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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Alcohol at primary school disco

219 replies

tiredoutgran · 29/09/2014 10:44

or am I just being a miserable old fart? My children attend a primary school that has mainly 'well heeled' families. There is to be a welcome disco for the reception families with the whole school invited, the invite states that alcohol will be available or you can bring your own. Am I wrong in thinking that alcohol does not belong at what is essentially a party for children. I get the impression that all the parents will be sat glugging beer or wine and chatting away whilst totally ignoring what their children are doing. Don't get me wrong, if you have a family/friends party at home and have the odd glass of wine then that is different but I really think that at this sort of thing the booze should be kept out of it.

OP posts:
tedmundo · 29/09/2014 13:16

It is possible that I live in a boozy postcode, but I have never attended any school event that didn't have a bar setup in the year 3 classroom! And I include the kiddie bingo night and the kids disco .... where adults don't even enter the school hall.

We just sit in the aforementioned classroom and have a beer or two and try to control the pre schoolers.

Actually, the pre school disco has a drinks bar too now that I think about it.

I am organising the school disco right now and the Costco order looks a bit like this..

Haribo
Glo sticks
Booze

Vintagejazz · 29/09/2014 13:16

I don't get all the shock and disapproval. The vast majority of people drink sensibly, especially at formal events and when their children are present. I doubt the parents are going to be buckled, getting into fights and throwing up in the sand pit.
It sounds like parents are being facilitated to have a social drink or two if they wish, with a lot declining because they're driving or whatever. Not like a big booze up in the assembly hall.
From the title of your thread I thought the children were being offered alcohol at their end of term disco.

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 29/09/2014 13:18

I love the parallel universe of mumsnet.

Never heard of a school that has an alcohol ban from events like these.

What a fuss.

As for the warm wine. Ours was always chilled.

Grin
MrsWinnibago · 29/09/2014 13:18

Fletcher an ordinary state primary in a small village. Nobody drinks at the fetes or discos or any events connected to the school!

They certainly don't get a sweat on when there's none on offer anyway! We have the odd parents night out...I have a drink now and then too! I'm not anti it at all but I don't think it has a place where children are. It makes adults act in stupid ways.

TryingNotToLaugh · 29/09/2014 13:20

I guess I just don't get the combination of factors at this event.

a welcome event for reception children and their familes. Lovely! A great idea.

But...

A disco - reception children are often overwhelmed by a disco (god knows there have been enough threads about it in MN)

Whole school invited - so everyone will stand in their already formed cliques and the reception parents won't know who's new and who's not. And all the older kids will dominate the disco unwittingly intimidating the little 4 yr olds even more.

And as if this wasn't chaotic enough for the reception children, let's have some alcohol. BYO in fact, so not much fundraising there.

Madness.

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 29/09/2014 13:23

So your country school fete doesn't serve or sell any alcohol.

Seriously have been to dozens such events at different schools( oldest 25) and that's really really unusual.

MrsWinnibago · 29/09/2014 13:23

Exactly. A lot of the year one children didn't enjoy the disco last year...reception children are just as likely to be overwhelmed...more likely in fact.

It's better to have a party for the new comers...we have a little buffet for them and a magician! In the afternoon. The parents get a coffee morning on another date so they can all say hello.

MrsWinnibago · 29/09/2014 13:24

Body maybe I just struck lucky! Honestly we've never had so much as a glass of shandy served. DD1 is in year 6 so I've been there a while now!

vixsatis · 29/09/2014 13:25

My only wish was that drinks were available before ghastly concert/play/sporting event rather than after. Would have made the whole thing much more bearable.

MrsCakesPrecognition · 29/09/2014 13:30

I get the impression that all the parents will be sat glugging beer or wine and chatting away whilst totally ignoring what their children are doing.

So did you actually attend the event? Or have you just leaped to conclusions formed some impressions based on the "sort" of families you think would be there getting pissed and ignoring their children.

DustyCropHopper · 29/09/2014 13:32

If it was a school disco, meaning children being dropped and a small number of PTA helpers over seeing it, ywnbu, but what you describe is a family disco, where parents and children are attending, in which case yabu, it is a social gathering for the adults as much as the children.

motherinferior · 29/09/2014 13:37

A coffee morning rules out all the people who can't go to a morning event. Like, er, most of them. An evening one without a glass of wine would be quite miserable.

