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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DH's tooth pain is not the same as childbirth?

116 replies

LizLimone · 08/09/2014 18:33

He chipped a filling about 6 weeks ago and has been in and out to the dentist ever since. Got two crowns put in, then had a wisdom tooth removed (fully descended, not impacted) that apparently had a cyst attached. He is now on antibiotics to manage any possible infection arising. Since that operation he has been obsessing that he has a dry socket and spends ages every morning standing in front of the mirror examining thre back of his mouth while I wrangle DS into his clothes and get him breakfast and out the door.

We had an appointment we both needed to attend this morning and halfway through he springs it on me that he has a dental appointment to go to because his teeth are still hurting. On the way to his car he says to me 'it might be a dry socket. The pain is supposed to be as bad as childbirth' said with a long-suffering look on his face.

FFS Hmm

I have had my share of dental work over the years, impacted wisdom teeth requiring surgery under GA, abscesses etc. IT IS NOTHING LIKE CHILDBIRTH!!!! At all.

I just rolled my eyes, snorted with laughter and told him to get over himself. WIBU? I literally never want to hear another word about his effing teeth ever again.

And I am 7 months pregnant ATM and I never complain about it! If he had to be pregnant, it would be the end of the world I'm sure... childbirth, my foot...

OP posts:
deakymom · 08/09/2014 19:18

ive had dry socket and three kids i prefer dry socket its less painful and once they put the gross stinky gel in pain free

ive had toothache for several years and a long term infection that wont be cured and my roots need to be removed im not whining about it

Rumandcokeplease · 08/09/2014 19:18

I've had two children and I can honestly say that wisdom tooth abscesses are, by far, more painful than childbirth.

ouryve · 08/09/2014 19:19

Childbirth never made me feel like pulling all my teeth out, just to make the pain go away.

deakymom · 08/09/2014 19:21

am i the only one who had the stinky gel stuff for my dry socket? its great strips the lining off your tongue and gives you thrush (and an annoying cough) but as soon as it went in i was fine?

SevenZarkSeven · 08/09/2014 19:25

Poor old OP.

7 months pregnant and told roundly by the collective wisdom of MN that she is being totally unreasonable!

I feel for you OP. He sounds like he's whining to me, from what you've said, so I think YANBU and would be giving plenty of Hmm as well.

Original poster
LizLimone · 08/09/2014 19:25

It did for me ourvye. I wanted someone to just put me to sleep it was so bad. Same with a previous MMC I had. Maybe I am just unlucky with uterine-related pain.

My DH knows how bad my childbirth and MMC were though unlike everyone on here and saw me in really unbearable pain at the time so that is what annoys me. He should know better than to compare childbirth pain to dental pain when talking to me...!

OP posts:
Original poster
LizLimone · 08/09/2014 19:27

Am nearly crying now thinking about going through the pain again in a couple of months time. It is weighing on my mind a lot.

Epidural from the get go this time, I think!

OP posts:
Nandocushion · 08/09/2014 19:28

I've heard that dry socket is heart-stoppingly painful. To be fair, OP, I've got two DC but have never been in labour, and I sometimes get tired of the "nothing is as painful as childbirth" cliché too - every woman's experience is different. But your DH sounds like a tiresome hypochondriac, and steak for supper? FFS. YANBU.

SevenZarkSeven · 08/09/2014 19:29

Liz childbirth is the worst thing that's ever happened to me as well, and I've had stacks of painful things go wrong with me before! It was utterly traumatising.

Once of these things you can't compare as you don't know other people's experiences I guess.

CarpetBagger · 08/09/2014 19:32

I hurt my ankle the other day, of course over the course of 40 years I have sprained and twisted it a plenty

This time was different, it went at 90 degrees, I collapsed onto floor, I nearly passed out and was sick with the intense pain.

I couldn't move off the floor for a good half an hour.

