to ask what the most important factors actually are in helping children do well academically

[somewherewest]

According to a poster over on the AIBU thread about grammar schools several essays suggest that "the most deciding factor of any child's academic achievement at school is the educational background of its mother and/or the number of books in the family home".

Is parental education genuinely such a decisive factor? If it is how do we go about trying to promote an educational 'level playing field' for all children?

over a period of time they did plonk their DC in front of toys and ignore them for entire session

I am a sahm, I am interacting with my DC from 6.30am until 6pm when DH gets home.

A toddler group where I can put my DC infront of toys is my little break and chance to get some adult chat.

That snap shot does not mean I do not interact with my DC at most other times, even though I also, put the TV to do stuff in the long day.

My Other DC is excelling at school with a noted vast vocabulary and is an exceptionally able and advanced reader.

I did the same with her! I looked on toddler groups for a moments battery charge for me as well her her to have a break from me, and interact with other children and play with new and different toys.

I am horribly upset I might have killed any pleasure for them.

I doubt it, its something they know is there, and with all other distractions going on for the young I can understand why picking up a book may not be as attractive as to was to a generation when it was the Main entertainment.

Its great they have such a good drilling and hopefully when they get older they will drift back.

Hexu2 Thu 25-Sep-14 12:22:41

I see your points and it must be very frustrating!

However I think what your describing is a mixture of dis empowerment and not thinking its in their power to help or change their DC for the best with support, and also perhaps apathy and also, the sometimes fraught relationships between school and parent, which comes up many times on the Education boards.

Perhaps, instead of listening to the parent complaining for two years someone at the school, the teacher or someone could have reached out to that parent and said, can we help you, to help that child learn his tables?

yes but the parents are engaging with your child, I doubt they are not engaging with their own, just pointing it out to you.

Pretty sure they were interacting with my DC as she spoke and she got obvious feedback - I also think she was engaging my DC to get my attention - which she got as she was very nice to talk to though strangely oblivious IMO to her own DC.

I had 3 under 4s so I'm aware how sanity saving toddler groups can be. I also had a toddler when we lived in another area - I never saw this behaviour there even though parents spent time talking to each other.

TBH when we moved here, it's a heavily deprived area within it, I thought the children centres pretty patronising - all the little talks the play leaders gave about playing well with your DC and the insistence chairs were out and we all had to be on the floor with the DC at their eye level so we'd interact. I thought it completely unnecessary but after a while I could see where they were coming from.

I suspect that you've just never seen this behaviour. ( I also don't think it the parents fault - it's some how their normal)

Perhaps, instead of listening to the parent complaining for two years someone at the school, the teacher or someone could have reached out to that parent and said, can we help you, to help that child learn his tables?

Could well be dismemberment - but I and other parents have offered many suggestions about web pages for the time tables - written them out offered to lent a CD which helped my DC - not constantly but when appropriate. I not actually prepare to go and teach her DC for her- I spend to dam long doing that kind of thing for my own.

It not just this parent - there lot like this - that one example.

Hope no one minds, but I've just added an interesting link here that focuses on a quote above, educate a women and you educate a village. Move a global view on the value of educating girls. I know it is a bit of a deviation, but an interesting one if you've found this thread interesting.

guardian link

Or you maybe like me and have your iPad open to many pages you want to read but just don't have the time!

My sister has 2 dds who have achieved very well. There is not one book in the house except school books when dds needed them. We come from a family of readers but my dsis never read and neither does her dh. They are sporty very active in the local community but no books . They literally never read to their dds but sent them to lots if sports music lessons etc. They also never read a paper or have one in the house. Their two dds were very self motivated at school very competitive in a good way and have done very well. The parents paid little attention to this but had a very organised home good routines good food but no homework help or input.l think the fact there was no pressure helped them do better.It very hard to pin down.