To be tired of teachers exaggerating

[onarailwaytrain]

Dd and DS (twins) in year 11 at the moment and all we have heard is how they have to get their GCSEs, their lives will be ruined if they don't, they will never get to college and never get a good job. Etc.

Dd in particular is unlikely to get many cs or above. AIBU in thinking the teachers should back off a bit?

onarailwaytrain
What do you see your children doing next year? What are their interests? If they go to the local HE college then there are a range of NVQ courses that do not require 5 good GCSEs.

I used to work at a special school where the kids did entry level certificates instead of GCSE as they had such limited academic ablity. They did an intermediate year or two to bring them up to a standard where they could get on a mainstream NVQ course. NVQ level 3 is the equivalent standard of an A-level and its possible to get into (a newer) university with vocational qualifications if someone wants to.

I think if they work hard you may be pleasantly surprised, GCSEs are important. your dc sound lovely.

If they can get D grades then it is in their interest (and unfortunately that of the school) to try to get them C grades.
Schools and students are judged by results.
I've left teaching partly for that reason BTW. I think students should be encouraged to do THEIR best (rather than what anyone else thinks they should do.)
I agree with other posters that your kids sound lovely.
Good luck to them.

I feel sorry for everyone. The pressure is horrendous.

Go to www.nut.org.uk and have a look at the Manifesto for Education. We are trying to address this but we need the help of parents. (It will involve strike action, sorry )

Coolas if you read my posts you will see I have had the utmost respect for teachers for years but I'm sorry, when I've got two depressed, withdrawn, unhappy young people on a daily basis I reserve the right to be upset about it.

The system might be at fault but is telling fifteen and sixteen year olds that they will only ever be able to work in KFC/McDonald's helping? I don't think it is. It is very distressing for the twins to hear this on a daily basis. After all I know I wouldn't like it if someone kept telling me I had to do something I just wasn't capable of! Individual teachers can decide how to motivate their classes and I feel this is not the best way. It's also insulting to people who haven't got good GCSEs but have managed to work hard and have a good life anyway.

As for what will they do next year, neither have fully decided but probably NVQs. Maybe DD will stay in at KFC full time, I'd still be proud of her as she works hard.

I presume that the OP's children have SEN of some sort, so telling her that they need to buckle down and work harder isn't really helpful.

I get where you are coming from, OP. A person's value cannot only be measured in terms of their academic achievement, and it sounds like they have some lovely qualities. It's natural that you should want to see those positives being valued and acknowledged.

At the same time, I get where the teachers are coming from. They are under pressure to get results, and they will suffer financially if the kids won't work. It's also very true that your options are severely limited without a decent collection of GCSEs. Unfortunately, that's just the reality.

If you're concerned that your kids are severely affected by this - and it sounds like they are - perhaps you should have a word with the school. I'm sure that they are intending to give most kids a much-needed kick up the arse, rather than to leave them despairing for their futures.

Coolas.....acucumber? We have met before I think?

Sorry, massive cross post! Too slow to type!

OP - from what you've said both your children have SEN. Dyslexia and memory problems.

Are they on the SEN register? Have you spoken to the SENCO recently? Are they getting all the help they're entitled to?

For example is your DS getting a reader in his exams?

Besides English you can pass most GCSEs even if you can't read.

The memory problems are harder to deal with but it's still worth checking she's getting all the help she can get.

For exams you can have readers and scribes and extra time.

Chile I am right behind you with strikes, with zero tolerance to bad behaviour and with everything.

But if all my children do in their lives is work in KFC, they are still awesome, and I would like to respectfully ask that teachers remember that they may get carried away addressing the class but someone will be listening and taking those words very literally.

Believe me my children have really genuinely thought they had a life at the dole queue lined up for them.

apologies op but I think you are being massively unreasonable. the teachers are desperately trying to give your kids the best chance and you are coming across like you don't give a toss that they will only get 6 between them (I am sure that isn't your intention however).

unfortunately without maths and English at c or above even KFC may not employ your kids. that isn't Mr being nasty, it is fact. the minimum requirement for virtually everything is 5 GCSE grade c or above.

if the method of teaching isn't right for your kids have you considered private tutoring to help them or speaking to the school about how to help them develop?

kids learning isn't just down to the teachers, as parents we need to take responsibility and some degree of control.

