To think my niece should be allowed to wear makeup to school.

[PiperIsOrange]

DN came home rather upset today after being told makeup is banned in school. She doesn't wear a lot just some foundation and clear lipgloss.

The reason she likes to wear it is because it covers all her spots, in the summer holiday she didn't wear any. My sister has taken her to the doctors and tried every OTC lotions and potions but nothing works.

It really boost her confidence and now she is dreading school because of these spots.

I have been to her school to collect school reports as dsis due to work commitments and have seen many teachers wearing makeup, so I assume it's a policy for pupils only.

That would have been hell for me. I started to get lots of spots when I was 10-11 and felt so self-conscious about them (& other kids bullied me because of them).

I had years of gp appointments and trying out different treatments, none of which worked. I was referred to a dermatologist and fobbed off by them for another couple of years.

It was only when I was 17 and, after a lot of crying/insistence that they took me seriously and sent me to another better hospital that they prescribed me roaccutane, which got rid of them in 3 months.

It really isn't necessarily simple to sort out and it made me very miserable in my teens. No makeup policy would have made me feel a hundred times worse.

Absolutely agree with starlight that there is no evidence that makeup has any negative effect on acne when worn and removed properly. At my step daughter's school (secondary), both girls and boys wear medicated concealer to hide severe acne, and when backed by a doctor's letter, there is sweet fa that the school can do - they most certainly can not insist that they remove it, far less provide wipes and force them to, or subject the child to any disciplinary procedures.

Excellent advice from pp (sorry, on phone and can't go back to get name), re going to gp, pushing for further meds and advice, and having a letter written explaining why op's niece is medically advised to wear medicated concealer to not only assist with clearing the acne (poss alongside antibs), but also for psychological reasons, as this could clearly have a detrimental effect on the girl's mental health.

I hope your niece/her parents manage to get this horrible issue sorted as soon as possible.

What a bloody sad thread.

Hope your dn gets things sorted op.

It's funny as one poster stated that some of us parents were siding with the kids and had forgotten we were the adults.

I have 2 adult children ( Iycwim) and 2 teens and am amazed at the lack of empathy, Insight and support on here for teens. By adults.

Some need to grow up.

dog it's not a problem love it's normal.

Personally I would find teens applying makeup perfectly as a bit wierd.

As the mother of 4 teens please grant me the joy of piss taking and photographic evidence of the big hair, fake tans, emo/rock/Indi years as pay back for the decades of sleepless nights!

Thebody- don't you think though that there is a balance to be found between Anything Goes, and being sensitive to the sort of issues the OP brings up? I think a sensible approach is to support a policy/practice which leads to the least disruption to the pupils's education. So let students cover skin problems if not allowing it would make them lack confidence and withdraw, yes; but don't introduce a situation in which teenagers are wasting time and attention in the loos preening and competing over the deepest fake tan/longest eyelashes etc etc.

There's a middle ground.

Agree, BOF. I don't see a problem with tango (or, for that matter, deathly Snow White) faces, and tarantula leg eyelashes, Gallagher brother brows, bejewelled talons etc etc being banned, but absolutely believe that a bit of confidence enhancing, subtle concealer/powder, or medically advised cover up should be allowed without humiliating or drawing further attention to an already self conscious pupil's skin.

Yes of course Bof totally.

The pupils need to be on time for class, ready to learn, respectful hard working and good citizens of the school.

How they dress or makeup should be as it is and not important to anyone else but them.

I was a spotty teen, not as bad as my sister who ended up getting tablets from the GP.

Neither of us wore makeup at school. A slight alteration in diet sorted mine and still does when I get an outbreak. Very rarely wear makeup now and even then it's very subtle nothing fancy.

Basically no makeup for a spotty teen with low self esteem is perfectly possible. Just because some people don't get worse spots from wearing makeup doesn't mean that others won't.

Instead of encouraging her to break school rules why not encourage her to like who she actually is? Makeup is just a mask :-/

It's really stupid to make children wear uniform to school because it trains them to be conscious of workplace conventions, but deny girls the right to wear makeup despite the fact that very few women would dream of going to work without makeup.

I have huge sympathy for teens with spotty skin and I feel this sort of silly rule does far more harm than good for those afflicted with acne. It's a horrible skin disease. Nobody should be made to walk around all day every day advertising the fact that she has it. Acne can do a lot of psychological damage. What is the harm in helping a teen mitigate the effects? Not all teens have it, and that is what makes it so heard to bear. Why should the girls with spots have to stand out?

My DDs have always worn makeup to school as teens if they felt like it and got up early enough, and they don't wear uniforms either. It hasn't rotted their brains and it doesn't cause issues wrt school discipline. They have emerged from school knowing how to present themselves in the very polished fashion that is expected in the real world.

