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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have sent them packing?

111 replies

Krytes42 · 07/09/2014 07:41

The situation:
An older lady and a teenage girl, wielding pamphlets, knock on our door.
Lady: Hi, we're members of_ church, which has just opened up in the neighbourhood.
Me: Oh, we're not religious.
Lady: Well, then, you're just the people we want to see! Have you considered...
Me: We're not religious and we don't want to become religious.
Lady: Oh, well, religion isn't everything. You could just join our...
Me: We don't want to become members of a church.
Lady: Well, will you just read this pamphlet?
Me: No thank you.
Lady: Can I just leave one in your mailbox?
Me: No thank you.
They bugger off

My husband heard this exchange and was shocked that I was so abrupt with them. He would have said something polite and tried to avoid refusing them outright, in part because of their sex and ages. Proselytizing religions really get on my nerves, and I feel that I was as polite as necessary to someone who wouldn't take the hint that I wasn't interested.

OP posts:
siilk · 07/09/2014 16:53

When I was growing up in Australia, we lived on a reasonably large bit of acreage, like a small holding. We used get Morman and J W callers every now and then. The Morman guys would buzz the house on the intercom and then, when told not interested, would just disappear. All good and happy.

Now the JW were a little more ummm aggressive in their approach. Initially they started in small groups climbing over the fence to get to front door, totally ignoring the intercom. They were given very short shift by my VERY blunt father. They tried that a couple of times, then moved on to bringing very small children with them. We used to feel sorry for the kids being dragged around in the Australian summer. They were also warned and sent packing. Mind you sometimes it was difficult to get them off the land.
The final straw was when a large group of J W's thought we wouldn't mind them picnicking on our land. Cue calling the cops and my father being very, very blunt!!!! They really didn't seem to understand why we wouldn't support 'God's work' Wink

Mind you due to our proximity to a Catholic shrine (the nuns' were lovely) we found strangers stealing our fruit etc and in our garden a couple of times a year but that is another story!!Shock

littledrummergirl · 07/09/2014 17:28

I had mormans knock on my door many years ago. I had 2dcs under 5 with me when I answered the door and was 7months pregnant.
They said something about god and purity, I told them it was a bit late for that. Never heard from them again although I see them on the estate.

The last cold caller was selling me something. She asked for my name and I told her it was none of her business.
She burst into tears and said" please dont be mean, its my first day".
I thought I was restrained!
Not sure she stayed in that job for long.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 07/09/2014 17:36

Y.N.B.U. I have them knocking at mine, but although I'm not Religious I keep them there for ages because I find it really interesting. If that makes sense.
However I don't think that people should force their beliefs on others.
The world probably wouldn't go round if we all believed in liked disliked the same things would it.

EBearhug · 07/09/2014 17:44

I once had someone call at the door when I was in the middle of writing an essay on the Reformation, and they started with, "It says in the Bible..."

I quite enjoyed arguing back, chapter and verse. They went in the end.

I don't actually mind door-to-door salespeople. Mostly I just say, "I'm sorry, I'm not interested and close the door." But I don't mind talking if I'm not busy. I don't get that many visits, though, so it doesn't seem too intrusive.

Andrewofgg · 07/09/2014 17:46

littledrummergirl It's always their first day. If female they turn on the waterworks; if male they spin you a line about paying their way through college.

No, sonny, you aren't, you are trying to con me, now fuck off and stay fucked off.

rainbowinmyroom · 07/09/2014 17:46

I just say, very firmly, thank you. I don't believe in god and am very happy with that. Blessed be.

They never come back.

diddl · 07/09/2014 17:55

Rude?

You spent longer with them than I would have done!

in fact I would have looked through the spy hole, not known them & not answered!

HermioneWeasley · 07/09/2014 17:57

Rude?! You were far too polite. I'm from the "no thanks" and shut the door brigade. If you wait for them to stop talking you'll be there all day.

Also, I think it's pretty rude to interrupt people to talk about your beliefs - there's no requirement to be polite to such people.

Dolcelatte · 07/09/2014 18:01

I had some of these people come calling a few weeks ago.

I have a large dog, who is as soft as butter, but looks incredibly scary and barks fiercely when anyone comes to the door.

I am ashamed to say that when they handed me the leaflet, I said that the dog didn't like strangers and to be careful, but I would read the leaflet later. Funnily, enough, not only did they beat a hasty retreat, but I haven't seen them since.

littledrummergirl · 07/09/2014 19:01

I never knew that. First time it has happened!
The conversation went "hi Im jane from pushy sales company. Whats your name?"
"none of your business"
"its my first day please dont be mean."
"ok, Im not interested bye"
I closed the door.
Dh is much nicer than me. Hes not allowed to answer the door Smile

LadyRabbit · 07/09/2014 19:13

We get the odd knock on the door from JWs. The last time it was two girls around 12 years old which I was a bit horrified by. What parent would let young girls go Godbothering strange houses in Central London?! Honestly if that isn't brainwashing I don't know what is.

