To find it unbearably irritating that my DH´s mother still insists on buying him underpants at every opportunity??

[savebraveted]

This drives me mad on so many levels: He is a 41 year old man, she needs to let go! I think it´s a very intimate thing - and at the very least I should be buying them or preferably, he should be buying them himself. She really does not like to let any of her children spread their wings and I feel like this is symbolic - "he is still a child, my child, and I will still mother him and poke my nose into his intimate business…! Literally every birthday, christmas, special occasion.

AARRRRGGHHH

MIL buys DH underpants and me knickers as sticking fillers
Not entirely certain what Freud would say about that...
The pants on their own don't sound like a big deal, however with everything else maybe he needs to put his foot down more.

The weirdest thing about this thread is that women - whether wives/partners or mothers - are buying adult men underpants! I have been with my now DH for almost 23 years, and never has it ever crossed my mind to buy him a single item of clothing. He is an able-bodied adult, without a terrible phobia of clothes shops, or anything that prevents him from buying his own wardrobe. I'm not sure I could be married to someone incapable of purchasing his own boxer shorts.

I think it is bizarre - I can't imagine my mum ever buying any of her grown children underwear ... even my MIL who has a strange obsession with knickers confines herself to buying them for the children rather than dh (although it would not surprise me at all if she still buys them for BIL - perhaps she thinks I took on the responsibility of pant-purchasing* on marriage). She does get us both a multipack of socks every Christmas though (& a bottle of vodka!).

I buy socks, underpants jamas etc for my son (44) my stepsons (45&42) and my son in law (40) every Christmas and in between if I see some I think they'd like. I also fill Christmas stockings for them and their wives (the women get knickers and socks or tights) . Am I creepy and refusing to let go? I hope not :)

my MIL gives me the strangest things ever though - last time I saw her she gave me half a packet of 6 month out of date flour, a bag of used gift tags and a cerise pink t-shirt that her sister didn't like any more!

Oh bloody hell I hate buying presents so often get things like socks and pants.

My grown up sons revive both as sticking fillers and to be honest if my dil found that wierd it controlling I would think she was the one with the problem really. Men are a pain in the arse to buy for at the best of times.

Also why is it wierd to phone up your grown up kids for a chat? What's that about?

I also find it wierd that people specifically wouldn't buy pants for their dh as if it's done kind of test!

If I see a pack of pants and dh needs some I buy them. Of course he is capable of buying his own but what's the big deal in buying for him. Who the fuck cares about stuff like that.

I'm sooooooo with TalcumPowder! I wouldn't know if dh (or any of my teenage children) needed pants. If I'm sorting washing I look at the underwear long enough to determine whose it is, but I don't inspect them. I would assume that if they needed pants, they'd buy them. Like I would.

MIL never bought boxers as he is very fussy with his and his cost too much, but she always got him socks.

The way he goes through them that was very helpful.

His nan buys him coffee every week. She also wants to give him pocket money but he nixed that one!

Talcumpowder, I do most of the clothes shopping so if I am buying clothes for the children it just makes sense to pick my husband up some socks and boxers. Of course he is capable and was buying his own boxer shorts for 10 years before he met me, but if I am shopping and he needs some why not pick them up? He does the same for me if he is ever shopping for kids clothes and I need something.

We help each other out. We are both more than capable of buying our own clothes and often do.

My ex mil was awesome, every Christmas we would get a stocking each with socks,pants, deodorant, shampoo, conditioner etc in and then a chocolate orange. Sorted out our supplies for January - I loved it!

I know if he needs new underwear because if I am shopping I will ask him if he wants anything.

Same for me. If he goes clothes shopping he will ask me. That's how we know.

I don't go looking through his wardrobe or inspecting his clothes. We talk.

Constantly amazed at the slant some people put on the most mundane of actions. I guess there's always a back story though.

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine I think the issue isn't that you buy the pants but that you know he needs pants!