I don't agree that exam results are that impotant. I know lots and lots of people who have far better careers than me with no GCSEs. I have lots of qualifications and a degree, and it's never really helped me. I think confidence is far more important than any certificate, the last thing students need is teachers undermining that.

Realistic targets are the key. I got my Y8 German target grades today - a top set, a smashing.g hardworking group. They need to be Level 8 by the end of this year.
They have 1 lesson per week.
Thus far they have had 3 lessons. They have just started learning German.
There is a difference between aspirational, ambitious, and just plain silly.

I don't know if I'd say dd has memory problems, she remembers all the lyrics to One Direction songs without any trouble :) but mathematically she struggles hugely, always has.

She had a private tutor for years but it made no difference as she just couldn't remember what she'd learned one session to the next.

DS is on the sen register as school action. Many children at the school have dyslexia. He's not stupid but he probably won't manage a C in English either (hopefully will in Maths.) Neither of them are anything other than ordinary children who just aren't particularly academic. They will put the work in but they lack understanding.

It doesn't mean their time at school has been wasted or that they are deemed to a failing future. Okay they might never be rich, neither are me/DH and we are very happy. That's all I want for DC :)

The thing is, if the teachers are all having to say this to your children, then perhaps, as lovely as they are, they really aren't applying themselves and trying to do their best at school? Just not being overly academic doesn't mean that you don't get to try your hardest. If they have already written themselves off, then perhaps it is the teachers attempting to give them a kick up the backside to knuckle down and try.

I'd like to see a thread where someone (anyone) is grateful for the work teachers do.

I'm grateful. The teachers at dd's school are absolutely bloody fantastic and do an amazing job in spite of all the crap that this government keeps throwing at them. I am incredibly grateful for what they do.

Lol

Your kids are probably not old enough to appreciate the irony of getting that advice from a professional on an average public service salary.

I agree. Telling kids their lives is over is not inspiring, or effective and has the potential to be damaging.

Where's thelight, cross post but we had private tutoring for years with dd. It made no difference, cost a lot of money and made dd very anxious.

KFC already have employed her without any qualifications, I can't see them sacking her next august on receipt of a lack of GCSEs but we will see!

It isn't that I don't give a toss, I just accept them and love them for how they are and there's a lot to love without forcing them to fit a mould they can't. If they WERE academic, I'd be right behind them 100% but they aren't and I would like it if their efforts, their excellent behaviour, attendance, punctuality and general demeanour could be acknowledged without them having to listen to 'if you don't bother working hard and fail your GCSEs you won't even be able to go to college.'

It isn't all teachers but a fair amount are and it's very distressing for the DCs!

I think a c grade equivalent knowledge of English and maths are needed for life beyond school whatever you do. Other subjects perhaps could relax the pressure. Nearly all jobs require c grades in maths and English even those with low salaries these days. Wouldnt a job with cars require maths?

I feel for you. DSD1 and 2 are both not particularly academic. They are, however, both funny, kind and caring and I'm proud to be their SM. They're so much more than their clutch of Ds, Es and DSD2's two Cs.

They were both in different schools for GCSE (we'd moved catchment areas and DSD2 went to the better school as it happened- not academically, but pastorally). It is very obvious- not in their results, but in their confidence. DSD1 was on fluoxetine and still goes to CBT for her anxiety. She never 'achieved' anything because her targets were always aiming for the impossible. She wasn't congratulated on getting a D, she was told she needed a C, and she, and the school, knew that wouldn't happen. Thanks to that, she completely lost interest in school. Why put effort in when it wouldn't make any difference?

DSD2 was told she was so much more than her GCSEs. On the careers evenings, she was guided and supported. She wasn't told she'd only end up working at KFC, she was told that there were so many worthwhile, useful and rewarding jobs out there she could do, even if she didn't see it (or the jobs) that way. She wants to be a plumber, as it happens, and is excelling at college.

I get teachers have a lot of pressure, but even just adding on a 'but don't worry, if you don't achieve a C, there are so many options out there, it isn't the be all and end all' when talking about their expected results would help.