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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be tired of teachers exaggerating

454 replies

onarailwaytrain · 29/09/2014 22:19

Dd and DS (twins) in year 11 at the moment and all we have heard is how they have to get their GCSEs, their lives will be ruined if they don't, they will never get to college and never get a good job. Etc.

Dd in particular is unlikely to get many cs or above. AIBU in thinking the teachers should back off a bit?

OP posts:
katandkits · 29/09/2014 22:23

I would think it a good thing that the teachers at least care about your children's life chances. If they give up on them they would not be doing their job.

Roseformeplease · 29/09/2014 22:23

Teachers are under enormous pressure to produce results and do what they can to motivate pupils and parents. No, it won't be the end of the world but it always sad when someone does not reach their potential and limits their options. Why not support the school?

Original poster
onarailwaytrain · 29/09/2014 22:25

Because they don't have that potential, to be frank.

I'll support them where I can obviously but their talents don't lie in academics.

OP posts:
RJnomore · 29/09/2014 22:26

But it isn't always about reaching potential, there is so much pressure on that the stress can hav a terrible effect on the mental health of some teenagers. Unfortunately a lot of it is driven by targets and not from genuine support. And convincing a young person their life is practically over if something goes wrong at such an early age is hardly building resilience.

The problem lies with Thr system and not the teacher though. Stress for everyone.

BackforGood · 29/09/2014 22:28

Many, many, many Yr11s (I have one, and have already had another one 3 yrs ago) do need it drumming into them how important it is that they work and achieve their potential this year. It's just not a 'natural' thing for most 15 yr olds to want to do, so I'd be pleased if the school were giving a consistent message like this.
Of course, we as adults know that it's not the end of the world if they don't do as well as they could, but we also know it makes life a LOT harder and it limits their options considerably. Most 15 yr olds do better with a consistent message that it is very important they work hard and try to achieve the best they can this year.

jellybelly701 · 29/09/2014 22:28

My maths teacher told me I would end up working in McDonald's if I didn't get a c in maths. Not surprisingly this didn't help me suddenly grasp maths or do well in my exams.

YANBU

BackforGood · 29/09/2014 22:29

(x-posted) Presumably they do have the potential to achieve the exams they are entered for though, or they would have been steered down an alternative route.

chilephilly · 29/09/2014 22:29

I'm a teacher. My salary is tied to your child's results. If they don't get them, I can't pay my mortgage.
This is (very simplified) Tory education policy.
Make some suggestions.

Original poster
onarailwaytrain · 29/09/2014 22:29

Yes, I can see that.

It would be nice if it was acknowledged that although they are unlikely to get more than six GCSEs between them, they've never been in trouble, helped at event evenings, listened to younger children read, held doors open for teachers, helped teachers carry books to their cars (DS) helped the librarian clear up after a particularly rowdy lunch time (dd) - they've enjoyed their time at school and they are literate and numerate. No, they won't be going onto higher education but they will work and do well at what they do, I am sure.

It's just a bit sad that they have to listen to the fact that isn't good enough.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 29/09/2014 22:30

But the truth is many doors will be closed to them without these qualifications. Perhaps you should be glad they care about your kids and think they are capable of such achievement?

Original poster
onarailwaytrain · 29/09/2014 22:31

Excuse me chile but frankly YOU make some suggestions. Your salary and mortgage aren't my problem, my 16 year old in tears because she doesn't want to work in KFC for the rest of her life is.

OP posts:
whois · 29/09/2014 22:33

Well, it's not ideal not getting a decent clutch of GCSES. Not having 5 inc maths and English at C+ holds you back even for vocational courses.

Original poster
onarailwaytrain · 29/09/2014 22:33

Wolfie, I'm assuming you don't have the potential to be an Olympic athlete.

How would you feel if you went into work tomorrow and were told you had to be one? How would you feel if you were told, repeatedly, that the only way to have happiness and success would be to be an Olympic athlete? And heard that every day for 2 years?

Might that not impact on your self esteem a bit?

OP posts:
ddubsgirl77 · 29/09/2014 22:34

Nothings changed a friend who was year above me was told by a teacher rhat she was a fat lazy good for nothing child and would fail all her exams and live on benefits shes now matron level in nhs at the time it was very harsh but it did spur her on to prove the teacher wrong!

Original poster
onarailwaytrain · 29/09/2014 22:34

They didn't choose to not be academic, whois.

They just aren't.

They're still great kids :)

OP posts:
madamemuddle · 29/09/2014 22:34

My ex boss is very successful and has made an awful lot of money. His headmaster told his parents he was probably going to end up as a drug dealer.

YANBU

ilovesooty · 29/09/2014 22:34

The fact that your children are being encouraged to strive for the best they can manage academically doesn't mean that their personal attributes aren't recognised.

chilephilly · 29/09/2014 22:35

Tell me about it onarailwaytrain. A lot of my job is in pastoral care and I pick up the pieces of this. I am a Union rep as well. We are shouting like mad. We need parents to tell MPs the system is silly. The teachers who teach your child are in the same boat as me. It is stupid, and people need to be saying this to anyone who will listen.

Coolas · 29/09/2014 22:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FlowersForAlgernon · 29/09/2014 22:36

What kind of job can you see them doing?

Why if they're literate and numerate (and you are clearly very literate) do you think they can't get Cs?

Original poster
onarailwaytrain · 29/09/2014 22:37

It isn't the best they can manage ilovesooty - it's a C or above.

Dd will probably manage this in textiles, child development, maybe, MAYBE English. I honestly think there is more chance of a cold day in hell than her getting her maths.

DS may get pe, possibly RE, maybe maths. I can't see him getting his English.

I do understand the teachers are trying to motivate but it's having the opposite effect here - hung for a sheep as well as for a lamb "well if I'm never going to achieve anything without English/maths/science what is the point trying for anything"

OP posts:
Pipbin · 29/09/2014 22:38

What options are open to them if they don't get any GCSEs?

they've never been in trouble, helped at event evenings, listened to younger children read, held doors open for teachers, helped teachers carry books to their cars (DS) helped the librarian clear up after a particularly rowdy lunch time (dd) - they've enjoyed their time at school and they are literate and numerate. No, they won't be going onto higher education but they will work and do well at what they do, I am sure.

They sound like lovely kids. I hate to say it though that being lovely doesn't pay the bills.
The teachers must think that they stand a chance of getting some GCSEs because otherwise they couldn't be putting them in for it or worrying you.

Bakeoffcakes · 29/09/2014 22:38

How is teachers pay linked to results? I've missed that!

jezzapaxmanslovechild · 29/09/2014 22:38

Onarailwaytrain - they sound lovely children - you must be proud of them! What do they like to do? What interests and excites them? Not everyone is academic and they sound like they are great people who like everyone needs to find their own niche Smile

chicaguapa · 29/09/2014 22:39

Excuse me chile but frankly YOU make some suggestions

WTF? Didn't the teachers get hauled over the coals for daring to go on strike about this? Just goes you can't please everyone. Hmm

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