Woman who is blind in the Quiet Coach - was I unreasonable? [Title edited by MN at request of OP]

[TheOpaqueAndJelliedTruth]

I was going to post this on the thread about small, unreasonable irritations, but I don't actually know if I was being unreasonable. I was in the quiet coach on a long-distance train, trying to sleep. They'd just done the 'and coach B is the quiet coach, please do not use mobile phones etc.' bit. I know sometimes they book you into a quiet coach automatically, but I'm pretty certain they don't on this train. FWIW.

A woman was using a phone that played messages to her, quite loudly. After a few minutes when it was clear she wasn't planning to stop anytime soon, I got up and said excuse me, this is the quiet coach, would you mind not using your phone? She totally ignored me, so I repeated myself, and I realized at this point that she was blind (hence, obviously, needing her phone to play her messages, which I hadn't cottoned on to).

The bloke sitting next to me said, as I sat down, that she was probably using her phone because she was blind - I got the impression he meant I'd been unfair to ask her to stop.

What do you reckon? On the one hand, obviously she has a disability. On the other hand, it's still rude to be disturbing a whole coach of people, many of whom were clearly trying to sleep. And I've no clue why she completely ignored me, as obviously she could hear.

Well if she was alone she wouldn't have known it was the quiet coach

YANBU in my opinion. We should make allowances when things can't be changed, but the woman could presumably have moved to a different coach - or just stopped.

If we are all to treat the less-abled in the same way that we do fully abled, then you were perfectly reasonable to ask because she could have changed her behaviour.

She could have used headphones.

She'd got a booked ticket, so at some stage, she or someone else obviously decided the quiet coach was a good idea.

But yes, I assumed she didn't know, initially, without realizing she was blind, because lots of people don't listen to the announcement. I probably wouldn't have said it if I had realized in time, but I wondered whether it was fair for her to be using her phone, just as a general thing.

Hmm difficult one - I'd say she was in the wrong though, as it's not essential to use your phone, iyswim?

Also think she was rude to ignore you.

Sorry, that was to amy.

tiny - yes, she could.

Surely she should have used an ear phone?

I actually wondered if there was some reason she'd ignore me - I'm very ignorant about sight loss, and I don't know if that's something that would be particularly difficult to respond to? I can't imagine she couldn't hear me but maybe she couldn't tell I was speaking to her?

YANBU, it would have annoyed me too. There is a reason for booking the quiet coach, to get some peace. Obviously she may not have known she was a in the quiet coach but headphones would have been more sensible.

she was rude to ignore you and rude to do this in a quiet coach as someone said earlier she could have used headphones

She may not have been ignoring you.
I work with someone who is both deaf and blind, I have to touch her to get her attention.

She may not have known it was the quiet coach, but once someone alerted her (you!) she should have said, "Oh, sorry...didn't realise" and then either stopped, put on headphones, moved or explained why she couldn't do any of those things.

Ignoring you was completely rude. Hard to say whether her initial action of listening to her messages or not was unreasonable because we don't know whether she knew it was the quiet coach.

I don't think you were unreasonable for asking her.

Ohnoyou But if she could hear her messages, then she could hear the OP.

ohno - well, she clearly wasn't deaf!

I feel as if touching someone who is blind would be ruder than touching someone who's sighted - I would not like to be touched by someone I couldn't see, even if it were just a tap on the shoulder.

I'd be annoyed at a string of loud messages being read on any public transport.
She should have headphones to access her messages in public.
If anything else, for her own privacy.

YANBU, she was rude. If she had a legitimate reason for not using headphones she had the chance to say something to you, but she didn't.

Yanbu. Once she knew it was the quiet coach, she should have stopped.

Oh, good, looks like I am not the horrible disablist person I was slightly worried I might have been. Thanks all.

YANBU

She woul shave heard the announcement prior to using her phone.

Whynwouldanyone want everyone to hear their messages anyway? She should have been using headphones.

Hmm I think if she as blind then using headphones would prevent her from hearing other noises that she would need to hear, like train announcements for example. In your situation, I wouldn't have spoken to her anyway and it would make me appreciate that I don't have that disability. FairPlay to her for using a train with a visual impairment.

You were perfectly in order. As someone pointed out earlier, we make accommodations for disabilities, and rightly so - but actually she was perfectly capable of stopping, perfectly capable of understanding why when alerted to the problem by a fellow passenger, and perfectly capable of hearing the original announcement. Perhaps a one-off message would be sort of OK, particularly if she didn't realise at first, but in ANY coach playing them for ages through the loud speaker would get pretty irritating quite quickly. It's inconsiderate and she should plan not to disturb others by using earphones.

Hey I'm not having a go I'm just saying.
Visual and hearing impairment takes many forms, different frequencies different visuals etc. I don't think you were unreasonable at all, but she may not have deliberately ignored you. I was just pointing that out.

Yes, that's true, headphones might be awkward. Though I have never actually used headphones of the kind that block out all noise. Generally, you can hear outside noise and know to stop playing whatever you're playing, don't you?

I spoke to her before I realized she was blind - fair enough if you're saying you wouldn't have done that anway, but I did want to point that out again.

I do appreciate that I don't have that disability.

I can hear lots of things in my headphones. But she could have a one hear phone if she was worried about missing other sounds.

YANBU, she was extremely rude to ignore you and to continue to play messages. If she desperately needed to use her phone she could've used headphones.