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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have sent them packing?

111 replies

Krytes42 · 07/09/2014 07:41

The situation:
An older lady and a teenage girl, wielding pamphlets, knock on our door.
Lady: Hi, we're members of_ church, which has just opened up in the neighbourhood.
Me: Oh, we're not religious.
Lady: Well, then, you're just the people we want to see! Have you considered...
Me: We're not religious and we don't want to become religious.
Lady: Oh, well, religion isn't everything. You could just join our...
Me: We don't want to become members of a church.
Lady: Well, will you just read this pamphlet?
Me: No thank you.
Lady: Can I just leave one in your mailbox?
Me: No thank you.
They bugger off

My husband heard this exchange and was shocked that I was so abrupt with them. He would have said something polite and tried to avoid refusing them outright, in part because of their sex and ages. Proselytizing religions really get on my nerves, and I feel that I was as polite as necessary to someone who wouldn't take the hint that I wasn't interested.

OP posts:

pictish · 07/09/2014 10:52

You're nicer than me!
I say "I'm sorry, we're not religious." and close the door!

HamishBamish · 07/09/2014 10:53

I agree, if you give them any indication at all that they have a chance (even by being polite) they won't ever leave you alone.

I had to get rid of some JW's a while back. They had come to my Dad's door and he had obviously tried to be polite. It got to the stage where he was afraid to open his front door. I waited until they called and gave them a earful, telling them that if they continued to harass my father in his home I would call the police. Never saw them again!

Bunbaker · 07/09/2014 10:55

The husband of a friend of mine is extremely intellectual, has a theology degree and is a committed Christian. Whenever they get JW knocking on the door he invites them in. Several hours later they leave, wishing they had never been invited in

MidniteScribbler · 07/09/2014 10:59

Me: Oh, we're not religious.

That should have been the end of the conversation.

ZebraLovesKnitting · 07/09/2014 11:00

What annoys me even more than being preached at from my front door is some of the other places they go.

I work in a large hospital, and some Jehovah's Witness' often set up a stand just outside the main entrance - there's an area of public pavement between the bus stops and the main entrance so you're forced to walk in between them as they're either side of the paving. There's big boards with things like "Why do bad things happen to good people?" and they all stand there looking smart with handfuls of leaflets. I just think it's very, very inappropriate. Outside a train station, or just on the street, is one thing, but outside a large hospital, with a very busy A&E department, is quite another. Talk about preying on vulnerable people.

OwlCapone · 07/09/2014 11:03

I was as polite as necessary to someone who wouldn't take the hint that I wasn't interested.

Well, stop faffing about with "hints" and just say "No thank you, we really aren't interested" right from the start and shut the door.

fuzzpig · 07/09/2014 12:04

Her church believes that people have to make their own choice whether or not to come to church, and all a Christian should do is be ready to welcome them when/if they do.

This is how it should be IMO

fuzzpig · 07/09/2014 12:05

You could always pretend to be a satanist. I bet that would have them moving on fairly quickly.

Friend of a friend did that apparently. Called his dog over to say hi... pretended it was called Beelzebub :o

EmeraldLion · 07/09/2014 12:09

Reading the conversation, I actually think you were quite rude.

Our Church has a large church hall attached. It runs lots of groups for the Community that are nothing to do with the actual Church or religion.

She may well have wanted to hand you a timetable about Community fetes, mother and toddler classes, music lessons, book clubs and a new karate club using a church hall.

Things that may well have benefitted you and your dc. But you don't know because you didn't give them a chance.

WorraLiberty · 07/09/2014 12:09

I don't ever enter into conversation with these people...including "I'm not religious".

I just give them a big smile and a very firm "No thank you" as I begin to close the door.

To be honest, I find the charity collectors way more difficult to get rid of. They actually make me sound rude, because they start talking to me after I've said no thank you, while I'm closing the door.

OwlinaTree · 07/09/2014 12:18

I always wonder how the jw would respond if I took them a Christmas tree! It's beyond rude to me to knock on someone's door to spread the word, there are many other ways to spread the message.

