids and parents. Started hammering on her window, absolutely frothing with rage. She wound her window down, and I yelled at her "MOVE YOUR FUCKING CAR YOU FAT GINGER CUNT". She moved. Again, I apologise profusely to all those offended by my words, I don't know what came over me I do it was the fucking red mist

Last one, couple of years ago, was away with DDs, my hideous mum/stepfather, and even more hideous sister. Had endured 3 days of really appalling behaviour aimed at us; simple stuff like them making everyone except us a drink, sister's frankly shit cooking being praised, mine being totally ignored, having them walk into the sitting room and changing channels without asking; just your average obvious displays of them and Golden Child being somehow above us. It was bad enough for the DDs to have kept up a text dialogue with XH, telling him what was going on, and asking him to ring the following day, to say he had hurt his back (he was dog/cat/various small animal sitting), and we needed to come home asap.

Went out for lunch, had to wait for a table because it hadn't occured to them tgat I might actually be right about needing to book. Was subjected to some quite ridiculous sniping and bitching from sister. I lost it, and slapped her found the face in front of loads of people waiting to be seated.

I am not sorry for that one, she fucking deserved it, and I should have done it decades ago. Silver lining of that one was I finally resolved to go NC, and I've not heard a peep since, bar one very long, self pitying, and par for the course poor me letter from my very ex mother. It is bliss not having them in our lives anymore.

This will out me but hey ho. I was once mugged by two men, I broke the nose of one and buggered the knee of another. They went to the police! It didn't work out well for them and I looked like a ninja but really it was an accident and pure fluke!

Still think you were reasonable, I would never park over anyone's drive. Ever. Or push in queue or do nanny shitty things... Unless you mug me apparently.

And once my grandad was driving me to his house. There was a dance school at the top of his road and the parents had some competition to park right outside, despite the road being long and largely uncongested. This one day he swung in the road and had to do an emergency stop as a car had parked so badly forcing our rear end to stick out into a really busy road whilst we waited for a gap in the oncoming traffic to materialise. Gramps asked nicely for the obstructor to move and the driver sneered and wound up his window.

Am not quite sure what happened but I did much yelling, updating on traffic law and annihilation of reputation. The man moved. Grandad was stunned and I sometimes look at my eldest who suffered the mist and know where he gets it from.

I feel there is a lot of solidarity on this thread.

We've been there, done that, in terms of being pushed to the limit. It does seem like a massive pressure cooker just going bang.

Weird feeling afterwards, a sort of catharsis mixed with the "oh fuck, what have I done.." I wish it was just the former, not the latter!

stratter I think families have a particular ability to force the RMM because they just dont seem to have boundaries, do they? I had a weekend of it, My DSM, a very hormonal DSS17 and a pissed off DP all together. OMG I felt like bashing their heads together! It was almost carnage, the RMM did disperse into a pink mist by Sunday, only because I knew it would be "back to normal on Monday morning. Your NC was a good plan

I once got so angry when I was in a rush getting ready for work, and the zip of my work trousers jammed half way up, and wouldn't budge either way, that I ripped the buggers off Full Monty style.

DH and I hadn't been together very long at the time, I think I scared him into marrying me!

This is interesting - I think as women we're conditioned not to get angry, so it just builds and builds, and then ...

I'm afraid my RMM is road-rage: in mitigation I was as stressed as I've ever been - we had been waiting to exchange contracts on our house and the sodding stupid lawyer on the other side had come up with the 5th minor but really really time-consuming question.

So, on the school run we are on motorway for a short stretch, and it's usually slow-moving. As we crawl past an entry slip-road, the accepted behaviour is to take turns letting people in, as everyone can then keep moving.

So this particular day I let a car in in front, but then the flash git behind him/her, who should if he had any sense, morals or brains, have been politely and gently moving into the slot behind us, just drove closer and closer to me and basically forced his car in front.

So I leant on my horn for the full 3 minutes it took to get to my junction

When the DSs were small we drove for an hour to the MK Snozone Giant Chilly Warehouse Of Frozen-ness ( Getting lost several times on route ) Then queued for another hour ( With lots of whinging and needing to go to the loo and more whinging and so on ) and when we got to the front the bloke said " Oooh, no ... You should have booked! No space left all this week! ( It was half term ) And to my eternal shame I went off bang and swore at him, the managemant, the MK one way system, the weather, the hill free geography of East Anglia and the uncaring universe before doing a dramatic flounce-about and stropping off ...

Rather worryingly the kids thought it was hilarious and even now get nostalgic about Mum's Snozone Meltdown It took about five years before I dared go back ...

I'm not a particularly angry person so it takes a lot to get me going.

However.

