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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to really regret the whole grammar school thing.

999 replies

newrecruit · 20/09/2014 11:16

DS1 is in year 4 (DS2 in year 1).

I went to a girls grammar school and loved it. So when we moved out of London one of the reasons we chose this area was the schools. I don't think we are super selective (don't quite know what that means)

However, I was explaining the schools to him this morning as we drove past one and had an impending feeling of doom.

He's bright but can't be arsed. Resists pushing and I am against tutor on principal. I don't think he'd suit an all boys school.

What have I done! We should have just moved to a comprehensive area with a decent intake.

Some parents are already talking about tutors and its 2 years away. I want to hit them quite hard.

Please pile in and tell me to get a grip.

OP posts:

TalkinPeace · 26/09/2014 14:19

Beyondrepair
Passing the 11+ is just a nicety.
The fact that the costs of attending a SS school are beyond the means of many is a far more pertinent issue in favour of local schools.

Without free buses and extra late buses and equipment support and welfare funds for things like DofE, families on the median wage or below can only consider their local school.

Verycold · 26/09/2014 14:20

Funnily enough Colyton has about the same percentage of fsm as one of the comprehensives that one poster here is so happy with...

TheWordFactory · 26/09/2014 14:28

talkin funny how your objections to SS are based on the poor not being sable to access.

Yet you've said in the past that you drive past your local school because it's a 'shit hole'.

Why do others have to use their local school, but you can have your choice?

TalkinPeace · 26/09/2014 14:28

verycold
That is as may be : it depends on the FSM in the LEA to show whether they are representative of their area.
Colyton is not.

DSs comp is 2% lower than the county wide average - which reflects the fact that its not a city school.
there is no school with more than three times the average
and the schools with significantly lower than average reflect their catchments pretty accurately.

Colyton's catchment overlaps all the others : it should thus mirror them - if it was fair admissions of the top 25% (as per its own site, not 5% as people say)

TalkinPeace · 26/09/2014 14:30

Word
I drive for 13 minutes and the public bus takes 20 minutes and runs day and night .... that is why families much less well off and educated than myself make the same decision and why that school has 400 empty spaces.

TheWordFactory · 26/09/2014 14:34

Riiiiiiiggggghhhhhttttt

So your exercise of choice is fine and dandy, other folk - not so much...

Hairtodaygonetomorrow · 26/09/2014 14:36

Colyton does have entitlement for free transport if it is one of your nearest three schools and you are on FSM or max tax credits. So, you wouldn't get to travel from another county, but from around the local catchment inc. villges and outlying areas.

Greengrow · 26/09/2014 14:37

I hope whether at a super selective private or state or a comprehensive or religious school or educated at home all children know that exa grades are not the only thing. Surely whether you are an atheist or religious one of the main things we teach our children is about all the aspects of life, not just getting As. I would hope the best private schools provide education in the broadest sense, limit numbers of GCSEs and give lots of time and chance to learn who you are and expose you to a wide range of life enhancing hobbies and giving you a chance to lead (or follow 9f you're more that way inclined). In a sense I pay for a super selective to ensure exam grades are NOT the main thing rather than the converse.

Hakluyt · 26/09/2014 14:38

There is a difference between exercising a choice which is perfectly possible for everyone- going an extra 5 minutes to school, for example- and being denied any choice at all, because one of the two schools available requires your child to pass a test to get in.

TalkinPeace · 26/09/2014 14:38

No, I did not say that.

I chose one comp over another.
I do NOT believe in exam or god selection in state schools.

All the schools in this county are comps (except the Catholic ones but they have zilch religious restrictions round here)
Every school caters for all abilities.

Some schools should never ever have been handed to a particular academy chain - so every right minded parent avoids the two of them (the other has over 350 spaces as well) but they are still comps
and some kids still excel at that school ( for which they deserve special recognition when it comes to University time )

Verycold · 26/09/2014 14:40

Exactly word. So where I am my dc wouldn't get into the ever so lovely comp, but into a far worse one locally, but hey, that 's just to be accepted...

I believe a purely comp system would be far worse because then it would be all down to house prices!

Hakluyt · 26/09/2014 14:47

"Exactly word. So where I am my dc wouldn't get into the ever so lovely comp, but into a far worse one locally, but hey, that 's just to be accepted..."

So is your contention that everyone who supports the comprehensive system has children in "ever so lovely" comprehensive schools?

Verycold · 26/09/2014 14:51

All the supporters of the comprehensive system seem to be really happy with their choice of school... which begs the before mentioned question - why do we need to change things at all?

Hakluyt · 26/09/2014 14:53

Because there are many people in this country who do not have access to a comprehensive school. That is rather what this thread is about...........

pearpotter · 26/09/2014 15:10

^Why is selection at 11 (grammar/religious schools) wrong yet selection at 18 (University) right?

Simple
the latter is based upon the choice of the individual receiving the education
the former is based on the prejudices of the parents.^

Everything is based on the prejudices of the parents. Especially whether or not someone goes to university.

Verycold · 26/09/2014 15:13

And there are those who don't have access to the comp they would like, because they can'f afford a house in the catchment area...

pearpotter · 26/09/2014 15:14

Because there are many people in this country who do not have access to a comprehensive school. That is rather what this thread is about.

There are many people who don't have access to a decent comp, as they can't afford the house prices or to rent in the catchment area.

The best thing would be to make all schools great. Until that utopia happens, I'll make the best of the system as it stands.

MoanerLiza · 26/09/2014 15:17

Talkinpeace I agree with you. I have relations in the midlands and there is no transport subsidy to the Birmingham state grammars, not even if you have FSM. I find that really shocking and it must be a huge deterrent for low income families. I believe these schools are considered super-selectives.

BeyondRepair · 26/09/2014 15:21

But linking to an article seems to suggest that the writer of the article has some sort of knowledge or authority

Is that how I presented it?

Or did I say it was an interesting article, just like the blog piece you linked too.

Missunreasonable · 26/09/2014 15:23

Carrying weaponry provokes rather than diffuses situations

Most people don't go around publicising the fact that they are carrying a knife if they are carrying it for protection rather than bravado. In my 14 year old brain carrying a knife and using it if required was a preferable option to being raped on the bus on the way home or having my face disfigured in the toilets at school. It might not seem logical as an adult but it did as a frightened 14 year old.

BeyondRepair · 26/09/2014 15:26

As. I would hope the best private schools provide education in the broadest sense, limit numbers of GCSEs and give lots of time and chance to learn who you are and expose you to a wide range of life enhancing hobbies and giving you a chance to lead (or follow 9f you're more that way inclined). In a sense I pay for a super selective to ensure exam grades are NOT the main thing rather than the converse.

BeyondRepair · 26/09/2014 15:28

In my 14 year old brain carrying a knife and using it if required was a preferable option to being raped on the bus

Please don't feel the need to justify yourself to posters who have had the privilege of private, grammar or other forms of schooling, but most have not had the raw experience of what you describe.

BeyondRepair · 26/09/2014 15:29

All the supporters of the comprehensive system seem to be really happy with their choice of school... which begs the before mentioned question - why do we need to change things at all?

So you have noticed too.

BeyondRepair · 26/09/2014 15:31

So is your contention that everyone who supports the comprehensive system has children in "ever so lovely" comprehensive schools?

What is lovely to one is poison to another. Whats your definition?

Missunreasonable · 26/09/2014 16:09

Thank you beyondrepair . It means a lot.

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