Chwaraeteg · 07/09/2014 12:21

Yanbu. Nothing ruder then disturbing someone in their own home. I would have told them to sod off and slammed the door.

AllMimsyWereTheBorogoves · 07/09/2014 12:22

Rude, EmeraldLion? How so? If I were going round handing out leaflets to people about community activities, I would use my common sense and start with:

'Hi, we're starting a badminton club and wondered if you or your family would be interested - would you like a leaflet?'

That way, it would be perfectly clear I hadn't come to proselytise. Everybody knows that most people loathe being doorstepped by JWs and Mormons, surely.

And in fact, a leaflet is really all that's needed in that case. The knock on the door is the near infallible sign that a hard sell is about to be attempted.

Maisyblue · 07/09/2014 12:31

I don't think you were being rude, these people have very thick skins and being all nicey nice to them will keep them coming back regularly. My mil and fil used to have them round practically every Saturday morning having a brew and chatting about all sorts of stuff, mainly because they didn't know how to be assertive with pushy people.

Alisvolatpropiis · 07/09/2014 12:32

I don't think you were rude. You didn't them to fuck off!

I've no interest in speaking to anybody who knocks on my door who isn't family,friend or neighbour.

The Samaritans were collecting in my area last week, the woman at my door got really arsey that I only had euro coins (had arrived back from holiday mere hours earlier). Were it not for the fact it goes against all the manners I was raised with, I'd have told her to fuck off.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 07/09/2014 12:36

I think you were fine. They were rude to knock on your door requested. I usually say. "We're not interested, thanks" and close the door.

Maiyakat · 07/09/2014 12:46

I once had two young Chinese girls turn up saying they were students and could they practice their presentation on me? Then recited on about some very strange believe system, and couldn't answer any questions, just repeated what they'd already said. I felt quite sorry for them, and wondered if they'd been promised the opportunity to study in the UK only to end up at the mercy of some weird cult.

Gruntfuttock · 07/09/2014 12:51

fredfredgeorgejnr "The only slight hint of rudeness was the initial engagement, the "oh we're not religious" comment, you should've been straight into the no thank you."

What on earth is even slightly rude about "oh we're not religious"? Why, in your opinion is going "straight into the no thank you" more polite?

Fluffyears · 07/09/2014 13:58

My dad would always be abrupt and say 'I'm not interested' if they continued to babble he'd be more firm and say 'are you stupid? I said I'm not interested what part of that did you not understand, get to
Fuck off my property!' He was rude but they never bothered again.

YouTheCat · 07/09/2014 14:03

I think the pentagram and dead chicken hanging on the door would be enough.

We're in 'no cold caller' area and still get people knocking.

I don't think the OP was rude. The callers were rude for not taking the hint to start with.

flippinada · 07/09/2014 14:08

I don't think wear you said sounds bad at all - you weren't rude, but you were assertive. Some people interpret that as rudeness.

I bet you they will have heard an awful lot worse.

flippinada · 07/09/2014 14:09

*What you said, not wear.

LangenFlugelHappleHoff · 07/09/2014 14:12

If I see them coming I like to play with them - grab a random leaflet from the recycling and try to sell the items to them. I love the bemused faces as I pass the leaflet and close the door with a cheery wave

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 07/09/2014 15:13

Anyone who knocks on my door unexpected and uninvited has to take what they can get. I don't welcome exchanges with strangers on the doorstep about my spiritual beliefs, I think it's impertinent in the extreme.

OP: If your husband thinks you were inexcusably rude, tell him to pop round to mine, then he'll witness proper rudeness.

carlywurly · 07/09/2014 16:37

I was polite and ended up with visits for six consecutive weeks

In the end I was crawling round under the windows when they knocked and realised it was ridiculous so asked them to never call back.

They left it a couple of years and try now and again. I am always firm now and never accept the leaflet. That's their buying signal.

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