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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect a flat that is habitable after shelling out £12k to move in

249 replies

orangefusion · 20/09/2014 22:20

I have posted this in legal but for traffic I am posting here too. I am so upset...

...I have just returned from dropping my son off at his first flat as a tennant- he is in his second year at uni having had halls last year. The flat was found by his friends while he was away over the summer and he did not see it until today.
The place is unibhabitable. There is six inches of damp above all the skirting boards, one bedroom is "being treated" the floor is soaking concrete, the whole place stinks of damp- the air is so humid that nothing will dry, it is insecure and the windows need to be open to breathe but it is a basement in New Cross- there are no bars or proper window locks so the windows have to be kept shut. The b***d landlord has taken 6 months rent off the boys, and a £2100 deposit. There was a dead rat in the bin which had clearly been a live rat when it climbed in. I had to leave him there but I wanted to bring him home again or check him into a hotel.
What rights have these poor kids got? The place is disgusting and I am at a loss to know how calling the agent is going to make any difference because they knew it was like this when they let it. They will fob me off with platitudes but they do not have to live there.
I want to cry- he was so excited about living out of halls but this is just so awful.
Any legal bods out there who can suggest the best thing for me to do to help?

OP posts:
BomChickaMeowMeow · 22/09/2014 12:26

FWIW I don't give a shit who reports it -whether it's the parents or the students. And being better off has nothing to do with it - no-one should be taken advantage of like this. Being materially and educationally advantaged gives you more of a chance of dealing with it, and to make the landlords sorry they crossed you.

I didn't have a clue what to do when we had a bad landlord as a student, and my family didn't know much more either. I was on a full grant and my parents could give me about £10 a month to help me out.

I just wish people would have a bit of fucking compassion on threads like this. The smug cuntery around on here at times. So you would have known exactly what to do at 18 would you? Well, take a fucking Biscuit

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 22/09/2014 13:00

I'm both a landlord and a tenant and can see both sides.

OP - I feel so sorry for you and your son, you both must feel so duped. That's a horrendous amount of money to feel like you've shelled out for nothing/a complete pigsty. I wish you luck with Environmental Health et al.

On the other hand - I can understand what Laquitar and others are saying. What possessed them to rent such a dive in the first place? Didn't any of the three sets of parents putting up deposits etc question the amounts?

I don't think others upthread are victim blaming - just saying everyone concerned could have taken a couple of extra steps to check things out. After all, you wouldn't buy a second hand car for £12,000 without test driving it first, would you? So long as the rental world remains so poorly regulated, sadly as a tenant you do have to be extra careful - it shouldn't be this way, but it is.

I'd also second your son and his friend doing some of the leg work in terms of seeking redress. If it's their names on the rental agreement, there'll be limited action you can take personally. You can find out all the details etc but it'll have to be their names on official letters and such.

Good luck with resolving this and hope your son finds somewhere better quickly.

whois · 22/09/2014 13:34

That photo is fucking awful! BUT what on earth were the boys thinking agreeing to rent such a hell hole? And why wasn't your son involved in trying to find somewhere?

Dizzywizz · 22/09/2014 13:44

I would agree with pp that the actual tenants should be the ones on the phone dealing with this, rather than you as parent - I work in a letting agent and we never understand why people who are old enough to rent a property and live away from home cannot make the phone calls themselves - tbh it makes them look a bit silly.

Spickle · 22/09/2014 14:49

My DCs have both been tenants in shared accommodation at uni.

I feel very sad for the situation you are now in. I didn't see my daughter's flat until last Thursday (she is also starting her second year) as she had viewed it many months ago and signed the contract there and then. Luckily her flat is nice but no furniture/white goods other than a single bed, so although she and I were upset that we've had to buy stuff for what could be only one year, it's a lot better than you have to deal with. It is a lesson learned though.

I hope you and your son get some answers from the uni's accommodation people/landlord and/or local authority.

Chelvis · 22/09/2014 17:30

Was just browsing moneysavingexpert and saw your thread on there - what a bunch of arseholes. Reminds me why I prefer mumsnet, even aibu is friendlier! Just wondered if you'd had any luck with environmental health?

SteeleyeSpanx · 22/09/2014 17:33

He's an adult, and you need to butt out.

This kind of helicoptering once kids have left home is just not doing them any favours IMO

Fairyfellowsmasterstroke · 22/09/2014 18:15

Wow Steeleye - how totally unhelpful and unnecessary.

OP is the one paying the rent and is doing her best for her DS who has never entered the private rental market before.

Your comments are unkind bearing in mind the anguish the OP is going through.

Musicaltheatremum · 22/09/2014 18:21

Steeleye, that's awful. Why can't parents help their children? I'm all for them becoming independent but they do need support and guidance. My parents advised me. If I was the OP I would have done exactly the same and helped out. Wouldn't like to think you were my parent. It could well have been that the landlord to,d the boys it was getting fixed and at 19 I would have believed him.

SteeleyeSpanx · 22/09/2014 18:30

I suppose I see a difference between helping DCs in the short term and looking at the long term picture.

I'm not denying for a second that if OP swoops in to remedy this problem, then it will go away - result being that her DS's problem is solved.

However, IMO, a better long term solution is for her to leave him to fix it himself - then his takeaways will be

  1. Some landlords are arseholes and you need to be very careful dealing with them
  2. Never pay any money for accommodation without seeing it first.

