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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DH's tooth pain is not the same as childbirth?

116 replies

LizLimone · 08/09/2014 18:33

He chipped a filling about 6 weeks ago and has been in and out to the dentist ever since. Got two crowns put in, then had a wisdom tooth removed (fully descended, not impacted) that apparently had a cyst attached. He is now on antibiotics to manage any possible infection arising. Since that operation he has been obsessing that he has a dry socket and spends ages every morning standing in front of the mirror examining thre back of his mouth while I wrangle DS into his clothes and get him breakfast and out the door.

We had an appointment we both needed to attend this morning and halfway through he springs it on me that he has a dental appointment to go to because his teeth are still hurting. On the way to his car he says to me 'it might be a dry socket. The pain is supposed to be as bad as childbirth' said with a long-suffering look on his face.

FFS Hmm

I have had my share of dental work over the years, impacted wisdom teeth requiring surgery under GA, abscesses etc. IT IS NOTHING LIKE CHILDBIRTH!!!! At all.

I just rolled my eyes, snorted with laughter and told him to get over himself. WIBU? I literally never want to hear another word about his effing teeth ever again.

And I am 7 months pregnant ATM and I never complain about it! If he had to be pregnant, it would be the end of the world I'm sure... childbirth, my foot...

OP posts:
NinjaLeprechaun · 09/09/2014 00:15

But then I'm not seven months pregnant and haven't been for 10 years....
I misread this sentence slightly.
I'd much rather have an abscessed tooth than be seven months pregnant for 10 years.

wobblyweebles · 09/09/2014 02:04

Toothache, dry socket, ear ache and childbirth - all nothing in terms of pain compared to a manual placenta removal with only gas and air...

InfiniteJest · 09/09/2014 04:18

Not sure if you are still reading, OP. Just wanted to offer my sympathies about your rough first birth. I think the real issue here is your husband's insensitivity to the horrifically painful experience he saw you go through, and the knowledge that you must be petrified about having to give birth again in a couple of months. Yes, he's in pain, and that's not fun, but to compare it to an experience that he'll never have to go through, and that he knew traumatised you, is not nice.

I hope you have a much more positive experience this time around.

TheMaddHugger · 09/09/2014 05:03

the pain is not comparable.

I had a horrific first birth. (second was fine)

at the moment I have a shattered top molar. The pain is excruciating.

I feel for your partner

thatniceperson · 09/09/2014 06:18

As a positive from this thread you should think; many people think toothache is worse than labour, you've done both and cope with toothache, maybe this labour will be less painful than (excessively bad) toothache!

I had a tooth decide to flare up while I was 7 months pregnant, it needed to be extracted so I just had to wait until I had my baby. Getting a tooth out is possibly the worst reason for wanting to have a baby, I had visions, dreams even, of me walking into the dental surgery the day after giving birth to have it pulled!
I was in searing agonising pain for the last weeks of my pregnancy and often 'joked' that I couldn't wait to give birth just so I could get some proper pain relief for the tooth ache.

While I was in labour high on gas and air I thought back to my little joke. what a fool I was, child birth is worse!
I am well experienced in dental horrors so I don't say that lightly!
Your dp should be thankful he hasn't experienced child birth or serious dental pain....

wonderingsoul · 09/09/2014 06:55

I got to agree with your dh. Iv had two back to back drug free labour's, and I would take that over toothach and or earache

Bulbasaur · 09/09/2014 06:58

Doesn't matter, he doesn't have the pain of child birth to compare it to. It could be worse, it might not be. But he doesn't have that bar to measure against, so he can't claim it.

my2centsis · 09/09/2014 06:59

YAnbu I had a wisdom tooth out this morning, half the bone came away with my tooth, I am in considerable pain but it's nothing on child birth ffs. Nothing will ever ever beat childbirth IMO

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 09/09/2014 07:16

My childbirth did not hurt that much but when I had my braces fitted I could have cut my own head off.

When I was 7 months pg I woke to find my Dp crying ( literally) with pain because he had cramp in his leg . Lol I couldn't stop laughing. They are so dramatic.

poolomoomon · 09/09/2014 07:32

A lot of things are compared to child birth. Kidney stones are supposed to be as painful as childbirth as well, I remember my dad telling me that with a slight giggle when he had kidney stones.

I imagine a lot of things are more painful than childbirth tbf. It's definitely not the worst pain in the world. At least after birth you get a baby to snuggle with and during birth you do have the option to make it completely pain free if you want. Plus you're not expected to carry on working while you're in labour and the pain is over after maximum of two days.

Back to back labour is the worst pain I've felt to date but Quinsy was a very, very close second. Especially the needle straight in my tonsils to drain the puss out.

lougle · 09/09/2014 07:33

It's all a bit 'between a rock and a hard place', isn't it?

Personally I'd rather do neither Grin

DeputyPecksBentBeak · 09/09/2014 08:07

I've had toothache that was worse than my labour with dd (which wasn't at all smooth). But I was pg with ds at the time so the strongest thing I could take was paracetamol. The infection was also above about five teeth.

NinjaLeprechaun · 09/09/2014 08:39

A lot of things are compared to child birth.
When I broke my leg a few years ago, the EMT actually asked me to rate my pain compared to childbirth.
Completely different pain type, but probably roughly equal, incidentally. The drugs with the leg were better though.

drudgetrudy · 09/09/2014 09:01

Very different type of pain but I had severe toothache over an Easter weekend when I was pregnant and it was as painful as childbirth.

TheVeryThing · 09/09/2014 09:21

I'm sorry you've had such a hard time on here, op. I can't believe the sad faces for your dh, who clearly does not have dry socket and can't be experiencing the agonies others have described it he can speak at length, go to work and eat steak!
Incidentally, I had dry socket following an extraction many years ago and don't remember it being that painful, although I am quite prepared to believe that other people's experiences of dry socket and numerous other ailments were as bad as they have described.
However, I realise that this thread is not about me, but about your dh who is so caught up in self pity that he is actually belittling your awful experience of childbirth, which can be traumatic in many ways, not just in terms of pain.
I'm not aware of anyone who has needed counselling or suffered from PTSD after a toothache, no matter how painful.
You have my sympathies, op. Perhaps it might be a good idea to talk through your first birth with a sympathetic midwife and have some plans for making this one less traumatic for you.

Mrsmorton · 09/09/2014 18:45

pretty confident your DH doesn't have dry socket. I see it regularly in my ooh clinic, as well as toothache (frank abscesses are quite rare but are the MN default dental diagnosis). Ignore him, he's being a tit.

To answer two previous posts, dentists can't prescribe analgesia that is any stronger than what you can get from a pharmacist.

Don't leave teeth that need treatment. Why would you do that? It will be harder, more painful and more expensive to fix the longer you leave it.

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