to want to write a sweary version of 'A' you're adorable

[Sweetasstevia]

Just heard the Perry Como version on the radio and the 13 year old in me has taken great pleasure in creating my own obscene version. Please contribute (or flame me and tell me to grow up) ...
So far it goes:

'A' you're an Arsehole
'B' such a Bastard
'C' you're a creepy little cock

D...you're a douchebag

YABU, to want to do this on a Tuesday afternoon rather than a Friday evening.

E - an effing ejit
F - the wit and personality of a sock

G you're a Gormless twat

H you're a hoebag

F your a fuckwit

"I" your an imbecile

H - you're Hung like a gnat

J - you're a jockstrap

K - You're a kinky fuck

L - you're a Letchy perv

L you're a loser and a louse

Double LL! Must be the Welsh alphabet!

I can imagine Mr Como turning in his grave - these are great :) :) can we get to Z with insults?

M- you're a minger

N - no-one likes you

O - your odour stalks you round the house

O - you're an onanist (posh for wanker!)

My mum and I had a swearing rude version we used to sing when I was a kid! One of my happiest memories singing it.

P you are piss poor in bed

Q you're a stinky rank queef (vaginal fart)

R - you are rancid

S- such a slutty skank

T- a twisted testicle of grief

U you are up yourself