To be tired of teachers exaggerating

[onarailwaytrain]

Dd and DS (twins) in year 11 at the moment and all we have heard is how they have to get their GCSEs, their lives will be ruined if they don't, they will never get to college and never get a good job. Etc.

Dd in particular is unlikely to get many cs or above. AIBU in thinking the teachers should back off a bit?

I don't really know.

I suppose a wee bit of sharing in my ruffled feathers, as they were/are. I wasn't and am not fuming, raging, beating my chest with anger, just a bit and thinking the teachers should show a little more tact.

I became upset with the posts that insisted my DCs should be able to do X if they could only do Y. I was put out by the post that insinuated I had a crap job due to crap qualifications!

But I am moreover (I'm sorry but I have to say it) irritable at the way I have been accused of teacher bashing, when I'm not, and the way it's all turned into "poor teachers". It does sometimes seem teachers have it win win on here at any rate. Good teachers are saints, bad teachers - well who can blame them, it's the stress and the pressure.

Yet interestingly the teachers can do certain things because they are under pressure but my DCs can't be upset because they also are being put under pressure.

Fwiw the teachers mean no real harm which is why I haven't complained but I do wish people would appreciate some DCs are lazy but others would love the luxury of idleness!

Chile, sorry but sarcasm, shouting and mean remarks aren't going to pay your mortgage are they?

Not saying you are doing this but you're defending this with the argument that you have to pay your mortgage

You're cross at the way the government are forcing children to all get certain grades. Teachers are cross with the way the government are forcing the children to all get certain grades.

You're fighting against the same issue!

I believe it was you who said you only started the thread because you wanted sympathy and understanding (or words to that effect).

I don't really do plain sympathy I'm afraid. If I think a situation is unfair enough for someone to deserve sympathy, then it is unfair enough to take action. Otherwise it is just empty words.

Not quite! :)

If someone can get good grades they should and should be encouraged to do so. But comments like

'Do you want to work in KFC for the rest of your life?'
'Its pointless moaning about your uniforms, if you work in MacDonalds you will have to wear one and you will only be able to get a job there the way you are going!'
'If you don't pass GCSEs you will never get a job'
'You will end up on the dole and if you think that's a lot of money think again.'

Now sorry the government aren't making the teachers say these things are they?

Blame the government and they are far from perfect but these things are coming out of the mouths of teachers not MPs. (By the way comments relayed to the class in general not my DCs specifically)

Taking action would mean complaining to the school and I'm not doing that because I am sympathetic to the strain teachers are under. I'm still pissed off though.

No I'm afraid I'm not going to Do Something to get your approval.

Taking action would be writing to your MP, perhaps?

There's something wrong with the system which means your DC are suffering but you can't be bothered to do something about changing it. Bizarre.

Quite frankly, you haven't got my approval! Nor much of my sympathy anymore.

Apologies I haven't read the whole thread. I did read the first 4 pages or so so I am not sure what's been suggested. Has your ds had a recent assessment for his dyslexia? The school should have organised this, depending on his scores he may be able to get a scribe. the JCQ guidelines for exam accommodations is available on line and you could check his scores against what he should be getting. A computer reader is now allowed in all exams, even reading for children with certain scores. If it is too late for this a reading pen is allowed, it scans text and he could wear headphones to hear the text if this would help him to read?

At least your children know you are behind them and that should count for a lot. There is so much pressure on young people today, it really is disgraceful!

What are you planning/hoping for your DC to do next? Can you encourage them to spend some time with some adults who are not teachers and might have a different perspective on what's important?

Do they have any particular non academic talents or interests?

All OP did was ask if she was wrong to want the teachers to back off a bit. To stop chipping away at her children's confidence. I don't see how writing to her MP would make sense.

I give up. I haven't shouted. If I have been mean or sarcastic I apologise.
Best of luck to you.

And I'm sorry but children get one chance of an educational experience in their lives. One shot. They are vulnerable. The political pressure on a teachers job should not cause teachers to intimidate students.

That's the thing, mrs. :)

My mp isn't sneering at a job in KFC after all!

DCs know what they want to do next, I'm sure they will be good at it. :)

What Permanently said.

This had not changed really for years. I used to ( 15 years ago) take 'Life Skills' students from a local school, they were not expected to do well academically and often were disenchanted so school was delighted to send then out to 'work' for a day or two a week.

One girl stayed with me for 6 years after leaving school with one grade D in textiles. She was sadly barely numerate or literate but a great worker. She worked hard but could never get her NVQ qualifications as she could not pass the basic maths and English qualifications, despite my efforts to teach her simple fractions and number sums (I am a Maths graduate) she learned lots but had no basic concept of number, (sent to count things could be out by a factor of x 100) She could not cope with the endless paper work required for NVQ nor would her assessors accept recorded aural or pictorial evidence.

There are a lot of people out their capable of good work for understanding employers who are being swept aside by the insistence on certification.

Op you havent said what support your dc get and what they have available for the exams- scribe, reader, laptop etc.

It also sounds as though you havent had regular input into ieps, strategy meetings etc.

I think that given your last teacher request was yr1 then you are entitled to go into the school to have your questions answered.

I would suggest a meeting with hoy, pastoral care team, form tutor and senco is a good place to start.

Questions I would be asking:
What can I do to support them?
Why are you allowing teachers to demotivate them?
What help are they entitled to?
What help do they currently have?
What is in place to help them through the exams?
How are they on their ieps?

Read the equalities act, it applies in schools. Be prepared to tell the school your expectations.

Taking action would mean complaining to the school and I'm not doing that because I am sympathetic to the strain teachers are under.

