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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Alcohol at primary school disco

219 replies

tiredoutgran · 29/09/2014 10:44

or am I just being a miserable old fart? My children attend a primary school that has mainly 'well heeled' families. There is to be a welcome disco for the reception families with the whole school invited, the invite states that alcohol will be available or you can bring your own. Am I wrong in thinking that alcohol does not belong at what is essentially a party for children. I get the impression that all the parents will be sat glugging beer or wine and chatting away whilst totally ignoring what their children are doing. Don't get me wrong, if you have a family/friends party at home and have the odd glass of wine then that is different but I really think that at this sort of thing the booze should be kept out of it.

OP posts:
MrsWinnibago · 29/09/2014 12:10

explored this is a school disco though! It's not for the parents. If they want to do a "social" meet up for new parents why not have a coffee morning? That's what most do. They're going to alienate Muslims too aren't they.

Choc it's not "hysterical" it's a discussion...where people put forward points of view. I think that people are WAY too relaxed about alcohol given that it causes thousands of deaths on a yearly basis.

TryingNotToLaugh · 29/09/2014 12:12

I agree mrs

I've just added up how many of my kids school discos I've been to. I reckon it's about 24, at least.

There's never any alcohol and it's never occurred to me that there should be. I've always managed to shout at talk to other mums over the din.

I do go to events where kids are playing and adults are drinking, but while my kids are there, I don't drink.

It shocks me (not just on here) how many people need alcohol to socialise.

Chewbecca · 29/09/2014 12:12

Blimey, I clicked on the thread expecting it to be about primary school children drinking alcohol, not their parents. I was pretty horrified at that. But the parents? YABU.

At our school fete you get a free glass of pimms when you buy strawberries, I believe this means you don't need a licence? Similarly with mulled wine at Christmas. At other events (auctions and similar), there will be wine, orange juice and tea/coffee available. People don't get sloshed, it is school and you might have one or two small glasses.

Explored · 29/09/2014 12:13

MrsW, It's a family disco, where parents are expected to socialise and dance Shock I don't think there would be many takers without alcohol

Having worked in the heart of a Muslim community for 23 years, I don't think it would alienate Muslim families at all actually. IME they are perfectly happy to let others drink as much as they like and were very generous with bottles at Christmas.

WorraLiberty · 29/09/2014 12:15

Do you glug your drinks OP, or is 'glugging' just a word you reserve for people drinking alcohol?

Either way I think you've being a bit precious.

I'm 45 years old and my parents used to regularly attend the 'dinner and dance' at my old Primary.

Parents brought their own alcohol they didn't 'glug' it to my knowledge, they just drank it and no children were ignored because if it.

sunnydaylucy · 29/09/2014 12:17

YABU in my opinion. I am not a big drinker so usually drive but my children are often at events where they see adults drinking. I do understand your position about this being a school event but I don't think I have ever been to a school event that doesn't involve some sort of alcohol! (It is a big addition to the fundraising after all)
We are a rural school and I have only heard of one occasion where there was unacceptable behaviour, at the dry school camp over (camp overs don't happen anymore!)

titchy · 29/09/2014 12:17

If it was an event FOR the children then maybe you'd have a point. But it's an event for the PARENTS to get to know each other. They have clearly realised that many parents would be excluded from such an event if it were child-free so they are putting on a disco to keep the kids entertained while the parents get to know each other.

What a lovely community-minded thing for the school to do. Shame on you for pissing on their chips because you're small-minded enough to equate the availability of a glass of wine at a welcome event with getting paralytic.

Sleepwhenidie · 29/09/2014 12:22

I've spent six years on PTA at my DC's primary school - the bar at school social events is how money is raised. Not once have I seen anyone drunk and disorderly, its nice for parents to have a drink and relax, hopefully get to know each other a bit whilst the kids enjoy themselves too. Just because it is at school, doesn't make it any different to a typical social occasion with children and adults in attendance. YABU.

motherinferior · 29/09/2014 12:23

I am going to a PTA meetup for secondary parents in the pub soon.

I don't need alcohol to socialise but I sure as hell need it to get through school events. If they offered it at sports day I might even go.

motherinferior · 29/09/2014 12:24

THis is like the thread where someone was wondering if she could sneak a G&T into the theatre with her to avoid horrendous bar prices and she was being reproved for not being able to get through the evening without alcohol.