That reminded me what ONE contraction is like Shock

hamptoncourt · 08/09/2014 19:33

I have had two children with vaginal delivery, just gas and air, but the pain after having a wisdom tooth removed was far worse, sorry. I wanted to die.

deakymom · 08/09/2014 19:34

grow your nails and when you're in labour SQUEEEZE!

look if it helps your not being unreasonable he is whining and its annoying i practically booted my husband out to work today he was whining too its aggravating and gets on my tits he doesn't like his job and its my fault he wants another one but cba to actually look for one i refuse to get a full time job so he can be a house husband on the grounds of he is a lazy bastard who will pass the kids off to his mom and xbox and youtube all day and i told him that (after 30 hours of moaning so i was pushed to the limit) he will not cook clean tidy up after himself or the kids he won't even do the school run so my choice is A,do everything myself and allow his mom to look after the baby while im at work and he plays until the family go nuts then i will have to leave my job because he is incapable or B, let him be the main wage earner and listen to the howling about how he hates his job C,leave D,wait till the baby turns 3 and work school hours

if he keeps whining it will be c it really will be C!

Girlwhowearsglasses · 08/09/2014 19:34

3 week before giving birth to the DTs I had a sinus infection - so no drugs allowed (had paracetamol). It really was THE worst pain ever, much worse than the birth three weeks later, but not quite as bad as the unauthorised breaking of waters by nasty midwife while in labour with DS1z

mausmaus · 08/09/2014 19:35

have you told him to take a couple paracetamol and get some rest?

MrsBoldon · 08/09/2014 19:36

I am a fucking enormous Led Zeppelin fan and had a gold-dust ticket to see their reunion which cost me a fortune.

I had dental surgery the week before and developed a dry socket infection. I didn't think anything in the world could make me miss Led Zep but that did because I was in so much pain it actually made me slightly psychotic and I alternated between crying with pain and hallucinating through lack of sleep and begging to be knocked out!.

Sounds like your DP isn't in that situation though so tell him 'Man up Tinkerbell!'.

rallytog1 · 08/09/2014 19:38

An abcess was a breeze to me compared with labour.

mausmaus · 08/09/2014 19:39

and a warm bath?

Dapplegrey · 08/09/2014 19:44

My DH was in agony with an abscess which needless to say started on a Bank Holiday Saturday. He was seen by an emergency dentist who gave him antibiotics but no painkillers - to this day we wonder why not as the dentist must have known that the antibiotics don't work immediately and an abscess is known to be agonising.
I had to go round to our neighbour who was recovering from cancer and she gave me some of her oramorph to give to DH.
I was lucky enough to only be in labour for a couple of hours so I got off lightly.

TheCunkOfPhilomena · 08/09/2014 19:50

Grin at mausmaus.

OP, I've had an infected abscess and it was no where near the pain of childbirth. I actually prayed to die (and I'm an atheist Blush) during labour.

jalopy · 08/09/2014 19:57

I raise you walking-on-lego pain.

Liara · 08/09/2014 20:02

Well, my childbirth was a walk in the park compared to a nasty tooth infection.

But Yanbu because you are pg (so can't be U) and because he sounds like a bit of a PITA with his hypochondria, tbh.

Aherdofmims · 08/09/2014 20:11

Agree with woowoo - upside of childbirth is you don't have to get on with day to day life while doing it.

with toothache or, say, period pains for example you usually do.

on other hand pain of second childbirth was spectacularly bad...

Aherdofmims · 08/09/2014 20:13

ps codeine painkillers are good for tooth pain and can get them over the counter now...

Aherdofmims · 08/09/2014 20:17

liz -i think you are unlucky you cn remember it so clearly -your mind is supposed to wipe it out so you choose to do it again

Caff2 · 08/09/2014 20:31

I can't believe this thread. Why am I different to everyone else? I have broken numerous bones, been in a near fatal road traffic accident, and had teeth taken out/ also a tooth abscess, and child birth is still the worst pain I have ever, ever felt.