Years ago my DP and I were moving into a committed relationship. We decided to do the sensible thing and get STD tests to make sure we were both in good health in that department. I'd booked appointments at the local GUM clinic at the same time, one evening after work. We hadn't had time to eat so I'd told him that we'd grab a bite to eat together when we were done.

It turned out that men and women were funnelled into separate waiting rooms, so I told him to wait for me outside if he got out first and visa versa.

Of course mine took way longer and included my first smear test. So when I was finished I hobbled along limping and bleeding outside to find that he wasn't there. I called him and he texted back to say he was in the pub.

I was already pissed off to find that he hadn't waited, but when I got in the pub I went nuclear when I saw that he'd just polished off a plate of potatoes and a nice chicken pie.

All I could think of was that while I'd been stuck on that flipping stirrup couch thing listening to the speculum creak open like an iron maiden, he'd been in the pub enjoying a pint and a hot meal.

I was so angry I just walked out and he had to chase me across town. I was so fuelled by anger that I managed a four minute mile.

Another driving-related RMM here. I was pregnant in and that proper hormonal, over-reacting to everything phase.

Now, I'm a good driver generally, but I'm rubbish at reverse parking. It's a long-running joke between DH and I that I can't park, and I usually laugh at myself over it.

Usually.

Except this particular time I was trying to reverse park at the side of a main road and was struggling again. DH made a very light-hearted joke, the same as had happened every other time, and I just lost it. At this point the car was obstructing traffic behind me but I cared not a jot. I sat there, ranted for a couple of minutes and then got out of the car, screaming "you fucking do it then you ARSEHOLE". Cue him scampering round the car to park quickly out of sheer embarrassment while I stomped into the shop.

I was ranting at her for having absolutely no ambition in life and how its no wonder Britain lost the Empire.
She is 4. She gazed up at me, whilst picking a large bogie from her nose, and babbled something about the Empire striking back.

Oh my god Tatty, I have actual tears of laughter from reading your post. Hilarious!

I've ranted something similar about how Britain would be in trouble if we went to war again and had to rely on the young people of today going to defend our nation in battle like they did in WW2. Raving about lazy teens etc.
My 14 year old dd just looked at me and rolled her eyes.

I suffer RMM, not as many as I used to but a fairly recent one which got me severely told off in MN was when I chased a man in a van round the streets of SE London. He'd called me a 'fat cunt' & I just flipped. We did a very slow chase, averaging about 10mph as every road round here is full of speed bumps. I was gripping the wheel and seething, muttering all the while, things like "oh yeah, I'm following you, are you scared? Hmmm?" And other rather more sweary phrases.
I was a very considerate road user during my very low speed chase though, I indicated at junctions and once, stopped to let a man cross the road.
I followed that bloke for a good 30 minutes before I calmed down & drove off, he was getting a bit scared I think, he kept going round & round the same streets in an attempt to shake me off.
I finally ended it with a victorious one finger salute out of the car window when I let him turn into a road without following him.
I can just imagine him telling people, "yeah, this mad fat woman drove behind me for ages in Lewisham today, shouting & screaming she was".

Hurr1cane, you were definitely not being ridiculous. Hope your son is okay

My RMM still fills me with shame.
I was 12 weeks pg with DD and was shopping with DS, who was two, in the trolley.
I felt like poo. Had all day sickness and was getting very little sleep.
The shop was heaving.
The girl on the till fired all my shopping through at a rate of knots. I couldn't keep up. Why I didn't just ask her to slow down I do not know.
When she'd finished and I still had a pile of stuff to pack she told me the total.
To my shame I muttered 'you'll just have to wait won't you'
She looked at me and then I just lost the plot. Yelled at her about firing my shopping at me, not offering to help pack.
I got out to the car, burst into tears, drove home sobbing and then rang the shop to apologise. I sent a card via customer services to be given to the poor girl.
I am still so ashamed of myself.

Germgirl I have some sympathy I think women put up with so much every day sexism and other shit, that sometimes it's just one little thing that tips us over. When I was younger I used to stew or rage in my head for hours or even days about some random comment - this was in London, so usually rude or aggressive, on the street, most often a man.

Now at least I'm aware of what triggers me, and that I can choose not to react - but still, blimey, nothing like a rude white van driver who clearly thinks i ought to be back in the kitchen to press all my buttons

Phew! At least it's not just me then

The shame that comes after the rage passes is almost unbearable though.

I have once, had to buy chocolates for a lot of staff in DSs first special school when one of the teachers spoke to him badly. I had gone through years of him being emotionally and in one case, physically abused in a mainstream school. Ending in social service and police involvement. The new school for the first year had spent months getting him his self esteem back and dealt with any behaviour very carefully, talking about the behaviour being bad and not him. This was a new school year with a new teacher.

