To find it unbearably irritating that my DH´s mother still insists on buying him underpants at every opportunity??

[savebraveted]

This drives me mad on so many levels: He is a 41 year old man, she needs to let go! I think it´s a very intimate thing - and at the very least I should be buying them or preferably, he should be buying them himself. She really does not like to let any of her children spread their wings and I feel like this is symbolic - "he is still a child, my child, and I will still mother him and poke my nose into his intimate business…! Literally every birthday, christmas, special occasion.

AARRRRGGHHH

My DH gets socks and pants off his mom every Christmas

I find it quite funny

It's probably more common than you think

You would find it very odd then that my own Mother buys my DH pants for his Birthdays and Christmases . Among other gifts, she doesn't just get him pants.

My DP got a pack of boxers from his gran at Christmas, which we both found hilariously weird.

Maybe she asks him what he wants and he can't think of anything so says pants because you wont buy them for him

Oh bless! I don't think I could find it in me to find this anything but sweet and touching.

Oh, my MIL buys DH pants too. I never considered it controlling or weird; I thought it was the sort of boring present that basically nobody apart from your mother would ever want to buy you!

I certainly don't want to buy DH pants - I buy him romantic gifts or less utilitarian stuff. My mum has been known to buy both DH and I the type of pants we like when she sees them while shopping too.

So I guess it's entirely possible that neither your MIL or DH imbue the pants-buying with the same level of importance you do. I would just let it go and concentrate on buying the stuff your DH loves.

I think this is quite common - she's helping you and him.

She doesn't want to waste money buying something he doesn't want, he probably hasn't given her any ideas, by buying him something he needs, she's freeing your money to be spent on something you/he really want.

My mum does it loads - buys boring but necessary things as presents rather than giving something that will end up at the back of a cupboard until it's donated as a raffle prize. Her gift is the cash it's saved us on buying boring necessary things.

Tell her he prefers thongs

I rely on mil keeping dh in pants.
He'd never bother if he had to buy his own.
My dm buys them for him too.

I know I probably sound unreasonable! It´s is definitely representative of a deeper issue - she is Spanish and has absolutely no sense of personal space, boundaries etc. Not very happy that her 41 year old son
doesn´t live at home any more. Her 46 year old daughter is still at home as my MIL wants her to stay and wait until she is old to look after her. SIL sleeps in a child´s bunk bed and has no life, partner etc. Called up the other night at 11pm, saying "I know you go to bed early, so I just like to call my son to keep him company!!" Grrr - underpants are the tip of the iceberg haha.

This is day one territory at the Freudian School for Armchair Shrinks.

She's competing with you over ownership of his crotch.

I do love the concept that parents are buying the boring stuff to free up our money for more interesting/romantic gifts - lovely parents out there! Def not the case in my situation though - MIL horrendously possessive.

Squoosh fell off my chair laughing!

yup MIL pants here too

I like to think i will buy my sons silly but useful presents when i fricken well want to when they are older

Hmm, not sure about this. I can see what you mean about it being very intimate, but it's also practical. My mom always buys me nice underwear (among other things) at Christmas- not sexy, just nice quality! I think decent quality undies can be a luxury that is neglected if you're prioritising cash elsewhere.

Me and DH have bought his brothers nice boxer shorts at Christmas when we haven't known what to buy them. Nice to get a 3 pack of designer named boxers in a posh tin when you've been putting up with Asda cheapies because all your spare cash goes on the kids. That's our train of thought, anyway!

But her some pants for her Christmas present and another pair when her birthday comes round

Could it be she just doesn't know what else to buy him, and thinks 'well people always need pants, right?'

Every year mil gets dp pants....as he says 'men have no idea where their pants come from and don't care'. I don't see that as weird compared to all the other stuff.

MIL used to always buy DH socks, he literally could go for months without washing any if need be It never bothered me, it's cute as regardless of him being married he's still her son and always will be.

You're seeing them as a symbol of her maternal obsession, whereas I think it's actually quite common.

My MIL does this for all her sons.. I find it amusing. She does insist on buying them shirts too, which he is not so keen on. Especially when she buys the exact same clothes for his identical twin brother (they are 43 btw!)

i refuse to buy dp clothes on principle, i will not dress him and i am not his mother.
She buys him stuff he likes that he cant get in this country, normally after a request, and this saves on boring shopping trips when we are there so i dont mind, though sometimes that includes pants,

ironic socks seem to be their christmas tradition but i did buy his brothers these as part of their presents, because i couldnt find any good socks

Don't think there is any real harm in this. My MIL did the socks and PJS, but never the unperpants. I get all DHS to make sure he wears ones I like! :)

You could try asking her fro the receipts to take them back, saying they don't fit or something!

I wouldn't mind my mil buying DH socks actually, as he managed to lose one half of every single pair he owns.

She passed away a few years ago though.

I do wonder how many threads I'd start about her, given how difficult and bonkers she was.