Page 2 | to not believe people when they say

TortoiseUpATreeAgain · 27/09/2014 12:25

"Tattoo threads on here" -- generally any MN thread with "tattoo" in the title gets invaded by posters saying "Eurgh, tattoos are so vulgar and tacky", "I judge people with visible tattoos", "I really hate the look of tattoos".

And yet tattooed posters somehow manage to survive emotionally unscarred.

(I don't understand FlipFlops' response, though. Someone who goes out of their way to open a thread on tattoos and to compose and post a comment about how much they hate tattoos and judge people who have them probably is judging. If they manage to do that while actually trying to scratch their arse then that's quite impressively incompetent. I don't think it's "self-important and paranoid" to assume that someone who specifically posts a message saying that they are judging you might, in fact, be judging you...)

heebiegeebie · 27/09/2014 12:25

I genuinely don't care if someone likes me because the people who don't like me are also the people I don't like. I take it as a compliment if they don't like me, I'd be far more worried about being liked by someone I didn't. I'd be worried about what the saw in me.

WorraLiberty · 27/09/2014 12:35

I prefer this quote, although I don't know who it's by.

"I used to walk into a room full of people and wonder if they liked me... now I look around and wonder if I like them".

Original poster

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 27/09/2014 12:38

Oh great words of wisdom, worra

OP posts:

CheesyBadger · 27/09/2014 12:40

I don't sometimes and do sometimes. Generally I care about how I come across as socially I am not great. I don't care what people think of my dress, career, life choices etc but work with dp obviously and ask for advice and listen to criticism. I find if liberating as I can always see both sides as I'm not clouded by worries of what people think on the big things

CheesyBadger · 27/09/2014 12:40

I don't sometimes and do sometimes. Generally I care about how I come across as socially I am not great. I don't care what people think of my dress, career, life choices etc but work with dp obviously and ask for advice and listen to criticism. I find if liberating as I can always see both sides as I'm not clouded by worries of what people think on the big things

Pipbin · 27/09/2014 12:44

if you don't like me then it's your problem is a cover all for being a bitch and making out that you saying something hurtful and unkind and the person you upset is the one being unreasonable. It's shifting the blame to the victim of the nasty person.

muffinino82 · 27/09/2014 12:45

Haters gonna hate

riverboat1 · 27/09/2014 12:46

I don't like it when people say stuff like that as some kind of justification for being rude or hurting somebody's feelings. rudeness. The whole 'I speak as I find' attitude. Can't stand it.

But I do admire people who live their lives without worrying about what others think of them, so long as they are not hurting others in the choices they make.

I wish I could be more like that but I am just not. I constantly worry about what others think if me, even though it us exhausting and pointless I just can't stop.

ashtrayheart · 27/09/2014 12:47

"We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don't care for." - Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach One of my favourite quotes.

MrsHathaway · 27/09/2014 14:00

I care hugely what people think of me, what I do and say, and what I look like, even when I don't have control over those things (eg height).

It means I drive myself to misery constantly trying to meet the imagined standards of other people, even if they are complete strangers.

It is just yet another symptom of an (occasionally crippling) anxiety disorder in my case. And it's only been in the last five years or less that I've realised not everybody feels like this.

LesserOfTwoWeevils · 27/09/2014 15:20

oh Mrs Hathaway, yes.

I nod sagely at all those people saying things like "I used to walk into a room full of people and wonder if they liked me... now I look around and wonder if I like them"

In my head I agree with them and I know that's how I should feel, but I don't and don't know how to get there from where I am, which is squirming and wanting to hide if anyone even notices my existence.

LabradorMama · 27/09/2014 15:26

I spent a long time trying to convince myself that I don't care what anyone thinks of me and voila - nowadays it's absolutely true. I genuinely don't give a shit what ANYONE thinks of me. I do things my way and I like it

ArsenicFaceCream · 27/09/2014 15:29

It can be a position statement. A refusal to care.

FrazzledMiddleChild · 27/09/2014 15:32

I do and I don't care.

It depends so much whether I respect the person I suspect is judging me, and whether or not their judgement is based on my own poor behaviour or choices or just their haste to judge.

So, the answer is it totally dpends!

FrazzledMiddleChild · 27/09/2014 15:36

if you don't like me it's your problem I feel like this because I know I am pleasant to everybody no matter what I think of them, I make an effort to make allowances for other people's bad behaviour, so if people don't like me I know that's their prerogative, but if they openly show their dislike of me, then yes I would see it as 'their problem'.

Phalenopsis · 27/09/2014 15:57

I care less as I age. I used to be so eager to please when I was a young woman, to be everyone's friend and say the right thing even if I didn't believe it. Then I realised that I was being shat on left, right and centre because some people saw me as a soft touch.

I now care what those close to me think up to a point but am prepared to go my own way if I truly believe I am doing/thinking the right thing for me. Others: not at all bothered.

LittlePeaPod · 27/09/2014 16:14

Unless its very close family and friends I can honestly say I don't care what people think of me. I have never understood why some people care so much about what people outside very close family/froends think of them.

LittlePeaPod · 27/09/2014 16:43

In fact I once posted a thread on MN (not AIBU, it was on the pregnancy board about ELCS). The thread was more an information thread for other women in my situation and those that felt the same about ELCS. The thread got very heated with lots of people disagreeing with my view etc. What amazed me then and still does a little bit now was how pissed of random strangers got when they realised I didn't give a shiny shit about their opinions or thoughts. Some people actually couldn't believe I didn't care what they thought.

InAnotherLife · 27/09/2014 16:54

There's a quote , not sure whom by, that says something like, "It's none of your business what other people think of you."

I found it helped me, I try and spend less time in other people's heads and more time in my own and evaluating how I feel about my own conduct.

HouseBaelish · 27/09/2014 16:55

It depends who - someone I respect/care about then yes, I'd like them to have a nice opinion of me.

Randoms/people I don't care about? Nope honestly couldn't care less - why would you?!

Flipflops7 · 27/09/2014 18:34

Thank you SaucyJack :). I now love you and your random tattoo post even though I originally joined the thread to agree with the OP, which she seems not to have noticed or understood

MrsItsNoworNotatAll1 · 28/09/2014 08:56

I care a lot less what people think of me as I've got older. It's liberating!

I only wish that I'd have had this amount of confidence when I was younger. I used to let folk, particularly at work, walk all over me because I was too afraid of what they might think of me if I voiced an opinion that differed to theirs. Well now I couldn't care less. You can say what you think without being rude and disrespectful. If folk don't like it and vice versa who gives a shit!

Recently something occurred at work where if I hadn't protested I'd have found myself doing a particular job two days in a row. Something that isn't supposed to happen as it's unfair (to the person in question doing it) well I piped up and said as much and was asked if I'd mind doing something else. Years ago I would've have just got on and done that same job because I'd have been too bothered about what folk would've thought of me if I'd said no.

I'm glad I don't care what others think of me. Reckon I'd be more exhausted than I already am!

LosingAllTheLego · 28/09/2014 09:14

No I find as I get older I care less and less. And it's quite liberating!

Janethegirl · 28/09/2014 11:39

I generally don't care what people think of me. People that are so obsessed about their appearance and think I should wear makeup at 8am really piss me off though.....I'd sooner have the extra time in bed