My DM and her brother (both Uber Catholic) have made friends of the Godbotherers over the years. I mean GOOD friends. They love a good old Godly natter. So I always try to be polite and friendly but the sending young kids out to do their bidding has made me a bit short with anyone trying to sell me God these days.

PoirotsMoustache · 07/09/2014 19:24

LadyRabbit, there would have been adults with them, knocking on doors a couple of houses away.

fredfredgeorgejnr · 07/09/2014 19:57

Gruntfuttock "What on earth is even slightly rude about "oh we're not religious"? Why, in your opinion is going "straight into the no thank you" more polite?"

There's nothing inherently rude about "oh we're not religious", but it's agreeing to the conversation, whereas going straight into no thank you, is refusing the conversation, which you actually want.

It is rude to waste their time (although of course they've already been rude to you) by pretending to have a conversation with them rather than explicitly ending it when you have no interest.

SarniaCherie · 07/09/2014 19:57

I once answered the door with newborn DD clinging onto my nipple quite rightly reluctant to finish feeding. The 2 JW's (men in their 50's) couldn't get away fast enough Grin. That was a couple of years ago and they must have warned the rest as I've had no knocks on my door since.

Jux · 07/09/2014 19:57

My dad was an extremely well educated, erudite man, but he did like bating religious representatives who came knocking on our door. He could keep a pair of JWs at the door for hours talking about the exact translation of a particular word - helped by his linguistic knowledge (fluent in 7+ modern languages, and more than 4 ancient ones, and those are the ones that I know of).

My mother, as a very devout Catholic, would remonstrate with him. On the other hand, she thought that if you will go about knocking on strangers' doors imposing your religious beliefs on them, then you deserve what you get.

I just say no thank you, and shut the door. Though once, as a teen, my friend and I invited a pair in and gave them tea, after which they made us pray with them. We decided, though it had passed an hour or so for us on a boring afternoon, not to do it again.

Alisvolatpropiis · 07/09/2014 20:04

I tend to just say "no thank you".

Or indeed if I'm asked if my mum or dad are at home, I'll say no and shut the door.

My mum and dad?! I'm almost 26 and it's my bloody house!

SquirrelWearingATrilby · 07/09/2014 21:06

I have been known to say "Fuck off" and slam the door.

This would have been after the washing machine was determined to flood the kitchen, the cat was puking, DC were screaming and I had just had a quote for the car repair.

Now I usually say, "no thanks" and close the door.

TheBloodManCometh · 07/09/2014 22:55

Grin at "Godbothering"
That's what I'm going to call it from now on!

SugarSkully · 07/09/2014 23:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Krytes42 · 08/09/2014 05:17

Wow... reading through some of your stories is simultaneously funny and a little horrifying. I feel like I got off lightly now!

OP posts:
Hurr1cane · 08/09/2014 05:53

Oh goodness, I was stopped in the street once by some religious callers. I don't think they were JW.

They stood in front of my car door so I had to engage them.

Me: "sorry I am Buddhist"
Them: "that's brilliant, the teachings are all the same anyway"
Me: "they're not really though"
Them: "it's just about being a good person isn't it? You should come to this"
Me: "we really can't I'm sorry"
Them: "it's ok it's at a time when everyone can come even if they work"
Me:"we can't"
Them: "why?"
Me: "right, my little boy is disabled and doesn't like crowded places, we really Can't, I need to get in my car now"

Now here comes the corker, are you ready?

it's ok, we let the handicapped come

Wtf? How nice of them!

Andrewofgg · 08/09/2014 09:03

Hurr1cane Straight from the shot through foot department!

CoolCat2014 · 08/09/2014 09:26

I'm Christian, and I usually say "sorry I'm not interested" and close the door. I'm usually pretty tempted to debate with them, and did in the past when I wasn't Christian!

I don't like door knockers for any reason. I had some young lad trying to sell me a garage door last week. There is nothing wrong with the current one Hmm. Week before I had some young artist lad from an Eastern European country trying to sell me his paintings. I didn't quite know what to do with that one, but heavily pregnant and on my own I felt pretty vulnerable!

Peppa87 · 08/09/2014 11:18

YANBU!

It is so bloody annoying when people turn up at your home trying to force things on you that you don't need or want, whether it be religion, charity, insurance, TV/broadband etc etc etc. It really pisses me off, if I think ahead before opening the door I peep through the blinds and ignore it if it looks like one of these annoying people.

I had one turn up a few weeks back, I have a porch door then my front door, when I opened the porch she marched right through into my hallway and launched into a speech about spreading gods name. The fact she just invited herself in was enough to make me send her packing, cheeky cow!

I have had others turn up wanting bank details for direct debits for set amounts of money every month for their charity. I give money when I am financially able to do so, sponsor people when doing things for charity, and give bits of change regularly in those charity buckets, but somebody asking for bank details just annoys me.

It is all about their attitude, and the way they put their case forward. Most I have had turn up are just pushy and annoying!

Shonajay · 08/09/2014 12:02

Get a sticker for your door from eBay NO COLD CALLERS etc. I haven't had ONE since I put mine up. It always used to happen as I was showering and they'd start talking AT me while I'm wearing a towel and trying to get the dogs to stay in!