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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have binned DP's microwave?

120 replies

Nohootingchickenssleeping · 27/09/2014 23:27

Spent all day in hospital with a head injury so feeling ill, tired and emotional.

DP cooked fish in my house last night. He's left the microwave filthy and stinking of fish that was out of date when he cooked it. It's stunk my whole house out and the smell has nearly made me vomit and burst into tears.

So I used every ounce of strength and threw the microwave into the wheely bin.

He's gonna kill me, he's had it since he was eighteen and it was lent to me on the condition I look after it. It was on its last legs but he doesn't like throwing stuff out and he'll also be upset that it was just tossed and not recycled.

AIBU to have binned it rather than clean it? I'm vegetarian and I hate the smell of fish above anything.

OP posts:
formerbabe · 28/09/2014 09:05

Oh ffs! Its a 12 year old microwave that stinks of fish! Like another poster said, I don't trust old microwaves to be safe. Keeping it is irrational.

SanityClause · 28/09/2014 09:08

Why would a 12yo microwave not be fit for purpose? Mine is about 10yo, and I think of it as being practically new!

I do think you should rescue the microwave, though, Nohooting, but don't bring it back into the house. And once you are feeling better, take stock of this relationship, and see if it is working for you, and try to see what you can do to improve things.

catless · 28/09/2014 09:08

Tell him it blew up.

PiggyontheRailway · 28/09/2014 09:08

Not an over reaction at all the op lost her temper and acted out of spite that is nasty. The microwave does not belong to her she doesn't have the right to throw it away no matter how upset she is. If she would have put it in a black bag taped it up and told him to get his smelly microwave out of her house, that would have been a reasonable reaction. To decide to throw away someone else's property especially when they have asked you to look after it is wrong.
I think the OP wanted to make her DP feel bad because she feels bad. That is nasty behaviour what ever the reason for it.

musicalendorphins2 · 28/09/2014 09:11

Nohootingchickenssleeping just leave it outside in the bin if you are feeling so ill. Maybe just text him to let him know that it is in the bin and to please come over and remove it and do not bring it anywhere near your home.

I hope you feel better soon, probably running around with microwave isn't the best thing for you to be doing just yet. Although I agree with following the impulse to get it away from you in that moment. Ugh.

formerbabe · 28/09/2014 09:14

SanityClause: the older a microwave the more risk there is of a seal being broken, holes in the mesh, bends, cracks etc

Fwiw, hoarders get upset when an empty milk carton is binned!

Fairenuff · 28/09/2014 09:17

But he can hoard all the empty milk cartons he wants at his house. OP does not have to have any of it in hers.

noblegiraffe · 28/09/2014 09:25

The OP has the best excuse ever.
DP "Where's my microwave?"
OP "shit, where's your microwave gone? Have I been burgled??"
Frantic search later
OP "how the fuck did it get in the bin? Oh, my head, I think I've got amnesia, I don't remember this happening at all"

Nanny0gg · 28/09/2014 09:26

Not an over reaction at all the op lost her temper and acted out of spite that is nasty

I don't think it was spite. Anger, yes. I'd have been furious. Spite no. She just wanted it out of her house.

Preciousbane · 28/09/2014 09:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gamerchick · 28/09/2014 09:41

Um I'm a meat eater and I wouldn't allow fish to be defrosted in the microwave.. its just plain stupid.

Op . give him a ring and tell him to get his microwave out of the bin if he wants it and read him the riot act for stinking your house out and not sorting it out after.

abigamarone · 28/09/2014 09:57

Unreasonable, because apart from anything else it shouldn't be disposed of with the household rubbish. And it's not yours. Tell him the head injury affected you.

For the record my microwave is a moulinex (with grill) and I've had it since 1992. It doesn't smell and I don't worry about escaping microwaves.

Inertia · 28/09/2014 09:58

Anyone else thinking it's a microwave, not a kidney?

To be honest you probably shouldn't have chucked it - but then he shouldn't have cooked off fish in it in your home. That applies at all times, but doubly so when you are recovering from a head injury.

I would call him and tell him that the rotten smell was making you so ill you dumped it, but he is welcome to come and get it out of the bin.

Of course you would never be able to eat at his again ...

Original poster
Nohootingchickenssleeping · 28/09/2014 10:04

It's 10am Sunday and I can still smell it in the house. It was cooked Friday night. This isn't the first time he's done this either, he's not so much selfish as that he just doesn't think or seem to understand.

He's not looking after me as he's gone away for the weekend and can't get back. He was already gone by the time I needed to go to hospital.

OP posts:
TryingNotToLaugh · 28/09/2014 10:08

Exactly inertia

Order him a new one before he gets back. job done.

MrsDeVere · 28/09/2014 10:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fairenuff · 28/09/2014 10:10

he's not so much selfish as that he just doesn't think or seem to understand

Sorry, but that's the definition of selfish. He should think of others, especially you, and he does understand, he just doesn't care.

Aeroflotgirl · 28/09/2014 10:11

Oh bless you op. I think people are being very harsh on you. You have had a head injury and been to hospital so presumably not feeling all that great. I woukd have put it in the garage for him to sort out. Nice that he's buggered off and left you at home with a head injury.

Nydj · 28/09/2014 10:17

YANBU. If he expects you to treat his things with respect then he should treat you and your things with respect so he should not have cooked fish in your house knowing that you hate the smell and he should have cleaned the microwave after using it.

MargotLovedTom · 28/09/2014 10:31

He can sort the bloody microwave out if it's that important to him. He loaned it to you on the grounds that you treat it with extra special care, but then he's happy to leave it crusted with stinky fish presumably expecting that you'll clean it up? Fuck that.

ChasedByBees · 28/09/2014 10:49

I don't think you were unreasonable to get rid of it, but electrical items like that do need to be recycled. I'd do the same as everyone else is suggesting and put it in a black bag for him to collect.

CatWitch · 28/09/2014 10:57

I hope you are feeling better today. It took me several months to fully recover from my head injury. Frankly, I don't think you need the aggravation of this unsupportive man and his antique microwave. When you are feeling more steady, you might want to have a think about your relationship with your partner. It sounds like he might not be all that you would wish him to be...

HappyAgainOneDay · 28/09/2014 11:00

gentlehoney My DH brought his microwave into this house. It's still here and working well 20 years later. I don't know how old it was when he installed it here.

Noshowofmojo · 28/09/2014 12:09

He's just plain shellfish! Wink

MassaAttack · 28/09/2014 12:26

Our refuse collectors wouldn't take it.