To have sent them packing?

[Krytes42]

The situation:
An older lady and a teenage girl, wielding pamphlets, knock on our door.
Lady: Hi, we're members of_ church, which has just opened up in the neighbourhood.
Me: Oh, we're not religious.
Lady: Well, then, you're just the people we want to see! Have you considered...
Me: We're not religious and we don't want to become religious.
Lady: Oh, well, religion isn't everything. You could just join our...
Me: We don't want to become members of a church.
Lady: Well, will you just read this pamphlet?
Me: No thank you.
Lady: Can I just leave one in your mailbox?
Me: No thank you.
They bugger off

My husband heard this exchange and was shocked that I was so abrupt with them. He would have said something polite and tried to avoid refusing them outright, in part because of their sex and ages. Proselytizing religions really get on my nerves, and I feel that I was as polite as necessary to someone who wouldn't take the hint that I wasn't interested.

My exchange would have been broadly similar, and more polite than 95% of their door knocks. If they want polite conversation they shouldn't try to push their beliefs onto uninterested people.

I am sure you will have plenty of people come along shortly and agree with you but I agree with your DH. You sounded abrupt and rude. It doesn't hurt to be polite.

I had a JW at my door a few days ago. An older man. He was absolutely lovely and we had a long interesting chat despite me not wanting to join his church. I took his leaflet out of politeness even though I didn't read it.

Exactly what I would have said.

Problem is, if you are polite, they come back.

You were abrupt, bordering on rude. You weren't being unreasonable though, I just agree with your husband.

Someone put a cartoon leaflet thru my door the other day, basically said I'm full of demons and going to hell.

Go me

Wasn't even JW was some other church

You were polite. You said 'no thank you'. They're disturbing you set home so no requirement to stand there and listen or take pamphlets that go straight in the bin.

I just say no thanks and close the door

When I was young I once heard my Mum say to Jehovah's Witnesses at the door 'if your religion was so good, you wouldn't need to go to people's doors trying to force it on them' and the person said ' Well, Jesus went to people's doors' and my Mum said 'yes, and look what happened to him!'

Get a door sticker! Mine seems to put most of them off and if not I can point at it and at them.

Can't see that you were rude. If that's what your DH thinks then call him to come and speak to these people next time they call.

Whoa, I am much more abrupt than you OP. we get quite a lot of door knockers around here. Most of the time I yell through the door to ask who it is, and if its a salesperson/church pusher I just yell "no thank you" and don't even open the door.

If I accidentally open the door to one, I just say "no thank you" and shut the door straight away. I'm not interested so I'm not going to waste my time or theirs.

Ph calls of a similar nature get the same treatment from me.

They come back again and again if you're polite.

Had this with JW. They turned up at my back door when I was at the kitchen window washing up so blatantly in, didn't feel I could ignore the door. No idea why they were at my back door but that's another thing entirely... Anyway I answered, was very polite with them and accepted their leaflet which I then promptly put in the recycling once they'd left. They returned the next week with another 5 minute chat and another leaflet inviting me to some JW party. I accepted leaflet and thought, "nah, they won't come back a third time surely.." I made the mistake of telling them my first name as well. Turned up the following week again. This time DH was in and he answered, they specifically asked for me by my first name! DH found it all very amusing, I refused to go to the door feeling a bit harassed at this point. DH essentially told them we're Atheist and have no interest and refused the third leaflet. Never saw them again.

Sometimes you have to be blunt and harsh otherwise they think you're actually a potential victim follower.

I don't think you were rude either. You were sufficiently assertive to stop them wasting their time any further.

I thought you were quite restrained

We're not religious, openly so but our local church welcomes all the kids for craft sessions and playgroups, there's very little if any emphasis on the Jesus bit, although the craft might be eastery stuff at Easter and harvesty stuff during the harvest festival time etc

Perhaps she was just going to invite you along to one of those sessions (though I doubt it ;) )

You were more polite than most. I was at my MIL's the other week when a JW showed up. MIL said "NO" very loudly and shut the door in his face!

I think were polite, if your dh has a problem then he can speak to them next time.

Thank you, but No, and please don't all again and CLOSE THE DOOR.

Polite but it gets the message across.

Which of course is what they are trying to do!

Abrupt, bordering on rude? Goodness me. Can't imagine how I would be described, then.

If this had happened in our house it would have gone:

Lady: Hi, we're members of_ church....
Me: No, thank you. [Door shut]

I don't think you were rude.

Get a door sticker! Mine seems to put most of them off and if not I can point at it and at them.

I have one of them. Still get people knocking, often I forget to point out the sign (and to do the face :o) and just say no thanks. Maybe next time I'll just tap the sign with a knowing look.

However once we had a very pushy lady from UNICEF (I think) and I did point out the sign and she looked at it blankly, and then said "ok... Can I ask WHY you have that sign?"

Erm... to avoid conversations such as this, perhaps? [facepalm]

OP - I don't think you were rude really, it's not like you told them to go away or worse, however the way you wrote it looks like you did cut them off mid sentence, so that is quite rude really. But then again to listen to what could have been a long spiel (sp?!) would have wasted their time as well as yours!

Yanbu it is highly annoying. I had charity workers come round my door yesterday. I was polite to them, listened to what they had to say. We were having a nice conversation then the man had the cheek to say "so can we come in for a cup of tea and we will get a direct debit set up?" I said I was busy and he replied with "no problem if you want to just give me your details now I'll process all the paper work"

He was mildly disappointed when I told him I wasn't giving them any of my bank details and it was extremely rude to just assume someone is going to give to charity without asking them.

Cheeky sods.

My late DFIL was a card holding Communist and dyed in the wool atheist.He loved religious callers and would invite them in to 'discuss' their points of view.He always managed to run rings around them ( in the nicest possible way ) over several cups of tea.It was like a sport for him.To hear him explain the benefits of an anarco-syndicalist society to the Mormons/JW's etc was a thing of beauty.We miss him.

The only slight hint of rudeness was the initial engagement, the "oh we're not religious" comment, you should've been straight into the no thank you.

If you get people ignoring signs, please make sure you complain, the charities are very insistent that fundraising does not come under the regulations around door step selling, and use the lack of complaints to justify that stance. It should be illegal for a charity fundraiser to ignore a request to leave and not return (including a sign), just as it is for other traders.

Complain to the council, the charity, and the professional collection body the charity is part of. Probably be a bit keener in complaining about big charity (who will be paying a fundraising company to get direct debit sign ups) rather than a little local charity rattling a tin.