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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Advice needed? Rude comment at drop off

100 replies

isaterror · 12/09/2014 10:19

My DD started Reception last week and has been getting upset upset at drop off so we've started taking things in with her to take her mind off it. This morning we picked a sunflower from the garden and she was really excited - but as she went in to class, a classmates Mother said loud enough to be heard by my partner and DD "look who's the class creep - what a teachers pet!'"

I'm so annoyed! what sort of thing is that to say to/about a 4 year old child?

Aibu to want to say something to her at pick up? A few polite but very well chosen words perhaps?

Thoughts please..?

OP posts:
MillyONaire · 12/09/2014 10:23

Sorry - no ideas but what a nasty person that mother is!! Shock

Flexibilityisquay · 12/09/2014 10:24

YANBU to be annoyed, but I would ignore it, and say nothing. A parent with that attitude is unlikely to respond well to you having a polite word.

WowserBowser · 12/09/2014 10:24

Yeah, i would, if i was brave enough.

It's really pathetic for a grown up to say that kind of shit.

numptieseverywhere · 12/09/2014 10:24

can you remember exactly who said it? If you can, I would definitely approach her after school and ask her what she was thinking of, making such a vile comment.

YouTheCat · 12/09/2014 10:24

Just ask them if they feel all big bullying a 4 year old?

What a twat.

Norfolknway · 12/09/2014 10:26

OMG!
I'm surprised you were so restrained at the time!

Your Poor DD and what a vile person.

I wouldn't know what to do, I'm more of an impulsive person...I probably would have already made a bad decision Confused

NewEraNewMindset · 12/09/2014 10:27

Unfortunately the world is populated by dumbasses who happen to be fertile. Ignore.

Hope your daughter settles in soon xx

hellsbellsmelons · 12/09/2014 10:27

I'd be turning up at pick up with a gorgeous pot plant.
Handing it to teacher right in front of said 'weird lady', doing a curtsey and shaking teacher's hand! (Then put an apple on her desk)
Then send DP in on Monday with a huge box of chocolates and make him bow down to said teacher.
That should do it!

I seriously cannot believe a grown adult could be so feckin' childish. She sounds like she's gonna be a fun mum!!! Avoid. Avoid. Avoid.

MrsPiggie · 12/09/2014 10:28

Shock what a nasty piece of work that woman is. I would definitely want to say something, but I'm not sure I could for fear of getting into a serious confrontation - you never know with people of that type. I bet she turns out to be the mother of the class bully.

weebarra · 12/09/2014 10:28

Some people are twats. Ignore her, your DD sounds lovely.

TheLovelyBoots · 12/09/2014 10:30

I think she's probably a person best avoided. That is a fantastically strange thing for an adult to say to a 4 year old.

ComeHeather · 12/09/2014 10:30

Ignore ignore ignore.

You've got to spend the next few years alongside this person and she will be nothing but trouble if you engage with this stuff.

She's being dreadful with that remark but just keep away from toxic people like this. She will soon be known for this kind of thing and will be ignored, and you will move on and meet lovely people.

Any further trouble, speak to the HT. Don't mention anything in front of your child, so she doesn't worry. Your DD might well go on to be friends/sit next to/ be in the same group as, her child, you never know, and children don't need to be upset by inter-adult conflict.

Tempting tho it is to have words with her yourself, from the school's point of view this will make you just as bad.

I8toys · 12/09/2014 10:30

What an arsehole - its hard to respond at the time because you can't believe someone could be such a bitch! Avoid here at all costs and well done you for not ripping her head off.

LadyLuck10 · 12/09/2014 10:31

Yanbu, awful woman bullying a child.

QuintessentiallyQS · 12/09/2014 10:32

Ignore, and make a mental note to avoid that mum.

serenaserene · 12/09/2014 10:33

People are weird. Ignore and steer clear! Not worth a confrontation. You have 7 long years of playground and spiteful party manoeuvres ahead.

YeGodsAndLittleFishes · 12/09/2014 10:34

Sadly good manners and self restraint are not prerequisites of being able to procreate. You'd think she would have an ounce of empathy, or at least foresight that this is her child's class for the next year. It is a shame she didn't stop to think that saying that isn't going to put her on the teacher's pet list, and what teacher wouldn't be thinking that an apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Surfsup1 · 12/09/2014 10:35

I would let the teacher know what happened. That kind of aggression is pretty strange.

iK8 · 12/09/2014 10:37

Ignore her. At least everyone who heard now knows she's nasty and best avoided.

ChelsyHandy · 12/09/2014 10:37

I've had a similar comment and I'm afraid, without barely thinking, responded out of hearing of her child, "and heres the school sociopath". She was left mouth opening and shutting like a fish.

Badvoc123 · 12/09/2014 10:37

Wow.
What a nasty piece of work!
I would have said - very loudly -
"Oh, look who the bitchy parent is! We know who to avoid now!"

WipsGlitter · 12/09/2014 10:39

It is for things like this that I have perfected my "hard stare".

MrsWinnibago · 12/09/2014 10:39

OP definitely DON'T say a word. The best reason I can come up with for such an uncalled for comment was that she was trying to be funny and it came out mean....also she may have thought that you were bringing it for DD to give to the teacher...and in her eyes that made her jealous....that she never thought of it....but really, what a stupid cow she sounds!

Having said that I know a woman who really is genuinely nice but she says some things which are Shock and ALWAYS regrets them afterwards...once at pick up a woman walked in to the yard in a maxi dress with a check pattern and my friend said "Ooh! You look like a picnic blanket!"

Shock

Then as soon as she'd said it she went red and was embarrased...she's got no filter.

Ignore this woman. Don't say a word.

Original poster
isaterror · 12/09/2014 10:40

Thank you everyone for replying and being so supportive. I'm so torn between doing the right thing - which like a lot of you say - is to avoid her like the plague - or to tear a few strips off her and get it off my chest!!!! . Hellsbellsmelons how funny, what you said made me laugh. Thank you.

Ps. Will mull it over and turn up at the school gates armed with the heaviest saucepan I can find in the house! (Not really) xx

OP posts:
Mammuzzamia · 12/09/2014 10:41

I would ignore...for now