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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DH's tooth pain is not the same as childbirth?

116 replies

LizLimone · 08/09/2014 18:33

He chipped a filling about 6 weeks ago and has been in and out to the dentist ever since. Got two crowns put in, then had a wisdom tooth removed (fully descended, not impacted) that apparently had a cyst attached. He is now on antibiotics to manage any possible infection arising. Since that operation he has been obsessing that he has a dry socket and spends ages every morning standing in front of the mirror examining thre back of his mouth while I wrangle DS into his clothes and get him breakfast and out the door.

We had an appointment we both needed to attend this morning and halfway through he springs it on me that he has a dental appointment to go to because his teeth are still hurting. On the way to his car he says to me 'it might be a dry socket. The pain is supposed to be as bad as childbirth' said with a long-suffering look on his face.

FFS Hmm

I have had my share of dental work over the years, impacted wisdom teeth requiring surgery under GA, abscesses etc. IT IS NOTHING LIKE CHILDBIRTH!!!! At all.

I just rolled my eyes, snorted with laughter and told him to get over himself. WIBU? I literally never want to hear another word about his effing teeth ever again.

And I am 7 months pregnant ATM and I never complain about it! If he had to be pregnant, it would be the end of the world I'm sure... childbirth, my foot...

OP posts:
waithorse · 08/09/2014 20:33

I've given birth 3 time's and I've had toothache that was far worse than any of my labours.

rallytog1 · 08/09/2014 20:34

I'm with you Caff. I've had deep fillings done and moles removed with no anaesthetic or pain relief, and hardly been bothered by the pain, but oh my goodness, labour was something else. I'd have happily topped myself to get out of that pain.

Rosebug258 · 08/09/2014 20:38

I'd rather be in labour than ever have tooth abcess again....at least I knew labour pains would stop, tooth ache went on for weeks and weeks!

SevenZarkSeven · 08/09/2014 20:42

Another one who wanted to die while in labour.

I didn't realise it was so common, I thought it would be pretty extreme.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 08/09/2014 20:47

But don't women forget the pain of childbirth - if this is the case I don't think anyone can give an accurate assessment makes mental note to look after teeth

ReallyTired · 08/09/2014 20:47

Pain is subjective. The level of pain women experience in childbirth varies considerably. I imagine the pain of a fourth degree tear with pain relief must be torture.

I found tooth ache worst than childbirth. At least childbirth you get relief between contractions. Now after pains and imitating breast feed give toothache competition.

My worst pAin was breaking my thumb. It still hurts 18 months later.

ShelaghTurner · 08/09/2014 20:47

2 vaginal births, big babies, no epidural. Tooth pain wins. It's a bastard. I'd go through labour any day rather than that.

Mandatorymongoose · 08/09/2014 21:01

Hmmmm I've had dry socket. It was truly horrifying pain, awful and constant and since I was pregnant my pain relief options were limited. It lasted several days.

I've had 2 babies but I had much better pain relief and my longest labour was around 36 hours. It hurt but at least it hurt with purpose and didn't last as long.

If I had to pick one or the other to go through again it would be childbirth but only because I'd get a lovely baby rather than a nasty hole in my gum.

That aside OP I sympathise, whining drives me mad too.

Original poster
LizLimone · 08/09/2014 21:13

Well, it's clearly not dry socket because DH went back to work after his dental appointment and has said he'll be working late to make up for having to go in late this morning due to our other appointment. He worked late last night too (from home) so was clearly not in that much pain.

All I know is that with my abscesses and post-surgery pain and nerve damage from the wisdom teeth operation, I was off work for a week and in terrible pain for a while after that. Postpartum I was in a bad way too, there wasn't an inch of me that felt intact and that was with strong painkillers, anti-inflammatories etc.

So in my view he is full of shite and I'm actually quite mad at him. Was hoping to get some light relief and humor on here to laugh it off but instead find myself wading through the boasts of the many MN-ers who have suddenly come out of the woodwork to declare that they found the birth of their DC to be a walk in the park.

Hurray, just what I needed to feel even shittier about the horrible labour I had with DS...! But hey ho, that's the vagaries of AIBU for you I suppose...

OP posts:
DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 08/09/2014 21:14

For me toothache is worse than childbirth, hands down. absolutely hate it. Would have triplets, breech and simultaneously if someone could guarantee me I would never have toothache again, ever.

Hope your DH feels better soon.

Aherdofmims · 08/09/2014 21:17

Well the second time round it realised I'd wiped memory of first time!

I'm sure I read that this is a thing...

frumpet · 08/09/2014 21:25

Tooth abscess i had , ten times worse than all the childbirths i have been through ( all of which have been back to back ) , hideous hateful never ending torment until the antibiotics kicked in and they pulled the bastard out .

DreamerOfStars · 08/09/2014 21:28

YABU

I've given birth. It was nothing compared to toothache or earache.

The worst pain I've ever experienced was tooth pain after having wisdom teeth out.

