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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have binned DP's microwave?

120 replies

Nohootingchickenssleeping · 27/09/2014 23:27

Spent all day in hospital with a head injury so feeling ill, tired and emotional.

DP cooked fish in my house last night. He's left the microwave filthy and stinking of fish that was out of date when he cooked it. It's stunk my whole house out and the smell has nearly made me vomit and burst into tears.

So I used every ounce of strength and threw the microwave into the wheely bin.

He's gonna kill me, he's had it since he was eighteen and it was lent to me on the condition I look after it. It was on its last legs but he doesn't like throwing stuff out and he'll also be upset that it was just tossed and not recycled.

AIBU to have binned it rather than clean it? I'm vegetarian and I hate the smell of fish above anything.

OP posts:
VanGogh · 28/09/2014 00:30

YANBU.

Selfish twat.

I would also let him know exactly what you have done and why. Ask him to please bring over fabreeze because your home stinks and you are hyper nauseous.

If the sodding microwave was that precious it wouldn't have been left in that state.

And that's just mean- microwaving fish and then not ventilating the house.

ouryve · 28/09/2014 00:31

Is a 12 year old microwave really that impressively old? We've had ours almost that long.

Apart from the fact that you feel shite because of your head injury, I'm more concerned that your relationship is down to you hating his food, binning his stuff, appearing to generally resent him them fearing his reaction, OP. It all sounds a little dysfunctional, tbh. Please tell me you're both a lot less Eastenders when you're not unwell.

AgentZigzag · 28/09/2014 00:31

'Buy a new one of your DP's choice a.s.a.p.'

If that was the problem/was a possible solution, surely the OP wouldn't have posted and just bought him a new one?

I know she's had a bang on the head, but...y'know Grin

KatoPotato · 28/09/2014 00:33

My dads sharp carousel is still going strong since 1988!

Topaz25 · 28/09/2014 00:44

If he has an irrational attachment to objects then throwing it out is going to cause some upset. Fish (no pun intended) it out of the bin when you're feeling better and talk things through with him when you're calm. He probably wasn't thinking and didn't intend to upset you, I live with meat eaters and they don't seem to realise that fish smells disgusting to me, it's like smokers not being aware of how much it smells. In the meantime, are you OK? Is there someone who can stay with you while you are recovering from concussion?

Noshowofmojo · 28/09/2014 00:44

Sorry to hear about your head, hope you feel better soon.

Even if an old microwave is still working, do people not worry about the waves/radiation escaping in case a seal has worn or something? This is something that bothers me every time I use my fairly young microwave.

Topaz25 · 28/09/2014 00:45

I'm not saying it's irrational of him to be upset about his stuff being thrown out by the way, just that it's a little bit irrational to have an intense attachment to an old microwave. I say that as a recovering hoarder myself.

Gruntfuttock · 28/09/2014 00:46

I was just saying what I would've done, as I wouldn't feel entitled to bin anything that didn't belong to me.

VanitasVanitatum · 28/09/2014 01:00

Maybe it shouldn't have been binned but if you hate fish the smell really is repulsive, and it was really unfair of him to make a mess and not clean it and leave the house stinking.

You might want to fish it out of the bin and leave it somewhere out of the house but rain/theif proof.

Hope you feel better soon!

TryingNotToLaugh · 28/09/2014 01:04

You might want to fish it out of the bin and leave it somewhere out of the house but rain/theif proof.

No one is going to steal a 12 yr old microwave that stinks of fish. Unfortunately.

musicalendorphins2 · 28/09/2014 01:13

I would get it out and put it in a plastic bin bag, and give it to home to take home next time you see him. (guessing he lives elsewhere due to you saying "my house" and that he "lent" it to you.
Tell him to try lemon juice and baking soda, but if there is any trace of fish smell at all, you have no use for it.

Fairenuff · 28/09/2014 01:25

I agree. If he lent it to you, you should give it back. It's not yours to throw. If he doesn't want it back then you can consider it a gift and feel free to get rid of it. Recycle it though, don't landfill it!

AlpacaMyBags · 28/09/2014 01:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squoosh · 28/09/2014 02:22

Tell him it's in the bin and if he's that attached to it he should salvage it before the bin men come.

And then tell him that only the lowest of the low re-heat fish in the microwave.

lupo5 · 28/09/2014 02:47

Sorry about your head injury BUT YABU .It doesn't matter how you feel,you can't throw away things which are not belonging to you.....IMO

FannyBlott · 28/09/2014 02:49

YABU! You can't bin other people's things! Put in a bin bag and left outside would be reasonable I think or in a shed/garage.

I hope you feel better soon and I hope your DP isn't too distraught and is able to salvage his beloved microwave!

TinyDancingHoofer · 28/09/2014 02:54

Yabu- it's not yours to throw out.
Also 11years old is nothing, my gran still has the microwave my dad bought her with his first paycheck! And it heats a mug of cocoa in half the time my shiny new one does.

WestEast · 28/09/2014 03:20

It's a fucking microwave not the crown chuffing jewels.
Hope you're feeling better.

squoosh · 28/09/2014 03:22

Anyone who has a 'beloved microwave' is to be avoided.

GoBigOrange · 28/09/2014 04:15

Sorry OP, YABVU to bin something which does not belong to you. Especially as you know for sure it is not something he would want to get rid of. If my DH threw away something of mine (which he knew I wanted to keep) I would have a pretty hard time forgiving him.

The fact that he microwaved fish makes your actions more understandable though. There are few things on this earth that smell more foul and revolting than microwaved fish (and I say that as someone who likes eating fish). That was massively inconsiderate of him, especially as you are a vegetarian and don't want the smell of nuked flesh up your nose anyway - let alone while suffering from a head injury.

If you can manage/bear to, tip it back out of the wheely bin, stick it in a bin bag and dump it on the doorstep/in the garden. Tell him it is outside because the smell is nauseating and beyond offensive and he is lucky you didn't throw the disgusting dirty thing away Wink Under no circumstances should you clean it. That is his responsibility - along with a grovelling apology for stinking your house out with fishy stench.

thewrongmans · 28/09/2014 04:22

That is a major overreaction.

CatWitch · 28/09/2014 04:26

I hope you are feeling better Flowers. I received a rather bad last summer and remember how ill I would be from certain odours. The smell of off fish must have been horrid for you.

Your DP was a twat to leave that mess for you. I'm just concerned about your level of anxiety telling him about his fucking microwave. What do you think he might say/do?

Please try to rest and not get yourself worked up over this issue. So hard to think straight when you are recovering from injury. Be kind to yourself..

CatWitch · 28/09/2014 04:27

Should have read, I received a rather bad concussion last summer..

scarletforya · 28/09/2014 04:38

Yanbu

He microwaved off fish while you were in hospital and left it there for you to clean! Serves him right. If he wants the microwave let him retrieve it and clean it and keep it at his own house.

LindyHemming · 28/09/2014 05:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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