FreudiansSlipper · 29/09/2014 12:24

Did you think op because many of the families are well heeled this was less likely to happen

Makes it more bearable how else could I stand having to listen to Katy Perry and Gangman Style

Sleepwhenidie · 29/09/2014 12:25

Oh plenty of Muslim families at our school too, they come to the events and no one has ever expressed an issue with alcohol being present (they do insist on separate bbq grill at summer fair, perfectly understandably, but just to illustrate that they would speak up if they did have a problem).

KiaOraOAotearoa · 29/09/2014 12:25

I don't drink (unless you count the 2-3 glasses of champagne 2-3 times a year), I don't like it.
I don't agree with the schools asking for alcohol bottles for the tombola at the fair, there's no way I am sending my kid with a bottle of wine to school, don't care how popular the stall is.
However, get a grip darlings, it's an occasion for the parents to get to know each other, have a glass of wine...are you for real being that indignant??!!!!

Canyouforgiveher · 29/09/2014 12:26

I don't think I'd get too bothered by this but I can see the OP's point of view. Our school has plenty of events for parents and children together (picnics, pot lucks, graduations etc) - we don't serve alcohol at those as these events are primarily about children and alcohol isn't seen as appropriate (or maybe just because no one thinks of it). When parents socialise by themselves (school also organises parent socials), then there is alcohol same as you would at most adult evening social events.

Of course children will attend lots of events where alcohol is served but that doesn't mean every event has to have alcohol. That's the bit that would bother me - that parents couldn't imagine a family disco, presumably taking place at a relatively early hour, without alcohol.

FreudiansSlipper · 29/09/2014 12:27

Gangnam .... Bloody autocorrect

No complaints from Muslim families I know it's on the DM that seems to be aware of all these horrified Muslims that complain about alcohol, peppy pig and so on

Sleepwhenidie · 29/09/2014 12:29

Worra its not even just 'glugging' now, its slamming Grin!

WorraLiberty · 29/09/2014 12:31

OP, you said I don't particularly want the children around alcohol at all, at 4 years old I just don't see the need to have him watching adults glugging back the 'pop'

How do you cope at weddings and restaurants?

And what's wrong with a child seeing adults drinking alcohol? Confused

WorraLiberty · 29/09/2014 12:32

I'll get the tequila out Sleepwhenidie Grin

Sleepwhenidie · 29/09/2014 12:34

Rightly or wrongly, without alcohol to ease the pain of gangnam style etc and help smalltalk with people you don't know, there undoubtedly be loads of parents negotiating which parent pulls the short straw and has to take the DC's along to the disco. For many the alcohol will change it from something to be endured to what might be ok, possibly quite enjoyable. More likely two parents would come too and as a result of all that, there will be better bonds built between the parent body, which is better for the school.

WorraLiberty · 29/09/2014 12:34

Oh god I've just seen Muslims being dragged into this, like they're going to have an attack of the vapours if they sit there drinking orange juice while the parent next to them glugs sips wine.

There are no words...really there just aren't Grin

Sleepwhenidie · 29/09/2014 12:35

LOL at the idea of lining up the salt and limes in the library worra Grin, I would love to see headmistress's face!

AbsintheMakesTheHeart · 29/09/2014 12:37

There's a huuuuuge difference between drinking alcohol and getting drunk, and between enjoying a glass of wine and needing one.

We had alcohol available at my dds primary events. Some people had it, some people took the soft-drink alternative. I always felt it was a bit of a treat for the grown-ups, in the same way as the sweets and fluorescent Kia-ora drinks available for the kids: not something you'd want to be guzzling in vast quantities, but enjoyable for all that.

WorraLiberty · 29/09/2014 12:38

I imagine the Headmistress will be face down in the sherry trifle Sleep

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 29/09/2014 12:38

I think the definition of hysterical is quoting stats on alcohol deaths in a thread about a few drinks at a school disco.

A few drinks does not a piss soaked tramp make.

Please stop with the religious card too. Muslim parents at our school have no problem with alcohol being served.

If you don't want a glass don't have one.

Seriously some need to calm down or they will need to keep their precious littlies locked up for the next 10 years. No weddings, parties, holidays. Church fetes.

Jeepers.

53Dragon · 29/09/2014 12:40

I was on the PTA at my sons' primary school 10-15 years ago and there was a riot if we didn't offer alcohol. No one behaved inappropriately, most had little or nothing to drink as they were driving the kids home afterwards.
If you're worried about offending Muslims then don't put rashers of bacon on your head. All my Muslim friends are perfectly happy that others drink alcohol. One or two of them do it themselves if they think they can get away with it!

More important not to have food-based events during Ramadan if you ask me.