I do pretty much all the laundry but I would no more know that dh needed pants than he would that I needed knickers. If he knew he needed something & asked me to get it for him I wouldn't have a problem (he does the same for me) ... but I'm not going to keep and eye on his pant levels & pop out to get some if he's running low ... it's just too mothering for me.

Now inspecting anyone's underwear that would be wierd.

Yep Thebody.

It's pathetic really. Buy underwear for your husband and you must have a man child who can't buy his own clothes or you are obsessive who checks your husbands clothes

Isn't it just possible that people talk and it comes up in conversation that someone needs some new underwear and when someone is shopping they just happen to pick them up to do their partner a favour? I see no reason for both of us to go into the city when it is much easier for one of us to pick them up if we are already in there.

I would hate to be in a marriage where doing little helpful things for the other is frowned upon.

My MIL seems to have access to really nice, designer-type pants at cut-down prices (I don't ask how) and quite often buys them for DH. Also t-shirts.
She's also given me some rather lovely underwear, but I only wear very plain cotton stuff so they are wasted on me.
I don't think it's weird, actually. She's also given me various bits and pieces which she's seen that thought I'd like (she's usually right).
Sadly she goes completely overboard with ds and ends up buying him masses of toys and junk that he doesn't need, but when she gets him clothes they are usually fab.
I think it's quite nice.

I don't see the problem. Your MIL doesn't stop caring about her son just because he's married. I don't understand women who get all territorial over their partners. It's not a competition.

MrsZiegler I don't really. He tells me he needs pants, Equally I tell him to pick me up some from tesco if he's doing the shop too.

We just talk. No big deal and no inspecting or mothering just life I guess

so yes u2 it's not the fact either of us are incapable of buying underwater it's just all part of deal.ight even get him a razor too if he needs one.

Hamish yes don't get the territorial thing either. Grateful for any presents really and found my mil mothering dh and me rather nice.

Well, I can take this to a new level of detatchment: I do all the laundry, and do notice the state of everyone's underwear (how can you NOT notice when elastic is showing through or becoming very slack, or holes are appearing?) but I still don't buy underwear for dh because I reckon, if I can see the state his underwear is in, then so can he and if he isn't bothered by what he sees enough to do something about it, then why should I be?

Personally, I am on the side of those who can see no problem with the mil buying pants for her son. I would see it as one less thing for me to bother about. OTOH, it would perhaps be more of an issue if mil was buying pants of a style I, or dh, did not like. I thought that was what this thread was going to be about: a mil buying tasteless nylon y-fronts. As long as the pants are a nice style, I would look upon it as a blessing.

I put up with mil buying dh t-shirts. It is not so bad now dh is middle aged and mil has twigged he looks good in blue, but when he was in his 20s and everything mil bought was grey or yellow or brown, and suitable for a much older man, it was a hard test of my endurance.

Lol at mrsziegler's Mil's gift list. Lol at this thread in general.

If both halves of a couple were in the habit of picking up underwear for one another, no, of course it wouldn't be at all odd. But, those of you who buy your husbands' and partners' pants, do they also regularly pop into M and S and pick you up a six pack of floral cotton high-leg or a trio of t-shirt bras? Or are you the a Sole Guardian of Undergarments of the household?

I don't mind mil buying my husband boxers for Christmas but what does annoy me is when she asks me of he needs new pants and socks. How should I know? Ask him yourself!!

My mum buys dh under pants from time to time as part of his birthday/Christmas present, as she does for my db. Underpants are a necessity to me, so I am happy for who ever to buy them! However, it seems there is a bigger picture here op, so while I think YABU about the presents of pants, you may well not be that unreasonable with the other things!

talcumpowder I have just ordered dh pants and socks from m and s (20% off until tonight). No, he probably wouldn't pick me up knickers unless I specifically asked him to, but then I would rather pick my own as I know the style/fit I like. Dh wears 1 type of underpants, no other options!

I don't see the problem, nor consider it "intimate".

After all, I am sure that to the woman who changed his nappies for years, she doesn't think of his crotch in the same terms you do

I hate the idea of one day having a DIL that judges how I mother my son - I know he'll be grown up, but it's hard to imagine him still not being my boy