These are two very valuable life lessons that he needs to learn, this is a good, safe way for him to learn them.

SteeleyeSpanx · 22/09/2014 18:32

Fairy I guess that is my point: OP really shouldn't be anguishing herself over this. She needs to detach and let him be a grown up.

AllMimsyWereTheBorogoves · 22/09/2014 18:32

Don't you think he'll have learned those lessons from this sorry tale anyway, Spanx?

AllMimsyWereTheBorogoves · 22/09/2014 18:33

Also, if the money concerned was the young man's, you might have a point. It is in fact the parents' money. This gives them a clear interest in ensuring that it is not simply thrown away.

ajandjjmum · 22/09/2014 18:41

There is of course a half way house Steeleye - parents are likely to be taken more seriously than students, and he will learn from it in any event - as my son did when a similar thing happened to him (not so bad though OP!).

Good luck in getting it sorted.

orangefusion · 22/09/2014 18:43

Well, I have learned a lot these last two days I can tell you. But I am not going to dwell on the nastier stuff here (and on mse) because there have also been some lovely, kind people who have genuinely tried to offer me sound advice, some have pm'd me rather than post here and I have been overwhelmed by the thought that some people have cared enough to write to me personally and offered me real and practical help, and this has bouyed me up.

So, an update.

I called EHO this morning and tenancy relations at LC (and yes, the boys should be doing this but they have no wifi and little credit on their phones and they dont know what to say- it is just quicker if I do it). Tenancy relations told me that they only get involved if there is tennant harrassment. EHO told me it may take 2 weeks to get someone out to look at it.

The Deposit reciept has appeared now and a gas cert will be emailed to me tomorrow. The landlord has apparently appointed a company called KILLTOX to sort out the damp although they make no mention of where the boys are to sleep or live whilst the place is made good and dried out- this is my task for tonight. I will be requesting alternative accomodation or our money back in full as the place will still be wet for months and they need to be in dry accommodation for the start of term in a week.

The picture I posted by the way is of one of the "bedrooms", on Saturday morning before I arrived, some builders had been round and this was how they left it- it was not like this when the place was viewed by the kids- it had a floor and furniture- of course they are not so stupid as to take a place where a room was like this at the outset.

So my next task is to get the landlord to accept that they cannot live in the place until it is dry. I checked on a couple of damp company websites and they say that it takes a month per inch of depth of wall to dry out after remedial works are done. I suspect that the landlord thinks that dealing with only the room with the three feet of damp up the walls is sufficient but it is not- clearly there is no proper dpc and the whole floor needs to come up and be repaired. I cannot countenance having the landlord use electricity that the boys would be paying for to run dehumidifiers for a month or more while the place dries out. I now have the landlord's number so I shall call him in an hour when he will be "in" (according to the agent).

Thanks again to all of you who have been standing up for me, I really appreciate it. I hope that the others will lay off and that if they ever need help that I can be more compassionate and thoughtful before I fire off emails that describe people as rich, middle class, idiots, I am a single parent living in a terraced house, working 40+ hours per week to pay the tuition and living expenses of a son who might just make a difference because he is studying chemistry in the (probably naiave but possibly not) hope that he will contribute to some kind of science that will improve lives and reduce damage to the planet.

OP posts:
SteeleyeSpanx · 22/09/2014 18:46

There's room for more than one opinion in the world, and ultimately it is up to OP how she chooses to parent.

I just disagree with this infantalisation of young adults, and genuinely worry about the competence of the next generation - I think it has a huge bearing on the current youth unemployment crisis too - but that is a debate for another thread Smile

totoro7ssidekick · 22/09/2014 18:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NCIS · 22/09/2014 18:51

Good Heavens my Dad would have helped me 30 years ago and did on several occasions. I turned out perfectly competent and able to run my own life. It's what good parents do, I'd do it for a friend who was struggling so of course I'd do it for my children.

orangefusion · 22/09/2014 19:02

I have just spoken to the LL, he was very polite and said he will visit the property himself tomorrow as he has been "busy with other properties until recently". He will go with the damp company.
I explained that I was concerned that the place was so wet that it would need to dry out before the boys can live in it (even though they already are camping out in the kitchen- the driest room with some ventilation).
He says he will call me with a plan tomorrow when he has been there. We were both very polite and I shall hold onto this attitude for as long as possible.
Update to follow tomorrow...

OP posts:
totoro7ssidekick · 22/09/2014 19:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whois · 22/09/2014 19:16

Glad there is some progress OP.

I reckon my parents would have helped me out if that had been my first experience of renting a flat. Or at least helped me work out what to do.

EllasMum16 · 22/09/2014 19:30

Absolutely nothing wrong with helping out, I don't even think it's an especially motherly thing! By this logic none of us should offer advice to each other on mumsnet either?!

AWombWithoutAFoof · 22/09/2014 20:04

That's sounding more positive, OP. I wonder whether he might agree to release them from the contract. Fingers crossed.

Azquilith · 22/09/2014 20:06

You go orange

IamHelenaJustina · 22/09/2014 20:16

Good for you OP. I have to make a phone call tomorrow to fight a corner for one of my kids. It's just what you do - for kids, for friends, for family. I did it for my bil when he was terminally ill, I've done it for my mum. It's what you do. the idea that kids must always fend for themselves once they pass 18 is as ridiculous as doing everything for them. The OP is clearly supporting not smothering.

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