To wonder why the Press aren't banging on about the age difference between George and Amal?

[CateBlanket]

looking at these pictures he could be her dad but are the Press banging on about the 16 year age difference? Er no. You don't think it's because he's a man, do you? If a woman of 53 was marrying a 36 year old man, she'd be labelled a cougar and he'd be a toyboy but Amal isn't being called a toy girl!

Yes, I was struck by how much make up Princess Di had on and that her foundation was too thick and orange, though in pictures it looked better.

I swore to myself that I wouldn't curtsy. I said hello and acted natural. Or so I thought. When I got the souvenir picture of our meeting she's Amazonian and glamorous and gracious and I'm cringing and grinning like a toady.

My mum displayed that picture in pride of place for years until she died and I could remove it.

Clive James described Barbara Cartland's face as like a chalk cliff into which two crows had crashed.

I won't have a word said against her or Bob Monkhouse though. I had to ask celebs about their perfect Christmas. As you can tell by the fact they are both long-dead, this was some time ago.

Because of the lead time of the magazine I had to do it in September and it was a slog. They were so nice. I phoned Dame Babs and she asked if I did shorthand. I said I did and she said: 'Good. So many gels don't now and I speak rather fast.'

Then she rattled off some anecdote from Christmas 1847 when some dashing young Hussars fought a duel over her.

Bob Monkhouse told me a sweet story of everyday showbiz folk - he and his gorgeous wife Jackie were spending Xmas in their villa in Barbados when a freak hurricane blew everything down and took out the electricity, phones and water for three days in terrifying isolation.

But their lurrve and tinned food not only helped them survive but made their marriage stronger. It was veering into perviness, TBH but I left those bits out.

Like many a sleb (well, the very few I've seen in real life) George C is really really thin, much slimmer than he appears on screen. I think that's why (proportionally), his head looks quite large, as a PP mentioned up thread.

On the age difference front, yes, when the man is older than the woman the age gap has to be at least 40 or 50 years for the press to comment (e.g. A recent story about a 90 year old man marrying a 24 year old. Yes, he's a billionaire in case you were wondering). And people always mention so-called 'cougars' (urgh, I hate that expression. Might as well call them stalkers who trawl the streets with a chloroform rag) when the age gap is much smaller.

Age gaps only bother me (and even then, it's none of my business!) if the younger person is very young as i instantly worry about their relative lack of experience. However, this matters less as we age I suppose. As Rusty and her lovely picture demonstrate, you don't bat an eyelid as people get older.
Btw Rusty - your hair is lovely and thick in that pic....

Kiefer Sutherland and Ewan McGregor both have enormous heads and tiny bodies and are pocket-sized.

Once you know that, you notice how many scenes there are where they're sitting down or standing over someone lying on the ground with a gun and a man-bag shouting: 'Tell me where the bomb is, dammit!'

It works in cinema though. There are so many shorties that tall actors look awkward.

Kiefer also looks like utter shit. Grey-faced. He's nice though. Ewan, not so much.

Oh I used to love Ewan. But then he turned into a bit of a wanker and I went off him a bit, and then he got comedy veneers and I went off him completely.

Then she rattled off some anecdote from Christmas 1847 when some dashing young Hussars fought a duel over her.

limited we will agree to disagree on La Feltz, but I am with you on Barbara Cartland. She was ace. A product of her time of course, wrt her opinions of marriage etc, but also so so much more. Eg she was massively into gliding, and she designed and patented a type of glider. In fact it became quite instrumental in the war effort and she was recognised for this.

Didn't she also have a very loyal scribe who she valued for the fact that they could get cracking on with something crazy like a book per month - BC dictating, scribe capturing in shorthand and then typing up. I like to imagine that BC was reclined on a chaise, with pomeranian and truffles much of the time, as she happily raked in millions of pounds.

Are you actually kidding??? A duel in 1847???
I've never 'met' any celebs - although I've seen them in public - haven't most of us? - and yes most are 'tiny', skinny massively tall or a combo of all three - the camera definitely distorts them

I think that was embellished for dramatic effect.

More likely to have been fisticuffs between two members of the Household Cavalry in 1872.

I like to imagine that BC was reclined on a chaise, with pomeranian and truffles much of the time, as she happily raked in millions.

IScream Little Britain sent that thing up. It might have been true.

