to not believe people when they say

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

I don't care what people think... I hate sayings such as This is me. Here I am and if you don't like me then it's your problem.
We all care what others think of us don't we. Well I certainly do.

Good advice First. No Flick I'll be 40 next year, so I don't think I'll ever stop caring

Ilive just wait My 40th year was amazing. Best year ever. And one of the reasons was coming to terms with a lot of what I put in my post. 2 years on and I feel liberated from the unnecessary angst.

I cannot say I do not care at all - but certainly, utterly I have dropped it being a big issue. And yes I still care about my friends and family - I care that I want to be kind, to be helpful, to love them. But it is all now in perspective, just as I wrote up thread.

I do not believe you need to go so far as to the "This is me. Here I am and if you don't like me then it's your problem." from you first post. There are some people who maybe like that. To me, that smacks a bit of someone who feels slightly self defensive and it is coming across a bit aggressively.

For me, it is more I have realised I do not need to care what others (strangers/randoms/school mums I do not know). They are probably not thinking of me. If they are it will be a waft thought and it does not matter.

I still angst occasionally. Then I slap myself with a wet kipper and move on.

I read a quote years ago which went:
At 20 we worry about what people think of us.
At 40, we don't care what people think of us.
At 60, we realise they haven't been thinking of us at all.

I'm not that fussed what people think. People in general, that is. My family, my friends - their opinion of me matters, because they matter to me. But the average person on the street, not really.
I don't take this to mean I can be rude or whatever, because I don't care what they think. I am polite, and (I hope), kind, because it makes everyone's life a lot more pleasant. But if someone makes an unpleasant snap judgement, I might think about it for a second or two, and then I move on and forget it. If I don't know them, their opinion mostly is of no relevance.

And as someone else said, I have come to realise that when I am doing things, I am mentally working through the checklist of what needs to be done, whe I need to be next, I'm not looking round and judging anyone else. So I tend to assume that no-one is really that interested in me. It's the opposite of being self important!

There are times when everyone is wrong. Not many granted. Imagine being black in the 1950s and being the only black person in your town/village. Do you just trust yourself and ignore/deal with everyone else being wronger than a very wrong thing, or do you go along with it.

Yes that was an out there example, however, I saw today someone saying the entire village had ostracised her for not agreeing with development. In that situation, she is going to HAVE TO not care what people think. She stood up for what she thought was right.

I think there's nothing wrong with teaching our children that there will be times when you will be judged, possibly unfairly, and you will have to stand up for what you believe in even if every other person you know disagrees.

So generally, I'm sure people do care and want to fit in. When a person becomes marginalised or in the minority then I would think they possibly stop caring what other people think.

I don't care what people think... I hate sayings such as This is me. Here I am and if you don't like me then it's your problem.

You've basically described me there. If somebody doesn't like me, I honestly do shrug my shoulders and think "meh, their problem, not mine" and keep my distance.
It must be so exhausting trying to either conform to what you think others like or trying to fit in. Just be YOURSELF and if that's not good enough for some, you're better off without!

depends who it is. if I care about the person, ie my DH or DM, I care deeply about what they think. if it's some person I've never met before on the street making a comment they can go swivel lol

This made me laugh.