Your poor dh Sad

CarpetBagger · 08/09/2014 21:32

oh my lord, I have never heard of dry socket and pray I never get to know it intimatly

Mandatorymongoose · 08/09/2014 21:33

If it makes you feel better my 2nd childbirth was incredibly traumatic and left me with a huge scar and ongoing bladder / prolapse issues. It's just that pain wise it wasn't as bad as the bloody dry socket.

Child birth is traumatic in more ways than just pain in a way other pain will never be. I never feared for anyone's life when I had dry socket.

But the childbirth at least had an upside.

Sorry, you've been upset by this Thanks .

SevenZarkSeven · 08/09/2014 21:34

OP I'm sorry that you have had this response. I don't really understand it, especially why people seem to be actually putting the boot in now. Still, MN is like that sometimes and it's hard to tell which threads are going to go weird like this.

Chin up maybe hide the thread and go and find a light-hearted one to read instead. Go through classics or something Smile

CorporateRockWhore · 08/09/2014 21:35

OP I feel your pain.

DH has a cold, with it's starring attraction being a really runny nose. According to him it's so runny that 'waterboarding must be just like this.'

I've had it four days and managed not to whine about it feeling like literally being tortured.

Waterboarding, I ask you! Hmm Grin

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 08/09/2014 21:35

My teeth are aching just reading this thread! I think if you had to compare a minute of labour pains or giving birth (especially if it was the bit where the head comes out) to a minute of tooth pain then childbirth would be a stronger pain. But the whole experience of giving birth is so exhilarating (because your having a baby) that the pain is worthwhile. A few days of dry socket is just miserable and grinds you down. The moment they pack your wound with oil of cloves dressing and the pain strops is almost as good as the bit when they put the baby on your chest :)

If I had to choose between spending tomorrow giving birth or having my wisdom tooth removed followed by dry socket I'd deffo go for giving birth because it's a positive experience overall. But I think you do have a point that the pain per se is probably stronger than anything your DH is going through.

SevenZarkSeven · 08/09/2014 21:38

If it makes you feel any better I have had all 4 wisdom teeth out, major surgery x 4 on limbs, broken a bone, recurring ear infections as a child with perforated eardrums the whole time, adenoids out, I've dislocated joints and have had the most hideous tonsilitis where painkillers stopped working and I couldn't talk for 3 days and swallowing was so bad I was trying not to and crying when I had to....

And none of that was a patch on childbirth where I quite literally wanted to die!

So maybe that will help counteract some of the other posts.

Doesn't sound to me like your DH is suffering much anyway.

Original poster
LizLimone · 08/09/2014 21:48

Yes, think I will hide the thread Seven and forget about it. People are just being idiots now, telling me how bad their wisdom teeth issues were when I have actually had impacted wisdom teeth surgery myself and said so on this thread. Hmm

My DH's wisdom tooth wasn't even impacted and didn't require surgery for gods sake. And he's at work! Doing fine!

If he was in real pain then I'd be sympathetic but he clearly is doing alright and will no doubt be back to eating steak tomorrow...

OP posts:
SevenZarkSeven · 08/09/2014 21:51

Definitely a plan Smile these things never turn around once they've headed down a certain path.

Hide it, have something nice, read something in classics or elsewhere.

If you are having a lot of concern over the birth, then people on the pregnancy / birth boards (whatever they are called) will be very very supportive I'm sure Smile

CromerSutra · 08/09/2014 22:05

My god, my childbirth experience was grim but it is roughly equalled to my week long misery with 2 dental abscesses in the space of 2 months. It was absolute agony and on the second occasion I ended up in hospital on IV anti bionics for 4 days. I live in dread of ever getting another one.

CromerSutra · 08/09/2014 22:07

Sorry have only read part of the ft! Not intending to stick the boot in. Just feel extremely sensitive about dental issues!

Namechangedforthisohyesidid · 08/09/2014 23:48

had dry socket and a very quick birth with no pain relief.

Dry socket even with painkillers was horrendous but whilst I was waiting for the dentist to open I was lying down crying my eyes out trying to distract myself by watching television. Very very painful.

Childbirth however, I was begging someone to knock me out and would have welcomed dry socket as a tiny distraction but honestly don't think I would have noticed even if I had had it in every hole in my mouth

In fact I think you could have knocked all my teeth out as a welcome distraction.

I would have cut my own legs off if it would have stopped the pain of childbirth.

Both were a while ago now but the pain of dry socket whilst horrific is not a path on childbirth. No way

RandomMess · 09/09/2014 00:04

OP after 3 incredibly painful, not coping labours my 4th was a breeze Shock don't give up home that this time could be much better. I honestly think the only difference was that 4th time around I just accepted it was going to be sh*t and was far more concerned about having another baby that screamed for the first 6 months solid!!!!

Please ask your midwife about talking through your first experience so your 2nd one can be more positive and less painful. I managed to deliver the first 3 with an epidural and no assistance . HTH x

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