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Original poster

Alcohol at primary school disco

219 replies

tiredoutgran · 29/09/2014 10:44

or am I just being a miserable old fart? My children attend a primary school that has mainly 'well heeled' families. There is to be a welcome disco for the reception families with the whole school invited, the invite states that alcohol will be available or you can bring your own. Am I wrong in thinking that alcohol does not belong at what is essentially a party for children. I get the impression that all the parents will be sat glugging beer or wine and chatting away whilst totally ignoring what their children are doing. Don't get me wrong, if you have a family/friends party at home and have the odd glass of wine then that is different but I really think that at this sort of thing the booze should be kept out of it.

OP posts:
MaidOfStars · 29/09/2014 12:40

There is no way our school would do this, it's totally alienating to about half the school population (Muslim)

Surely this is a massive exaggeration. I know and work with many Muslims, and they don't avoid places where alcohol might be served. A few of them don't go to pubs, because those places are specifically designed to serve alcohol, but all go to restaurants, to parties, to other gatherings where there is alcohol.

WorraLiberty · 29/09/2014 12:43

Many of the local off licences here are owned by Muslims

They manage to function at work on a daily basis...

theDudesmummy · 29/09/2014 12:43

I have not been at a school function (apart from coffee morning), primary or secondary, private or state school, at which there was not plenty of alcohol available! Never seen any kind of problem!

TryingNotToLaugh · 29/09/2014 12:44

For many the alcohol will change it from something to be endured to what might be ok, possibly quite enjoyable

What?!

It's a kids disco, not a smear test. If you're thinking you're going to hate it that much a glass of warm wine won't make the slightest difference.

AggressiveBunting · 29/09/2014 12:46

This is where I think I've entered a parallel universe. My DC are 4 and 2 and I can count on 1 hand the number of kid's parties I've attended where they haven't offered the parents wine (and that's typically venue driven). I have no issues at all with my children seeing me drinking alcohol- it's something I do, as well as work, pay taxes, parent my children to a reasonable standard of behaviour and generally manage not to be a scourge to society.

WorraLiberty · 29/09/2014 12:46

Oooh pre-smear test wine

Why did I never think of that? Grin

theDudesmummy · 29/09/2014 12:47

PS We ran out of wine at one function last year. This was not well received! My poor DH was the barman (although he had not been responsible for estimating quantity!) and had a hard time!

motherinferior · 29/09/2014 12:49

I assure you that a nice glass of wine does transform a primary school event from the not quite bearable to the really quite fun.

RonaldMcDonald · 29/09/2014 12:50

Our PS has a bunch of religious nuts attached

We cannot hold raffles, fun runs - anything
We wanted to have non alcoholic mulled 'wine' at the Christmas fair and this was disallowed too

The very idea of a school event with alcohol attached makes me swoon

ChippingInLatteLover · 29/09/2014 12:52

It's not a 'kids disco' - it's a family event for the families to get to know each other. It's not the regular 'kids disco' with a few people supervising.

It's a social event for the family, I have no problem whatsoever with alcohol being available.

Mulled wine at Christmas, Pimms at the Fete, Wine at the Family Social...

All good :)

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 29/09/2014 12:53

I have had a smear test after 2 large glasses and to be honest it was enjoyable enough to be disturbing!

MrsWinnibago · 29/09/2014 12:54

Here's the thing...it's not ONE isolated event that's the issue. It's the fact that alcohol and it's consumption is so normalised in our society that of course there are thousands if not millions of alcohol dependent adults. They grew up around it all the time...it became something that was "fine" to do...alcohol is dangerous. It's basically a poison and when you put it into your body, you DO do damage.

Sleepwhenidie · 29/09/2014 12:54

Its not just a kids disco though Trying, it's supposed to be for parents too, and whether you feel the same or not, many adults associate relaxation with alcohol - it doesn't make them alcoholics. The idea of standing around in a school hall after a hard week at work while the kids bomb around like maniacs and you try and chat to strangers with a cup of squash in your hand really isn't that appealing, the addition of a glass of wine makes it feel more like an event for adults too. You can debate the rights and wrongs of alcohol in society separately but it's a fact. (and when I run the bar, the wine is never warm! )

Sleepwhenidie · 29/09/2014 12:55

Grin @ the body loves !

