Advice needed? Rude comment at drop off

[isaterror]

My DD started Reception last week and has been getting upset upset at drop off so we've started taking things in with her to take her mind off it. This morning we picked a sunflower from the garden and she was really excited - but as she went in to class, a classmates Mother said loud enough to be heard by my partner and DD "look who's the class creep - what a teachers pet!'"

I'm so annoyed! what sort of thing is that to say to/about a 4 year old child?

Aibu to want to say something to her at pick up? A few polite but very well chosen words perhaps?

Thoughts please..?

What a nasty woman, I woukd have told her what a twat she is being mean to a little girl.

Calling a child a creep and teachers pet on her first couple of days in school.

Yeah, of course, that will be hilarious

In the alternative universe that this was a joke, she's still a wanker to avoid.

That's the nastiest comment I've ever heard directed at a small child! I presume other people heard? She will have marked her own card, because there's no way I would be talking to her after hearing that.

Personally, I would say rise above it and ignore (difficult I know).

A joke gone wrong? She called the little girl a creep, that's just nasty

At least you know now thats shes a twunt.

I really hope that in a similar situation I'd have been able to say "Haven't you heard of Show and Tell?" but I think stunned silence would be more likely.

Anyway you know her now - and you can store up "Oh dear, are you having a bad day?" with a sympathetic head tilt, for future use. Needs look of concern, not scorn. 90% chance she'd blush and splutter; 10% chance you'd be reaching out to someone feeling very insecure and anxious.

Balaboosta are you actually the other mum trying to turn the tide! I wondered earlier about some threads like this one which are so specific, I'm fairly new to mumsnet but have there ever been threads where someone realises that they're the other person being discussed in an AIBU thread?

There has ILovePud

They usually turn out to be where the OP is telling a load of lies or a mass argument breaks out, thread deleted, names changed etc..

I also agree with Chased. Dont let her see you are bothered. Some people are just horrible for the sake of it. Another parent once commented to her child about a model boat my son had made as a project. I was really upset by it. The fact she calls a small child a creep shows you exactly the type of person she is so avoid at all costs

Think of it this way. This woman has done you a favour by showing her true character already. You are now armed with this knowledge and can happily ignore her existence for the rest of your dd's school career.

Yep ignore. Don't waste emotion on her. Take comfort in the fact that she is so socially inept that she has managed to make a fool of herself on the first day.
If she says owt again in your hearing then a bland but assertive reply such as suggested previously "was that directed at me?" would be great. Show that you're the adult. I'd prob say s/t like "oh dear, that's unkind, you're really showing yourself up".

punch the crap out of her :)

Wow, this thread is enlightening to me.

It is the sort of thing I might say as a teasing joke to break the ice with people, as balaboosta says (although prob more 'teachers pet' with a smile, rather than 'creep'). It explains why I offend people without realising how. Can I just say, you have just met this lady, can you give her the benefit of the doubt for now until you know her better.

See if she'd help you out in a fix in the future. See if she realises she's offended you and either apologises or tries to be extra nice to show you it wasn't meant that way... There's more to being a nice person than never putting your foot in it.

It's probably relevant that I have Aspergers, but then again, you don't know she doesn't...

Dismiss her the same way you would any mentally ill person. She's obviously unbalanced to be that aggressive to a 4 year old.

Dismiss her the same way you would any mentally ill person.

Did you mean to write that shitty sentence? It is neither normal or nice to dismiss someone because of mental illness, a condition they cannot help. Would you dismiss someone with cancer? Or another physical illness too? Also, it goes without saying that being mentally ill is not the same as being a nasty person. I'm assuming you are not mentally ill nor nasty but just ignorant. Educate yourself.

Thank you, iK8. Totally agree.

The right thing 'ignore her like the plague' - you've just met her!

Wait until she's the only one who offers to look after your child when you have an appointment, or the only one to offer a lift home for your child when you can't make pickup. So she puts her foot in it occasionally - I really feel like that should not be the most important thing. Actions should speak louder than words. Will she help you out when you most need it?

You've just met her - have you never said a wrong thing in your life??

That was in reply to a post that now seems to have disappeared!

Did you mean to write that shitty sentence? It is neither normal or nice to dismiss someone because of mental illness, a condition they cannot help. Would you dismiss someone with cancer? Or another physical illness too? Also, it goes without saying that being mentally ill is not the same as being a nasty person. I'm assuming you are not mentally ill nor nasty but just ignorant. Educate yourself.

Obviously that was taken the wrong way. I meant dismiss it and don't take it personally.

If someone with tourette's swore, I would dismiss it and ignore it because they can't help it.

That's all I meant. No need to be dramatic.

OP wait and watch, chances are she will make another.
If she does be ready, say "what an awful thing to say about an innocent child!"
Give her a dead eyed stare and turn your back. Dismiss her give her no importance.

Yes there is, bulbasar, though the fact that you even dismiss it as 'dramatic' when it's just calling you out on obvious twattery says everything. You wrote what you wrote - it was shit and pretty offensive. Sorry would be the classier reaction.

she can help it though, she is a nasty piece of work. If she passes comment again, I would give her a good dressing down.

Balabooster I fail to see the joke of calling a little 4 year old a creep! Where's the punchline.