To feel a bit of sadness to see looks gradually fading

[Maisyblue]

Just that really, I wonder if we all take it for granted when we have young fresh faces. I can remember when looking in the mirror first thing in the morning before putting makeup on wasn't an unpleasant sight. Now it's a bit of a scary sight. Also it gets longer to get ready now to look half decent. Isn't it a bit sad to see the face that was once young and glowing slowly start to fade.

Between this thread and the board I use as "home" on mumsnet, I've come to the conclusion that the average mumsnetter is 44, btw :o

And laqueen - I've known MIL 12 years and she's always been old. She's 9 years older than my own mum, who is only just getting old. I asked DH if he ever remembers his mum as not and old woman, and he doesn't. It finally clicked when someone pointed out to me that MIL was born pre-WW2 and my mum afterwards. Those few years have put more than a generation of differences between them.

And I wish good posture was free. HMS has done for my spine just as much as my knees and feet. I've shrunk 2cm since my yoof and, even with my head held high, have a bit of a hunch. And I did used to have a lovely straight back and long neck.

Dancing really helps with posture-any kind of dancing. I noticed when living in South America that everybody dances -there is no perceived age limit-and dancing improves posture no end, but it also engenders self confidence and joy. Its also about the walk. I was taught to walk "like a woman" at around 12, which caused me too much hassle from men at a young age, but I still walk like that out of habit. It has been noted that I have a "strut". Well, hell yeah. Like John Travolta says at the end of Staying Alive (a classic!) "You know what I'm gonna do now? I'm gonna STRUT!"
And why not?!
I get tired of women's beauty being reduce to a set of prescribed attributes. We are taught to dissect ourselves mentally-tits, lips, hair etc. Photographs in magazines do this too; focus on individual body parts, in a somewhat fetishistic way. But we are not a collection of body parts. We are whole people. We have an essence that encapsulates the whole person, and that is shown by the way we move, the way we talk, and , lest we forget, what we talk about. I am not immune to worrying about my various features, but at the end of the day, I am more than the sum of my parts.

What's inside your head is more important than what's outside. Interesting people are always attractive.

I know exactly what you mean. I've been putting off getting my passport photo for ages. I'm 28 in my last one. Would happily swap wrinkles for spots now. I also wish I was actually as fat as when I first thought I was fat...
Went to the pub last night &, unexpectedly, an old crush was there. I could have died when he looked me up & down. Last time we met I was wearing white jeans & a tight t-shirt. That was two & a half stone ago...

www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/178942
I read this and walk tall. Age is just a number :)

Yes the loss of youth is a bitter pill to swallow but none of us escapes having to come to terms with it.

Think about it, if youth starts to fade from mid to late 40's onwards then you have 30 or 40 years of adult life as an older person.
That's about the time I've had so far as an independent adult, surely enough time to come to terms with it and get on with enjoying the next phase of life?

it's not as if some of us get the short straw and are doomed to wither away whilst the luckier ones get to look perpetually 26.
Mourning the loss of youth is a universal human experience...them's the breaks folks

I've no looks to lose so I'm not bothered. Though luckily I seem to have inherited my family's tendency to look young for their age, so I'm hoping to overhaul vastly better looking women in the attractiveness stakes just by having my own teeth and natural hair colour .

I'm going to be 40 in the morning!!!!

No kids....that saved me a bit of ageing it seems, but the possibility is still there so who knows...

Have been thinking about growing older and have decided that yes I was a stunner when young, and I had my day and enjoyed it, and have the photos etc. I am not going to bemoan this, I am going to age gracefully and quietly. I do weights and am slim, I run, I walk for miles. I wear good clothes and makeup and have pretty hair. I still go to gigs. I don't drink often.

We all face ageing (if we are lucky) and I will face it well. Could do without the wrinkle between my brow and must remember not to purse lips haha but still, feel in the prime of life.

Can't recommend weights and stuff enough actually. Good definition is a pleasure to see. Shall get out of bed now and do some actually, prior to a day the London acoustic guitar show for my birfday!