When she died I learned that she had environmentalist leanings. I'm really not at all environmentally-aware myself. I don't remember the details, but she wanted to be buried in either a cardboard or wicker coffin (wicker is suitably expensive ) in a woodland setting without being embalmed.

That also reminds me of Michael Winner. He was demonised but I found him nice. Quirky, but nice. I also agreed with his thoughts - his view that you can't take it with you, so spend it while you can. And that you only have a short time on Earth, so why spend it with people you don't like? That was his blunt explanation for always asking who else was on the guest list, btw.

I'm midway between Dame Babs and Michael. I don't want to be bored by people but I want them to rend their garments at my death. Ideally at a public holiday in my name

I imagine that really BC cultivated that image of herself, as she knew that shrewd, clever lady, probably born before her time wouldn't sell quite as well with her audience.

But appara, she did love a violet creme.

By contrast to the giant head brigade, Elle MacPherson has a tiny peanut head

Maybe the press are transfixed by her ginormous nose

Being married before doesn't mean he's not gay!

Well no clearly it's not absolute proof but people do say "he's not married, he must be gay".

I met Bob Monkhouse when I was a teenager volunteering with children with cerebral palsy. I think he had a son with Down syndrome and did a lot of volunteering on the QT. Good man.

Speaking of peanut heads, whenever I see Luisa Zissman I'm reminded of the cult 1932 film Freaks. And then my mind wanders to this happy bloke

OMG my head is small - I'm soooo hurt that you are taking the piss
Proportionately men have smaller heads than women, so it's not a prob if a man has a peanut - however I can say I'd rather have a man with a cattle head tnx

Btw I feel traumatised at the images of the cult film 'freaks' wtf!!???

MrsMindful Freaks is good. Honestly. The 'freaks' rise up against the 'normals' in terrible way that's justified.

'One of us, one of us'

Lol yea looks really good me and my 16yr old dd will have to watch it

Limitedperiod:
GC's dodgetastic baggy trousers of old bloke doom will give me pleasure for days!! Suits You Mr Clooney OOOO Sir!

Amal's nose is BEAUTIFUL! I would defend her and her own natural face and I would slap on the table any woman whose had her nose needlessly reduced. A beautiful woman like her should never feel she has to button up her nose like a Hollywood eejit. She doesn't have to have the Hollywood uniface! She is herself on her own terms. Poor lass.

Re famous TININESS!
I was once at a private do following some big concert and we were next to the A list roped off section, so past me walked in single file and quite close
BONO
BOWIE
EDGE
ADAM CLAYTON (who he?)
GEORGE MICHAL
NOEL G.
lord have mercy You could put any of these guys in a roomy clutch but for the Edge and Adam Clayton who were starting to look like normal sized people rather than Happyland inhabitants. Go figure fame and the short man

At a press conference for Pirates of the Caribbean someone asked Tom Hollander if his character had a Napoleon Complex. He's about 5ft 4ins.

He glared at the bloke for ages without speaking and then said: 'Fucking hilarious. You fucking wanker.'

The conference moved on but he kept muttering: 'Wanker', 'Twat.'

The reporter went over to apologise at the end. I thought it was brave and was expecting his ankles to get a thorough savaging. He grovelled and said it was a horrible misunderstanding. Tom Hollander accepted the apology and said sorry for being so sensitive and they ended up having a laugh about it.

The reporter told me it was one of those moments when you have a word going round in your head that you must not say and you just blurt it out anyway. I think he was telling the truth.

I was at another press conference where a reporter repeatedly asked David Boreanaz if he dyed his hair. I think it was safe to say yes. That was deliberate but if anyone ever deserved winding up more...

Boringarse stormed off and complained to the PR who asked me what had happened. There was no way I was going to drop this bloke in it because he was a laugh. He was French so I managed to convince her that it was a question about film make-up and that he just didn't speak good English.

Who are Tom Hollander and David Boreanaz????

Tom Hollander was once of the first 'celebs' I worked with. He did some voice work, which meant spending a fair amount of time with him in a relatively small space.

He managed to be both miniature, and a MASSIVE COCK.

Arf at ankle savaging.

Tom Hollander is the little guy who plays Rev.

Hollander is Rev, from Rev.

Boreanez was Angel in Buffy and is on Bones.

IScreamForIceCream I didn't realise TH was a twat. Maybe it was deliberate after all...