AIBU to think 2 and a half is too old for a dummy?

[Discopanda]

Disclaimer- this is largely based on my own opinion, I just want to know if I should have a tactful word with the other mum or am just being a snob.

A girl I used to work with has a baby 3 weeks younger than mine so is now 2 and a half, she posts pictures of absolutely everything on Facebook and, no word of a lie, I have maybe seen 3-4 photos of him out of hundreds without a dummy. This kid CONSTANTLY has a dummy in his mouth; he's playing- dummy in the mouth, he's smiling- dummy in the mouth, he's sat in front of the TV- dummy in the mouth. I have no problem with dummies in general, they can be an absolute life saver for younger babies, mine had one but gave them up of her own accord at 10 months but my HV told me that a dummy should just be a last resort if they're upset as it can slow down speech and emotional development if you depend on them (because baby isn't expressing themselves and just being placated).

From what she's shared on FB it's quite obvious that he's behind on his speech for his age. WIBU to bring it up when I next see her and maybe suggest that they try cutting down on the dummy?

My ds also has a bottle in the morning and at story time. If he didn't he wouldn't drink milk. I don't give a shiney shit what people make of that.

Ds1 &2 had a dummy until over 3

Ds3 had a bottle until nearly 3

Ds4 has nothing in his mouth except food and my nipple and at nearly 20 months cant say a word

Id say yabu to say anything

Mind your own business. You're being ridiculous. I say that as someone who dislikes dummys and who never I never gave them to my dc.

YANBU to think it. I agree with you. However, I wouldn't say anything as she is likely to get defensive and not really listen to your idea, so all that will have happened is the relationship between you becomes more uncomfortable.

I would say you are trying to help, dummies can cause terrible speech problems that children carry with them for a long time if used too much and for too long.
However, I wouldn't say anything because the parent has made that choice and I doubt she would appreciate the advice.
I am saying that as a response to the OP and not as a judgement to anyone who has said their child still has a dummy. It appears that the OP's friend uses a dummy constantly (which is where the problems lie) not just for comfort.

Yabu.

I say, say something to your colleague and then post her response here

My 2.9yo DS has a dummy for sleeping and for the car, and sleeping in the pushchair. My Sil's Mil commented on it (nosey old bag comments on a lit of stuff that dorsn't concern her), "wow, you still let him have a dummy? My DGD [DS' cousin, same age] doesn't have one, she doesn't need such comfort".

"Woopeedoo" was my answer with a dead-eye smile.

Think what you like, obviously, but keep it to yourself.

My DD is 3 and still has a dummy at night. We took it away in the day when she was 1, from that point she only had it for sleep times. YANBU to hate dummies. I don't think you are mean or a snob for thinking as you do. In spite of the fact my own dd uses a dummy at night, I still hate to see older toddlers walking around with a dummy. However, I wouldn't say anything over fb.

AIBU

Yes you are

No I'm not

Sigh.

I should probably declare that have a vested interest.

DD still sucks her thumb when she's tired. She's 16. What would you suggest I do?

And why the heck do you care? It's not your child, it's not your business.

Dd has one at 2.4 at night, in her buggy and in the car. She will go and hunt them out at home and then they are generally put away again but as she's about to move house, change nurseries and then have a new sibling I don't think it's the moment to ban them completely. And she doesn't stop talking so I dint think it's the end of the world.

I think is she asked you fair enough but I don't think you should push your opinion on how to parent on her.

It can very traumatic to part a child Fromm their dummy who's not ready.

My dad thought I was too old at 2 1/2, he took it out of my mouth put it in the fire and made me watch it burn so I know it was gone. I remember being horrified and have never forgotten how it felt to have it so wrenched from me.

He was a good dad and thought it was what was best for me but....

I know I'm sad and it was years ago blah blah blah (don't really think about it now obviously) just using it as an example

I don't know why you are getting such a hard time OP. Of course you should stick your nose in and tell her.

Come back asap and let us know how you got on Have you considered filming it to capture the moment you saved a child from the evil dummy?

