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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think its controling if dh comments on what i eat or drink and its pissing me right off

98 replies

FestiveFox · 23/09/2014 22:15

I'm not overweight or anything before anyone tries to bash me

only just sat down at 21.30ish ffs

so got myself a drink a sugar free vimeto
we normally have two cans a day, one at lunch one for tea

then rest of time drink water or squash or tea

anyway went in kitchen got drink opened it
dh heard it and said bloody hell foxy are you on three cans a day now

that was it, I had a massive go at him for being controlling about food, its not the first tie wew have had rows about him making comments about food or drink
hes been like this years

can't fucking stand it

yes I've only just fucking sat down, yes I fancied a sf vimto
so fucking what a lot of people have a couple of beers in the evening or a glass or two of wine
so what

OP posts:
Ticktockblock · 23/09/2014 22:18

Slight overreaction don't you think?

SlicedAndDiced · 23/09/2014 22:19

Hasn't he got anything better to do?

That being said.....it sounds like there are bigger problems here. Flowers

ILovePud · 23/09/2014 22:19

"who are you? The fucking chip police" my friend's retort to her DH when he commented on us coming back late from the cinema with some chips, still makes me smile now.

MerryMarigold · 23/09/2014 22:20

I think you are tired.

Either that or he is controlling in LOTS of ways and this is the last straw.

YABU to have 2 cans of fizz and squash though.

Original poster
FestiveFox · 23/09/2014 22:21

I did swear at him, which has lead to him accusing me of going ott

but he's done this/been like this for years

even though I've told him so many times to stop and that I find it controlling

ive even posted about it on here before years ago

OP posts:
Original poster
FestiveFox · 23/09/2014 22:23

I lovepub, why do you think her dh even commented on it

my dh commented on it in a negative way because he said bloody hell are you on three cans a day now....
from the living room
sothe moment he heard the can open he piped up and I just think why??????

OP posts:
Original poster
FestiveFox · 23/09/2014 22:23

I am over tired though and need to get more sleep

OP posts:
HoldenMcGroin · 23/09/2014 22:24

Oh dear you do sound tired and stressed

He does have a point though, three cans is a lot in a day

It does appear a symptom of deeper problems, you allude to previous issues around control from him?

HoldenMcGroin · 23/09/2014 22:25

Sorry x posts

Original poster
FestiveFox · 23/09/2014 22:26

previous food and drink control issues

he drinks two cans a day himself

OP posts:
MrsWinnibago · 23/09/2014 22:26

YANBU. My DH comments too. He is preoccupied with food....and has a slight obsession about it. I on the other hand want to live my life in fucking peace without someone saying things about what I am consuming. It's fuck all to do with him.

MrsWinnibago · 23/09/2014 22:27

Have to add though OP....sugar free stuff is poison. It's got Aspartame in it which is worse for you than sugar

Original poster
FestiveFox · 23/09/2014 22:27

and if he had a beer in the evening I wouldn't think of mentioning it

bloody hell dh are you having a beer
you've had two cans of pop today!

OP posts:
pointythings · 23/09/2014 22:31

He needs to back off. If you were drinking three cans of Carlsberg Special Brew he would have a point. Sugar free Vimto isn't great - all those synthetic sweeteners, for starters - but in the scheme of things it is hardly a vice.

I'd be replacing what I was having with the 'leaded' version every time he commented, but I'm bitchy good at passive/aggressive when I want to be. So he comments on your sugar free Vimto - you get yourself a can of the full sugar one, or something with alcohol in it (only if you fancy it, obviously). He comments on you getting yourself crisps - you get yourself chocolate on top of that. Then tell him how well he thinks his comments are working.

Or alternatively you bite his head off verbally - I would.

Original poster
FestiveFox · 23/09/2014 22:31

dh parents have got food issues, they talk about how they feel like going upto fat people in mcdonalds and saying to them I don't think you should be eating that do you

I mean wtf

the idea of doing that has never occurred to me

my mil goes on in front of my dd, or used to, saying how disgusting she is that shes 10 stone at 5ft 5 at about 65
wtf
ive actually had to tell her to stop making these comments on front of dd as that's a healthy bmi and its not disgusting

their attitude is disgustings

so I don't think dh is as extreme as them, but that's where he gets it from I think

I know I shouldn't really swear but ive told him to stop doing this so many times over the years
if he does it again
im going to swear at him again

OP posts:
Fairylea · 23/09/2014 22:31

Yanbu. I'd hate that too.

And if you were overweight he still has no right to comment on what you eat / drink. You're an adult, it's up to you what you eat!

Janethegirl · 23/09/2014 22:32

OP I think I'd open another can just to truly piss him off Grin. My DH has tried commenting on what I eat or drink but now realises I just go and get another of whatever he's whinging about, irrespective of if I actually want it! He now doesn't comment at all.

MrsWinnibago · 23/09/2014 22:32

I told my DH in NO uncertain circs. "You do NOT comment on what I eat...in a pseudo amused fashion which is really covering your judgement...thinly. Just as I do NOT comment on you chugging three cans of beer in one go now and then...or you eating a 6 pack of crisps. You keep your nose out and your comments to yourself."

He does now. He understands. It's fucking rude and it smacks of control.

ILovePud · 23/09/2014 22:33

I think he was having a little dig at us and implying we were being greedy (we'd had tea earlier so we were a bit). I don't think this was part of a pattern of wider controlling behaviour as maybe it is with your DH. Sorry to hear you're having these problems and that DH hasn't taken on board what you've told him about how this makes you feel. Why do you think he does this, is he controlling in general or does he have particular attitudes to eating/drinking generally, or to women eating/drinking?

MrsWinnibago · 23/09/2014 22:33

Jane good idea. OP could get ten cans and open them all and sit there...sipping out of each in turn. Grin

londonrach · 23/09/2014 22:34

Had ex like that. Notice the word ex but he was only a boyfriend.

Janethegirl · 23/09/2014 22:36

MrsWinnibago GrinGrin

ImperialBlether · 23/09/2014 22:36

Just reply, "Bloody hell, X, are you still an arse?"

GirlWithTheLionHeart · 23/09/2014 22:37

If he's concerned he should have brought it up another time, not when you had just got in and tired. That's just asking to be snapped at.

MrsWembley · 23/09/2014 22:37

He sounds like he has problems but, then again, you sound like you are tired. My DP sometimes makes comments about what I'm eating, which usually makes me stop and walk off (before returning and having a bit of a rant about his assumed right to say anythingWink), so I do know how you feel, but maybe count to ten and then explain yourself calmly next time, so that he cannot complain about you shouting.