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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Alcohol at primary school disco

219 replies

tiredoutgran · 29/09/2014 10:44

or am I just being a miserable old fart? My children attend a primary school that has mainly 'well heeled' families. There is to be a welcome disco for the reception families with the whole school invited, the invite states that alcohol will be available or you can bring your own. Am I wrong in thinking that alcohol does not belong at what is essentially a party for children. I get the impression that all the parents will be sat glugging beer or wine and chatting away whilst totally ignoring what their children are doing. Don't get me wrong, if you have a family/friends party at home and have the odd glass of wine then that is different but I really think that at this sort of thing the booze should be kept out of it.

OP posts:
Ticktockblock · 29/09/2014 10:47

Id feel abit meh about going, I don't like my children around people who I don't know who have been drinking alcohol. Where is it being held?

Got99problems · 29/09/2014 10:51

I'd imagine the purpose of the disco is for the parents to meet, as the children will get to know each other through school. A bit of alcohol would certainly help me in that kind of situation! Lovely of school to arrange this, imo.

Original poster
tiredoutgran · 29/09/2014 10:51

It is at the school, and yes, that is what worries me, it is only on for a couple of hours but I know that is enough for some to get very merry. I don't particularly want the children around alcohol at all, at 4 years old I just don't see the need to have him watching adults glugging back the 'pop'. I know at previous 'do's' some of the dads have definitely being on the wrong side of sober and, judging by the way the mums compete to out dance each other badly I think they have too much as well!

OP posts:
softlysoftly · 29/09/2014 10:52

When I went to my DDs school summer fete to check it out before she attended there was alcohol and I was a bit Hmm

Now she's started the first PTA held event again had alcohol and it actually didn't bother me as noone got drunk or acted inappropriately.

I think it raises money for the school BUT only works if the parents aren't the type to actually get drunk.

Original poster
tiredoutgran · 29/09/2014 10:55

It's a PA do Got99, as are most of the children's events where alcohol is welcome. It just doesn't sit right with me, I think probably, because I have been involved with the school all my life, I don't like how all these things are becoming more a social event for the parents rather than it being about the children.

OP posts:
Wonc · 29/09/2014 10:56

Meh. I'd find it hard to get worked up about this. A glass or two won't hurt anyone and it's not compulsory.

I'm sure not everyone will be drinking and your DC probably won't notice.

jeee · 29/09/2014 10:56

It's one of those class things, though, isn't it? In a 'well-heeled school' where naice parents are bringing wine, it's seen as acceptable. Now insert alcopops and special brew and it doesn't look so good.

I agree with you, OP, I don't think alcohol should have a place in this kind of school social.

Mind you, when I was at a rural primary school, the PTA held a alcohol-free barn dance. One of the local farmers turned up, and whispered to everyone they knew that there was a barrel of scrumpy in the back of the land rover. BY the end of the evening all the parents were sloshed, and as the alcohol-free punch had been spiked all us children were completely out of it.

kslatts · 29/09/2014 10:59

So it's a party for adults and children? I think YABU.

Nanny0gg · 29/09/2014 11:01

I don't particularly want the children around alcohol at all, at 4 years old I just don't see the need to have him watching adults glugging back the 'pop'.

You've never taken them to a wedding, Christening or family party then?
You don't drink at home? Attended a fete or summer party?

Oh.

YABU

Flexibilityisquay · 29/09/2014 11:03

I'm with you OP. I have absolutely no issue with drinking in front of DC's, and often have a glass or two of wine with a friend in the evening while children play. It just seems wrong in a school setting somehow. It only takes one adult, who's had a bad day, and can't take their drink, for the whole thing to go wrong.

ChasbutnotDave · 29/09/2014 11:03

I think that because it's on school grounds it seems a bit inappropriate to have alcohol.
I'd prefer an alcohol free families gathering and then an adults only boozy do off school premises another time.

TryingNotToLaugh · 29/09/2014 11:03

I wouldn't go to this, it doesn't seem to be one thing or the other.

If it's a disco for the kids, then no alcohol is required.

If its a parents social evening, then alcohol ok, but no kids required.

Nanny0gg · 29/09/2014 11:03

When I went to my DDs school summer fete to check it out before she attended there was alcohol and I was a bit hmm

You checked out a fete? What on earth did you think would happen?

Our fete has always had a beer tent. I'm still waiting for the riots...

CiderwithBuda · 29/09/2014 11:03

Well I have been to quite a few school events where alcohol was served and it's never been an issue. Most people have one or two glasses of wine and that's it.

I think it depends on the time of the event too. If it's early evening which it probably is with four year olds I would assume people might have a glass or two.

I wouldn't expect a full bar though!

Nanny0gg · 29/09/2014 11:05

It just seems wrong in a school setting somehow.

FGS! They're not drinking in the middle of geography!

It's a social. Drink is usually available at a social event unless it's a coffee morning!

I am staggered at the responses on here. Really. They're not operating a crack den.

LadyLuck10 · 29/09/2014 11:05

Yabu So you won't take them to a wedding then or any function unless you know every single person so they are deemed fine by you to drink?

NickiFury · 29/09/2014 11:07

I don't drink.

I think it's a bit Po to have a problem with this though.

HolyDrinker · 29/09/2014 11:10

Lol at NannyOgg.

A disco for 4/5 year olds? Jeez, I'd say the school would be BU if they didn't supply some alcohol to help the parents through it.

cricketpitch · 29/09/2014 11:11

Our primary always had alcohol available - wine and beer. In 15 years of going to these events I never once saw any trouble at all.

Alcohol is part of life - if you take kids to a restaurant, wedding, family party, it tends to be available. YABU

Wonc · 29/09/2014 11:12

Toasts Nanny0gg

Just the one mind.

Christinecagney · 29/09/2014 11:13

Worked as a teacher for 20 years in primary. Vast majority of evening school events had a bar run by the PTA, and the beer and Pimms tent at the summer fete was the major money spinner.

Never saw any drunkeness or in appropriate behaviour.

Can't see the problem.

Rawls · 29/09/2014 11:15

I agree NannyOgg if it was BYO Crystal Meth then maybe I would sympathise! I doubt anyone will sit about and get totally shitfaced but surely a glass of wine would help to lubricate why would otherwise be hard work for the parents in terms of small talk!
Also OP you say I get the impression that all the parents will be sat glugging beer or wine and chatting away whilst totally ignoring what their children are doing
why do you get that impression? Has anyone said that or is that something you have imagined a bit?

Original poster
tiredoutgran · 29/09/2014 11:17

boring old fart it is then! Grin

OP posts:
ElizabethMedora · 29/09/2014 11:17

There is no way our school would do this, it's totally alienating to about half the school population (Muslim). YANBU.

AMumInScotland · 29/09/2014 11:17

"I get the impression that all the parents will be sat glugging beer or wine and chatting away whilst totally ignoring what their children are doing"

Is that so much worse than drinking tea or orange juice and ignoring the children?

If people are getting seriously drunk, then I think that's an issue that should be raised with the organisers, but prividing wine and beer at a party which is for adults as well as children is not a problem, to me.