Sleepwhenidie · 29/09/2014 13:00

Mrs you are right, it is normalised, but do you seriously believe that not serving alcohol at a school disco is going to alter the perception kids have of alcohol in society. If you don't drink, fine, teach your kids why. Are you also going to make sure no sugar is ever served at school events, no pizza or hot dogs because its junk food and some parents ban it for their families? People consume this stuff all the time, we all make our choices about what we teach our kids about it, but they are going to see it, whatever we do.

DixieTreats · 29/09/2014 13:01

There are approx 4-5 social events for parents per term at my DDs school and alcohol is available at every single one. Sometimes to buy, sometimes for free. There's never been a problem in the time I've been there (5yrs). I'm absolutely positive that half the parents wouldn't attend if alcohol wasn't available!! This is a private school though, no experience of state sector.

Rawls · 29/09/2014 13:02

I don;t think many MNers would be 'drunk' or 'drinking' with all the single-mindedness that implies in front of their kids. However, I don't really get the sanctimonious "I would never have an alcoholic drink in front of my children" - why not? do you turn into a raging nutcase? start falling over or snogging the deputy head!?

I don;t mind if my children see me having a glass of wine or beer, it's part of life to have some wine every now and then.

Seriously, only someone with a drink problem would get over the top at a school function... Also, the wine served is generally disgusting!!

Username12345 · 29/09/2014 13:02

Agree with MrsWinnibago and bodhranbae.

Addictive drugs have no place in primary schools.

Stinkle · 29/09/2014 13:05

We tried a couple of events without alcohol (when we forgot to apply for a licence) and it went down like a fart in a lift. There was a mass exodus to the local co-op.

From the sounds of the op, it's not specifically a children's disco, it's a welcome disco for the new families.

We run discos just for the children - parents drop them off, a few teachers and PTA members supervise, then we ship them off home before getting stuck in to the wine stash to recover from the horror

When we do the whole family events - summer fair/bonfire night, etc, then it's more of a social event for the whole family, much like a wedding, or couple of cold beers in a pub garden on a sunny Sunday afternoon, I don't have a problem with it.

MrsWinnibago · 29/09/2014 13:05

Sleep yes, sugar is dangerous too but I don't mind the odd lolly on another child's birthday...but this is indulging adults in their weakness for no benefit to the children whatsoever. Why serve alcohol? Why have a disco for reception children's parents as a welcome? Confused It's not the idea atmosphere to have some light chit chat and a bloody how-d'you-do is it!?

MrsWinnibago · 29/09/2014 13:06

Stinkle Really? At a school event!? the parents all went off to the CoOP for beers and wine!?

I'm afraid I'd be rethinking my school choice if that happened at my DC school!

Explored · 29/09/2014 13:09

MrsW, the opposing view would be that not normalising alcohol leads to abuse. Making it something secret and forbidden increases the likelihood of it being abused etc. Demonstrating that it is normal to have a couple at a disco but not to be rolling drunk at breakfast is teaching children to use it safely.

As for why do at all, because that's what the people who have stepped up at this particular school have decided to do. If someone else had a better idea and was prepared to put the work in, I'm sure the PTA would be perfectly happy to let them.

Username12345 · 29/09/2014 13:09

it went down like a fart in a lift. There was a mass exodus to the local co-op.

And you think being unable to enjoy yourself or survive an evening without alcohol isn't a problem? Hmm

Fletchermoss · 29/09/2014 13:10

Stinkle Really? At a school event!? the parents all went off to the CoOP for beers and wine!? I'm afraid I'd be rethinking my school choice if that happened at my DC school!

Crikey! What sort of school do your DCs go to?

Sleepwhenidie · 29/09/2014 13:11

Actually Mrs our school disco is probably the one where parents get most chance to chat together because the kids are all safe and dancing in the hall together while the adults hang around the bar in the adjoining library. You don't have to trail them round stalls etc as at fairs, or feed them at the foodie event we have, so you get a bit more of a breather Smile.