Make sure you get a close up when the Mum thanks you!

Since you have a child who have up their dummy of their own accord, you have no idea of the trauma of removing a dummy from a child who loves it! My dentist was actually pleased to see my ds with a dummy, as he preferred that to thumb sucking.

Scrambledegg for your two-year-old self.

Disco, mind your own business!!

I knew a child that sucked her fingers like a dummy until she was 10. She turned out just fine. There was another that had her blanket until about the same age, again turned out very intelligent and just fine.

Honestly, if someone started giving me sanctimonious unsolicited advice about how to raise my child I'd tell them to fuck off. I'm sure if we looked through your facebook photos we could all find something to criticize.

Personally, I don't think it would be awful if, when (if) she confided in you a worry about any speech delay, you mentioned as a piece of information that frequent dummy use has been known to affect this. You would have to phrase it in a way that implied she knew this, as she probably does, then you could discuss together strategies to cut it back or something.

Generally I agree you should stay out of it; there are many children that use dummies well after this age, albeit not usually incessantly. You should certainly not give an opinion on it.

My DD never had a dummy. But she sucks her thumb. And carries a blankie. She's 2.3.

She will sit in the pushchair sucking her thumb and holding her blankie, or watch tv or just walk along the road holding her blankie. She doesn't need comforting, she's not upset or scared or tired. She just likes it. It feels nice. It makes her happy. Maybe I should cut off her thumb and take away her blankie that she loves. Yes, that will make me a good mum

Surely this little ones dummy serves the same purpose. I'm personally not a fan of them but couldn't give a flying fig if someone else's child has one. 2.5 is still a baby in my eyes.

Aw thanks iggi don't worry I'm ok now I have wine

He really was a good man, he just thought enough was enough.

Well my DS constantly had his thumb in his mouth at 2.5. Still does at 5. I don't like it but have tried many things and he can't be stopped. No problem with his speech, but it's doing horrible things to his teeth. I wish wish wish it had been a dummy at 2.5 that we could have weaned him off at 3 or 4.

Mind your own damn business, FGS! Who do you think you are?!

Scrambled. I remember mine being thrown in the bin.

Hmm, whereas I can understand people's objections to a dummy at 2 1/2 (My 2 1/2 year old had one until recently) for orthodontic reasons, I do not see how it is anyone's business if another toddler has a dummy and a bit perplexed that people ALLOW it to annoy them and rule their life to the extent of spending time moaning about it.
There is no 'written rule' as to when a child should discard the dummy. I think most people do it for social reasons and because other people 'tut-tut' at them rather than orthodontic reasons despite the latter being the most important.
I gave my baby a dummy because I had read research about it apparently helping to reduce SIDS and because he wanted my boob as a constant comforter which was completely and utterly impractical and downright annoying for me. I was caving in to social pressures about the dummy and people telling my son it was 'ca-ca' (this annoyed me because strangers assumed they were okay to parent my child and fill my child's head full of nonsense). I then changed my opinion. He was fine with it as long as it wasn't affecting his speech and teeth (which it wasn't) and he wasn't going to go to nursery with it!
As it turned out, he bit through all of his dummies last month and vowed that I wasn't going to replace them as long as he wasn't in distress about it. We had one two hour trip of tears and screams because he insisted his dummy was dirty (it wasn't, it just had a tooth hole through it). Over the next two weeks, he carried his dummy and we began to notice that he wasn't actualy putting it in his mouth. A week ago, we got out of the car and he asked for his bear BUT NO DUMMY! Since then, I have carried the dummy around with me 'just in case' but we've had 8 days now of no dummy at all.
Kids will discard of the dummy in their own time. As long as it isn't hampering phyiscal, language and social development, then what harm is it doing? My friend had one until she was 5. Only at home. She is not permanantly damaged in any way by having a dummy until then.

littlebear to you too my darling. they positively scarred us didn't they!

Really it's ok it didn't make bite my nails into my twenties instead