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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who is bu about splitting the cost of a holiday?

257 replies

LilacCroc · 13/09/2014 20:55

Not a typical AIBU, because I don't want to give away which 'side' i'm on, so that I get un-biased replies.

So the situation...a family of 4 (2 adults, 2 dc) are about to book a holiday. The cost is £500pp and because of free child places, 1 of their dc can go free, so total cost for them would be £1500.

Another couple, very close to the family (the dc's Godparents) will not have their own dc for that week as they are staying with their bio dad. So they put the feelers out about joining them on holiday, the family are more than happy and make them welcome. Fab.

So...now there are 6 people going, 4 adults and 2 dc, that means that overall they get 2 free childs places, so now both of the dc of the family can go free.

So the total cost of the holiday now, for all 6, is £2000.

The family think that each adult should now pay for themselves, £500 pp. The dc don't 'count' as they're both free.

The couple think this is unfair and that as the total cost for 6 people is £2000, the free childs places should be discounted and the total cost should be split 6 ways, with the couple paying £666 for 2 people and the family £1333 for 4 people (ish).

Who is right and who is bu?

OP posts:
sunbathe · 13/09/2014 22:36

Yes, suggest they get their own cottage on the site.

'Dc want to have their own beds.'

SoonToBeSix · 13/09/2014 22:40

The couple , it's the children that are free.

Haffdonga · 13/09/2014 22:41

You are right. They are wrong. Do not go on holiday with these people.

Or, alternatively...
The first child discount is all yours because the holiday was originally planned for just the four of you (so you benefit from the full 500).
The second child discount is shared beween the six of you because it happens only as a result of there now being 4 adults. So you split the second discount of 250 each.

So you get total a 750 quid discount. They get 250 quid discount.

But still - just don't go with them.

EverythingCounts · 13/09/2014 22:43

I'd say 'Why don't we compromise and pay 1250 and 750?' and then if they stick to their guns say 'look, we were always happy to go on our own and we don't want to spend the holiday with all of us being tense with one another over the price, so let's leave it this year'. and never plan another holiday they know about

DaughterDilemma · 13/09/2014 22:47

Does one of the dc have to share accommodation with the couple?

QuintessentiallyQS · 13/09/2014 22:50

Look, the issue is that you both want the second child discount that their coming with you presents. You want it for your second child, they want it for themselves. You want a £500 discount so that you spend £1000 instead of £1500. They want the £500 discount so that they spend £500 instead of £1000.

Who is most entitled to the child discount? A child or an adult couple? There would not BE a second child discount if there was not a first child. There would not be a second child discount if there was not a second couple!

You are stuck!

Unless the couple concedes that the only people getting a free place are children. As a goodwill gesture you could split the discount, so 1250/750 split. That would be fair.

ABlandAndDeadlyCourtesy · 13/09/2014 22:53

Them paying just £500 would be bonkers as your kids have to share whereas with your original £1500 spend they wouldn't have to!

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 13/09/2014 22:54

The only fair way is £250 discount each. You getting £170 discount is not fair as you are giving up sole occupancy of your holiday cottage and this is worth more than £170 discount. They are getting a cheaper holiday and you are totally changing the nature of your family holiday to facilitate that. Sure you might enjoy their company but then again you might not and it does change things significantly having them there.

I'd call the whole thing off after their response tbh.

sykadelic · 13/09/2014 22:58

If they didn't go: You pay $1500

If they DO go: You save $500 while they pay their entire trip? That's not fair to them at all, you profiting from their holiday... BUT they're also taking advantage of your kids going to get a discount for their trip.

I think being split 5 ways is the most fair. That way everyone gets a discount. The reason for 5 instead of 6 is because one child was already free so the godparents going doesn't affect your cost for that 1 free child, essentially there are 5 people paying to go, so discount should be shared among those 5.

However, if you're already arguing, I would say this probably isn't a good idea.

slithytove · 13/09/2014 23:01

Will have incidentals like outing costs, transport, drinks, snacks, treats etc.

