To feel a bit of sadness to see looks gradually fading

[Maisyblue]

Just that really, I wonder if we all take it for granted when we have young fresh faces. I can remember when looking in the mirror first thing in the morning before putting makeup on wasn't an unpleasant sight. Now it's a bit of a scary sight. Also it gets longer to get ready now to look half decent. Isn't it a bit sad to see the face that was once young and glowing slowly start to fade.

I used to feel like this until I realised that when I am 50 I will think I was mad to worry about 40, when I am 60 I will think I was mad to worry about 50 and so on
You can waste a lot of time and lose a lot of happiness worrying about silly shit like this instead of getting on with living a life.
And since I started to think like this I genuinely see a better looking face gazing back from the mirror.

I agree it's silly but that's why it's good to talk about it. Talking helps you put it in perspective.

I think Emma Thompson looks natural. I gave many 50 plus friends who look good. Not all jaws sag (prays)

I think Emma T looks great but I certainly would imagine she's had something done as it is her living after all. Her eyes look lifted and her jawline looks great. Or could be the result of having amazing expensive facials every week.

I feel very, very sad about my fading looks. I was never a beauty but I had an expressive face with young 'cute' features. Now my features are blurred and face is sagging and a bit fat if truth be told. I certainly don't look how I think I do in my head. I would probably feel and look better if I did more exercise, drank more water and could get rid of this little core of sadness that makes me mildly depressed.

Poupon that is so sad to feel like that but I totally get it.

As elastamum says, I too might not look as good as I did in my 20's. Luckily I'm still the same weight and would be considered slim by many, but I pay the price with wrinkles! Have come to the conclusion there are many more important things to worry about, we are all in the same boat. Still like to think I look nice, when I make the effort!

I love the "This is water" graduation speech by David Foster Wallace, and the bit about beauty seemed pertinent to this thread - I've included the whole section to give it some context:

"Because here's something else that's true. In the day-to-day trenches of adult life, there is no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship. And an outstanding reason for choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship - be it JC or Allah, be it Yahweh or the Wiccan mother-goddess or the Four Noble Truths or some infrangible set of ethical principles - is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive. If you worship money and things - if they are where you tap real meaning in life - then you will never have enough. Never feel you have enough. It's the truth. Worship your own body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly, and when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally plant you. On one level, we all know this stuff already - it's been codified as myths, proverbs, clichés, bromides, epigrams, parables: the skeleton of every great story. The trick is keeping the truth up front in daily consciousness. Worship power - you will feel weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to keep the fear at bay. Worship your intellect, being seen as smart - you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out."

So yeah - I try not to do that, basically. I try to keep well and strong, and take care of my appearance so I look presentable, most of the time. I looked alright when I was younger, and I look alright now, but different, and older, because I am older. Nothing lasts, and I try to accept that.

Thanks FindoGlask. We know it but get sucked in by the other stuff. Consumerism runs on the worship and insecurity.

Yes it's sad :-(

That's a great speech Findo!

Very insighful of David FW, but reading it my foremost thought is that he recently killed himself, harsh reality is very hard to bear

Great post FindoGask

Thanks guys! I recommend the whole speech - if you google "this is water" there are lots of links to it.

Suzanne, DFW killed himself, not because of harsh reality, but because he'd suffered with clinical depression for many years, twenty I think: he was very ill and had tried, unsuccessfully, every treatment available.

Ok I'm going to get shallow again. I sometimes have this sense that my face is disappearing, you know as in erosion. It makes me think that, if I live long enough, my nose or mouth might wear away completely. Does anyone know what I mean?

No, if anything noses get bigger over a lifetime.

Oh it's not getting smaller, that I wouldn't mind Like I say, the only thing I can compare it to is erosion.

Noses and ears grow, but noses also collapse to a certain extent, facial ligaments stretch causing sagging cheeks and jowls, skin gets thinner, facial fat deposits decline causing loss of volume and general sagging, as does collagen.

And let's not even think about what happens to necks

Yup, that sounds like my face, Suzanne I'm telling you all, wrinkles are a walk in the park.

Noses get bigger over a lifetime? That's my day ruined. I can't un-hear that now.

Which brings me back to Emma T!
She looks 'natural' because of crows feet and lines but none of the other 'deeper' indicators of an aging face which typically start in the mid to late 40's.
She looks fresh and youthful but with laughter line

I am late 40s and have a few lines what are the deep indicators?

We all age differently though. I have a couple of friends who are late fifties, like I am and have far more wrinkles but their jawlines have held firm and they look better than I do. I actually think wrinkles can help - they add definition, which is what I'm losing.

I don't know if Emma Thompson's had anything done but, unless I hear otherwise, I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt as she's never particularly traded on her face and anyone who takes on Nanny Mcphee can't be that vain!

Just reading this and its exactly the way i have been feeling lately. I used to be very attractive (im allowed say this because its not real life), was always getting chatted up and men asking me out and always felt good about how i looked, tall and slim and good looking.... I took it for granted, now im almost 50 and no longer attractive, have extra weight on me, hair constanlty needs to be coloured and just feel so old, and jowly, and dont get me started on looking in mirrors, i took my looks for granted and now they're gone :( Sorry my little poor me story over now!!

yeah. i was reasonably attractive for a period of about say 5,6,7 years. mid 90s to very early 00s.

i'd of course far prefer to look like that again but don't miss it that badly, you've just got to, I supposem grow old gracefully, look after yourself as well as you can in order to minimise the speed of deterioration and do your best not to mentally tie up your identity & self-worth with something so transient.

I definitely miss my good looks. But when I was younger I never thought I was that nice. So many people say to me now how they used to envy me my looks and how beautiful I was. I wish they’d told me at the time, might have made me more confident.