to want to write a sweary version of 'A' you're adorable

[Sweetasstevia]

Just heard the Perry Como version on the radio and the 13 year old in me has taken great pleasure in creating my own obscene version. Please contribute (or flame me and tell me to grow up) ...
So far it goes:

'A' you're an Arsehole
'B' such a Bastard
'C' you're a creepy little cock

V- a Volcano zit

W - you're a wankbadger

X - you're a xaboita (a naughty word in Portugese)

Z you have zero personality
(Best I could do)

Well that was fun! :)
Here's my finished ode - I had to edit it a bit to get it to scan - but thank you everyone for your impressive contributions. I've now ruined this song for everyone forever... Cue sweeping violins :

A -You're an Arsehole
B -You're a bastard
C -left my coochy full of crabs.

D -you're a douchbag
and E you're an eejit
For sleeping with that slutty skank called babs.

G -you're a gormless twat
H - hung like a tiny gnat
I -you're an effing Imbecile

J -you're a jockstrap
K -you're a kinky fuck
L - have a breath of Howard Keel.

M,N,O,P, I could go on all week Q,R,S,T, alphabetically speaking, You're a freak

U made my life a wreck, millstone around my neck
V -volcano zits live on your dick

Wankbadgers are your friends
X- thank god we're at the end
Z - CoZ I have been fucking your friend Rick

Btw I have no idea if Howard Keel's breath smells but for the sake of this song it does :) :)

Gutted to see this at over 30 posts knowing I've missed my chance as only 24 letters. :-(

What happened to Y?

• we can slip in a y- as a kind of question:

...'thank god we're at the end' (why?) see what I did there :) :)