AIBU to think 2 and a half is too old for a dummy?

[Discopanda]

Disclaimer- this is largely based on my own opinion, I just want to know if I should have a tactful word with the other mum or am just being a snob.

A girl I used to work with has a baby 3 weeks younger than mine so is now 2 and a half, she posts pictures of absolutely everything on Facebook and, no word of a lie, I have maybe seen 3-4 photos of him out of hundreds without a dummy. This kid CONSTANTLY has a dummy in his mouth; he's playing- dummy in the mouth, he's smiling- dummy in the mouth, he's sat in front of the TV- dummy in the mouth. I have no problem with dummies in general, they can be an absolute life saver for younger babies, mine had one but gave them up of her own accord at 10 months but my HV told me that a dummy should just be a last resort if they're upset as it can slow down speech and emotional development if you depend on them (because baby isn't expressing themselves and just being placated).

From what she's shared on FB it's quite obvious that he's behind on his speech for his age. WIBU to bring it up when I next see her and maybe suggest that they try cutting down on the dummy?

Dont feel silly but it really does not matter

I met have frequented dodgy circles, but not that dodgy no!

My dd is 3 and still has a bottle at night

flanjabelle, don't feel guilty, you are doing great. There are plenty of people in this world and on mn it seems that only feel good about themselves by knocking and judging others, it says more about them than the person they are judging. Love and nurture your child, don't doubt yourself, there are worse things in life than letting our children have a dummy. When the time comes to wean from the dummy, check out the 'bye bye binky' method, it's meant to be good. Take it one day at the time and do what is right for you and your dd.

'Before you judge someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes, by then you won't care because you will be a mile away from them and have their shoes'

I've had 3DC and only one who had a dummy - until 3. She was very highly strung, found it difficult to relax and it was a godsend.
She is by far my most advanced, articulate and brightest DC.

I'd mind your own business.

DD was a total addict. She would have had it all the time. FWIW she was, and is, a very confident, sociable, happy child. I knew it was bloody awful and managed to get it to 'not out of the house' then 'only naps and sleep', then 'never'. It took forever, it was a nightmare and took lots of work. It involved tears and pleading and bribery and loss of sleep.

Do you think your friend is unaware? I wasn't.

If he still has it at 12 and a half, you might be justified in raising an eyebrow, but at 2? Really?

Both DSs have had dummies for nighttime and naps. DS1 went cold turkey at about 2 1/2, and DS2 is 2 1/2 now, and resisting the idea. I'm struggling to get worked up about it. 2 is still very little. I'm aiming to do away with DS2's dummy before he turns 3, but we'll see how it goes.

Both have had frequent comments about how good their speech is, so the dummies clearly didn't cause too much damage!

2 and half is too old for a dummy. And I say that as a mum of 2 kids who both had dummies after that age.

However if you'd had a word, tactful or not, to me about it I'd have told you to fuck right off. Tactful like.

Honestly what are ON OP? this has nothing to do with you, doesn't affect you in the least little bit and yet you think you should be the one to point out to this child's mum that she's doing something wrong

Mind had one until he was 7. I couldn't care less whether people knew he had ASD or not.

My 2 and a half year old has a dummy. She uses it when she is in her buggy and sleeping.

It is none of your business so stop judging.

Personally I think dummies are the work of the devil.

I think they look bloody awful and are generally unhygienic.

I can't see they are great for dental hygiene or proper tooth growth in older babies either.

Having said that each to their own - I wouldn't comment on it. Yes I think a 2 year old with a dummy looks silly but then I don't like to see babies with them either. However it's not my kid and not my decision (and it's not as vile a seeing babies with pierced ears).

Judgey pants firmly on and I'm not taking them off

Agree with Yellowtulips; think dummies are revolting and neither of my children had one, BUT would never ever ever suggest to anyone else that their child shouldn't have one. I have seen four year olds bring them to school, (one being a teacher's child, and he also had milk out of a baby's bottle).

I'm judgy, I think 2 years old is too old for a dummy

This reminds me of a recent baby walker thread.

Whatever I think about dummies, I would never comment on anyone else's use of them.

Take up a hobby?

The NHS clearly states that a child should not use a dummy beyond the age of 6-12 months as doing so will cause problems for them learning to speak. The evidence is quite clear that using a dummy at this age or higher is not good for language.
www.nhs.uk/video/Pages/when-should-we-ditch-the-dummy.aspx?searchtype=Tag&searchterm=Information%20Service%20for%20Parents&offset=17

However, the question of whether to say something or not is a tricky one and really depends on how well you know her. If she brings up concerns about her child's language development, you might ask if she had considered taking away his dummy, as the NHS says it can cause problems with language. But, tbh, lots of people don't care about evidence and don't take kindly to unsolicited advice - even if you're right.

Do you want to be remembered to her as that bloody interfering woman?

Nope, nothing to do with you. Leave it well alone.

And I share your hatred of dummies

My youngest dd is nearly 4 and loves her dummy but is only allowed it at bedtime and if she is tired and tearful on a long journey or something. I'm not bothered, she will grow out of it.

This is a hard one as it is down to individual children (sits on the fence)

I was on holiday this summer with my extended family and my nearly 3 yo niece still has a dummy, only when she is tired and she will give them all to santa at Christmas, which I think is perfectly reasonable. My MIL spent the whole time when she had it in telling her to take it out, with various reasons - she can't understand her, it spoils the photos, it's not bedtime. She was BVU, DN only used it when she was tired and quite frankly it was better than her grizzling. Don't interfere

MIL seems to have forgotten that both my DD had theirs still at that age, only for bedtime and when necessary and she never had issues with them.

Oh and as a positive note DD1 was speaking before she was 1 and is now an Oxbridge candidate, I don't think the dummy did her any harm

The dentist will tell her that she shouldn't have one (as mine did a few weeks ago) she can either a) listen and respond or b) do nothing. She is entitled to do what she wants.

If you do say something, expect your friend to be pissed off with you for interfering.

Nephew is 5 and still has one. I inwardly pull a face whenever I see him with it but I would never mention it to SIL as it is not my place.

As some have said the dentist may mention it to her. My SIL has decided to pay no attention to her dentists recommendations but that is her prerogative. Keep schtum OP

2 ds, no 1 was pretty highly strung as a toddler and young child and kept sucking at bedtime until he was almost 7. Ds 1 loved his but solomnly gave his up on his third birthday. Both were highly devoted to their dummies.

They are now aged 24 and 22, both highly articulate, easy going and successful. All children develop at different paces, some ready to give up sucking earlier than others. No judging here.

Why do you think this woman - not your friend, clearly - is too stupid to know that dummies aren't great at over 2?

Oh, you don't think she is stupid? None of your business.

I had mine off dummies and bottles at 6 months but I sucked my thumb until 23. Want a word with me?

Ds is nearly 3. He has a dummy at night and if he finds one to suck on in the day in the house he has it in then. We have tried everything. I now have a 8mo too and in all honesty I'm finding them both v difficult at the moment. My toddlers dummy comes beyond last in my worries. If you were or anyone else were to say anything judgey about his dummy I would tell you to fuck the fuck off.

YABU