Why would it have to be a complaint can't you express concern about your DC without it being a complaint - it may be their interpretation of what was said rather than what was said but even then it's impact on your DC is apparently concerning and most schools surely would want to be aware. It also gives the school/staff a chance to adjust their language and reassure and re-motivate your DC.

Plus it then gives chance to raise other concerns - like the support being offered - and what need to be done to access additional support in exams.

I'd also be wanting to explore Dyscalculia for your DD and getting school views on that - at least to start with.

I'm not trying to be patronising - but have your tried on-line maths sites for your DD - just in case it's not? It helps my DC having a machine help them, to replay explanations again and again and to go over daily tll concepts till they sink in. I'm dyslexic and there was a time I was so fed up with harping on about my spelling I couldn't bare corrections or helpful advice - spell checkers on word processor were a god send there - no judgement. It was a similar pattern with DS - plus it takes along tome for concepts to go in.

Sometime it's not the first or second time things go in but 31 or 51 - so having something on-line that doesn't get impatient with constant explanations.

www.khanacademy.org This one is free - so all it would take up is time.

I respect teachers and know most work really hard - but when it comes to my DC I'm not going to let that stop me fighting my DC corners - I'll be polite and I don't always what I think is needed - but raising concerns everyone should be professional enough to deal with that.

I would also have though sitting down and working our their options career wise would help point out that even if teachers were saying this ( and by secondary surely they must know teachers aren't always right ) that they know it's not true for them as they'd have a plan.

Thanks Raven for you post on page 14 at 17.13 PM.

That explains a lot , and shows that an ex P.e teacher I know talks "bullshit" after a couple of carafes of wine. She would tell me that she was earning £50k PA and that was 'top' of the non management scale. Another thing she used to brag about was leaving the minute the bell rung (and all the idiots who stayed two hours later) and that the reason she was in teaching was for the holidays (P.S ex Junior International Hockey Player). She also said that teaching the kids Hockey was 'dangerous'
because in the hands of the pupils, the sticks were weapons. This bile continued with more venom with every drink.

You will be pleased to know she is no longer in teaching, resigning two weeks after telling people in the PUB ' that she had been graded outstanding' by Ofsted.

What greynut says - hard workers are what everyone moans about the UK being short of - but they're out there but no one really wants or encourages them but they are so needed. I had a summer job way back in 1977, total hard graft but what an eye opener, so much so I gave up the grammar-Oxford trajectory and stuck with that until I was 40 - not only have I met so many truly intelligent people along that path (most without certifications,etc) that when I crossed-over back into the so-called 'academic to professional' world what struck me was how noticeable the basic 'stupidity' of the well-qualified actually is.
I came full-circle in my understanding that how I instinctively felt all those years ago was actually true - and no wonder that our educational system amongst others doesn't work properly. Too many self-serving people that won't challenge the status quo because they "have mortgages to pay", expecting great appreciation for great mediocrity and an awful lot of moaning/exagerrating.

And I hate the overuse of the word "professional".

OP we need more kids like yours and more parents like you that encourage them in their actual worth - because for sure they have a much needed value and it's about time this 'value' was given more recognition. Well done you for holding firm on this thread.

OP, I really don't understand why you're unwilling to approach the school on this. As a year 11 form tutor, I have had contact from two parents this year letting me know that their DC are starting to feel the pressure and that it's affecting their lives negatively. I have sent the "please back off" message out to all my colleagues via our school email system. Many teens don't necessarily behave publicly as if they are finding things difficult so unless the parent raises the issue, we can't know how individuals are feeling. For example, one of my tutees is a very hard worker with huge talents in art and English. She sat her English lit GCSE a year early, and so school suggested that she might like to start AS this year. She said ok but once this term started, realised that the time spent doing the AS was putting too much pressure on. But she didn't tell us. So we assumed that it was ok. But then her mum called me and we talked about it and now she's not doing the AS. But we wouldn't have known unless her parents had told me!

Because evil twins, teachers can become a little defensive if you criticise them.

So you would rather let your children be unhappy than actually address the issue. I'm starting to think that the biggest issue here is your refusal to actually do anything.

Thinking of you OP it is all very tough. My mum has dementia so I am very glad people do the jobs you do.

I have had lots of issues about school with my non-adopted dyslexic dd and expect to have more with my adopted ds because I am holding him back a while which the teacher seems to disagree with even though he is only 4! Personally, I have always found it easier (for me) to speak to school about any issues, if my dd wanted me to. It stopped me fuming and helped me work things through. But I always asked her how she felt about me speaking to school. Luckily no issues were very big and she always wanted me to intervene and speak up for her. Some kids will not.

You will do, I am sure what is right for your kids and I wish you all the very best. One of the smartest people I ever knew was my dad, who left school at 15 (back in the dark ages) became an amazing carpenter and joiner and maker of lovely things and lived a long and happy life. All the best to you and your dcs.

PS I am not sure the government will have the time or money to fund this crack pot scheme as according to the BBC The Association of Colleges think they will need a lot more English and Maths teachers.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-23925033

"Head teachers said they supported the principle of the change but there was "genuine confusion" about how it would be implemented.

The Association of Colleges says it will require 1,100 extra maths teachers and 1,000 more English teachers."

With any luck (IMHO) the Tories will be out soon and a new (possibly equally crackpot scheme) will be in place!

OP I am really failing to understand you. You say that this pressure is making your DC miserable yet you refuse to do anything about it in case teachers are defensive. How will they know if no one tells them? I had an email from a year 11 boy's sister today to tell me that her brother was at home in tears. The boy himself would never ever admit to us that he is feeling the pressure that he is. Thank goodness his big sister took it into her own hands. Otherwise how can schools change their approach??