And yes, yes, I'm perfectly capable of getting through an evening without booze, blah blah blah. But I'm more likely to be lured out to a school-based do if it's on offer. Also I like a lot of the school parents and it is - gasp - fun to have a glass of wine together.

TheLovelyBoots · 29/09/2014 13:37

It does seem weird to leave for parents to leave a school event to buy alcohol at the Coop. Do they bring it back to the school?

TinklyLittleLaugh · 29/09/2014 13:37

We don't have alcohol available at our school events either. I'm really quite surprised that so many of you do. Needing a drink to enjoy a social event strikes me as a bit sad to be honest.

x2boys · 29/09/2014 13:38

My son attends a catholic school any do they have they have it in the church hall which also doubles as/a social club so has a bar I have never seen anybody acting innappropriatley after a couple of drinks I went o a convent primary school,a lot of my teachers were nuns there was always a beer tent at the summer fair again nobody had too much to drink and acted innapropriatley .

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 29/09/2014 13:39

Mrs Win it's absolutely your choice to avoid the alcohol served but to see it as a black mark against the school or a sign that society is on the verge of drunken collapse if a parent has a glass of wine at a school event is a bit OTT

motherinferior · 29/09/2014 13:39

I have had many joyous evenings without alcohol. And many that did feature it.

motherinferior · 29/09/2014 13:41

I don't need a drink to enjoy a 'social event'. Believe me, it helps hugely with a school concert.

LemonadeRayGun · 29/09/2014 13:42

I don't see the issue either way. I enjoy a glass of wine at a social event. I enjoy socialising with my children. my children come with me to parties, weddings etc. I usually serve wine at my children's birthday parties for the adults. Most parties I go to do, if they are in a hall or whatever, not so much at soft play places...

Equally I wouldnt think anything of it if there weren't alcohol there. I can enjoy myself without.

At my kids school there is wine, pimms, cider, beer, mulled wine etc at most events.

WipsGlitter · 29/09/2014 13:51

We never have wine/alcohol at school events when there are children there.

PTA night out - yes, mums piss ups sedate get togethers - yes, but not at the Halloween disco or school fair. I think one year the disco was held off site and there was a bar but they've not repeated that - but because the venue was shite, not for any other reason, ie parents getting pissed.

It wouldn't bother me, but generally most parents come on their own as the other parent is at home with other children and then most drive home so it wouldn't really be an appealing option.

DioneTheDiabolist · 29/09/2014 14:00

YANBU OP. I know quite a few families where alcohol has been the cause of problems. Having booze at such an event would mean that they would be unable to attend, which is sad because the children from these homes would really benefit from the social aspect of such evenings.Sad

WorraLiberty · 29/09/2014 14:06

I have a drink now and then too! I'm not anti it at all but I don't think it has a place where children are. It makes adults act in stupid ways.

No, it makes some adults act in stupid ways...and I'm sure you'll agree there are many adults who don't need alcohol to help them do that.

So by your way of thinking, if children are invited to weddings, they should be all alcohol free events?

Children should only eat in alcohol free restaurants?

ElizabethMedora · 29/09/2014 14:16

MaidofStars that's what the Muslim members of the PFTA say.

MrsWinnibago · 29/09/2014 14:17

Worra that's true...not all adults act silly when they've had a drink. But I have to ask...why drink it? When I drink it makes me feel a bit light headed..not a nice sensation at all...do some people just enjoy that sensation? Or does it not affect everyone in that way?

I can literally feel the change after one sip....and no exaggeration there at all.

beachyhead · 29/09/2014 14:18

We did have one infamous 'alcohol of school property' incident at dd1's school. The reception parents were put in charge of the bar at the Christmas Fayre. A couple of the dad's took on the challenge with great gusto, then proceeded to prop up said bar all afternoon. The bar wasn't really on the beaten track, so you kind of chanced on them getting louder and louder all through the afternoon. I guess they didn't know each other well at that stage, so decided to party....

Don't think any of the children noticed, tbh!

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