It is really galling that we only apparently have 10 'good' years when, according to the media, we are visually acceptable. I am 46 and don't look that amazing, but then I have always been quite plain really. Looking back I suppose it was a blessing in disguise as I am used to being judged on my personality rather than my looks. I have lovely looking friends who have really felt the loss of their looks - people aren't so nice to them, they don't get the same admiring looks - at least I don't have that.
I have found that as I get older my face is getting more like my lovely dearly departed nana, so that's nice too.

i am in my late 30's, of indian origin, both parents are indian. I have 4 kids....from 21 to 3 and another on the way (last one) I had my fist child at 18. Nevertheless i love my face and body more than wen i was in my 20's. I have absolutely no wrinkles and no grey hair......its all down to genetics, but i do not take it for granted. being older for me means being wiser ;) i am happy with how i am aging and wen i look at 20 something pics... i can swear i look younger and better now ;)

here is a pic of me.... and i didnt even look like this wen i was younger.... nobody ever even took interest.... but in my 30's they all did.. and eevrybody thinks my 21 year old and my 19 year old are my brothers ;)

Smile!
I was told this week that a woman who I will be working with called me "the lovely smiley lady" to describe me. It made me very happy. I spent years not smiling in photos as I thought I had fat cheeks. Since I hit 40 I seem to have developed a fuckem attitude and feel able to just be me. It is so liberating and my life is far happier for it.
I am not any great beauty and my body has certainly aged despite lots of exercise but I am fitter and happier in my own skin now.

Wow Healthy! You are beautiful.

Happy Birthday something.

Some wonderful posts here about accepting encroaching age.

This is a well timed thread for me. I've not taken a huge amount of interest in my appearance for quite a while, although I did lose a couple of stone last year (put around a stone back on and am now in the process of losing it again). Saw some photos of myself at a wedding recently and thought 'fucking hell, when did I turn into such a middle aged frump!' I'm 41.

So... Operation De-Frump has begun! I've been doing a Start Anew September, eating the right food (no sugar, low carb/paleo, no processed shit), no wine [sob] until next weekend and then just moderate amounts of red at weekends only instead of the gallons of white and bubbly I like to glug. I've lost 5lbs so far without feeling remotely deprived (apart from not drinking at weekends, which feels bizarre). I've never been remotely interested in fashion, just wear things which flatter my shape, but I'm realising that I've got to start dressing a bit more wisely and get more of a style. Ditto makeup, as my skin is shit (always has been) and my eyes (best feature) are a bit droopy and hooded. I've always worn makeup, but not a huge amount, and I think I need to invest in some decent foundation and stuff now. Have just hennaed my hair as it was mousy, dull and going grey. I'm contemplating a fringe, but am very nervous about that. I tend to just scrape my hair back as I hate the sensation of it on my face, but that's not at all flattering and I need to find an alternative.

Main thing is I need to tone up. I have a spinal curvature, chronic pain and dreadful posture, and would really love to get fitter and more toned. I was naturally thin for years, eating crap and not exercising, so I don't have good habits in place.

All this stuff costs money, that's the trouble. I'm telling myself at the moment that I'm not wasting money on wine so can spend it on other stuff.

I've improved with age I think, but that's largely due to having a whole chunk more self confidence now than I used to in my teens and twenties...I hold my head up high and smile a lot. :)

You look amaaaaazing Healthy.
It isso lovely to hear a woman who is happy with her appearance instead of all the self criticism.

Since getting our dog one thing I am pleased about is.....I'm toning up with all the walking, it's brilliant, it doesn't even feel like exercise.

I loved your post IfNot. So well put and true.

Phonebox -

^It's like a cruel joke that confidence tends to come with age, but looks definitely don't.

Why can't Nature give us both at the same time? We'd have the time of our lives!^

Maybe Nature can't do this for us - but we can do it for our DCs....

What a lovely pic healthy, you're beautiful.

I like your attitude, something2say. Agree that I'm glad I had my heyday too. I partied, I wore tight jeans, I had great hair... I've good memories of my yoof.
No kids here either (I'm 38) but I've put on a bit of timber in recent years, which had added to the frump factor. Up until 35 I was slim & stylish.
But I do want to embrace this new era, so I've started my first ever diet (yikes) & am back at the gym. I've also binned half of my wardrobe.
I still have a nice face, I just want my cheekbones back!