It would not shock me if they expected everything to be 1/3 for them.

If you aren't that fussed about them being there, why not just dinghy the idea? It doesn't sound like saving a maximum £250 would be worth it.

Inertia · 13/09/2014 23:01

I agree with everyone else...

  1. Do not go away with these people. Everything will be an argument. Or tell them to book a different cottage at the same complex.

2.If you decide to share the holiday with them, the only fair way to split the cost is to split the difference- so first child gets the free place you would have had anyway, and the £500 from the second free child is split equally. You pay £1250, they pay £750.

The problem with you taking the free place is that there's only a free place because of them.

The problem with the couple's argument is that you were originally paying £1500 for a spacious cottage with only 4 people in it. They are now asking you to pay that for a cottage which will be more cramped with more people in it.

  1. See point 1.
cerealqueen · 13/09/2014 23:06

Just take the 'free' place aspect out of it and read it as a discount you all get because of the number of people going and share if fairly. Then you keep your friendship and your DC keep their godparents.

KnackeredMuchly · 13/09/2014 23:09

Don't go with them.

SweetsForMySweet · 13/09/2014 23:13

IMO it is not worth risking your friendship over so just agree to disagree and book for your own family (and pay the extra for the second dc) and if the couple want to book for themselves separately that's fine. Tbh it sounds like the other husband does not want to go on holiday with your family and is only willing to go if they get a cheap break mainly at your expense. If you go on holidays with them, he will probably nit pick at everything and ruin everyone's holiday.

impatienceisavirtue · 13/09/2014 23:15

The kids places are free. Not the adult places. 500 per adult.

wanttosinglikemarycoughlan · 13/09/2014 23:18

£500 per adult but I would go without them

MidniteScribbler · 13/09/2014 23:18

This has disaster written all over it. Tell them to get their own cottage or not go.

YellowTulips · 13/09/2014 23:21

What Explored said early in the thread.

Reasonable to all parties.

ADishBestEatenCold · 13/09/2014 23:22

"Is the other couple paying £750, and the family paying £1250 an option?"

^^ this

Veritata · 13/09/2014 23:22

I say split the discount. You wouldn't get the discount but for the other couple coming along, therefore they're entitled to half of it.

bubalou · 13/09/2014 23:24

I agree this holiday sounds like a nightmare and I think you're perfectly reasonable to pay the £1,000 each.

It's a free kids place!!! They aren't paying for it! Why should they get money off for it!?!

Cheeky, tight, rude and ridiculous.

Think your offer of a meal was more than fair and I would tell them to bigger off now if not good enough Confused

starlight1234 · 13/09/2014 23:25

I have skim read this post op..

I strongly advise about this holiday. if you previously had a good relationship. I would say you value their friendship and really don't want to fall out about it so maybe it is better you go separately or they book nearby.

PeachyParisian · 13/09/2014 23:28

I don't think it's fair to make the couple pay an even half when the other family's DC are benefitting

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 13/09/2014 23:30

Honestly, don't do it. I'd put money on you not still being friends with them by the time you get back if you do.

But to answer your question:

If I were the couple I would pay £1000. We wanted to come on the holiday that you had booked and that is the cost of two additional adults. I would see the fact that you didn't have to pay for your other DC as a nice little perk for you. It wouldn't occur to me to think about it in terms of splitting the 'savings' - I would simply see it as a 'free child' iyswim.

It is totally different to a situation where you book a villa for x amount then split the cost (in whatever way you decide) because it isn't actually a discount of £500, it's a free child place.

YakInAMac · 13/09/2014 23:44

Split the discount. The second free child place is the concession offered because of the extra two laying adults. So why shouldn't the paying adults feel some of the benefit of that ? If they had their child with them their child would go free and the family would get no further discount. The family benefit financially from the other two adults, why should they be the only ones to benefit?

Family £1250
Couple £750

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