To find it unbearably irritating that my DH´s mother still insists on buying him underpants at every opportunity??

[savebraveted]

This drives me mad on so many levels: He is a 41 year old man, she needs to let go! I think it´s a very intimate thing - and at the very least I should be buying them or preferably, he should be buying them himself. She really does not like to let any of her children spread their wings and I feel like this is symbolic - "he is still a child, my child, and I will still mother him and poke my nose into his intimate business…! Literally every birthday, christmas, special occasion.

AARRRRGGHHH

They're Christmas staples for Dh from both my mum and mil. He didn't seem to get any last yr for some reason and now his undies drawer is looking pretty shabby and he's rather miffed I think.

I don't really see pants as a big deal just a welcome necessity. I hope he gets some this yr. I have no strong feeling about pants

I think, when talking purely in stereotypes, as you've mentioned Freud, the Daddy's Girl dynamic involves gifts rather more expensive than an M&S multiply pack of knickers.

As I suggested in my initial post, I'd have a great many mil threads going, if she was not deceased. Though to be honest I could write a few now, even so.

Is anyone going to please humour me? i am mid writing a report and will be working through the night, and this thread is seriously cracking me up

She obsessively buys him garments that cover his genitals and she likes to schedule late night phone calls when she knows your in bed? I having a feeling I know what my colleagues at Freudian School will say.

Well your MIL sounds like she could give norma bates (psychos mother) a run for her money but as for the pants I'd just say he's stopped wearing them now as you're investigating naturism as a couple and while you're at it you'd appreciate it if she didn't call round unannounced as you're not sure what kind of clothed state you'll be in

it´s a very intimate thing

Well, yes, but giving birth to someone is about as intimate as it gets.

Only joking, OP. I don't buy my boys pants any more - not through some fear of upsetting my daughters in law - more just because it's a boring thing to buy. It does sound as though your mil has slight over-mothering tendencies, to put it kindly. Does your dh mind, or is he enjoying being babied? That would annoy me.

Tell her he prefers thongs. If that doesn't put an end to it .....

does she just buy them for him at christmas/birthday or all the time? If the latter, that's quite weird imo.

I would say to her, can you get him a different style because the ones you get him make his nads hang out and I find this unbelievable sexy and have to shag his brains out every time I see him rearrange his ball bag. Frankly neither of us is getting a thing done, I've had cystitis 5 times and he's slipped a disc.

Also, dear MIL, i feel very left out. Could you buy me some undercrackers too? I like slutty satinny numbers. Whore red and crotchless. Your son favours black PVC butt crack flossers. You choose, MIL.

I would say these things not because they are my personal preferences (honest!) but because I would hope they would shock her into submission.

You have literally made my evening…DH keeps asking me why I am PMSL - if only he knew.

We have this MILpants issue. I think it is infantilising. DP is 36 and to my knowledge has never bought his own pants, or bed linen, or towels. It comes from a kind and thoughtful place but just find it -the result - weird. Surely adult men should be in charge of their own underwear??

My MIL drags DH around town shopping for new school clothes every August. He is a 32 year old teacher. I went with them once. She mommied him, he behaved like a huffy teenager.

Does he wear her choice of pants? I only ask because I once bought my DH a shirt before we were married. He thanked me but with such stiff horror that I got the message - do not choose my fucking clothes and I won't choose yours.

He wears these btw

The model is a bit camp but the underwear looks great and is apparently supremely comfortable. He won't wear boxer shorts. No support.

Buying pants is "an intimate thing"? And you should be doing it?????!

Those pants aren't cheap!

"It does feel v intimate as well - like she knows his crotch better than you do. "

I have now officially heard everything.

You do realise that your dp's crotch emerged from this woman's vagina, don't you?????

BTW I'm partial to the Spalla Larga ribbed vest in my link. I think it means 'broad shoulders'.

For pants he favours the Milord Ribbed Mini Brief. His unmentionables aren't my concern but something called Milord, and ribbed - oh my gawd.

Sounds like his mum would like to re-live the day his crotch emerged from her vagina.

I JEST.

Unless their crotchless then i don't see the problem with her buying him pants. My mum has bought my DH boxers before for christmas, maybe i should be worried that my Mum wants to be 'intimate' with DH ? LOL

MY MIL has also bought me pants, nice M&S ones.

But if it's part of a bigger issue then I can see why it would annoy you.

MIL bought DH some string-backed driving gloves on offer in the Telegraph once. Oh god, the pouting. TBF they were fucking awful and he didn't complain to her.

She always gets me sheepskin moccasins for Christmas from a sheep farm near her. I accept them with joy.

What can I say? She's a nice woman who spoiled her son. We never mention it but sometimes we raise our eyebrows at his preciousness.

YANBU it is as weird as all get out.

For years and years men have been bought pants (and socks) for gifts. People wanted to buy something that would be useful and used. If you couldn't think of anything else, pants and socks fitted the bill.

My father was bought pants and socks as gifts from his mother and mother in law until they died. I don't suppose for one minute they thought it was intimate, just something practical that they would use.

Men are notorious for not buying clothes and undergarments. Unless DH goes commando, I personally can't see the issue.

Men are also bought pointless toiletries. I have an ancient tube of talc my late dad was bought one Xmas - he gave it to me because he had no use for it and I had blisters.

He died shortly afterwards and I keep it to this day as a tribute though I doubt he would consider Jovan's Pagan Man much of a tribute to him. I didn't put it on my blisters because I thought the scent might set them off.

DH wears unscented deodorant but despises any form of aftershave or 'male fragrance'.

After coming of age in the era of Kouros and Paco Rabanne I like that.

Late night telephone calls sound worrying. However buying pants and socks for men - I agree they never remember to buy themselves, so I think it is fairly common. Socks could be anyone even friends couldn't it? At least you know its not wasted money