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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not believe people when they say

82 replies

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 27/09/2014 11:37

I don't care what people think... I hate sayings such as This is me. Here I am and if you don't like me then it's your problem.
We all care what others think of us don't we. Well I certainly do.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 27/09/2014 11:40

It depends on the people and the subject.

There are many people whom I genuinely do not give a shiny shit about, so their thoughts about me are irrelevant.

I care about the thoughts of people who matter to me though (to a degree).

skylark2 · 27/09/2014 11:41

It depends on the situation. I don't like upsetting people, but if someone doesn't like me because I have different priorities from them, then yes, that is their problem and I genuinely don't care.

I had "friends" at school who thought I was a snob because I wanted to go to Oxford - should I have cared what they thought?

Original poster

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 27/09/2014 11:43

Oh I care about what everyone thinks of me. Although I did read some wonderful words of wisdom though. "Those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind". If only I could put it into practice though

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 27/09/2014 11:44

It must be exhausting to care what everyone thinks of you.

rainbowinmyroom · 27/09/2014 11:44

No, we all don't. Some don't care at all.

RobotLover68 · 27/09/2014 11:48

i used to care - don't any more -YABU

hormonalandneedingcheese · 27/09/2014 11:51

Depends on the situation. I've said 'I don't care about them' after I finally cut friend X off after bullying and passive aggressive behaviour. I did care very much but the more i said it, the more other asked and I said that I didn't care and was better without someone like that in my lie, the more real it became. Until finally I really didn't care one way or another, in fact until this reminded me I haven't thought of her in nearly a year.

Also 'people' tends to not mean everyone but a certain set of people of groups. When my friend's cousin was pregnant as a teenager she would say it, and actually mean it. She cared what her friends thought but randoms who offered opinion and judgement- not so much. I still don't get how she couldn't care about hurtful comments but she is a very pragmatic and logical person and just said it was their issue.

A fried says 'i don't care what people think' and I'm torn on whether she means it or not. She does something a lot of people probably would judge and comment on and the 'i don't care' seems defensive and forced. But it's hard to tell because she's very arrogant and often doesn't listen of care for other anyway.

Most people do mind deep down, sometimes it's just a smidgen but i think it's there. Sometimes they're resigned or used to it. Sometimes they don't give a shit about the person minding and really don't care.

Flipflops7 · 27/09/2014 11:53

YANBU, especially when it's the first thing they say. It's so self-important and ill-mannered.

scarletforya · 27/09/2014 11:53

Would you be upset to discover people don't think of you half as much as you think?

Original poster

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 27/09/2014 11:57

Ha ha. Scarlet never looked at it that way before. I don't suppose I'm that important.!!!

OP posts:

SaucyJack · 27/09/2014 11:59

YABU.

One example of this would be to read the tattoo threads on here. Do you think those of us who have tattoos are crying into our coffee? Cos you'd be wrong.

SweetsForMySweet · 27/09/2014 12:00

It's not really an AIBU, it's more a statement of your opinion. For me, I care about the opinion of the people I love and care about, not too bothered about everyone else. I'd imagine it would be very damaging to your confidence, self esteem and your mental health to worry about what everyone else thinks of you all the time. If you're happy in yourself, don't worry about what other people think of you unless you are being reckless with your or other people's safety

LadyLuck10 · 27/09/2014 12:01

I honestly, truly don't care what people think of me except for a very few close people in my life.

Original poster

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 27/09/2014 12:01

Who mentioned tatoos? Where did that come from? (insert confused face here)

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 27/09/2014 12:01

I can't believe the level at which some people really do care about what others think about them.

Even on here, some posters name change just to express a mildly different opinion to random people on the internet.

I just don't understand the levels some people take it to.

notagainffffffffs · 27/09/2014 12:02

Wise man said that you will stop caring so much what people think of yoy when you realise how seldom they do. I think thats spot on! I try to live by treating others as I woulr like to be treated myself but as far as what I look like/my job/my hobbies, no I dont give a fuck what people think

mommy2ash · 27/09/2014 12:05

I .honestly don't care what people think but I have had to do a lot of work on myself to reach that point. I am secure enough in myself that I know I am a good person and Am willing to admit when I am wrong. other people's perception of me isn't important, i don't have to answer to them but I am accountable to myself.

Flipflops7 · 27/09/2014 12:07

Lighthouse, the out of nowhere tattoo post above illustrates your point perfectly.

SaucyJack interprets it that way. I would say, I am looking at your tattoo rather than look into the middle distance. I don't care if it is making a statement, I'm more interested in scratching my arse than in judging you, so stop being so self-important and paranoid. No-one is that interesting.

Muskey · 27/09/2014 12:07

My mum always says those who mind don't matter, those who matter don't mind. I always try and think of this when I worry about what people think of me. I agree with notagain excellent quote

Flipflops7 · 27/09/2014 12:08

I start from the premise, I'm OK, you're OK, and only shift from that if it becomes necessary. Saves a lot of grief.

Original poster

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 27/09/2014 12:10

Welcome to my thread flip flops but with all due to respects. I haven't a darn clue what you're on about.

OP posts:

Original poster

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 27/09/2014 12:11

re comment at 1207.

OP posts:

SaucyJack · 27/09/2014 12:15

Why are you so confused by my post (and flip flops response)?

You stated that you don't believe people really don't care about other people's negative opinion of them. I gave you an example of a particular situation in which people genuinely don't care.

stargirl1701 · 27/09/2014 12:22

It depends on who it is, tbh. If it's someone I respect, then yes, I care. If it's a random person or someone who I think is an idiot and/or incompetent, then no. Why would you care about randoms or idiots?

MammaTJ · 27/09/2014 12:24

I am happy enough in my own skin to not really care what others think of me, especially random strangers.

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