DS came home and echoed the phrase "you are not welcome in this classroom" and then said "DS not go school, DS not welcome now" with a heartbroken look.

I stewed all night. Marched him into school the following morning, at which point a lovely TA said "oh I'll take him down" to which I replied "no you will not! He's not stepping foot anywhere without me in THIS school, I want to see the head"

Then the head teacher came out and I said "I'm pulling him out and I'm home schooling him, I've had enough of people like you talking to my little boy like that! You are not having him" then promptly burst into tears

To her absolute credit she sat DS down with some colouring, got me a brew and went through what was said, went off, spoke to the teacher, came back and said that she wasn't aware of the previous issues, she hadn't thought and she was very sorry and wanted to meet with me to discuss how they could help DS.

All very reasonable and lovely.

It made me feel like a right tit.

I think I spent a fortune in chocolates and cards that afternoon....

neverputasockinatoaster How lovely of you to have sent the card though!

I've been that girl on the checkout. 1 saturday evening around half 7 shop was really quiet, it was summer everyone out and loads had called in "sick" to enjoy the nice weather so we were really short staffed.

Lady, husband and her mum comes to my checkout, i worked in asda were the motto was if you had forgot something it was our job to get someone to go back for it for you. On this occassion the lady put her shopping down (ill never forget it) a packet of biscuits, some toilet rolls and a hair dye, then as she goes to the other end to grab a bag she barks at me " ive forgotten juice, can you get someone to get it for me" Im secretly thinking there are 3 of you why cant 1 of you go back for it but instead tell her, there are no runners on tonight, just the manager who is running round for everyone else too so there may be a bit of a wait.

Suddenly she exploded at me as if id just told her we sold the last drop of juice in the world half an hour ago..... everything was my fault, blah blah blah, why couldnt i get off my arse to get it for her - err cos i wasn't allowed to leave my till. I was fighting tears at this point a i hated the job anyway and had done nothing to her for this rant at all. Her husband stood at the end of the till with her head down not making eye contact while she ranted. eventually he said ill go get it myself.

I did her card payment and checked the signature etc then had it in my hand to give back to her but she was messing with the trolley so i just popped it on the side so i could serve the next person - her mum.

Her mum was lovely, very chatty, she didn't apologise but she did talk to me like a human. during serving her mum the woman comes back to scream at me yet again while picking her card and receipt up " oh are these mine, shall I take pick them up and do your job for you, you rude fucking cow".

I carried on serving the mother and watched them walk away going up to my manager to inform her of how rude I am, she had a rant at my manager too but she never ever spoke to me about it. I wish id had the balls to shout back to her but i was just a shy quiet 17 year old girl. .

So its really lovely that you recognised you'd been out of order and did something about it. I often wonder what had happened to the moaning cow i served that night to make her like that!

not me but a friend once threw someone through a second floor window!

and yes, it was totally deserved and he was protecting someone else.

honeypie and neverputasockinatoaster it's also worth thinking that in these situations the checkout staff are often under pressure to put items through really quickly regardless of whether the customer can match that speed. Was your scan speed being monitored, honeypie? The other thing I don't get in these jobs is why you have to make small talk when the customer clearly just wants to pack (in their own way, hence not helping them with their packing) and go.

Slight derail, sorry.

PS no one should ever have to put up with this sort of abuse as a regular part of their job. The unions are very keen to point that out.

wol Yes it was actually, id forgotten about that but every now and then the managers would come round with your speed statment. on average how long it takes you to serve someone, anything over 3 minutes (this was in 1999) was considered too long and needed to be speeded up.

The chatty side of it i always hated. But you get secret customers and would get a warning if you were ever found out by one and didn't chat to them. I know its a pain, but I always do talk to them when they talk to me. But its just being friendly anyway doesn't take much effort to say hiya back.

My red mist moment was thwarted by the other person running away.

Busy peak hour roundabout. Arguing overtired kids in the back seat.

Numpty behind me decides that I needed to go, even though going would have resulted in a horrible crash.

So he beeps and beeps and BEEPS and finally I slam open my door and start to get out of the car.

At which point Mr Beepy decides that actually he really wanted to go in the direction he had come from and chucks a hasty u-turn over the median strip and drives away.

I am ashamed to say I shouted 'Yeah, you had better run!'.

My poor kids were freaked.

Sometimes you have just had enough.

YANBU.

@Morloth

I did the same thing with a bunch of red-light running cyclists in Cambridge - I had to screech to a halt so as not to mow them down then jumped out and yelled curses at their retreating bottoms from the middle of the junction - DP tried to hide under the seat ...