Was I being unreasonable to check that this child was Ok

[PiperRose]

So first I'll come clean and I say I work in Child Protection, which I know will have coloured my judgement on this.

Right. So it's a lovely afternoon and I'm sitting in my living room with the patio doors open. At the side of the house there is a field with a public footpath running down it. I'm happily MNetting and I hear a child screaming, sobbing and shrieking for mummy. I take a look out and see a man with said child who is around 2 over his shoulder marching down the footpath and out if sight. I settle back on my chair putting this down to terrible two's, but something is niggling and the child is still screaming.

So I get up and walk to the the top of the path and see the child is sitting on a step, still screaming and the man has come down to his eye-level and is trying to reason with him. I turn away, relieved that everything is ok and hear the man tell me to 'mind my own business' . I stop and almost say something but think it's better to just leave it.

Now I'm sitting and quite literally fuming over it.

You did the right thing

YANBU. You didn't interfere and watchful eyes are sometimes necessary.

I'm really confused by you needing to check? I thought most SW in CP would have thicker skins!

How is everything ok?

Everything is ok, because them man whom I'm assuming is dad was talking to the child in a very loving way and trying to calm down what was clearly a tantrumming child.

nerf I'm confused by your comment.

if one of mine was having a tantrum and I was trying to deal with them and had someone watching my every move it'd piss me off and stress me out

while you (and now us) know your intentions, the guy didn't and probably thought you were judging him/ being disapproving about his DC kicking off.

I just thought you've probably had to deal with worse.

Well, he did have every right to tell you to 'do one' if he felt you were going to unjustly accuse him of something. He was probably extremely aware of the fuss and noise his kid had been making and also how it must have looked a man hoiking a kid off over his shoulder.

Stop fuming. You did a good thing. He was doing a good thing. You caught each other on the raw... the kid is alright!

or

You were right to check; and if I'd done it I would have expected the 'MYOB'

CP is so hard

SW is not something I could do

And that you would have enough training/experience to know checking was the right/wrong thing.

Totally the right thing to do, you never know. Tho my DP would probably say the same thing as it's a bit embarrassing when your LO kicks off, let alone having someone come to check you're not kidnapping then.

I wasn't exactly watching his every move, he had passed my open door and the screaming alerted me to what was happening. I then peeked around the corner of the path and then walked away.

However I do appreciate that he was probably a bit embarrassed that the child had drawn attention.

So why was the child shrieking for Mummy? Imagination running wild here, glad I don't work in CP.

I agree with nomama, you weren't in the wrong at all but he probably felt stressed/embarrassed and was having a grumble.

Hmm. Agree with MrsTerryPratchett about watchful eyes, but also reminds me of people who post on MN about people staring at them and feeling judged and embarrassed when they're trying to deal with their child who's having a tantrum.

would you have done the same if it was a woman with a screaming child, out of interest?

Nerf yes I've seen a lot worse but that doesn't mean that I'm still not worried by a distressed child.

yanbu
it's good that people are looking out for the more vulnerable.

Heartshapedbox Yes. Absolutely.

Yes that's not my point. I just thought it weird you'd be fazed by the comment and need to ask mumsnet if you were wrong. Whatever.

You did the right thing. Better to be safe than sorry. Ignore the comment and be relieved that you didn't see on the news that a child was kidnapped next to your house and you having to live with the guilt that you didn't do anything.

so there's no issue then, surely?

I'm quite surprised you only got a "myob" though, that's pretty mild

There's nothing wrong with reassuring yourself that everything's as it should be and that goes whether the parent is male or female. I certainly don't assume paedophile when a man is with a shrieking kid.

I think the red flag for me would be the fact the child was over the man's shoulder. you absolutely did the right thing to double check - imagine if ot had been an abduction and you had done nothing!