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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To never donate to charity via text again

159 replies

MoistSponge · 30/09/2014 20:32

A couple of weeks ago I saw a really heart rending "advert" for a UNICEF appeal for the people suffering in the Southern Sudan.

The images were harrowing, those poor little children, and so I texted and donated a fiver.

Since then I have received three phone calls asking me to donate more - the first two calls were both received while I was driving, so I quickly told them that I already have direct debits set up for my charitable donations and that I wouldn't be able to commit to anything further, but I didn't let them go into their full spiel as I was on Bluetooth.

Tonight I received a call again, and I started straight away telling the man about my direct debits (I sponsor a child in Africa and I have a small monthly DD set up for another charity) and that I wasn't going to be able to give anymore - and then the "hard sell" started. Lots of very emotive language about the children dying and that famine is coming; lots of "buttering me up" telling me I have a good soul and he could hear it beating from me Hmm and that I'm clearly very intelligent and blah, blah, blah. It was pretty relentless to be honest and I felt very uncomfortable having to constantly defend myself by telling him that I can't give any more money. In the end I told him that I am on a low income, I'm a single parent to two children and I cannot afford anymore, I told him that five pounds is a lot of money to me but I had still given it with a full heart but that I CANNOT GIVE ANY MORE.

Fucking hell. This isn't the first time this sort of thing has happened. I did the Race For Life for a few years, raising not huge amounts but a few hundred pounds in sponsorship. I get a phone all every year asking me for more and even though I tell them that I already give to my nominated charities they just won't stop.

I really want to complain to UNICEF TBH, the call came from a fund raising company that they are using, but it almost felt like talking to a bloody double glazing company or worse...timeshare! And the other thing is that they could be using this very aggressive technique on people who are more vulnerable than me and it just feels wrong. It has completely put me off donating by text to anything ever again, AIBU?

OP posts:
BrianButterfield · 30/09/2014 21:38

Same here. But as soon as they say they're from UNICEF I hang up - I'm not going to give them any money so there's no point us even having the conversation. Maybe it's rude but I suppose it lets them have a chance to make their money somewhere else as I simply will not give if pestered in this way.

They phoned you! You can hang up! You owe them nothing.

Calaveras · 30/09/2014 21:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KissMyFatArse · 30/09/2014 21:41

UNICEF have called me 3 times the past few weeks too, have blocked their number each time but they call back from a diff one?

I hate refusing charity but I also hate cold calls or being pushed into it! It makes me not want to donate to those particular charities again Hmm

trixymalixy · 30/09/2014 21:45

I've told the red cross that if they call me one more time I will cancel my direct debit. They seem to phone every week asking for more. It's driving me nuts!!

SmallBee · 30/09/2014 21:46

I know it's rude but honestly once I realise it's something like this I just say I'm sorry I'm not interested & hang up before giving them time to reply.

LadySybilLikesCake · 30/09/2014 21:48

You need to tell them when you donate that you don't want marketing. If they send you things or ask for more money, you'll never donate to them again. Works for the RSPB.

evelynj · 30/09/2014 21:53

I'm totally disgusted by this-once had a guy calling at my door to get DD for save the children-all my neighbours were doing it etc. after I said I had enough charity commitments & I wasn't for budging, he said 'do you hate kids?'

Wtf? I was livid. This is awful & everyone should complain about charities using tactics like this & divert their contributions elsewhere IMO

Bulbasaur · 30/09/2014 21:55

I just do one time donations via web to charities. I don't think I've ever done text donations. It's just easier to donate via paypal.

LadySybilLikesCake · 30/09/2014 21:56

Just tell them that you already donate to them and they smile before buggering off.

BuildYourOwnSnowman · 30/09/2014 21:59

Well that's a chuggers favourite - try and catch your eye and ask a provocative question that when you reply 'no' in a not today way it actually comes across that you're a heartless bitch

Eg do you want to stop animals being skinned alive?
Do you want to stop children being abused?

The whole way charities try and manipulate people really pisses me off!

The number of charities I donate to has reduced considerably over the years. I always check their accounts first and it still amazes me the number of charities that have connected parties that benefit financially from that link.

whatever5 · 30/09/2014 22:00

I can see why they do at as people who have donated money once are quite likely to donate again. There is no excuse for harassing people though and I'm sure they're not supposed to do that.