We follow our dress code, they follow thiers - they are different - part of life we are teaching them about.
Their school is nothing like this, thank goodness. They are taught that they are heading towards adulthood and given a little harmless freedom to practice with.

(As an aside to the OP, your niece should insist on Roaccutane.)

Oh and boys and transgender students are welcome to present themselves any way they want too...

www.proactiv.co.uk/ worked really well for an ex co-worker.

I'm a bit torn about this. I remember having terrible acne as a teenager so I really sympathise. But as other posters have said, I don't like the idea of girls learning to rely on make up for confidence and self esteem. I don't like that at all.

The last thing she needs for spots is makeup, when it is just spreading the problem round her face unless she uses a clean sponge for every sweep of the foundation and then washes the sponges in hot water (or brush) every single time. Never putting the sponge/brush back from her face in to the foundation.

Have the school banned concealer?

We were not allowed makeup at school, there was an art to applying foundation so that it could not be detected - dn should try that.

She a;so needs a good facial beauty regime, again avoiding any cross contamination.

Seriously....your are totally BU

Schools have rules, as real life and society does afterwards ... Students and teachers have different roles and rules... Your niece is a child, the teachers are adults

On your logic should your niece always be able to do what an adult is doing?

Why the rush.... Surely this is an opportunity to discuss someone's real beauty is what's in their heart and soul... Although it's human nature to judge on appearance this really isn't what life is about, Not moan about being unable to cover her up!

Look at her diet and exercise, skincare regime, talk about not touching her face and go makeup free to support her!

It is not about the severity of the acne it is how it makes the individual feel, there is not one single photo of me from the age of 11 to 18 even though mine cleared at 16. My self esteem was shot, I missed far too much school partly feigning illness but also anxiety making me physically ill. My school life was crap, luckily I managed to catch up at college but acne changed me as a person and I do not think I ever really recovered.

take her to bobbi brown

get her some really good foundation that cannot be seen you can get a free 45min make up lesson

Posters who go on about "inner beauty" and "be who you are" have never had bad skin. Thomyorke nails it - acne can change a person. The anxiety, self-consciousness, the inability to look someone in the eye, the mortifying horror of knowing a new spot (or several) are coming. It's beyond horrible, at the very time when you need all your inner strength and confidence to deal with the intellectual, emotional and physical challenges of teenhood.

OP, the whole makeup issue is a distraction. In fact I generally support a no-makeup policy for school. But PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE get your niece to a GP or referred to a dermatologist who will take her condition seriously. Don't let her be fobbed off if an intial prescription doesn't work. FYI Laser therapy (sometimes available on NHS) is incredibly effective with no side effects.

My brother took something from a dermatologist, "accutane" I think? He was very pimply but it, and it all cleared up, to flawess skin. He was on it for a fairly long time and then had to go off of it, due to a side effect on his blood. Long time ago, I guess the 80's, so probably even better medications now.
Birth control pills used to be prescribed, but that was in the 70's, not sure about nowadays?

My daughter just gets teenage spots, no acne

But when I asked her if she wanted any concealer she said no

Because, she said, I am a free spirit

I thought that was funny

But as someone who gets cyst type spots I feel a lot more confident with foundation/concealer

It is a shame if she can't wear a bit of light coverup, it can make a world of difference to their confidence

Okay, so those who insist on no make-up in school, do you also insist on no hair removal from legs, underarms and face?

Any school policy comes about because boundaries are being pushed. A student wearing very carefully applied foundation or concealer to cover spots is one thing. A student wearing an excessive amount of eye-liner and mascara with a face that isn't a close match to the colour of their neck is another. It's understandable that a school would be concerned about the distraction that excessive make up causes and the preening required.

What is sad is the need teenage girls feel to wear lots of make up. DD wears make up, did so in secondary school and continues to do so in sixth form, but even she was at the girls who were applying make up on their DofE expeditions - well they did in the first two, but by the third realised the folly of doing so.

I don't wear make up, but DD has been well looked after by SIL, who is a trained beautician and won't condone anything that doesn't look natural.

I agree she should try a tinted moisturiser discreetly applied. To stop her taking steps to cover her acne seems unkind.

theres a very good foundation which looks green in the tube and turns skin coloured when you put it on...it neutralises redness....tinted moisturizer won't cut it.

my dd school has a neutral make up policy ive just spent 6 weeks convincing her bright purple is not neutral! (no she is not being serious but she likes to test me with a smile!)

I get the occasional spot but my main problem is my very uneven skin tone and pink cheeks (not rosacea, just a bit "ruddy" ) so I use Bare Minerals foundation powder. A bit of primer and then the mineral powder, my skin tone is completely smooth and even but it's really not noticeable because it blends so well. I'd recommend it to anyone.