I always avoid giving my address or phone number when I donate money and that seems to work as I haven't been hassled for years despite having several direct debits set up to various charities.

TheBogQueen · 30/09/2014 22:01

I've had this with guide dogs fir the blind
"So you can't afford a couple more pounds a month?"

"No I can't I have 3 children and work nights in a call centre to lay the bills "

Ffs it puts me right off ever donating again.

LEMmingaround · 30/09/2014 22:02

Happens to me too - i like that i can give the odd fiver by text WHEN i can afford it. And yes its only £5 a month or whatever but if im overdrawn that fiver would cost me £17 in bank charges.

The calls i get are from Guernsey i just dont answer anymore.

cozietoesie · 30/09/2014 22:14

All of this would drive me demented. Many many years ago I started donating via dd to MSF and I think in all that time, they've only approached me once - via letter to confirm gift aid status. Maybe their stance on not contacting donors unnecessarily means they don't get as much short term income as some charities but I find it immensely reassuring.

Janethegirl · 30/09/2014 22:20

I did the McMillan great night in too and have had loads of calls and mail, never ever again! May send them the odd cheque now and again because I think they do good work, but the amount of money they must piss up the wall in phone calls makes me wonder if I should.

Didyouevah · 30/09/2014 22:26

Same here re Unicef. Nightmare.

I think I went on their website and complained. It did stop then.

insanityscratching · 30/09/2014 22:27

I'm getting harassed by The Children's Society that I initially made a donation too quite happily. I was then bombarded with texts asking for more and when I managed to opt out of them (although they have since started again) I got phone calls. Never again will I donate to this charity and it doesn't seem to matter that I have already told them this the calls and texts continue.

MrsHathaway · 30/09/2014 22:29

I used to have an NSPCC direct debit but cancelled it after that kind of "sales" call.

And I tell chuggers I won't be stopping, without breaking stride. Sometimes they chase me down the road, but a cheerful "I don't talk to chuggers" has got the message across actually the last bloke was really offended.

YANBU. The tactics might work on some people, but that doesn't mean they'll work on you, nor that you should have to put up with it.

starlight1234 · 30/09/2014 22:30

Calaveras I had exactly the same thing reported a neighbours dog they sent me raffle tickets and all sorts to sell

Pilgit · 30/09/2014 22:33

A few strategies for dealing with them:

  1. do not engage - just say no
  2. use my husbands tactic - 'my wife won't let me givery money to cold callers' repeat as necessary. (Yes he has a mind of his own and I don't really 'stop' him but he has been talked into all sorts of crap on the door....)
  3. use the children 'oh bugger they'very pulled the TV off the wall again' or 'erm gotta go small child has found matches and is chasing the cat with intent' - doesn't have to be true - it's the phone not TV
  4. just hang up - don't engage.

And always remember charity is voluntary and you have every right to say no without guilt.

sarahbanshee · 30/09/2014 22:38

Please do give the charity feedback if you ever have an experience that makes you feel uncomfortable or puts you off giving to them again. They need to know whether a company they are using (or a member of their own staff) is damaging their reputation.

fairyfuckwings · 30/09/2014 22:49

Same here with NSPCC. Charity is big business.

BlinkAndMiss · 30/09/2014 22:56

I cancelled my direct debit to Save the Children after they phoned to ask me to increase it. I told them I couldn't afford to increase it, they even suggested an amount and then another amount when I said no. The woman was so pushy, she continued to tell me what they'd be able to do with more money and basically made me feel awful. I honestly couldn't afford to give any more, after a few days of feeling like crap about it I pulled myself together and cancelled it. I still donate when it doesn't involve anything electronic.

smaths · 30/09/2014 22:57

Before I even opened the thread I wondered if it was unicef. Because those bastards pestered me for years after I made a spontaneous donation in response to a TV appeal, until I moved house and changed phone numbers. Hate them!

Bakeoffcakes · 30/09/2014 22:57

I hate this.

I now just say "I'm really sorry Im not interested, I don't want you to call again" I feel very rude, but you can only give so much.